Don't Concern Yourself With That Book

Chapter 179

Translator: yun

“Your Highness.”

The one who spoke was Hernan. He was wearing traditional robes and had all his white hair swept to the back. 

“The emperor is waiting for you.”

Hernan greeted him without mentioning anything unnecessary.

“Ah. The day has arrived.”

“Yes.”

Strangely, the moment Ashley saw his dazzlingly white hair, Ashley felt as if she had made eye contact with him. 

“I greet the noble 8th Branch.”

“Ah, yes.”

There was no reason for him to act like a stranger. Didn’t something happen between them in the capital not too long ago? 

Still, Ashley wondered. He was acting distant as if that had happened long ago. 

‘Urgh, my head…’

No, the colours of her memories with the duke were fading  and there was no strength in her body to stop it as if her body didn’t want to remember. 

As she pondered about it, she did think it was a strange reaction but those thoughts were immediately erased by the drug still coursing in her body. For her, the effects of the drug overwhelmed her willingness to remember. 

The practice she had afterwards did not last for long. 

Ashley’s patronus, the Crown Prince, was dealing with political matters in place of the Emperor and could be considered one of the busiest people in the Empire. Because of that, there was little time for him to practice. 

“You are extraordinary.”

Most of the nobles in charge as well as the girl had been concerned over him but their worries were proven unwarranted. Her patronus had a good sense and athleticism which allowed him to stick out his tongue comfortably. (1)

‘Can you be good at dancing when you’re good at the sword too?’

Based on Lord Ray’s abilities, that didn’t seem to be the case, but seeing Castor, she thought she had been proven right. 

“You’ve improved immensely.”

Even today, the hands grabbing her waist were very firm as if he was never letting go of her.

“Thank you.”

His languidly folding eyes looked creepily ecstatic. 

‘He’s being gentle? The tyrant?’

For a moment, an uncomfortable feeling crept up her fingertips as if she had been tied to some spiderwebs. 

‘I must be going crazy.’

She was unexpectedly confused. Still, she pulled herself together and smiled innocently. 

“This princess is once again honoured that you said that.”

She gave a wide smile. 

‘Today marks the third day.’

As soon as the moment came to an end, for some reason, the tyrant remained quiet. 

Like the day he threatened to kill her by asking what he meant to her, madness was swirling within him and there was tension in the air.  But she couldn’t see any of that.

Rather, she was just anxious because it was too peaceful.

Hernan came to look for him after the practice. 

“His Majesty is looking for me again? What. Alright.”

Castor did not hold onto her for long. 

“Hernan, take Ashley home.”

“… Yes.”

After greeting her, he left the hall in his loose robes. Hernandez led her outside. 

“You don’t need to take me back.”

“No. Please allow me to follow my orders.”

Ashley paused at Hernandez’s friendly tone. She was puzzled for a moment but still followed after him without saying a word.

She knew walking around outside drenched in sweat was quite brazen of her but she just wrapped her shawl tighter around her and continued to walk. 

‘I think it’s already too late for me to save face now.’

After walking along a long corridor, when they could finally see the main gates, Hernandez paused in front of a pillar before turning around to face her. 

“Are you alright?”

“What?”

Ashley had been staring at the gates in the distance and the moment he spoke, she raised her head. One of the things men from the Empire could brag about was their height so she always had to strain her neck to look up. 

“About what? I didn’t catch the subject you mentioned.”

Ashley paused for a moment to contemplate whether to use speak formally or informally but considering the number of eyes in the Central Palace, she spoke the former. (2) Come to think of it, she hadn’t seen this handsome duke’s face in a long time. 

“I was…. Wondering… if you’re doing alright with this situation.”

“This situation?”

“I’m referring to the fact that you’re dancing with Castor.”

As the sun set, signalling that the day was turning into night, rays of the dusk sun hit parts of his white hair before shattering. 

“Don’t you… hate His Highness, the Crown Prince?”

Conscious of the fact that they were currently in the Crown Prince’s Palace, he lowered his voice when he mentioned Castor’s name. However, Ashley, who was unable to understand his intentions, was already standing closer to Hernandez. She had been inching closer to him to hear what he was saying but she found herself stuck.

“… I do.”

Ashley tilted her head as if she was in thought. 

‘He isn’t wrong…’

She raised her head again.

“You’re right.”

Suddenly, her eyes met the gaze of his sky blue ones. She stared at the surprised man who was also puzzled. 

“Why do you ask?”

Just as Hernan turned his face away, he waved his hands.

“I-it’s nothing. Pretend you didn’t see anything.”

Ashley narrowed the distance between them from two steps to one. 

“No, don’t come…”

“I can’t hear you.”

“I, still, if you come too close…”

‘If I do?”

Ashley needed to narrow their distance to figure out what he was mumbling. However, the white-haired duke was oblivious to this fact as he continued to retreat from the narrowed distance. It looked like he had no intentions of being close to her. Still, in the end, Ashley won. She stared at the man who was only one step away.

“Why are you doing this?”

“Ick, princess.”

All Ashley could see was his hands that covered his face.

“Coul-could you just hear me out from over there?”

It was only then did she notice his red ears that stood out against his white hair. It was because his hair was so white that his red ears stood out even more. 

‘… I wanted to do something more.’

It was so strange. Didn’t they do something a lot more than this back when she was ‘Ahn’? With an indifferent expression on her pale face, Ashley deliberately tilted her head. 

‘What a strange person.’

She was thinking of taking a step back, but the man who had been blushing for some time now seemed to have something to say…

Just then, a vague thought passed through her mind. 

Didn’t she used to hate him a long time ago?

‘Why did I hate him?’

Did she used to hate him back then? Why? What was this feeling that she was getting for no reason? She wondered what could be a possible reason, but as if there was a gap in her memory, she couldn’t think of anything. 

‘… My head hurts.’

No, the more she thought about it, the more her head pounded and the further everything got.

“Duke. If you have nothing more to say, I’d like to go. I’m feeling pretty cold now.”

She didn’t have the luxury to get lost in the tyrant’s abode. 

“… That… Yes. I’ll see you out.”

He looked like he had a lot to say but he decided to hold it in. She didn’t care either way but she was curious. 

‘I wonder if it stands out more because he’s so pale.’

As they continued walking, there was a constant humming noise. It was a creek. The moment Hernandez turned his head away so that he wouldn’t be able to see, Ashley ran away. She soaked her handkerchief in the clear stream before handing it to him. 

“What is this?”

“Can’t you tell?”

Ashley shook her hand a little to check whether he was going to accept but after he let out a strange sound, he finally took the handkerchief. 

“Chill. People might think we’re dating.”

Hernan who took the handkerchief paused for a moment. If they parted like this, things will only be difficult for both of them. Hernan should be able to tell that at least. 

“It’s alright if you don’t return it to me.”

They walked for a long time again before arriving at the flight of stairs to the main gate. In front of her were dozens of clean white steps. Ashley turned her head to take in the sights spreading out at the bottom of the steps at once. 

“Wow…”

Spring was everywhere. The acacia tree in front of the palace was in full bloom and its petals were scattering in the air. 

“The flowers are in bloom.”

“Because spring is coming soon.”

“Right. Spring’s here.

Though that was what Hernan was saying, his gaze was actually on Ashley. Her gentle movements, her posture, her eyes and her lip’s twitches… His gaze continued to trail. When he blinked, Ashley’s appearance would overlap with the dark-haired Ahn. But when he opened his eyes again, her silhouette disappeared. 

“It’s so pretty.’

Ashley unknowingly mumbled. 

It was a cold spring. As she stared at the sight of snow falling in spring, with her hands full of petals, she gave a wide smile. (2)

“It’s so beautiful I think I might cry.”

It reminded her of a woman who smiled as if she was crying at the sight of an ordinary rainbow. 

‘Ahn.’

Was the girl from back then smiling with a completely different expression? 

‘Seriously, are we even the same person?’

Instead of covering his face, this time, Hernan grimaced with his entire face. 

It was the first time he had ever seen her smile like that. Or perhaps he had once before long ago but only from afar. She looked like a pear flower in bloom.

“Do you remember?”

“What?”

“Back when the princess met me as ‘Ahn’. You were smiling with a different expression back then.”

A violent typhoon was swirling in his heart. 

“Ah… I remember. You saved me, didn’t you?’

The smiling girl added.

“…..”

He had never expected that he would be able to witness her smile like this.

“Why? I only recall bits and pieces of it but I think that’s what happened.”

“… Bits and pieces?”

“I-It’s nothing.”

Her light golden hair fluttered in the wind like a flag. For some reason, recalling what happened that day for her felt like flipping through a photo album from a decade ago. The girl lowered her gaze and stared at the floor for no reason before quietly lowering his head. 

The spring breeze gently swept over her hair. It felt warm. At the sight of spring fast approaching, she watched the petals falling from afar. 

‘For no reason at all, I feel disappointed and refreshed at the same time.’

She felt good but it didn’t feel like she should smile. As she shook off the strange suffocating feeling that kept chasing her, Ashley grinned. 

‘I’m sure it’s nothing.’

Other than this suffocating feeling, there was still too much to think about. Envoys from countries from all over the world would be visiting soon. There will also be envoys from Rusbella’s country. The day she would have to meet the desert princess again was approaching.

Ashley was still carrying the diary around. For the girl who lost her memories, misfortune was fast approaching, giving her no time to enjoy spring. 

“Didn’t you hate me?”

Ashley stared at a distance. She was staring blankly at the falling petals but there was no point for her to focus on.

‘Why does he look so desperate!’

The man looked as desperate as a man on the edge of a cliff but he didn’t seem to realise what he looked like. 

He stood next to Castor who had come to kill her but that alone could not be the reason for her hatred.

Anyway, wasn’t he the person who saved her from falling debris? 

‘Why did I hate Hernan?’

Why was she trembling as she rejected him back then… When she tried to think about it again, her vision grew dim. 

She was unconsciously erasing anything related to her deaths. Which was why she had forgotten about her hatred for Hernan. And the more she thought about it, the more her thoughts clouded over. 

Ashley was presently forcibly erasing any pieces of memories related to her deaths that resurfaced.

‘Did I hate him? Rather than hating him…!’

T/N:

(1): Castor was comfortable enough to stick out his tongue during practice even though he barely practised

(2): Before this, Ashley had always spoken informally to Hernan! It was only on this occasion did she speak formally. 

(3): Not sure if this is obvious but the snow here is referring to the petals. Snow wasn’t even in quotes so I decided not to include quotes as well!