Don't Concern Yourself With That Book

For the longest time, it had been a world no one could understand but me. I never liked the feeling I got when no one understood a word I said. But now, things were different.

“Thank you, brother.”

Was he late? No, it didn’t matter. 

“For telling me this.”

I knew that the mere fact he told me this was saving me. The fact that someone understood the world only I knew by just dipping their feet into it had shifted the stone in my heart. There was no point running away from it all and forgetting about it. It was enough to have one person understand. 

“There are many things I want to protect.”

Rain was falling in my world. 

“Things I want to save.”

It didn’t seem to be just another passing shower this time. Seedlings would sprout one after the other as the ground turned moist in patches. I didn’t know the name of these fresh sprouts but I would probably find out soon. As they sprouted one by one, it felt like I was rediscovering the tears I had lost. Step by step. 

“I told you I would save you, didn’t I? From your own illness.”

Just then, I recalled the day I ran to save Amor for the first time. That night I ran to save him so desperately. All I wanted was for him to live. I wanted him to live and I wanted myself to live. Though as a result of my choice, I had been dropped into an inescapable nightmare. Nevertheless, my goal had never changed. 

“I’ll heal you.”

I was going to save everyone. 

I had lost that 10th Day of the Month of Habermia. And losing that day alone was enough. Something like that would never happen again. The times when a day repeated countless times. 

“I’m going to save you, brother, and my people”

Until now, I thought Rusbella, the female lead from the <Light of Rusbella> had nothing to do with me. Was this world really from that of a novel? I might have wanted to satisfy this life-long curiosity of mine but I wouldn’t mind if I end up never meeting her. At least that was what I thought in the beginning. But now, I had to meet her. 

“The son of the Templar of Plants suffered from illnesses since birth.”

Just as Auresia mentioned, Amor had been suffering from an unknown disease. That was in addition to the poison the emperor force fed him every day. Rusbella had the antidote that could cure the illness that plagued Amor. She was the only one who knew the location of the antidote. 

“I know all the methods necessary. And I won’t be delaying my plans any longer.”

The truth had struck upon me like a flash of lightning. And the sudden shock had me reeling. But I would move forward nonetheless. Without stopping. Even if the misfortune pitted against me were to pierce through me like an arrow, yielding to it and giving up would be letting the god who threw me into this world and Castor have their way. 

“You.”

Amor stared at me before pressing his lips together. 

“Even though I haven’t said anything, you managed to sort everything out by yourself.”

I paused for a moment. Come to think of it, he must have been flustered. After weeping, I suddenly claimed that I could cure him of his illness. But what else should I have done? I had nothing to hide or wanted to hide from him. 

“You don’t like that?”

I said, stung by his words but still carrying a calm expression. Amor then flashed a faint smile before approaching me and bending his body over towards me. 

“How could I?”

I could still see some redness under his eyes. 

“You’ve always pushed me according to your whims.”

He stopped so that he was close enough for me to see all his pores. 

“You’ve captured me.”

The shadows casted on his face made his delicate features like that of a painting an artist poured his heart and soul into. At first glance, he would look strangely both boyish yet manly. 

If I thought Dane to be an adult man with boyish features, then Amor had sharp features that would turn strangely boyish with his words and actions. But the person that was holding onto me now was a full-fledged man. It was only then did our current position bother me. 

“Brother, I don’t know how else to put this but…”

“But?”

“You’re too close.”

With a face I couldn’t possibly avoid, he smirked.

“Why?”

I could feel warm puffs of air on the crown of my head.

“Are you nervous?”

When I turned my head around, his face was a mere breath away. With a serious expression that was unfamiliar to me, Amor stared straight at me. 

“At least I am.”

The silence stuck to my cheeks and my neck. If it weren’t for his self-consciousness, his lips would have definitely dove again. So, I quickly brought up something else. 

“B-Brother… aren’t you keeping some secrets from me too?”

Actually, it was good for him to keep some secrets from me. Because I was sure he had no intentions to trick me. If Dane had been like a cosy shade, Amor was like a tree that would always stay the same. No, he was like a tree that, though rough to the touch, provided for me generously. I couldn’t help but like this pitiful yet sweet man. 

“Did  you ask because you think I do?”

“Do you?”

“Ah. What should I talk about first?”

Amor pulled the corners of his lips up before smiling wordlessly. As he lowered his head slowly, so did his hair cascade gently. Without realising it, I raised my hand and touched the tip of his head. The sky-blue threads fell through my fingertips.

“The Templar of Beasts would probably be visiting me soon.”

He seemed to be lost in thought for a moment before he spoke almost candidly. 

“I went against the conditions brother has set to come here.”

His words forced me to stop. There was only one person that the Templar of Beasts could be referring to and there was no way any news of his visit would be good news. 

“Hernan?”

Amor shook his head. He had an inexplicably determined expression. 

“No, It’s not Hernan.

“Brother.”

“He’s a man who has lost his ego. He has no reason, no thoughts… He’s not the same as Hernan.”

He pointed a bitter gaze towards me.

“Why is he looking for you, brother?”

“Well.”

Amor looked down momentarily. It seemed like he too knew that Hernan was no longer who he used to be and had lost his ego. Was Hernan particularly precious to Amor? That meant he must have been heartbroken for what happened to Hernan. 

I had seen Hernan and Amor together before. They seemed to have a special relationship. They weren’t friends but they knew each other well. I couldn’t so recklessly assume their relationship when I knew nothing about it. That was why I couldn’t say anything even as Amor gazed upon me so bitterly. 

“Brother.”

It felt like a huge load was resting in my chest. Hernan, no, the man who lost his ego was looking for Amor. He must have been acting under Castor’s command. And if Amor was to return as is, I had no idea what would happen to him. The rare calm peaceful atmosphere disappeared as turbulent winds and waves rushed towards us and rocked our hearts. I grabbed his hand tightly. 

“Leave from here.”

Amor’s palace was huge. No one could enter it if he didn’t allow them to but who was the one who built that castle? It was a place created from greed and selfish ambition. The emperor had created the tragedy and Castor continued it. 

“Just for a few days until Hernan leaves, hm?”

I knew he couldn’t do that but I insisted. Amor had to drink the antidote Castor provided every day. The antidote was his daily lifeblood. But what if he were to return now? It was obvious he would be hurt if he were to return. 

“Ashley. I can’t leave that place.”

“Yes, I know. But.”

Everyone assured me that they would take me to someplace far away to escape. But I wanted to take Amor away. I wanted to bring him to someplace far away right now. 

“You might die.”

But I know I couldn’t. Not only was I powerless, taking him to some faraway place would not be able to make his illness and the poison disappear. He had to at least be safe until I find Rusbella and bring him his cure. 

“No. I won’t die.”

He spoke with determination. He then looked up at the sky for a while and as I stared at his figure that looked as if he could disappear at any moment, I grabbed the hem of his clothes. Amor, the 4th Prince and a character from the <Light of Rusbella> that was originally meant to die. That was how I knew this was the original novel. I knew who was going to die and I would only get anxious if that person was someone I knew personally. 

“Why are you so calm about all this, brother?”

But I was not going to just let that be.

“That’s… There’s a common saying.”

Amor’s hand swept down my cheek. Did I look like I was pitying him right now? Amor and I were a lot alike. Living through similar yet different misfortunes, we had given into them and lost our emotions as a result. It might have also been due to his misfortune that he became such a short-tempered man. 

“Wasn’t that something I said to you before?”

HIs cool smile made me sad. I knew that smile. It was a smile of resignation. 

“Fine. Everything’s fine so let’s talk.”

But I couldn’t spot a shred of regret in his smile. As he smiled under the present moonlight, he looked like an old painting giving off an unapproachable aura of nobility. 

“I don’t want you to die or get hurt, brother. I would never let any of that happen to you.”

I looked at him with determination. No matter what situation he was in, I was sure there was a way out. That was a lesson I learned as I regressed countlessly in the past. I grabbed his hand and pulled it. 

“Let’s search for a way. I can’t just watch you do this.”

“A way?”

“Yes.”

After thinking hard about it, I thought of one. 

“Hernan’s coming under Castor’s orders, right?”

Amor was a prince who was both favoured by the emperor and placed under the watchful gaze of Julian. I heard from Auresia that Castor could not willingly go against the emperor’s commands. I quickly raised my head.

“Then I’ll go to your palace with you.”

“… What?”

“Castor can’t do anything to me. So let’s spend the night together.”

He then approached me with ease before smirking as he tilted his head. 

“Ashley, are you aware of what you just said?”

What did he mean? Weren’t we just trying to stop Castor? The night was key. Castor would not make his move in the day given the eyes watching him in the palace.

“You want to live with me?”

In my surprise at his words, I quickly raised my head.