Don’t Wait for Your Boyfriend in the Crematorium

The main protagonist has his own halo

“Ding—

“System installation is complete, no firewall in the host body was detected, there is an extremely high risk, it is recommended to activate the exclusive shielding feature against the protagonist’s halo.”

Ren Shuhan woke up.

“What’s that noise?”

“Young master,” A gentle male voice expressed concern, “Are you awake? If you are awake, please get up, you have a very important program to record today.”

Ren Shuhan rubbed his eyes and found himself lying on a clean and tidy bed, wearing only a pair of underwear. A quilt was covering him from the air-conditioner, and a beautiful man was sitting beside the bed——

Yes, beautiful.

He could not find another word to describe him, because his mind was blank at the moment.

Aside from the three words, Ren Shuhan, describing his own name, he does not remember anything.

“I seem to have lost my memory.” He jolted up, and his head ached a bit, “Where is this? Who are you?”

The man’s expression showed a momentary dejection, then he smiled and said, “It’s the after-effects of a hangover, isn’t it? I’m Qingyue, this is my home, young master.”

Qingyue?

Suddenly there was another electronic tone in Ren Shuhan’s head, which was similar to the one that woke him up: “Jiang Qingyue, is the host’s housekeeper. As a cannon fodder supporting character shou, he’s secretly in love with the host since childhood until now.”

Wait? Before Ren Shuhan could wonder what was that electronic sound, he was shocked by the amount of information contained in those words.

The host …… was him?

“The host, Ren Shuhan, has been confirmed.”

This beauty …… was his housekeeper? And was still secretly in love with him?

“Yes.”

…… Ren Shuhan raised his head and looked carefully at the man by the bed.

“Young master?” Jiang Qingyue tilted his head and handed him a glass of honey water, “Do you remember now? Do you still have a headache? Here, drink this to relieve the pain.”

The reason why Ren Shuhan found Jiang Qingyue gorgeous was because his skin was very white, so white that he looked like a doll. Moreover, he also had long black hair which looked like silk cascading down his back as well as gentle eyebrows. Wearing cream cotton pajamas, he caused a certain part of Ren Shuhan to rise when he saw him for the first time when he woke up.

Therefore, Ren Shuhan immediately sat up while supporting his legs, and tried to use the quilt to cover his lower body.

Is this person really secretly in love with him? What was that electronic voice, was it accurate in any way?

“Hello host, I’m this book’s Gong’s System.”

The book’s Gong…… that is to say, he was now in a novel?

Ren Shuhan took the cup handed over by Jiang Qingyue, and while staring at him, he drank all the water in it.

This man was a cannon fodder male supporting character?

“Yes.”

Jiang Qingyue blushed a little when he stared at him, and slightly lowered his head, causing his black hair to hang down, covering half of his face.

He was being shy? That was adorable.

Ren Shuhan hurriedly shifted his eyes and thought to himself: As a man, if he found such a beauty at his bed side in the morning, then it was normal to stare, wasn’t it?

Instead, what was not normal was that …… someone who looked like this was actually a cannon fodder supporting male?

Then what was he?

“This book’s Gong.”

It’s a shame.

Ren Shuhan quickly accepted this tremendous information, and sighed as he returned the cup to Jiang Qingyue, thinking to himself.

Since he is the Main Gong, and this one is a supporting character, that meant that he can’t devour him, right?

The system AI, as if stunned by his inner shamelessness, was silent for a moment before answering.

“… Not necessarily. Friendly reminder to the host: Please, keep to a civilized use of words. This book is being published in the big JJ website, and as such, the detection of discordant words will automatically get it censured.”

Ren Shuhan was speechless: …If he wants to fantasize about unspeakable things done with a beauty in his mind, is this system going to try and nag him about his thoughts?

The system was temporarily quiet.

Jiang Qingyue could not have imagined that the person in front of him was busy thinking about impure matters concerning him.

From his point of view, Ren Shuhan was sitting on the bed, with a frown on his face and a preoccupied look, as if he was thinking about someone.

The young master really loved that person……

Jiang Qingyue showed a bitter smile before standing up and going towards the door: “I just called Assistant Wen, she is already on her way and will arrive in half an hour. Since breakfast is still hot, you should eat something first.”

Ren Shuhan only then noticed that breakfast was laid out on a small table at the side of the bed. The food, while simple, was very rich and fragrant, unlike the average breakfasts usually sold in stores.

“You made it yourself?”

Jiang Qingyue froze in his tracks for a moment before nodding his head.

“Thank you,” Ren Shuhan, like a refined gentleman, smiled courteously, making it hard to believe that he could ever harbor perverted thoughts. “You must’ve been exhausted, working so hard.”

He was actually thinking: Secretly in love with me for so many years, it’s indeed really hard for you, little beauty. Next time you should just prepare yourself for me to eat.

As if struck by lightning, Jiang Qingyue froze at the door.

“What’s the matter? Did I say something wrong?” Ren Shuhan asked, with an innocent look in his eyes.

He’s not the same as the system, he can’t hear what he’s thinking, right?

“No. It is because the host suddenly isn’t acting the same way as the original host, and that is causing unnecessary commotion.” The system found fit to remind. “It’s recommended for the Host to take a look at the Original Body’s persona.”

Just what kind of person is he supposed to replace? He can’t even say thank you?

Ren Shuhan suddenly had a bad feeling.

“Former Director of Shuhan, 30 years old. International Movie Star possessing the only characteristic of a bullying President as a personality trait. He has been secretly in love with his childhood friend, Jiang Qingyue, who’s his white moonlight. Because he was too shy to confess, he turned towards the protagonist shou as a stand-in, and has ended up falling in love with him in the progress, thus commencing a Wife-chasing crematorium1. 

Quite a classical trope. To sum up in one or two words—

“Scum Gong.”

Ren Shuhan’s face was expressionless while he thought: Oh.

When he saw that Jiang Qingyue was still standing by the door, Ren Shuhan had to add, “You can leave now.”

Jiang Qingyue: “……”

The young master was acting strange that day ==?

He’s afraid that he drank some strange wine the previous night…

After the door was closed, Ren Shuhan casually picked some of the meals on the table and found that although Jiang Qingyue’s food was plain, it was all very tasty and to his liking.

He ate breakfast while communicating with the system in his head.

Now how far has the plot progressed, why was he in Jiang Qingyue’s home, and who was the main character?

“Gu Weici, the protagonist Shou, came from a troubled background. After meeting the original owner, they formed a complicated relationship based on money. His career has soared and he has now become a domestic top star. However, he claimed to not want to get entangled in love and aims to focus on his career, therefore refusing the original host’s love pursuit. As a result, the original body’s owner went out alone to get drunk and forget about this, and Jiang Qingyue took him home.”

Ren Shuhan finally understood: What a complex relationship…He wondered if his package had been unwrapped already. (He was wondering if any ‘deed’ had already been done)

System: “A word of caution: that is a dissonant word that can be mosaicked.”

Even package isn’t allowed? Was it that sensitive? Ren Shuhan decided to ignore that and continued to think about the previous statements.

The original owner spent money and gave resources to Gu Weici, so that he could accompany the original owner and [beep—]. Afterwards the original owner fell in love with him and started to chase him? Could this book be called “The overbearing president fell in love with me”?

“A friendly reminder: Gu Weici did not have sex with the original host, because the novel does not permit it. So, congratulations to the host, you are still intact.”

Yeah, I’m really grateful. Ren Shuhan thought in his mind.

He checked out his body, which is estimated to be 1 meter 90 (6”2), with honey-colored skin, a striking eight pack and a bulge in his underwear. The whole felt very familiar, as if he was truly the original owner of this perfect body.

That was great, he was still a clean Gong~

Ren Shuhan made himself laugh with that thought.

Since the Original owner didn’t have a physical relationship with Gu Weici but still gave him resources, almost like a charitable case, then why would he chase his wife in the crematorium?

“Because in the original setting, the original owner has ended falling in love with Gu Weici instead of Jiang Qingyue.”

So…Did he also have to cooperate with this whole chasing?

“No need for that.”

He was surprised. Was there really no need for that?

Ren Shuhan silently finished his breakfast and fell into a deep thought: So, then how was he going to effectively achieve his role as this book’s Gong?

The system attentively replied: “This System is the Main Gong’s system and therefore takes his needs as a priority. Multiple services can be offered to the Lead Gong, free of charge.”

This was also possible? Ren Shuhan skeptically put down his chopsticks and went to the bathroom to wash up. What services were available?

“The original character’s data, various details concerning the original plot, all kinds of skills to learn as well as a shop offering special props and items.”

“Whenever the host requires it, the system is at your disposal.”

Ren Shuhan stood in front of the sink, and looked at himself in the mirror. A handsome and refined face, sword eyebrows and bright eyes, thin lips, everything looked natural, there was no mistake, although he lost his memory and found himself in a book, this was him.  

The sink had a toothbrush with toothpaste already squeezed out for him, a ceramic cup with mouthwash poured, and a familiar brand of razor, all prepared by Jiang Qingyue.

So was he supposed to live such a divine life from then on …… every day?

Wasn’t this system of his afraid that he could be anti-social or not fit for this lifestyle or something like that?

“Not afraid.”

On the contrary, it has a big heart.

After washing his face and shaving his stubble, Ren Shuhan went into the shower to clean himself.

He noticed another person’s toiletries in this bathroom, which should be Jiang Qingyue’s, and the glass of the shower was still stained with water droplets, as if Jiang Qingyue had just used it himself.

Standing there, it was as if he could still smell the sweet scent of Jiang Qingyue in the bathroom.

When he thought of it, the night before, it was Jiang Qingyue, the little beauty, who undressed him and wiped his body. He also busied himself this morning too, just like a little wife, and that turned Ren Shuhan on…

System: “…… Please rest assured that this system will automatically block its mental activity here. Therefore, the system will not capture anything happening in here.”

Ren Shuhan let out a whistle.

This was quite an insightful little one.

He turned the shower to a chilled water temperature and forced himself to cool down.

After solving his morning problem, Ren Shuhan put on the clothes Jiang Qingyue had prepared for him.

The red shirt and pure black high-quality suit, along with cufflinks and tie were very suitable, but Ren Shuhan looked at the mirror and stared at the tie before deciding to not wear it.

He felt too troubled and uncomfortable with it.

Looking up at the watch on the wall, he saw that exactly half an hour had passed and soon enough, a knock sounded at the door.

“Assistant Wen,” Jiang Qingyue opened the door from the outer hall, “Please come in, the young master should have tidied up already.”

“System Alert: Wen Xin, female, assistant manager, is a trustworthy subordinate.”

When Ren Shuhan came out of the room, he saw that Jiang Qingyue had actually changed into a white suit and tied his long hair in a high ponytail at the top of his head.

Crap …… Calm down, little brother, calm down! Don’t be so defiant!

At this moment, Ren Shuhan clearly realized that not only did he have a uniform fetish, but also a ponytail fetish. These were absolutely inscribed in his genes and seemingly were not affected by memory loss or anything of the sort.

“Jiang,” Wen Xin came in through the door, holding sunglasses, a hat and a mask, and handed them to Ren Shuhan, “Young master, we should go now.”

“System alert: Gu Weici is about to appear, and the countdown is half an hour. No firewall in the host’s body is detected, so it is recommended to activate the special shielding function against the main character’s halo.”

This refers to the Trope where after abusing his wife until they run away, a Scum Gong suddenly realizes the extent of his actions and wishes to atone, thus chasing their lover and trying to win them back.