Dream Breaker
Chapter 9.1
Graduate(9) - I Don't Like Swimmers
Song Seon-young's middle school and high school life was not particularly different or extraordinary compared to other female students.
It was just that,
"Seon-young."
"What?"
"Do you have a boyfriend?"
There were many opportunities for youth and romance to bloom.
"I don't."
The reason why boys were always attracted to her, who had long and slender legs like a model, was because of her appearance.
"Ah! Then let's go watch a movie together..."
"Sorry. I'm busy."
"It doesn't have to be today! I'll adjust to your schedule!"
"Sorry. I'm busy every day."
"Ah, I see."
And every time, Song Seon-young's answer was the same.
A boyfriend?
She hadn't even thought about it until she saw the results of the aptitude test administered at the end of her senior year in high school.
"Seon-young, be honest with me. What about me do you not like?"
"Your aptitude."
"Aptitude? We haven't taken the aptitude test yet, so we don't know."
"That's why I don't like it."
"What do you mean...?"
"Let me explain again. I don't like you because I don't know your aptitude."
"Ah..."
The standard for 'adulthood' varies slightly from country to country, but generally, aptitude tests are taken around 19 years old.
In other words, you can't know your aptitude before you become an adult. What you're good at, and what you'll end up doing.
"Still, date me! When we become seniors, we'll know our aptitude-"
"Sorry. I'll think about it later."
"......"
"Don't worry about it. It's just me being sensitive. Try meeting a normal girl who isn't sensitive."
Some people enjoy their teenage years and break up when they find out their partner's aptitude is not to their liking, but Song Seon-young couldn't do that.
She had a personality that once she opened her heart, she opened it wide!
So, the possibility of her 'first boyfriend' becoming her husband was quite high.
'I should be careful.'
Her assumption that she couldn't break up was hasty, but it's normal to be cautious about a spouse's aptitude. Many unmarried people in their 20s check their partner's aptitude first when they find someone they like.
Why?
In a capitalist society, unpopular jobs are often associated with poverty.
"She got dumped again."
"I knew she would."
"Seon-young is too much."
"It's because of her aptitude..."
Regardless of what the boys around her were gossiping about, Song Seon-young's thoughts remained unchanged.
And she worried about her own aptitude more than her future spouse's.
'Please!'
She wanted to avoid anything related to physical education!
After taking the aptitude test in the school gym, she desperately prayed while waiting for the results like her friends.
"Number 12, Song Seon-young."
"Yes."
She unfolded the contents of the envelope handed to her by her homeroom teacher.
Swish-
"Ah, no..."
「Swimmer」
The one thing she desperately wanted to avoid, physical education, appeared.
* * *
"...So I killed myself."
Song Seon-young's monologue, standing precariously on the railing of the school rooftop, finally ended.
"Huh? Is it really over?"
"Yeah. What more explanation and digression do we need here?"
"Summing up your explanation, which included the unnecessary digression about being popular with guys, you killed yourself because you didn't like your aptitude."
"That's right."
"Is that a serious enough problem to exchange for your one and only life?"
"Yes!"
"Hmm..."
I couldn't understand Song Seon-young's thoughts.
When I got "shaman" as my aptitude, I was at a loss for how to live, and that hasn't changed, but I never thought about giving up my life.
"Just one question."
"Go ahead."
"You're on your fifth suicide attempt, aren't you scared?"
I could never do it. When jumping off the school rooftop, it would hurt so much when I hit the ground that I would die.
Song Seon-young answered my question in a sulky tone.
"Not at all."
"Not at all?"
"Ah! Don't get me wrong. I was scared at first too. But after knowing that I could go back to the past like this, it doesn't bother me."
"Still, it must be painful enough to die."
"It didn't hurt?"
"Huh?"
"When you jump off the rooftop, you lose consciousness before you hit the ground."
"Aha!"
So, she goes back to the past without even having time to feel the pain?
Anyway, I understood why Song Seon-young could easily decide to commit suicide.
"I have a question too."
"Go ahead."
"Why do you think I've committed suicide five times?"
"Huh? Well..."
I was starting to get confused too.
"You're wrong."
"Then is it the sixth time...?"
"You got it completely wrong. I've committed suicide 42 times."
"......"
I understood very well why she could easily dismiss her suicide attempts.
* * *
What happens to people when they die?
Since ancient times, people have feared death and made various claims.
First, the cycle of endless life and death, known as reincarnation.
Second, only the chosen ones are reborn in another world, known as transmigration.
Third, after being judged, living forever in heaven or hell, known as resurrection.
Fourth, like an electronic device with its power turned off, all activity ceases, known as the end.
Fifth...
Eventually, there were even people who denied the existence of the world and life itself!
In other words, views on human afterlife vary greatly depending on personal values and religion.
My thoughts?
'When you die, it's over.'
Humans.
I don't assign any special meaning to this primate, mammal.
However, without any clear evidence, my thoughts are nothing more than one opinion.
But then-
"Damn occult."
Even I, who respect and accept others' opinions, had a hard time accepting Song Seon-young's phenomenon.
"Occult?"
"It's too unfair."
"What is?"
"Think about it. If you've returned to the past by committing suicide, what happens to the world where you're gone after you commit suicide?"
"It would disappear."
Song Seon-young answered my serious question nonchalantly.
"...What about the law of conservation of energy?"
"I've heard of it."
"It's the law that states that the total amount of energy before and after a conversion is always constant when energy is converted into other energy."
"So what?"
"If all the mass of the universe disappears and turns into energy-"
"Stop~!"
Suddenly, Song Seon-young screamed, covering both ears with her palms.
"Why?! What's wrong?!"
"Sorry. I just hate science."
"......"
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