Destiny or Coincidence?

Athira Patel

His chocolate brown eyes always have the perfect way to capture me in whole without fail and making me turn into a jelly under his intense gaze. His eyes are a beautiful shade of brown which resembles the chocolate colour when sun rays fall and become dark brown colour in the night. It seems like the brown colour is normal one but still these brown eyes are something special with those melting gazes of his and forever i would like to drown in those eyes of his. 

Whenever I see or think about him, those eyes of his are the first thing that appears in front of me. Even now when we were dancing to some slow songs in a room full of audience, his gaze and his face are the only things that I can see in front of me and rest all became a blur including everyone. 

I can only feel his presence around me and even inside me which is making my heart flutter and my stomach to form butterflies which are ready to explode and fly. His hands which are around my waist are leaving a heat behind them at the place where he is touching me and the way his breath is fanning on my face clarifies that we are so close to each other and that feeling itself is enough to make my mind dizzy with a satisfied feeling and content.

But suddenly my heartbeat rose for a different reason and it's making me feel panicked. Everything around me changed from the beautiful audience to the place where Abhi took me to dinner with him. 

And the beautiful smile on his face disappeared and in place of it was a hurtful expression which tugged my heart with pain that i want to touch his face but found myself getting away from him which is making my situation even more panicked and was trying to get near to him. But it was like whatever i do, some invisible force is dragging me away from him making me fear of losing him. 

My heart was beating wildly against my chest and sweat forming on my body due to anxiety. I was shouting his name but still, he became very far from me that I shouted his name with full force to stop him from going away. 

"Abhi…." I gasped by shouting and abruptly got up by opening my eyes. 

"Athi…. Are you fine?" Riya asked immediately with worry and started rubbing my back again.

For a moment i thought that i have lost him but then it took me a minute to understand that it was just a bad dream and I sighed in relief while tears started falling from my eyes. 

I looked at Riya by hugging her immediately while crying and thinking about the dream. I was still shaking from the aftereffects of the dream and the room felt so hot but still, tears were falling rapidly without stopping. 

"Shhh... It's ok. Nothing is going to happen. It was just a dream. Relax" Riya cooed me by saying soft nothings while i was trying to control my emotions which are all over the place at present. 

After some time I calmed down from my emotional breakdown and hugged myself thinking about the events. I tried to divert my mind but failed miserably. All I can think about is him. Hell, even my dreams were not an exception. Whatever and however Riya tried to control me and make me comfortable, I still felt empty and lonely for the first time in my life. It's like a part is left with him when I came out of the car yesterday. I know that I can be at peace only in his arms and that is what worries me the most. 

"Go and fresh up. I will check if Rishi or Dev prepared something to eat." Riya said looking at me with a kind smile on her face and I reluctantly nodded my head in approval. Even though I am not in the mood to eat anything, I know that she will make me eat at any cost. So I simply nodded my head and slowly got up and went into the washroom while she removed some dress for me to wear after the bath.

I sighed after closing the bathroom door and started completing my daily routine while avoiding the mirror at any cost because i know for a fact how I look. After 2o minutes I came out after bathing and wore the pyjama and T-shirt Riya left on the bed and sat on the bed looking at my mobile. 

My hands and my heart are itching me to call him or at least message him just to know how he is doing, but the guilt is eating me away and I am unable to face him. I was fidgeting with my chain absentmindedly when i felt something on my locket. 

I immediately looked at it carefully to see that there is an opening in between the locket. Curious, I removed the chain from my neck and slowly opened it to gasp in shock. It's not just a love shaped locket, it's a locket where we can place pictures and close it to look like a love shaped locket. 

It was a picture of mine and his from the childhood where we both were laughing at the camera with his arm around my shoulder. What i didn't notice up to now is that he was watching me in the picture with a cute smile of his. Anyone can easily say that he has a crush on me with that glance of his. 

Then I remembered the pic when we have taken, and I clearly remembered him from the past. He used to be my friend with whom I used to play in the park every evening. I met him in the park one day when me and my mom went there after school. It was our daily routine to go to the park after school for an hour and I met him there itself for the first time. He was playing see-saw and I too wanted to play that, so i went near him and asked him to which he agreed immediately and from then on we used to play daily. Throughout the year I used to eagerly wait for the evening just to meet him and play with him. I even think that little me used to have a crush on him. He used to come to the park with his aunty before me since his school completes before my time, but never played with anyone except me and I felt like a queen. 

Then all of a sudden he left without saying goodbye. I waited and waited for him for almost four months every day in the park but he never turned up. I cried a lot by hugging my mother and eventually forgot about him. But he played a special role in my life and even still i remember our short but sweet friendship. This pic was one of those days where we were playing and his aunt has taken a photo of us. I think she gave it to him when he grew up. A smile formed on my face thinking about our fights, complaining, gossip, playing and everything we have done together. He was my Golu. God, how can I forget him? My Golu… My Abhi… 

I clutched the locket to my heart and cried thinking about our memories together and how I used to miss him all those years back. He was not an unknown, he was my friend from childhood whom i wasn't able to recognise until now. I kissed my locket repeatedly while crying happily that i found my lost friend after all these years. 

"Tada…. Here is your breakfast madam, prepared by my boyfriend" Riya entered with a plate on her hand and made a gesture by slightly bending and opening her hand to one side making me laugh at her. She too laughed and placed the plate in front of me when Dev and Righi entered inside smiling at me. 

"Good morning princess. How are you?" asked Righi my ruffling my hair and taking a seat beside me. 

"Feeling better now," I said smiling genuinely.

"Good, now first eat. Then we can talk" Dev said seriously but I can see the concern and the smile on his face. I just nodded my head and took the plate from Riya. She too sat beside my left side and Dev took the chair and sat opposite to me. 

I glanced at the three of them who were talking about the office work and office life while I was eating, I know that they are having many questions in their mind from the moment I came home yesterday but they are waiting for me to cool down. I think I owe them an explanation, after all they have done to me. 

Riya glanced at the locket which i kept beside me when they came inside and took it in her hands. I was just eating without lifting my head but I can see the curiosity in her eyes from the corner of my eyes. She opened the locket and looked inside. 

"Athi… Is this you in the pic?" she asked looking at me with confusion by showing the locket to me and for others to see. 

I think now is the time that they should know everything about it. I sighed by placing the plate on the side stand and took a deep breath before letting it all out. For a moment i closed my eyes to control all my emotions if i am going to say everything, then opened them slowly look into their eyes whose were questioning and confusing at the same time. 

"Yes. It's me and that is Abhi beside me" I said looking into her eyes to see her reaction. Her eyes became big with shock and even more confusion at the same time. 

"But…" She drawled out not able to complete the sentence.

"I know him from childhood Riya. He was Golu" I said and realisation drawled into her eyes making it even bigger with a gasp. And the reaction of the other two is also similar to hers.

"What the hell…." Dev said looking at me in shock,

I nodded my head and said everything from the start when we reached the hotel and till when I came home. All the while they listened to me intently without uttering a word and I was crying mess at the end while explaining everything to them.

Once I completed, I sobbed again by keeping both of my hands on my face and nobody said a word for a moment digesting everything that I have said just now. Dev hugged me from the front and I hugged him even tighter while trying to control my sobs which are so loud. 

"Shh… It's ok" he said rubbing my back and comforting me. 

"No wonder he was looking at you that way" Riya blurted out which made me even more crying. "Sorry Sorry, I didn't mean it that way… Fuck" She sighed coming closer to me and hugging from the back. 

"Why are you crying Athira?" Rishi asked to which I removed myself from Dev and glanced at him in confusion. 

"Because I feel guilty for hurting him" I mumbled after a moment digesting his question. Riya was glaring daggers in his direction while Dev was looking with a neutral expression.

"So you feel guilty for hurting him and even sympathy?" he again asked which confused me even more.

"Sympathy? No. I feel guilty for hurting him from these many years. I feel guilty that because of my stupidity he faced all these situations and hurt himself just to see me happy. I feel guilty for making him face heartbreak because of me. I feel guilty because I was the sole reason for his agony, pain, hurt, heartbreak and everything that he felt all these years" I said raising my voice and looking at him with anger evident in my eyes. All the while tears were pouring out of my eyes non-stop.

"So you just feel guilty and you are crying for that from yesterday? What exactly you feel Athira? What are you feeling at this moment?" He asked looking into my eyes with a serious expression on his face not giving anything away. I glanced at the other two to see that they too were silent and confused at the same time but they even know not to disturb Rishi in between his questions.

I thought for a moment about his question and how i felt currently. I closed my eyes feeling the emotions that are presently running in my mind. 

"I am crying because I hurt him, I am crying because of the pain he had to suffer all this time, I am crying because I cannot see him hurt and even in pain, but again voluntarily or involuntarily i was the reason for his pain which is making me feel guilty. I always wanted to see him happy and never in pain, but knowing that i was the reason all this time is making my heartbreak. But the thing is I am not crying myself, i am crying for him, for his pain he has to endure all these days, for his heartbreak. I am crying for the person who somehow became special and created his own space in my heart, I am not crying for myself Rishi, this pain and hurt is for him that he felt all along because of me." I said opening my eyes, which were filled with tears and anyone can see the pain in my eyes at present. 

He was smiling by looking at me and shaking his head to which i looked at him with furrowed eyebrows not getting what happened to him suddenly. I can see that Riya and Dev were looking at me with realisation in their eyes that they got to know the answer to this unknown question. It's making me frustrated but i tried to control myself. 

"If he is in pain, then it's hurting you, if he is crying then you are crying with him, if he is breaking apart then you too are breaking from inside. If he smiles then you smile, if he laughs then you too laugh with him. Whatever he does, it reflects you. Why Athira, Why? " Rishi asked with a knowing look on his face making me even more confused.

I looked at him for a moment before thinking about his question. He is right, I smile when he smiles, i laugh when he laughs, I cry when he cries and get hurt if he is hurt. I can feel his pain and agony that everything he is feeling at present. Why?

Why does his touch makes me feel butterflies and arise goosebumps on my skin? Why does his smile have that effect on me? Why do his eyes attracts me like a magnet every time i see them? Why if a girl is close to me then i feel jealous and anger at the same time? What is this feeling? It cannot be just like. It's something more precious and special. 

Then the realisation hit me like a hurricane. I widened my eyes like a socket and looked at them with shock and surprise at the same time.

"Oh my god…." I gasped by covering my mouth with my hands and looked at them with wide eyes and realisation. They are looking at me with a knowing smile on their faces and encouraging me to say it out loud.

"It's L…. Love…." I said looking at him and he nodded me to continue. 

"I… I…. Love… Him" I said stammering in between the words. "I love him Rishi… I love him" I said with so much happiness in my voice that tears started falling from my eyes and I was crying standing there like an idiot but still smiling at the same time. 

They all smiled and Riya squealed getting up and hugging me tightly with happiness…

"Girl… You realised now. Yes dammit, You love him… I am so happy" she said squealing and squeezing me at the same time. I laughed and hugged her back with the same happiness in my eyes. Tears were falling but these are happy tears.

All this while I thought that it was not love, when in fact it was love that is messing with my head. Oh my god… I love Abhi... I love him so much… I wanted to jump and dance at the same time squealing in happiness but controlled my excitement from doing so. 

"I love you Abhilash Ponnam," I thought smiling.

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Hello everyone,

Here is your awaiting chapter. I hope that you like it. please do let me know your thoughts and opinions on this chapter.

Till then....

Love....

Sprinkle....