Different Dream Worlds - Reborn Cheats and Mysterious Skills to Build Different Worlds
59. I Will Not Return What I Lost
"Serna......"
I woke up from a dream and I stared at Bo and the ceiling and squealed.
What I saw was the memory of Reggie and Serna. No, there's no emotion, no thoughts, nothing to be there, just recorded footage.
As a third party, I can't grieve her death from the bottom of my heart...
How can it be so hard yet? How can it be so painful, painful, and painful that your chest is about to rip open?
I don't even remember her as one thing...
It shouldn't be any different than watching sad stories coming on TV...... how could I be so sad?
I could only think of one answer to that.
I remember her. It's not a memory. I remember the days my heart spent with Serna, how I felt about her.
"You're awake! Ray!"
"Char...?
I don't think I've seen Charstena's face in a very long time. Charstena has a full smile.
Serna's last face was laughing, too. How could she have smiled like that before she died?
I didn't think Serna's life was a good compliment. He lost his parents at an early age and closed his short life with difficulty himself.
I wonder what that smile was.
To whom and with what thoughts was that smile directed?
Who... there is only one. Reggie, I mean towards me.
I wonder what made you smile?
Her last words, those that got interrupted along the way, must have made that smile.
"Next up, to my real family......"
I want to be.
Isn't that what the word went on?
Serna must have thought ahead and smiled. Hoping to be a real family with me, dead.
"What...? What's wrong, Ray?
"What... oh, tears...?
Is that a tear of sorrow or, finally, a tear of joy at seeing Serna's family, or both...
Serna must have thought of me like a family.
It must have been a pleasure to be present at the end of Serna like that, Reggie said.
Serna wouldn't have thought she didn't want to see her family during her death. I must have missed you.
Just face-to-face. But it must have saved those two. At least for Serna...... it must have been one of the reasons I smiled.
"Bad Shall. Nothing..."
Wipe tears and smile. That was such a lousy smile that I didn't think I had theatrical skills, and I could tell at a glance that I was making a laugh.
Charstena looked worried and gave her a slightly troubled look when she felt she was unable to do so.
Charstena was a little angry that she was late.
But as we waited for the two of us to return in the Wang capital, Haku flew in desperate shape. If you ask me, it seems Ray is falling off a cliff and dying. So he rushed onto Haku's back and came to the village inn where he brought in the injured Ray.
The injury was not as bad as it was. He seems to be losing his mind because of a hard blow to the head, but his body was about bruised. While I was also relieved by that, I treated him but Ray didn't wake up. After a few days I didn't wake up, and after a week I finally woke up, I was crying spicy.
Charstena got worried, but I don't know why I'm crying and I'm in trouble. I didn't know what words to hang.
"... Something wrong?
"Nothing... I'm just sad. Not me, me..."
Charstena didn't know what the word meant. He looks in extra trouble.
I didn't know how to talk and all I could say was that answer. I haven't even sorted it out yet in me. Am I Ray or Reggie? I may not be able to reveal myself until I know the answer.
"Pi."
"Thanks Huck. 'Cause it's okay now."
Huck rubs his head to comfort him. It's a sweet move, but it's comforting to me.
stroking a hack like that, I think.
Nord said. Said my memory with Serna was the reason I couldn't abandon Sarah.
Simply thinking about it, I guess that means I can't abandon that kid who's in the same situation as Serna.
But the problem is that it's Nord who said it. You shouldn't think of him in common sense. equal to, or more powerful than, God.
You have the least amount of power to reincarnate me.
Besides, he's probably the one who took away my memories with Serna.
If I'm just forgetting, I should be able to remember now. But I can't remember one thing. That must be because there's no memory of Serna in me.
There are two possible.
I lost my memory for real. Or taken.
In the former case, the moment of loss would be the moment of the loss of Serna. But is it that easy to lose your memory?
I lost my memory before, too. That was because it was beyond its limits. But I didn't lose everything. It's like some memories are missing fragments.
Was Reggie over the limit then? It didn't look that way. Even if it was beyond, could it possibly lose everything?
Instead, it's more natural to think that someone took it from you if you think so. And if that's what you can do, there's only Nord.
Then why did Nord take my memory?
Nord has been helping me for a long time. Its purpose is my liberation. And I don't know what the other one is, but that it's me who has to know.
I mean, for his sake, I'm an absolutely essential piece.
Will he do something to my detriment?
Then Nord will have stolen my memory for me. What's the point of that?
Reggie, who lost Serna, was terribly saddened. You wanted to get rid of that? Why? Was that worth taking away everything I spent with Serna?
If it's worth it, the piece that says I'm missing. Doesn't that mean I won't be able to serve Nord's purpose?
Reggie was about to break with grief. So I took away my memories. Is that what Nord did?
Then why did you tell me that?
You didn't expect me to suspect you?
That can't be right. So what's your purpose next time?
Why did he let me dream like this?
You just told me why you can't abandon Saila?
In the first place, what's that?
My thoughts got grand. No matter how much I think about it, I don't think of anything more, only time passes for pranks.
Haku has been consoling me, but Charstena watched me quietly, perceiving what I was thinking in my head.
As only time passed that way, the door to the room slowly opened.
It was Sarah who quietly opened the door and came in. The face looked a little undecided.
…………
I came in. I didn't say anything to Sarah. Because I wasn't organized yet.
Saila looked at such a silent gaze and shook her body in a freak. I guess you felt I was angry.
"Oh, you know, I'm sorry..."
"... to what?
That's a mean way to ask. But I thought I had to ask.
"Eh, that hurt me..."
"Right. So? Does Saila still want to die?
"... I don't want to die... but I can't live forever... if it's just painful... I want to be easier..."
You want to get easier...
I felt wrong about this. But that's my value, not Saila's.
Japan also had something called euthanasia. That and her thoughts are similar. But only one thing is different. She has a way of helping. It's tough stuff, for sure. But the chances are not zero. She's given it up.
"Oh well. It must be painful for Sarah to live. Whether it's eating something delicious, talking to someone, or something funny, it's all painful for Sarah."
"... no..."
"What's the difference? 'Cause you gave up, didn't you? You gave up because it's hard to live, didn't you? There's nothing else alive, is there?
"No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I can't do it."
Saila screamed out loud to smash her. The cry was a sad one, and I felt like I was being taken seriously.
"That's why I'm telling you I gave up. I'm giving up hope, but I can't."
"'Cause God said I wouldn't be able to live long."
"Did you give up because you said God was going to die? You can easily give up your life."
"'Cause I can't do 99 in the next two years... and I can't possibly go to the World Tree..."
Saila said so spicidly. It was hard for me to tell you why I had to give up my life. Because it was like reiterating that I had no hope.
"That's what's wrong. Sarah doesn't believe in herself? I can do it."
"I can't... I can't do anything..."
How can I trust myself when I can't do anything right?
"Why can't you? You're just not trying, are you?
"Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. What do you know? ⁉ Why do you keep saying that the other day? ⁉ ⁉ Leave me alone already. ⁉"
…………
I didn't have the words to answer that. I wanted Sarah to have hope and I've been connecting words, but I don't want to help Sarah myself. Reggie's heart is trying to get him to do it.
It's like bending my will. I didn't care about that.
But you're not. He's me, too.
Don't let me hear my heart scream. What are you gonna do? Then isn't it the same as Saila who doesn't listen to her own heart scream?
"... because my heart commands me to help Saila"
"Hey, why..."
"I don't know. Sarah doesn't have to do anything if she can't do it anymore. I'll do something about it."
I followed my heart and made up my mind.
Go to the World Tree. And I'll be back before Saila dies.
………
Saila didn't say anything. You look like you're desperate for tears.
Maybe you're happy. She doesn't want to die either. But I just gave up that I couldn't do it myself.
"Ray, what are you gonna do?
"I'm going to have to go to the World Tree. So I'll manage to make it."
Charstena asked me how I was willing to help Saila, to listen and put it down before she was unscrupulous again. Besides, I teach you the idea of no planning or shit.
"Whatever it is..."
"Wait! I'm coming, too!
Saila said to interrupt Charstena's words. That's not a sad cry until just now, like clinging to hope.
It sounded like he was desperately trying to convey his will to live.
"I knew I didn't want to give up! I can't do this alone, but, please! I..., I still want to live!
"... well. Fine."
"Hey, Ray."
Grabbing my arm with a light permit, Charstena took him out of the room.
"Oh, my God, you were all wrapped up in a good feeling."
"She's sick, isn't she? I can't take you to the world tree."
Lose your voice and start talking so that Sarah inside doesn't hear you.
"You don't know if you can't do it, do you? Besides, if Saila comes with me, you don't have to think about your time home."
"That may be..."
I walked back and forth for over two years. Probably a year or so if you fly away. If Saila's coming with me, I'll just have to go one way for six months.
Simply thinking about it will suffice in time.
"And if it comes with Saila, you may not have to go to the World Tree"
"What? Why?
"When it evolves, the disease will heal. That kid can evolve on the last 79 levees. He can't do it alone, but I think if I support him, he can take it to 99 somehow in the past year."
It took me roughly two years to kanst from Saila's level.
But I know how to shorten it. All you have to do is hunt demons. I wasn't vigorously hunting demons at the time. So if it's two years, it shouldn't be impossible to make Saila kanst in a year if you support her.
"That's what I can't do. She's not like me or Ray, is she?
"Until I turn you into a rabbit."
It does make sense to say something about Charstena. Maybe I shouldn't think by abnormal standards.
But I still don't think it's possible given that Gold and Anna have been involved with me and Charstena to an unusual level.
No, make it possible. You can't let me give up. Because that's synonymous with giving up Saila's life.
"Rabbit?"
"Whatever it is, Saila wants to go. That's not what we're saying."
Sarah's trying to save her own life. There's nothing we can say about that. All you have to do is give him a hand.
I'm done talking and I'm going back to my room. Back in the room, Saila was staring anxiously at this one.
Charstena still felt uncomfortable, but she doesn't seem willing to talk about it on this occasion anymore.
"Pii."
"Hmm? What? Don't be so sweet today."
"Parents are sad. And Haku. '
Huck still seems to notice and comfort me in my grief.
My heart wasn't clear yet, even as I talked to Sarah. Emotions that woke me up once don't seem to disappear so easily.
"All right, let's go to the World Tree then"
"Yeah!"
"Pii!"
Saila and Haku reply well. But Charstena's been waiting for me.
"Ma'am! What are we going to do about the martial arts?
"Ah..."
I forgot...
If I tell you I'm not answering, Gilk, you're gonna get mad at me? You're gonna be so mad at me, I'm sure.
And there's something about Dick, and what should I do...
Prince Erotic in trouble here, we can't rely on him this time, so let's ask Charstena.
"Char ~"
"No, even if you look at me like that... Gilk, because you're a militant tournament bug. You're gonna get mad at me, aren't you?
"Right, right? I don't care if it's funny or not..."
My pride hurts. I'm sure it'll be the other way around.
"Ray's bad, isn't he? Because I don't think about anything..."
"Rude. I always think and act."
"It's just a lie... that's only when you serve something, isn't it?
I can't tell you back when they say that. I laugh bitterly and try to delude myself.
Saila, who looked wondering if she didn't know about the militant tournament there, asked.
"What's a militant tournament?
"Simply put, it's a school-by-school match. Do something and decide which school is the best."
"Wow, proper..."
"No, 'cause you don't know what it's all about and what you're still going to be?
I don't know what you got but a tournament and you're out for a drink?
I'm talking about what kind of idiot the hell you are. No, it's me...
"What? I confirmed this to Ray, didn't I?
"Uh, at that time, I wasn't listening with earplugs because Gilk was loud on the side"
It was really incredibly loud. This and this is fine, right? I wouldn't mind if Sharstena, by herself, talked about it in the tense when she spent hours trying to transform it into more detail.
I got away with it.
I was wondering if this guy was still talking in a silent world.
"Can I hit you?
"Go ahead, give me the gilk"
Bring the blue muscle to my smile. I give Charstena the gilk she's not here. Sacrifice.
It's his fault in the first place, so I want you to hit him over there. I just ran away. For example, even if Charstena has been listening in the meantime...
I should have given Charstena an earplug, too.
"I'm out too - hey!
"No, no, because I can't. I have to go to school."
"Er, Ray, just your brother!
"If you say that, so is Shall, right?
Saila laughs with pleasure when she regains her energy. Unlike the words, there was a gleaming smile on his face. Maybe Sarah's trying to walk over to us like she is.
"Shull, hey, snarl! Cahahahaha!"
Saila smiles like a child for real fun.
Me and Charstena look each other in the eye and leak a little laugh at Saila like that.
Good. I think I'm feeling better.
"But what do you really do? I'll try to talk to the school somehow."
"Um, I figured we wouldn't make it? Can you go with Parr and come home with Pew?
"We don't have five more months, do we? Ray can't do it on a boulder."
Five more months, two and a half months each way.
A year's walk away, if you fly away, you can probably go less than six months. But I can't do that half as fast as I can on a boulder. 1.5 times the speed of walking would be the limit at best. Still need 4 months x 2.
I don't care what you think, you won't make it.
Give up the martial arts tournament or change the way you do. I mean, we'll head out after the martial arts tournament, or we'll raise the level.
"Hmmm......"
"Sarah's gonna be okay, right? I'll put up with it, I'll have time. You can live two years, right?
"No, but..."
"Besides, I want to see the militant tournament too, Saila! Not until it's over! Ray, your brother's in the martial arts!
I think I've got you worried. It's also like risking your own life.
I can't refuse to take such care of her, and I agree.
"Thank you, Saila. I will win the martial arts tournament, and I will definitely help you with Saila. Promise."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah."
All right, if you decide to, I'll be ready for the militant tournament. I've been skipping lately.
Let's start training for real tomorrow.
The thing about Saila is after that. I'm gonna waste six months, but I'm fine.
I'm sure I can do it.
"... hello"
"Well done. Are you calm?
I was coming to Dragon God.
I felt a little awkward the other day because I wanted to break up with the fight, but I thought I would not fulfill my brother-in-law to Dragon God, who helped me many times, so I took a leg.
"Yes, but I decided to help Saila."
"... didn't you understand what I said? I'll tell you what, we dragons can't help you. 'Cause if you do that, I understand that you don't have a chili.'
"Right. I'm going to understand with my head that I don't have Kiri. But my heart doesn't seem to understand, so I decided to follow it."
'... you're young... You should remember one thing. They have powers that are unsuitable for their age. Yume, don't use that power the wrong way. "
"... I know,"
Even if you don't tell me, I'm willing to use my powers.
I took the word of Dragon God lightly. But Dragon God said that in a deeper sense. Besides, I didn't realize.
Later on, I was already on track.
Believe me, I didn't suspect that I could do anything alone.
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