Double-Blind: A Modern LITRPG

The meeting concluded after what felt like an endless round of questions. I intended to make a casual bee-line out of the conference center, but I was waylaid by a combination of well-wishers and schmoozers. I handled them as politely as possibly, slowly making my way to the exit at what felt like inches per minute.

She was sticking closer to me now, her jaded facade slipping. Every minute that passed, she looked more like the little girl selling cookies at the end of the world.

Finally, we cleared the entryway doors of the Adventurer’s Guild’s new headquarters and began to head towards the apartment tower.

“What—“ Kinsley started, stopping mid-sentence as I cut her off with a message.

Kinsley didn’t send a follow-up message. Now that we were out in the open, she was walking a few steps away, lost in thought. I wondered if we were thinking along the same lines.

It all came down to an unknowable. The true purpose behind the tragedy of Region 6. There could have been a simple explanation. Maybe a contagion or monster that was meant to be weaker had mutated somehow, its effects far more devastating than the game runners intended. Or they needed to reduce the total population within the dome for some other reason. In either scenario, it made sense that they would use me as a scapegoat if the intention was to get me off the board early.

But if that wasn’t the case? If the sole purpose was to weaponize the massacre at region 6 to incite this exact situation?

Then it was my fault.

Not in the traditional sense. I hadn’t done anything to directly cause this, other than existing. However, that didn’t change the possibility that it happened because of me.

I had to carry it. And do everything I could to prevent the past from repeating itself. If that meant working myself half to death, or cooperating with people I didn’t like, or a straight up faustian bargain, that was fine.

But I refused to lay down and die.

“That’s an interesting look.” Someone called from the dark. A red ember cherried as Miles took a long pull on his cigarette. He wasn’t on in the same way as when he’d dropped in on us before the conference. The dark circles around his eyes looked more pronounced.

I leaned towards Kinsley. “Catch up with you in a minute?”

Kinsley nodded, giving Miles a neutral stare. “I’ll walk slow.”

I wheeled my way over to the trellised bench. A no-smoking sign was etched into the beam that supported the slatted overhang. Beyond the bench was an alley that lead to an emergency exit. Miles must have snuck out. It confirmed my earlier thought, that he didn’t handle public pressure well.

“The whole lurking in shadows, making cryptic remarks bit is going to get old fast.” I said, unable to hide the resignation in my voice. Miles shoved a blue-green pack of camels in my direction, raising an eyebrow. I shook my head. “I’m seventeen.”

“Relax, straight-edge. One year doesn’t make that much of a difference.” I got the feeling he wasn’t talking about the legal smoking age. Miles kept the pack where they were. After a moment’s hesitation, I took one. He cupped one hand around the tip and lit it for me.

I took a cautious pull and coughed, trying to hide my disgust.

“It looked like you decided something. Just curious if it had anything to do with what we talked about.” Miles finally said.

“You’ve put me in a difficult position.” Absentmindedly, I took another drag. It didn’t taste any better, but this time I didn’t cough. A light buzz sharpened my mind, building pressure on my temples. “Masks off?”

“Masks off.” Miles confirmed.

“You already know I fit the profile. As far as I can tell, you haven’t told anyone in immediate leadership, though I’d bet that friend of yours, Avinash—who coincidentally, is about to be extremely well-connected for how insulated he must be—is fully aware. As well as a few others for insurance, if you’re overly cautious.”

“Considering the power of the individual we’re dealing with, it’d be boneheaded not to take precautions.”

“Which means I need to keep you alive.” I saw Miles lean forward a bit, and inwardly smiled. “My guild’s reputation is already going to take a hit from what you and Tyler revealed at the meeting. Not a massive one, but a hit nonetheless. It’ll be unrecoverable if someone takes you off the board, bringing further accusations to light. I can’t contribute much at my current level, but if I’m able to cover ground on that front quickly, the simplest way to ensure that doesn’t happen, is staying in proximity to you whenever I can.”

Miles chuckled. “While I’m touched by your selfless concern for my safety, I’ve done this before. I don’t need your protection.”

“But it wouldn’t hurt.”

“No.”

“Which leads to an optics issue.” I sighed. “My father told me once about a shortcut the cops used to spot guilt. He said, “look for the person quickest to help.” Which honestly sounds likes bullshit, and potentially harmful if you run across an honest-to-god altruist. But I looked into it, and apparently it’s an actual thing. More than that, it’s so common that it’s almost like there’s a veritable compulsion for guilty parties to insert themselves into investigations into their crimes. They’ll drop by the police station, or “suddenly remember” something important, or just linger around the crime scene itself.”

“I didn’t know your father was in law enforcement.” Miles lied.

“Yes you did.”

He shrugged, shivering at a sudden cool gust of wind that tore through us and shielding his cigarette that had burned down to barely more than the butt. “Yeah. That’s a real thing. Though I’ve always thought it was more of an ego-trip than true psychological compulsion.

“You were baiting me with it. Hence, the drop-in before the presentation.”

“I was.” His green eyes glittered in the dark.

I turned my wheel-chair, so I was perfectly centered on him. “Cards on the table. I know I’m not Myrddin. So, yes, maybe agreeing to work with you is bad for me short-term, especially if I’m knowingly walking into a trap you’ve laid out. Still, it seems like the quickest way to clear myself, even if that’s going to be uphill for a while. But I won’t sign up for this, if the reason you’re bringing me into it is to clear or confirm your suspicions.”

“Because you want to help,” Miles said, voice laden with irony.

“I don’t give two fucks about helping you.” I shook my head. “Or finding the Ordinator, for that matter.”

“What then.”

I looked off into the darkness. I could see the creeping flesh of region 6, slowly encroaching in my mind’s eye. Joshua Denborough’s hand jutting upwards, like a crooked flag pole. “I… can’t get the images from the broadcast out of my head. They were haunting. Statistically speaking, someone I knew died there. And I probably won’t ever know who.”

“My second ex-wife and my daughter used to live in that area.” Miles mashed the butt of his cigarette under his feet. “I knew they’d moved. But hearing what happened still nearly sent me into a panic attack.”

“That’s what I’m saying. It could have been your family or mine. Obliterated in minutes. And if you’re right…”

“It’ll happen again.”

“Unless we stop it.”

“So,” Miles raised an eyebrow. “You’re walking into the lions' den.”

Counting the suits, that made two this week.

I hesitated. “Contingent on you not wasting my time, yes.”

Miles eyed me, fishing another white cylinder out of the pack. “When I asked you how you felt about Myrddin, you deflected. But you weren’t a fan. Before.”

The answer took longer to formulate than I expected.

If I was honest, I liked being a User. The feeling of power coupled with the victories and successes was so tangible and real feeling, I couldn’t imagine giving it up. I even liked being an Ordinator. The way the class forced me to plan played to my strengths, and I enjoyed being able to control the battlefield.

That wasn’t all there was to it, though. My limits were constantly being pushed, to the point I continuously took actions that were natural solutions at the moment, but grew more and more questionable as time went on. My victory over Talia, the betrayal of the Spider Queen were early examples. More recently, during the standoff with Roderick’s Lodge, I’d been fully prepared for them to call my bluff. Mostly to sell the lie—but there was no doubt in my mind I would have followed-through, even if it meant the deaths of multiple Users.

Were those actions justified? Probably. In most instances, my life had been on the line, or I’d been acting to protect someone. But that didn’t mean I liked it.

“No,” I finally said. “There was something about him that scared me.”

“Figured.”

“Why?”

Miles stood from the bench and rolled his shoulders. “Heard the saying, ‘Like attracts like?’ Personally, I’ve always found it to be horseshit. More often it’s the opposite.”

“Like resents like.”

“Exactly. Had that issue with my first wife. First, I’m not as convinced it’s you as you seem to think. Even if I was, I wouldn’t act on it until I had something concrete” Miles rubbed his neck, “Thank my recent crisis of confidence for that. But if you’ve been truthful, I’m guessing Myrddin didn’t like you either. Too many similarities in the way you both think. Which could be invaluable if you can predict his next move. So yes. I intend to use the hell out of you.”

Miles was asking me to play a dangerous game.

I frowned. “Never thought we had much in common, but that might be a blindspot on my part.”

“We all have them.” Miles said darkly.

“So… what now?”

Miles frowned, looking out towards the sky. “This all came together last minute. There’s some people I need, if they’re available. Or still alive for that matter. I’ll also need to cherrypick a few folks from the Adventurer’s Guild to fill the gaps. Probably best to keep this small. Minimize risk.” He seemed to release he’d been rambling, and gave me a sheepish grin. “I’ll contact you in a few days.”

Good. There was some time. I breathed an internal sigh of relief. With the final quest floor of the adaptive dungeon tomorrow, and the rendezvous with the suits directly after, my schedule was swamped. And for any interaction with Miles, I’d need to be at the absolute top of my game.

“Looking forward to it.”