Don't Concern Yourself With That Book

Chapter 181

Translator: yun

When Ashley left Amor’s palace, it was just past noon.

‘It’s quiet around here. It must be because the maids had been avoiding me in advance.’

The girl gave a bitter smile. It didn’t feel really good to know that people knew where she was at any time. 

And Castor was the one who spotlighted her existence the most. 

“You’re getting better at this.”

His presence had always reminded Ashley of her harsh and troubled life. 

And once again, she was getting goosebumps from the hand which was holding her waist gently yet firmly. 

“I’m happy to know that I’m improving.”

Under the chilling atmosphere, they parted. 

“It must be because my patronus is already so talented, right?”

One of the things she learned about him within this short period of time was that he was very busy. Even in the midst of practice, he would be looking over a templar’s work. 

Whenever Castor looked over some documents seriously, Ashley would get chills. In front of her was a man who once pointed a sword at her but the madness he had in his eyes back then had disappeared. Now, he was just a man with an amazing enough figure to look like a painting. 

Surprisingly, he looked sane. 

“You’re with me but you’re feeling happy…”

Ashley was planning on disappearing after the dance but she could not dare to ignore his words. 

Ashley still believed that with one wrong move, he would draw his sword. Hearing the rumours from the Crown Prince’s palace has made her certain of it. 

“No one can hide their expressions around me. You always look so gleeful and smile so happily.”

In the blink of an eye, Ashley almost aggressively spat out words that quickly rose to her mouth. 

Who? Why would anyone think she looks happy!

Shouldn’t her expression look sour?

As Ashley hesitated because she couldn’t find anything to say in reply, Castor kissed her hand.

“Let’s just go.”

“… Yes.”

Castor had always been the one to turn his back on her first. Once again, the hem of that man’s clothes inflated like a balloon. (1)

“Hernan. Please escort my Ashley out.”

He left the hall. 

“… As you wish.”

However, though it was only for a moment, Ashley saw it clearly. The white-haired duke who had been leaning against the wall exchanged gazes with Castor. 

‘Am I overthinking things?’

In the tense atmosphere, Ashley could only blink her eyes and slowly fixed her shawl. 

The nicknames Castor had included the ‘bloodthirsty Crown Prince’ and the ‘soon-to-be tyrant’ because not a day went by without him spilling blood. But why hasn’t she seen that side of him once since she arrived? 

Ashley captured the back of the figure walking away in front of her. 

‘If it’s the duke, he’d know.’

Castor’s oldest friend and his only guardian knight who was loyal to him. Would the cliche-like loyalty in the original novel stay true and would he tell her anything? 

‘That can’t be true.’

Was it because she was so lost in thought? Ashley took a step forward without paying attention to the stairs in front of her. With a falter, her slender body tilted immensely and gave into gravity. 

“Are you alright?”

Ashley’s eyes widened and she let out a gasp when she felt the firm body that was supporting her. 

When she looked down, she could see the long flight of stairs.

“You must be careful.”

The duke smiled gently. As he let go of her, he looked like a large beast with his languid movements. 

‘He was warm.’

If it had been two days ago, his face would have turned red for a while because he was shy but she could not see that expression anywhere on his face. His blue eyes seemed to have a dangerous glint. 

“Princess, I’m not feeling well today so I might be a little rough around the edges.”

A warning signal was going off in her heart and it was shining red. 

“… Are you feeling sick anywhere?”

“It’s a common pain. You don’t have to worry about it.”

The duke was speaking softly and tenderly but also firmly as if he was drawing boundaries.

“Well, you don’t look alright. Your body was burning.”

His eyes were bulging and looked bloodshot. His bulging veins and the tense muscles in his neck. He was holding himself back. 

“… I’m alright. No, I’m not alright. Could you stay next to me for a moment?”

“Me?”

“Yes. It’s nothing dangerous. I’m just suppressing my natural instincts.”

Then, he smiled faintly.

“… Please don’t avoid me.”

He sounded so pitiful.

“… I have no reason to avoid you. Still, is it really, alright? I think we should at least call for a cleric…”

Hernandez shook his head as he held onto Ashley’s wrist with much difficulty. If he spoke like that, it was hard for her to add anything else but he really didn’t look good. 

Ashley hesitated before wiping his forehead with the ends of the shawl she had been carefully holding. 

“Excuse me, could you let go of my hand?”

“Wait, hold on a little… Please stay like this for a while”

Within his sky-blue eyes, an unusual purple mist soaked his irises as if flames were eating his eyes. 

A little while after, the man still looked pale and pain-stricken but his expression did clear up. He looked up and apologised. She shook her head. Because she didn’t think that it was necessary for him to apologise.

He looked tired but he managed to show a bitter smile after a grimace. 

“I am the Templar of Beasts. So, I can tell from my instincts. When the princess first saw me and even when you forced me away, I had known.”

“Known what?”

“That you hated me.”

When Ashley did not deny it, he smiled sadly. 

“I already knew that you didn’t even want to see my face. I could tell from my instincts.”

“I see. As expected of a templar.”

Hernan held Ashley’s hand. 

“But you’re not feeling anything now.”

“… Isn’t that, a good thing?”

“No. It’s strange. That’s what my gut is telling me.”

Then, he pulled it. She could barely breathe in his embrace but instead of blaming him, Ashley chose to look up at him. 

“Uh, h-hold on.”

“Why am I feeling sad that you don’t hate me anymore?”

When she saw his face, it collapsed into sorrow as if the red below his eyes was blooming sadly and enchantingly. 

With questions and a feeling that she could not comprehend, Ashley stared at him.

“… Duke?”

“Won’t you call me by my name now?”

Looking like he was neither crying nor laughing, his expression blurred as he wept. 

Then, he raised his head and smiled awkwardly but he just couldn’t smile. 

“If I become someone who means nothing to you, I’d rather you just hate me. Please just hate me.”

Ashley thought he looked pitiful.

“I don’t want to be someone who means nothing to you…”

The warmth of his moist hands on her made her heart tingle for some reason. 

“Princess.”

Ashley glanced at the man’s hand which looked ambiguous. He was neither holding her nor not holding her. 

‘What does this person want me to say?’

She stared at him for a moment before turning her attention back to the dazzling scenery. His hair was as white as snow. And the wrinkles on her forehead that did not seem to match his soft and tender face. But for some reason, she wasn’t unfamiliar with the sight. 

‘Have we ever faced each other like this?’

To be honest, she hadn’t noticed the distance between them. No, what was the distance she should accept and how far should she allow him to come near? It seemed like she had just lost all her standards.

While she was flustered because she didn’t know the reason, Hernan continued to call her ‘Princess, princess’ so sadly. 

When it came to love, she was immature and clumsy but it was not as if she had never experienced it before. There was a time when she liked so much she was happy enough just staring at that person’s back. 

And within the eyes of the man who was looking at her, she could see herself laughing and crying.

‘Ah…’

Torn, the girl hesitated before making a choice. She decided to turn a blind eye.

“Can I leave first?”

She couldn’t answer the emotions he couldn’t say.

The duke could not manage to catch the girl who passed him by.

She had no clue why he didn’t continue holding her after looking at her so desperately but she didn’t want to try to understand. 

Eventually, she left the palace by herself. The sun was still setting outside. At dusk, the wind felt a little chilly but her sweat managed to dry. 

‘If I catch a cold before I perform on stage, I’ll be in big trouble.’

She didn’t need to worry because her dance was improving and her stage was close to completion. And sooner or later, she would be able to see the completed dress.

Ashley stopped mid-walk. 

But she wondered why. Why did her heart feel so empty? 

The task she had been assigned to do was to finish the stage safely without any big problems. And the preparations had been perfect.

She couldn’t help but to become Castor’s patronus because of Rebecca.  She had chosen to do so for a better future. 

Everything wasn’t too bad.

But why? 

The strange emptiness kept bothering her. 

Flutter.

The sight of petals falling was so beautiful. But why was she feeling this void? 

Her confused gaze lowered slowly. To the diary in her hand. 

She stroked the leather wrapped around the diary before stroking her own cheek. 

‘Why? Does it feel like the sun is setting in my heart?”

She had always been accompanied with misfortune. Her journey of trying to survive again and again was intense and was more stimulating than dying itself. 

Numerous deaths were ahead of her. Just because she didn’t die did not mean that the fear of death went away. 

Nevertheless, now she… felt empty as if she had lost something. It was as if the things in front of her were blurring together with mixed feelings. 

‘Let’s forget it. I don’t have time to worry about it.’

After walking along the path filled with flowers, she walked into a vacant lot. 

At the end of the path, she could see the carriage she rode here. And there was another carriage next to it. She was about to just pass it by. 

Before someone appeared with a ‘wow’.

“Hello, cute princess.”

A thick red skein of threads folded within itself before unknotting. It didn’t take long for her to notice that it was hair and not flowers. 

“I was just going to leave because I heard you were with the duke. You left alone, huh?”

Under the light, the red eyes illuminated by the bright light folded.

‘… Who is this?’

Despite it being slightly chilly, the woman was dressed in a very glamorous outfit which exposed both her top and bottom. 

‘I don’t know where to look…’

The outline of her voluptuous chest drew a gentle curve in her bodyline and her milky white robes fell just right over her body. 

“Oh my. Where are you looking?”

The woman grabbed Ashley’s chin before lifting it. 

The girl’s purple eyes were trembling slightly. 

“W-who?”

T/N:

(1): Basically, when Hernan got up, his robes got inflated like a balloon was what the author was trying to describe but I think I couldn’t really do the description justice HAHA.