Detective Training Manual

Yes, I am tired.

This feeling is very strange. In fact, before going to bed every day, I still have time to play games and so on. I also go out on weekends and go shopping. I also go to watch good-looking movies.

But inexplicably, I just felt a kind of unreasonable pressure.

I like to write things, and I can make some money by writing things. When I can support myself with my hobbies, it should be considered happy.

So why am I tired?

This unscientific.

Sometimes, I think about this question, but I can't get the answer. I will subconsciously substitute myself into Taoist novels, wanting to escape reality, but I don't know what I am avoiding.

Countless times, Tingting said to me: "Are you unhappy?"

I will deny her without thinking.

"How is it possible, what reason do I have to be unhappy?"

Yes, I have no reason to be unhappy.

In this state of mind, I have lived for one or two years... but the anxiety in my heart has not been relieved. I am like a hypocritical but useless high school senior, looking at myself. I was anxious about the test scores, but when I picked up the book, I was at a loss. I didn't even know where to start.

And this kind of anxiety will be inexplicably magnified towards the end of a book.

The more anxious I write, the more anxious I am when I write. In order to get rid of this anxiety, I want to reach the ‘end of the book’ moment uncontrollably, but I feel a little unwilling to finish a book so easily.

It was contradictory over and over again.

At first, I thought that this kind of contradiction originated from ‘there is no outline’.

But when I finally had the outline of a book, I realized that this was not the case, because the outline did not relieve my anxiety.

It's always there, scratching my heart, like a small file, frustrating the sensitive gaps in my frontal cortex a little bit, and I can't feel stable every moment.

Why?

Why?

This is a question that I don't even think about. Maybe only the most powerful detective can give me the truth.

Coincidentally, the book I am writing is a detective novel. Maybe in the process of writing a detective, the clever guys in the book can give me an answer.

"Go to sleep when you are tired," Tingting told me.

"Okay." I said simply.

I don’t know since when, the dialogue between me and her has become less and less. Every day I am always immersed in work and writing, but in these two things, there is no place for her. Change the angle or even It can be said...I don't have her anymore in my life.

For a married woman, if her husband treats herself with this attitude, it will definitely set off a huge storm at home.

But it’s strange that Tingting didn’t. With her strong personality, she unexpectedly accepted my neglect of her. On the contrary, she seemed to take care of my emotions intentionally or unintentionally, except when eating or sleeping. Don't talk to me much, just look at me quietly.

At 12 o'clock, I often fall asleep at this time.

Lying on the bed, the woman next to me didn't chat with me, just turned off the lights, and the darkness was quiet.

I closed my eyes and started an inevitable link before going to bed every day, thinking wildly.

Most of these random thoughts are not nutritious. When they fall asleep, they will be thrown into the trash can with the silence of their thoughts. When they wake up the next day, they will never remember what they were thinking about before going to bed. what.

In a daze, I seem to have entered a dream.

But I'm still awake, uh...whatever, maybe it's a dream that makes me think I'm awake, let it go.

In this dream, I opened the door of a bar and walked in.

There are some people in the door. They are talking and laughing around the table and chairs. I have seen this scene. I have been to this bar, but in my dreams, I don't seem to want to remember.

I just walked to the bar and asked a bartender with flames in his eyes to pour me a glass of wine.

Next to me, there is a person sitting, this person is Zhou Yan.

I was not surprised at the fact that he was sitting in front of me, after all, he was in a dream.

"Hi, how are you doing?" I said hello, I know him very well, because I have been writing his stories for the past few months.

"What else, my world is ruined, I can only drink every day in this bar." Zhou Yan said.

"Oh, I'm sorry, but fiction, if it doesn't destroy a world or something in the end, it's almost meaningless."

"That's right." Zhou Yan replied casually.

"So, what else do you do besides drinking? I mean, you can't just sit here all day with cans of beer."

Zhou Yan smiled and said, "It's definitely not. I am not so cold with wine...so when I am free, I will be studying you."

"Research me?"

"Yes, I had an ideal and a puzzle at the beginning of the novel. The ideal is that I want to be a member of Sherlock. The puzzle is who is Fatty. Now, my dream has come true, and the puzzle is also Untied.

So I just found a more worthy question to pass the time. "

"So you started studying me?"

"Of course, I'm your projection in the world of novels. I don't study you, can I study those madmen." Then he pointed to a small wine table beside him, and saw a man with messy hair. Shaking my white coat desperately, I smiled knowingly, knowing that he was afraid that the smell of smoke would remain on his white coat. And a poor-looking person next to him is sewing the corners of his mouth with a needle and thread. Last time he used black thread, but these days, he seems to be in love with red.

"How about your research?"

"There are still some places that I don't understand, because I am just a projection of your obsession, and I really want to study you thoroughly, and I need your help."

I nodded: "It makes sense, then I'm here now, the opportunity is rare, you might as well, like a detective, start some reasoning with me, how about."

"That's what I meant." Zhou Yan said: "First of all, the puzzle to be overcome now is...you've obviously been pretty good, but why are you always unhappy."

"Yeah, I don't know, sometimes I even feel that life is meaningless."

"After my reasoning and hypothesis, I think...you lost your dream."

"Hahaha." I smiled: "This reasoning is wrong, because I am working hard for my dream. My dream is to become a writer who can write novels and make stories. And now I do While writing a novel, although it is not worthy of the title of [writer], it is not to the point of "losing my dream"."

However, Zhou Yan shook his head: "No, you didn't understand. What I said was'Lost! Go! Dream! Think!', if you say it better, you don't know what your dream is anymore. , So what you have been working hard so far is not a dream at all."

"Huh?" I split my mouth: "Don't make trouble, how old I am, a sane group, don't you know what your dream is?"

"Cut, sometimes you can even confuse reality and illusion, and still have the face to say that you are rational?"

"Um..." I was speechless for a while.

Zhou Yan continued: "You and I are the same person in the two worlds, so you don’t have to hide anything... After my reasoning, I think you have now ] And [writing] are confused."

"Impossible." I waved my hand very resolutely this time: "I'm not poor, I don't want to make money that much."

"No, if you want to make money, it is not necessarily related to whether you are poor or not!" Zhou Yan also resolutely denied me: "You just want to make money now, but you make money not to spend money, but to prove yourself. "

"prove yourself?"

"Yes, you need to use [writing] to make a lot of money, because only in this way can you dare to have confidence in front of your family, and you dare to face yourself..."

"..." I was silent for a while.

"Think about it, why are you always afraid to tell the truth in front of your family? You have written three books, but you keep hiding it, so you don't dare to tell them? Because you know, you have no way at all right now. Get their approval.

It was once said in a love movie that a marriage without family support must be unhappy.

In the same way, hobbies that do not have family support are bound to be unhappy.

So in your dream of being a writer, you must find a way to get blessings from your family.

It's a pity that you can't get them to support you now, because you don't even dare to show them your book...Oh, no, you don't even dare to tell them that you are writing a book.

Haha, how ridiculous, what I have spent so much effort to write, I have to hide like a thief. With this mentality, it's weird that you can write a book well.

How can we save this phenomenon...there is only one way, and that is money.

You have to prove that you can make a lot of money through writing, and use these to silence your family.

When they say: "You can't write", you can go back justified. Do you dare to ask: "Why?!"

They will say: "Writing is not a serious profession. Without the five social insurance and one housing fund, what about your future life?"

At this time, you can use the money you earn to meet them. You can say: "I make more money through writing than you earn as a doctor. I can pay the five social insurance and one housing fund by myself, and pay the highest standard. It is 500 faster than your director level. Now the money I earn can support myself. I like to eat delicious food and live in a bigger house. If I have children, I hope he can have more A good education, a more comfortable growth environment, and the quality of life I want are brought to me by writing, but work can’t.

So, do you now want me to give up a better life?

I have the ability to live such a life, are you not satisfied? Do you want to stop me?

Is this contradictory to your saying ‘caring about me’ and ‘love me’? ! "

Listening to Zhou Yan's words, I suddenly fell into silence, because the words in his mouth seemed to have been said countless times in my random thoughts before going to bed.

"Hehe, how about it, did you find that only in this way can you make your family members speechless and stop them from pointing at you about'writing a book'?"

But unfortunately, now you don’t have the ability, and the money you transfer is not enough, and vocabulary such as [hobby] [dream] [like] is always powerless in front of your family.

In this way, ~www.readwn.com~your [dream] has inevitably become [make money].

Although you have been writing a book, you will be depressed every time a book of yours is on the shelves, because you will not think about its future development, nor will you think about the reader’s sense of the book, you The first focus is always [how much money can it bring].

Is this your attitude towards dreams?

No...Writing is just a tool from this moment on. It is no longer worthy of being called a dream.

In summary, we can deduce why you seem to be anxious at the end of every book.

Do you always think you are anxious about this book?

No... you are actually anxious about the next book.

You don’t know what to write in the next book. You don’t know how much money you can make in the next book. If you don’t make enough money, then you still can’t stand upright in front of your family. You’re afraid, you’re afraid. ...This is the real source of your anxiety! "