Don’t Pick Up Boyfriends From the Trash Bin

translator: baumkuchen (unedited)

The freckle-faced college student was the frank and outspoken type, his voice filled with the rough tones of the Dongbei dialect. He snorted disdainfully at Guan Qiaoqiao’s suggestion, then turned to the tall woman next to him and said, “This person is really shrewd. If someone did exchange roles with her, and the ghost was led away, when the time comes and she’s put down her load and refuses to swap back, what are they supposed to do?”

Guan Qiaoqiao’s little plot was mercilessly torn down. She couldn’t help but cover her face and start crying loudly, “I don’t want to die, I don’t want to die——”

The tall woman felt a little sorry for her. She said to Freckles, “Don’t say any more.”

When in a crisis involving their life and death, a person’s despicableness often became more tolerable. 

Guan Qiaoqiao sobbed for a while, before, like a startled cat, her sobs choked off. She raised her shoulders defensively, but didn’t dare to lift her head. “She’s…… She’s watching me again.” 

Chi Xiaochi comforted her, “Is it just in your head?”

Guan Qiaoqiao didn’t dare to lift her head. Her entire body stiff, she buried her face in her palms, only repeating one line: “She’s watching me.”

She didn’t dare to press her palms too close to her face and let herself totally sink into the darkness. She spread her fingers slightly, letting some light shine through. 

As she gasped for breath nervously, her hot breath brushed against her palms, then flowed back onto her face, making her feel as if she was about to suffocate.

Suddenly, she seemed to see a pair of emotionless eyes appear behind the cracks between her fingers, coldly locking gazes with her through the space between her index and middle finger.

Guan Qiaoqiao let out a heartrending scream and rolled straight off of her chair. Her legs went soft, rendering her unable to move them, so she was only able to crawl, shaking, towards the door. 

Before she managed to crawl more than two steps, someone pressed her to the ground, stopping her in her tracks.

She screeched, she struggled, up until she was given another rain of slaps across the face and she opened her eyes, slapped silly, and stared straight ahead.

She was looking at a photograph of a sculpture of the Virgin Mary that was hanging on the wall of the room.

This dazed reaction truly made the skin of one’s scalp go numb. 

Ponytail lady seemed to understand something. Her teeth unconsciously began to chatter. She retreated several steps, asking, “Is the ghost…… in that picture right now?”

In the eyes of normal people, the Virgin Mary in the picture had her eyes lowered. Her gaze was gentle and quiet, seeming to hold the warmth of a mother, making one feel closer to her just from looking at her.

But Guan Qiaoqiao’s eyes filled with tears. In a small voice, she said, “……You all don’t see it?”

She reached out a hand, and pointed at the Virgin Mary’s face. “She’s staring at me.” 

Chi Xiaochi turned and looked over. The corner of his lips couldn’t keep from trembling.

……Other people couldn’t see it, but he could.

The sculpture of the Virgin Mary in the photograph had drawn back the corners of her mouth, revealing a row of beautiful teeth as she stared at Guan Qiaoqiao. 

Her smile was very wide. A piece of her slightly faded lips had fallen off from wind erosion, revealing pink gums.

Chi Xiaochi sucked in a cold breath. “……Ah ah ah!!”

Xi Lou, “……You almost scared me to death! What are you shouting at me for?!”
Chi Xiaochi, “Tongzi hug me tight!” 

Wl Obe, “……Leu sbe sbeg jrr.”

Jtl Wljbmtl, “……” Pc atlr mbiv tbggbg kbgiv, fnfc tlr cfk rsrafw kjrc’a kliilcu ab ulnf tlw atf rilutafra tlca bo kjgwat.

Lbkfnfg, lc atf nfgs cfza wbwfca, rbwfatlcu mtjcufv yfobgf Jtl Wljbmtl’r fsfr.

On the face of the smiling Virgin Mary statue, were pasted countless doge faces, completely covering every part of the image that would sting his eyes. 

Jtl Wljbmtl, “……” Qtja lr atlr?

Lf aegcfv ab ibbx ja Xejc Hljbdljb, jcv obecv atja rtf kjr ralii lwwfgrfv lc ogluta, qgbnlcu atja atlr mtjcuf tjv bcis tjqqfcfv ab tlw, jcv atja Nlgulc Zjgs kjr ralii rwlilcu ja tfg.

Not more than a few seconds later, Chi Xiaochi realised who exactly had caused these changes.

He asked in his mind, “Liu-laoshi, is it you?” 

The doge faces withdrew, and were replaced with a “funny” smiley.

Chi Xiaochi instantly felt the warmth of humanity.

He said with deep emotion, “Liu-laoshi, I love you.” 

The emote covering the Virgin Mary statue turned into a big Golden Retriever and a small Golden Retriever. 

“Daddy loves you too.jpg”

Chi Xiaochi, “……”

The emote was instantly replaced with an explanation, “Sorry I could only find this emote in my stored photos.jpg”

It took Chi Xiaochi an immense amount of effort to hold back his laughter.

While standing next to him, Gan Yu gazed warmly at the corners of Chi Xiaochi’s lips, thinking, he shouldn’t be too scared like this now.

Guan Qiaoqiao was absolutely unwilling to keep staying in the room no matter what. 

However, when she left, she became even more crazy.

In her view, every single pair of eyes in the photographs hanging on both walls of the corridor were staring at her.

But Chi Xiaochi had already regained his calm.

……After all, with a vision filled with Sad Frogs and Psyducks, it was impossible to feel afraid. 

In the end, as her condition became more and more serious, her mind already reached the brink of shattering.

With no other way available to them, Yuan Benshan and the rest half dragged, half carried the collapsed Guan Qiaoqiao back to her original room.

But when they reached the door, Guan Qiaoqiao absolutely refused to go in, starting to scream and hop about and shout, even trying to break the glass of the photo frames in the corridor.

There was no way anyone else could agree to this. What if breaking the glass broke some kind of rule, or let the ghost climb out, who out of all of them would be able to end up fine? 

Guan Qiaoqiao was held down by multiple pairs of hands and feet. Unable to move, she could only let out wails of indignant grief and fear.

The crew members, who had originally already settled down, started sticking their heads out once again to watch the ruckus.

Seeing the situation become more and more out of their control, Ponytail lady, both anxious and annoyed, simply suggested, “If there’s no other way, let’s just knock her out.”

Chi Xiaochi’s eyes spun. He called out a “don’t”, before quietly exchanging a few words with the siblings Gan Yu and Gan Tang. 

The two siblings exchanged looks, then calmly walked into the room, covered the photo frame hanging on the wall with a cloth, took it down, carried it out of the room, and placed it in the corridor outside.

This time, Guan Qiaoqiao was a lot quieter as they brought her into her room.

She said that there was no one looking at her now. 

Pigtail guy was at a slight loss for words. “So she kicked up all this fuss, only to be fine after we just took down the picture?”

……Of course it wouldn’t be that simple.

This ghost had already set its sights on Guan Qiaoqiao, how could it change its target so easily. 

This was nothing more than burying one’s head in the sand, but they also had to try, to see if it would actually work.

Guan Qiaoqiao had simply relied on Song Chunyang’s Yin-Yang Eyes all this time, practically never having to use her brain in any of the task worlds. Today, she had suffered a shock, and her brain had already become mush. Once she was offered a safe place, she immediately covered her head and curled up inside, forcing herself to not think about what tomorrow would be like.

She lay down beneath her quilt, exhausted. She pleaded with Chi Xiaochi, “Chunyang, stay here and accompany me, okay?”

But before Chi Xiaochi could respond, Yuan Benshan cut in, “I’ll do it.” 

……What a joke. How could he possibly let Guan Qiaoqiao stay in the same room with Song Chunyang again?

Her not telling Song Chunyang about their plot when she had betrayed him before was because she still had some scheming, but if it was to gain a path for survival for herself, how could he be certain that she wouldn’t notice his own plan, decide that either the fish dies or the net splits, and tell Song Chunyang about what had happened?

Chi Xiaochi immediately let out a worried expression. “Old Yuan……” 

Yuan Benshan gentled his voice, “It’s alright, just take care of yourself. But you won’t be scared sleeping alone, will you?”

Before Chi Xiaochi could speak, Gan Yu answered gently, “There’s no need to worry, I’m here.”

Yuan Benshan, “……” Why does that sound so strange.

Gan Yu said, “Nurse Song is my colleague, us siblings taking care of a colleague is what we ought to do.” 

This tone was far too Lei Feng, making Yuan Benshan feel even more uneasy.

Seeing that Guan Qiaoqiao wasn’t going to continue fussing, the crowd scattered, leaving only Guan Qiaoqiao, Yuan Benshan and Chi Xiaochi, with the Gan siblings waiting by the door for Chi Xiaochi to come back out.

Guan Qiaoqiao had kicked up all this fuss, and was more tired than anyone, so she had already fallen into deep sleep. 

Chi Xiaochi was still competently acting out his role as a little boyfriend. “Old Yuan, will you really be fine on your own?”

Yuan Benshan shook his head, even putting on a concerned act, asking, “Will Qiaoqiao really be alright with just this?”

Chi Xiaochi said in a small voice, “……It’s just drinking poison to quench your thirst. Old Yuan, I’m worried about you, I’m afraid that you’ll be harmed along with Qiaoqiao.”

Once more confirming the importance he held in Song Chunyang’s heart, Yuan Benshan’s vanity could be said to be immensely satisfied. 

He ruffled his soft hair, saying, “I’ll be careful. But you also need to be careful……”

Then, he looked towards the door. “I keep feeling like your colleague is scheming against you.”

Chi Xiaochi’s eyes curled, letting out an innocent smile. “They don’t know about me having Yin-Yang Eyes. Besides, Doctor Gan and Miss Gan are good people.”

Yuan Benshan really wanted to say good people my ass, in your eyes, who isn’t a good person, but he swallowed down the words in his throat. 

Currently, his biggest problem was Guan Qiaoqiao. He needed to first placate her, before he could spare the time to bother with Song Chunyang.

If pacifying her truly wasn’t possible, then he would just end her.

But Yuan Benshan didn’t plan on doing the dirty deed himself. 

He laid out a simple bedspread on the floor, sleeping next to Guan Qiaoqiao’s bed.

He wouldn’t be sleeping tonight.

If the female ghost was going to make her move tonight, he would definitely escape out the door in time.

Unexpectedly, nothing happened all night. At about four or five in the morning, Yuan Benshan, whose back was hurting from the hard floor, after holding out for so long, finally couldn’t hold out any longer, and fell asleep.

Not even an hour later, he was shocked to his feet by a sharp scream. When he opened his eyes, he saw that Guan Qiaoqiao had already rolled out of her bed, and was crawling towards him. Her face, which had been slapped a good many times, was terrifyingly swollen, and her horrified expression shifted her features, distorting her face.

She cried out, “She’s watching me from inside the quilt——”

Yuan Benshan instantly got up and looked towards her bed.

There was a rectangular lump beneath her rumpled sheets.

Even though he had expected it slightly, when he pulled off the quilt, Yuan Benshan still couldn’t help sucking in a breath.

At some unknown time, the photograph《Person Returning on a Snowy Night》had appeared beneath her quilt. In the picture, was already a fist-sized figure, walking step by step through the snow back “home”.