Destiny or Coincidence?

Athira Patel

"You…. You mean that he is Go... Golu?" Dad stammered wide-eyed while asking with a tone of an above whisper as if saying out loud would make it even more real. I was shocked to know that dad knows Golu from his childhood. It's making all the more complicated than before. 

Aunty silently nodded her head in agreement with her head hung low that Dad stumbled back a little in shock which made all of us look at them in wide eyes except for Abhi. It was clear that it was taking a toll on him with the way he clenched his fists for the confirmation he just needed. On the other side, dad was breathing heavily due to the revelation that I wanted to go near him for support but was held back because of the betrayal I just remembered. I clenched my eyes shut to control the emotions that were resurfacing again.

"WHAT?" Abhi shouted getting up, that me and Adi immediately got up and ran to his side to control him from doing anything.

Aunty jerked a little because of his reaction and gave a weak sob in return that Adi went to her rescue for support, giving me a little nod to handle Abhi. I nodded my head slightly in agreement and captured his hand in mine to control his emotions from bursting. I can feel that it's taking everything in him to control himself but the moment he felt my touch, he relaxed a little and pressed my hand in return to control himself. It was tough but I can see that he is trying to do it for the sake of all of us. It was all a mess that it's taking a toll on our lives for good. 

All our life became lies and fake that it's eating our heart from inside and making us crumble little by little like a slow poison. The more we are listening to their past and getting to know the secrets, the more it was shaking our ground from beneath us with the twisted truth.

"Abhi…," she whispered with trembling lips after a moment of composing herself and wiping her tears with the back of her hand. 

Abhi clenched his eyes shut and turned away from her towards me while breathing hard. I touched his cheek with my palm to assure him that everything is going to be fine. But when? I too don't have the answer to it. 

"Abhi… please listen to me fully before you react" Aunty asked with a pleading tone that it made Abhi clench his fists in frustration but just gave a stiff nod in agreement. I held onto his arm for assurance that I am there with him in all these. After all, it looks like we both were the ones who had been subjected to all of this mystery and incident. He silently squeezed my hand in return by keeping his hand on mine to make sure I was with him throughout this. 

What a mess we are in, to begin with… We all became silent for her to continue with tensed looks on our faces but dad spoke instead.

"But…. But I thought he was with their grandparents?" dad asked more to himself than her. "I remember it clearly until today about Mr. Dhillon's words. He… he said that he was going to take care of Golu from that point. I don't understand…." he drawled out fisting his hair in confusion and frustration that I looked away from not being able to see him in pain. 

"That was my doing" aunty whispered, not meeting anyone's eyes but looking at the floor while speaking. 

"I wanted to compensate for the loss I have done. So I have pleaded with him for a chance, he was reluctant at first but he trusted me with his grandson because he knew about us too well. Of Course, for the first two years, he watched over every step I took for Abhi, but when he fully realized that I love Abhi as my own son, he left us alone and went back to his town. But not soon after that he died because of a heart stroke and wrote all the money on Abhi's name. He wanted his grandson's money to be invested in the business I have started for the sake of our families and wanted me to give him when the right time comes." she said looking at us with regret in her eyes. I can see her love for Abhi in her eyes but there was also regret about not telling him the truth beforehand. But I think even if the situation comes again where she can tell him the truth, she won't choose to tell him. I don't know why but I feel that she wanted to protect him from the breakdown he was feeling at present. She would easily choose to hide it from him in the blink of an eye without as much thinking. I can't blame her though because anyone's mother would do the same to protect her son from all this hurt and breakdown.

"So, yes I did as I was told and made yashwanth's dream come true. Of course, it was mine too but throughout the journey from making this company big, I realized that I did it more for the sake of regret and guilt that was eating me from inside. I did it because I thought I owe yashwanth at least this. I vowed myself to protect Abhi from everything and anything that comes his way to harm him. I vowed for his happiness and wellbeing and I did everything in me to protect him until now." she said looking at the ground with sadness in her voice. I feel the tremble in her voice which says that she is about to breakdown at any moment.

"Yes, he is not my own son Mohan. Yes, I adopted him. Yes, he is Spandana's and Yashwanth's son. But I don't regret anything, I love him with all my being. What if he is not my blood? I still raised him as mine." she said sobbing at the end and closing her face with her hands. This made Abhi shake a little that he came even closer to me than before for support. I can see that he is on the verge of breaking down with his mother. Probably my mother too technically, but I placed that thought at the back of my mind to face the present. 

Aunty cried for a few minutes before composing herself with Adi's help and looked at Abhi with sadful eyes.

"When I returned back from Hyderabad, I realized one more thing and that is you are left alone in this world because of me. It broke me down to the core making me vulnerable and lost. I was a mess with all the broken pieces scattered everywhere. Only Girish was patient enough to pick up all the pieces carefully and attached them again and made me strong enough to adopt you as my son." She said getting up and coming near Abhi but still hesitating to place her hands on his cheek. I can clearly see the guilt in her eyes. This was not missed by Abhi because his grip on my hand tightened due to the control he was maintaining at the moment. He was not glancing at her but looking at the ground even if she stood in front of her. It made her whimper in hurt but still continued to explain with a dejected heart which broke me a little inside from seeing her like that.

"It was not a decision I made in emotional state Golu, it was the decision I made after a lot of thinking. Whatever I think, I still felt the same about that decision and that is to adopt you and give you the life which I ripped away from you unknowingly. I don't know what I have done to deserve that fate but that day, I have lost my daughter and gained my son. Everyone said that I need to give you away to the adoption center but I was having none of it. I can't do that to Spandana and Yashwanth and even for you. Hell, I knew from my heart that I couldn't do it for myself too. Because even if you were the son of Spandana, you used to spend most of your time with me because I couldn't leave you. You were so small when I held you in my arms for the first time after Spandu gave birth to you in hospital." She said looking at her hands as if she is remembering every single thing about that day.

"I was there when she gave birth to you because Yashwanth was occupied in a meeting. When the nurse handed you over to me, you were so tiny and small that I feared that you might slip from my hands. But the moment I saw your face Abhi, I knew from my heart that I wouldn't let anything happen to you. I would protect you and keep you safe." She said smiling to herself and looked at him lovingly while he too stared at her with a gentle smile on his face.

"You know Abhi, when you opened your small eyes, my heart skipped a beat, seeing your beautiful eyes which held the innocence in them. I remember everything Abhi. Even if you were not my son, I used to be the one who held you all the time even after listening to many complaints from Spandu about me going to spoil you. But I didn't care. You and Adi became the two eyes of mine. But when I got pregnant with Athira…." she stopped for a second to look at me when my breath hitched in anticipation which was about to come. "Doctor suggested that I should take rest most of the time and not stress myself. It was then that I reluctantly stopped coming to your house to see you. But even then I used to call daily to know about your whereabouts." she said looking at him with love-filled eyes.

"So, when the situation arose where everyone was giving me different suggestions, it was easy to choose which one. Because I know it from the heart about what to do. I decided to put you first before anything from that day and raised you as my own son." She said finally without regretting it the least bit by placing her palm on his cheek lovingly. He didn't flinch back as I thought he would be but instead, he closed his eyes in pain that it broke me seeing them both like that. It sure was complicated but still clear as day to see the love between son and mother.

"Believe me when I say that I have every intention of telling you about your parents when the time was right. But by growing up, you became so attached to me that I became selfish for once and hid all the photos and documents, everything that was related to your parents and even your adoption letters. I wanted you to call me mom as you do every time. I wanted to become your mother. I know that I was betraying Spandana by doing this but I can't help how my heart would explode and shatter into pieces if you found out the truth and feel disgusted about me." She said crying and looking into his eyes with hurt and regret. But there was so much love in them too. She clearly was regretting everything she did but will do the same even if it repeats itself. Because she loved Abhi as if she were her own son.

"I became so attached to you Abhi and I didn't want you to leave me or hate me. Somewhere along the way, you became my other eye with Adi and I couldn't let you go," she said with a sob but holding herself to explain everything to him. I saw that tears were starting to pool around his eyes making me look at him with a pained expression. 

How can one feel the pain of both individuals at the same time? Was it even common? If not then why am I able to feel the pain and hurt of both of them who are standing in front of me? I can feel the pain, love, regret, loss, guilt, regret and even more from both of them that it's making hard for me to breathe normally while looking at them.

It was eating me alive to see the love of my life breaking emotionally in front of me but it was even worse when I see the mother who is trying to control her sobs to explain her actions and decisions for the sake of her son. I didn't know that I would feel this way about her but if I want to admit myself, then even my heart is crying with her sobs.

"I am so sorry for hiding the truth from you darling. I am…. so soo.. sorry baby" she apologized repeatedly saying sorry by kneeling down and sobbing that I wanted to catch her from falling down, but Abhi was quick to hold her tight from falling down and hugged her fragile and torn form while crying with her that it made me cry for both of them. So I cried silent cries by closing my mouth with my hand. 

"I am sorry Abhi… I am sorry" she said repeatedly over the hug that he tightened his grip over her for assurance. 

"Shh… Stop crying mom. It was not your fault and all that matters to me is you." he said above a whisper with thick emotion in his voice that my breath hitched looking at them. Adi came and wrapped an arm around my shoulder for support but I think it was more of a brotherly feeling.

He too was in pain and was torn in between brother and son, so it was a relief on his part when Abhi said those words. I can see that he was happy knowing that they would be fine.

"Please, mom… It was not your fault. And I am not going anywhere, leaving you. She might have given birth to me but you raised me and taught me everything till today. I might respect her because she was my birth mother but it would always be you in my life whom I would call mother. It would always be you. I don't care about the past and all that matters is that you were my mother and always will be. Nothing can change the fact. Not even you." he stated with raw emotion in his voice while looking at her with love in his eyes. It made aunty cry in happy tears that she hugged him immediately by sobbing again. But this time it was happy tears and not the other way around. 

"So you don't hate me??" She asked looking into his eyes with fear shimmering in hers.

He shook his head by replying that he wasn't to which she became happy and hugged him again with affection. 

They were in like that for some moments before she backed away and glanced in my direction that my breath hitched and my body went rigid, realizing that there was still some business left to express in regards to me.

But a part of me was really scared to listen to this but the other part and the logical part of me advised me to face it like the brave girl I am. It was encouraging me to give the chance they deserved to explain themselves for it as Abhi had done just a while ago. 

You have already thought about this Athira. And you know that you have to give them a chance to explain everything. Let them explain it to you before you scurry away from them in fear of getting hurt. I pushed myself to face the truth.

"Athira…" she whispered, taking steps in my direction that I stiffened making Adi massage my back to make me relax a little. But it was not giving me any calmness like I thought it would be and instead by breathing was coming in short which made Abhi come over to my side in an instant. 

This made Aunty stop in her tracks and glance at me with a broken expression on her face. Her expression made my heart squeeze a little and I shifted my gaze from her to the floor to make myself relax. This time Abhi put a hand on my shoulder silently which made me relax into his touch instantly. I need this right now more than anything in the world. I needed him to be my shield because I don't know if I can be able to manage or would shatter into pieces while listening to them. So I am happy to know that he is with me in all this.

"I thought you were dead…." She trailed off, looking into the distance with grieve expression that my heart started beating louder hearing this. 

"I thought that I lost the only daughter who made me feel complete with her presence. I was lost and grieved for all those years in guilt and regret of losing you. I was the shell of what I used to be dear." She said looking into my eyes with a pained expression that I held breath in fear of bursting or breaking the moment. Because somewhere at the corner of my heart, I know that I want all the answers but was afraid to let it out.

"Sure there was Adi and Abhi to make me forget about the pain but they cannot replace the only daughter whom I gave birth. They were there to make me happy and smile. They were there to make me forget about all the pain and hurt with their smiles and antics, they were there to make me realize that I am not alone in this world. But even in the midst of all these, I used to always miss you. I always used to think about you like what if you were here with them and laughing with your brother, or fighting with your friend or cry like a baby or become a strong girl while growing up." She said giving me a sad chuckle.

"I used to think of you every day and every night before going to sleep and after waking up. And always the loss of you used to eat me alive from inside." She said with a broken voice. 

"It was shocking to hear it, but I wanted that hope to be true. So I started the search party for you but failed miserably. Sources say that they couldn't find any source as to believe that you were literally alive" she said with a voice that sounded so vulnerable. "It was the time I met you in the lift for the first time. I was devastated to know that it was all in vain but you helped me cope with it. So from that day on, I stopped searching and accepted the truth that my daughter was not there in this world and that it was not good to keep hoping for something that is unrealistic." She said with a defeated sigh, yet her eyes spoke more than what she could express. She faced anything and everything till today and even hoped that her daughter would come back death but that didn't happen. And it tore her apart but still smiled for the sake of her boys. 

Now I can clearly see why she used to call me her daughter or why she became close to me.she felt the bond between us which dragged her towards me like a magnet. And to some extent even it was the same case from my side too because I became close to her in this short period of time and even thought of her as a motherly figure. It surprised me at first that I thought about her like that and became close to her but it felt right to be with her, so I didn't give much thought to it. 

"I might not know that you were my daughter but I felt some connection and bond with you. I thought that was only because I was missing my daughter and you were of the same age. Another thing is that Abhi when I got to know that you liked Abhi, I prayed to God to make you both together so that I can get a daughter in the form of a daughter in law because I was missing my own daughter. And yes, I was happy when I got the news about your relationship. I thanked God for listening to my prayers." She explained with a sad smile but still held love in her eyes. The only difference is that this time it was indicated towards me. I felt uncomfortable and uneasy knowing that she was pouring her heart and she was none other than my biological mother. But why I am unable to accept her with open arms is out of my league. I only know that it definitely takes time for me to cope with it.

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Hello everyone,

Here is your awaiting chapter. I hope that you like it.

Do let me know your thoughts and opinions on this chapter. I will be waiting for your responses.

Don't forget to vote, comment and share it if you like.

Also, as you all know about the coronavirus, please be safe, hygiene and healthy. It's not that deadly as ebola. So don't panic, just take precautions and maintain cleanliness.

Will update the next chapter by weekend. Till then see you...

Love....

Sprinkle....