Don't Concern Yourself With That Book

Chapter 158

Translator: yun

When I raised my head, her red hair shook and fluttered in the dark. Her bright red eyes seemed to have been set ablaze beneath her strands of hair. At first glance, it looked like a beam of golden light bent through the eyes staring at me. 

“Oh dear, I tried to deal with this as calmly as I could. This is not cute of you at all.”

Before I knew it, she was already holding a medium-length sword in one hand. It was the sword I saw in the  basement. Marissa raised the hand that was not holding the sword. She bit onto the ends of her gloves before pulling it off her arm. She spat out her white gloves at her feet. 

Her white skirt that had been ripped when she unsheathed her sword fluttered violently. 

“No matter what filthy and shameful things you went through. Even if you were shamefully humiliated and embarrassed as a result.”

“…..”

“Child, death can never be the answer.”

Even in her dress that revealed her bosom, she remained surprisingly reverent and beautiful as her words struck my ear.

“Those who abandon their dignity to live are not truly living.”

Her expression reminded me of Amor’s the moment he gave me advice. She was emotionless, had no small tremors, had a firm gaze and her words were stern. I could feel the determination of someone who had experienced far worse things. 

Thud.

The man stabbed by Marisssa’s sword collapsed. It was the man who had covered my mouth and pointed a sword at my neck. 

“… Marissa?”

At that moment, I was so flustered and could no longer organise my jumbled thoughts. All I could think of saying was her name. At the same time, she looked at me in surprise.

“… Oh my?”

I made a mistake.

“Do you know me?”

Her red eyes slowly scanned my whole body. Hm. Her captivating voice tickled my ears. 

“Ah, I know.”

Finally, she seemed to be seeing me in a new light as she smiled as if she finally got the answer she had been looking for. 

“You’re… ‘Ahn’, aren’t you?”

Marissa smiled quietly.

“Let’s deal with the petty annoying thing first and then let’s talk.”

Her voice was clear as if she had been relieved of something. There was no sign of the resignation to follow them submissively from a while ago. 

That was the end of our conversation. Marissa’s sword danced around me before drawing a wavering line in the air. The narrow space where two people could barely stand shoulder-to-shoulder was the perfect place for her to fight in. The men were falling like dead leaves. Finally, her sword headed for the man who looked like Dane. 

“Haha, Marissa. Even if you suddenly change your attitude now… What can you do with that body?”

“Can you shut up?”

She swung her sword up as if she found it amusing. There was a clang as Deros’ sword rose up as well. Deros did not let go of his own sword but he did let out a low groan. He jumped back in. 

Marissa looked like someone else when she swung her sword. She moved beautifully as if she was dancing. All of a sudden. I recalled how she had been my replacement for the dance for a long time. 

… You mean they would rather look for the princess than this beautiful person? 

Ah. This was not the time. 

‘I’ll have to ask for help.’

When I tried to get up with my knees, I brushed against something. It was the gloves she had been wearing just now. 

The Empire was in a region that experienced mild weather throughout the year. We were currently in a season where anyone would sweat after running for a while. So, she must have been soaked under the gloves. My dress drenched in cold sweat was evident of this. 

“Wait.”

As I touched the gloves, I found something new. 

“Are these…  fingers?”

I felt something hard around the fingers of the glove. 

When I flipped the gloves upside down, what fell out were small logs of wood. They looked like very intricate and well-made fingers… I whipped my head around. 

“You can’t beat me, can you?”

“You’re holding it in well. With those hands.”

“I don’t find a man who speaks too much when in a spot charming.”

“Marissa!”

My gaze fell on her hands. I finally let out the breath I had been holding at the spot my gaze landed on. There was a finger missing on one of her hands. 

“Though you might once have been a successful templar, the moment your finger was sliced off, you became nothing more than a retiree. Marissa, why can’t you just comply?”

Deros gritted his teeth. 

“Just like Auresia, you surrendered to the Emperor the moment he died.”

Auresia? My birth mother?

“You’re not changing anything by merely saving a few women.”

Deros stared at Marissa as he lowered his sword. And after letting out a long sigh, I lifted my head to make eye contact with Marissa.

“If you don’t want to die here, lower your sword. You only can use your divinity for so long. It’ll be too much for that body of yours if you use excessive strength.”

His bright orange eyes had a strange glint. Marissa curled her lips into a sneer as the tip of her sword shook as if she was laughing. 

“Tsk. This useless man, who do you think you’re talking to?”

The end of her strike was headed towards Deros. 

“My value will only be determined by myself.”

Marissa spoke clearly.

“Change begins from the smallest things. Just like how I’m wielding the sword for this cute child here. Are you sure nothing will change? How funny. I will continue to only raise my sword for the weak.”

“…..”

“Someone like you and your family who built your status by leeching off commoners will never understand.”

I did not understand what was going on. I might never understand even the fragments of emotions that are tightly intertwined between the two of them. Nevertheless, Marissa’s words were clearly engraved on my heart. 

This dark alley reminded me of the road I’ve been walking on this whole time. All my life I had been travelling in a tunnel towards a faint light that I was not even sure existed. It was the only way for me to survive. 

Perhaps if I had let myself die just a moment ago, I would have stayed in the dark and continued waiting for the day the light came. Marissa helped me realise this.

I wouldn’t have thought about this on my own, right?

“The day I see you again, I will cut you down.”

Deros spoke with a low voice as if he was grinding his teeth. And the moment he turned around, he screamed. 

“Urgh!”

Deros was lying on the floor. No, it looked like he suddenly collapsed on the floor. In a blink of an eye, the person who knocked him down approached us. 

“Prin — I mean, mistress.’

Just from the sound of the footsteps, I could tell it was the knight I was so familiar with. 

“I want to believe that you’re causing accidents on purpose at this point.”

He grabbed my hand and pulled me up. I grabbed his arm and leaned onto him. He just wrapped his arm around my shoulders without a word. 

“Nothing happened. I wasn’t seriously hurt.”

“I don’t think I can believe you when this is your standard of normal.”

“I’m serious.”

I looked at Marissa.

“Thank you for saving me.”

I approached her.

“Marissa.”

A life that was not mentioned in the <Light of Rusbella>. Just like me. The thought suddenly hit me. But I never considered myself an extra. Not even a little. 

After I had confirmed that this was truly the world within the original novel, I thought it would be good if I could continue to live my life outside the spotlight. 

Did I have to live my life flashily after having died 40 times? Was I even desperate? It would be disappointing to know that the price I paid for not taking my life seriously was a life that should have been filled with dignity. And it was disappointing to know that I couldn’t even feel the disappointment. 

It was nice to know that in the original novel, there was someone on the sides of the stage, someone outside the stage who was dancing differently and living passionately. Just a little while ago, Marissa held herself more impressively than any of the main leads in the original novel. She felt like a heat wave. 

“You’re the second most beautiful knight I’ve ever seen.”

She stared at me calmly and spoke coldly.

“The second?”

“The first is this one. My knight.”

I tapped Lord Ray. His scent helped me relax. I smiled involuntarily at his scent which made him smell like he had just walked through the market. 

“I’m sorry. I found out about your secret but I won’t tell anyone.”

I carefully handed over what I had been holding onto the whole time. 

“Thank you.”

I wanted to ask if it was uncomfortable living without a finger and ask her how it happened but I unknowingly held myself back. 

If someone had asked me if it was uncomfortable dying over and over again, I myself would be uncomfortable as well. 

Even just carrying regret along with me was burdensome. 

Marissa glanced at my hand. Before bursting into laughter. 

“You’re the first person I’ve met who never asked questions.”

“Really?”

It was neither seductive nor charming but she still managed to burst into a very captivatingly beautiful smile as she tilted her head. 

“Yeah. You look like a friend I had a long time ago. She had purple eyes just like yours.”

She straightened out her back that she had bent over from laughter before putting on the gloves I handed her. 

“Pretty child.”

Marissa flicked her wrist holding her sword before asking me with a kind expression. 

“Now that you know my secret, won’t you tell me something?”

I nodded slowly. 

“Who are you?”

She was not nervous and asked the question normally. However, I was unknowingly left speechless. 

She asked who I was. Who am I? Someone who reincarnated? An extra in some novel? The owner of a diary filled with malice? Someone who would regress? Someone who knows everything about the future? 

“Have confidence when you give orders, mistress. You shouldn’t bow to anyone.”

Rebecca, if my lady-in-waiting saw this, she would be surprised. Hannah told me to be more confident than anyone else at times like these. 

I smiled with a glow in my eyes and my lips upturned. 

I was not sure who I was yet. Nevertheless, I would try to understand myself completely and move forward. All my anger and frustration at the people who have no right to usurp my future and my burning desist to fight back was contained within myself. 

“The 8th Branch of the Empire. I am Ashley Rosé Auresia Kaltanias.”

I could hear a commotion from a distance. People’s cheer and pleasant laughter filled my ears. 

“You’ve been the one dancing in my place, right?”

Along a certain street in the capital that had never been described in the original novel. As I travelled out of the palace for the sake of a maid who lived outside the narrative, I met a woman who lived an intense life outside the original novel and ignited a spark in me. 

“I wanted to talk about a lot of things but let’s save it for another time.”

If Rebecca saw me now, would she be satisfied? I spoke with a smile. 

“See you again, Saintess.”