Dungeon Farming: Reborn as a Dungeon Lord, cultivating life inside a cave.

"PLATE! DIDN'T YOU PROMISE TO NOT DO IT AGAIN!?"

"I didn't do anything! It's your boyfriend's fault this time!"

"Boyf-JACK!? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!?"

"Bia, let's sit down and talk slowly or else you will end up joining your brother in the Dreamland."

With our three person gag finished, or is it a four person? should I count the fainted one??

Anyway, with this matter finished, it was time to talk about what really mattered! cooki- no! The orc army invasion!

"First let me talk about yesterday night. I was on my room peacefully sleeping when -"

"Let me guess, you had a nightmare about the world collapse?"

"No."

"Then, your sleep was interrupted by a group of exotic beauties asking for a place to sleep?"

"Yes."

"How about- wait, yes???"

"Yeah, you are right, some girls appeared in my door steps...well, cave entrance..."

"Who were they? What happened?"

"What, are you going to stop guessing now? You were going so well..."

"All right Plate, I am sorry, I will properly listen this time, so please explain."

"Good, please don't interrupt me again, for once the situation is serious. As you have guessed, I was awaken by a group of exotic beauties which in this case translate to elven girls plus a group of children."

"A group of children!? Did they r-....ok I will stay quiet...."

"I was also really confused when I met them. There were 3 armed girls plus a priest and another ten or so children behind them. Two of the armed girls had been knocked out, and the last one was fighting with the three skeleton lancers at once. I tried to stop the fight, she didn't listen, so I captured her."

"This story will be too long if I tell you every single detail so I will just skip to what I learned from them."

"The orcs joined, made a huge army, destroyed the elven kingdom on the other side of the mountain and we are probably on their target list."

"Soon after this first encounter, another group of refugees and a group of orcs invaded the cave after them, reinforcing their claims."

"I decided to join their cause and offer my cave's first floor as a refugee camp. So I came to extend the invitation to your village and pretty much anyone close enough who wants shelter."

"The thing is, the orcs will surely strike here, but before that they should walk around the mountain and destroy everything in their way, that gives us a few days of head start, so if you want to take shelter in my cave, we got a few days to move your things and warn any close neighbor."

"What about our far neighbors?"

"Sorry, but it's impossible, we just don't have enough time and we can't risk losing everything to try to save a few..."

"Damn! I know you are right but I still hate this kind of cold decisions..."

"Nothing I can do about that, I meditated all night and couldn't find a better answer."

"I'm not blaming you, it's just...sigh...all right, right now I need to look at the village's best interests, not my conscience."

"If you want, I can wait some time for your answer."

"No need! As you said, our time is limited so we must do all we can right now. Plate, we will accept your offer! We will help you defend your cave in exchange for shelter. No matter how big their army is, their effectiveness will be reduced inside a cave, and if we are lucky they won't even find us."

"Great! Also, any orc you kill, please bring it to the cave, I got use for them."

"Do you eat those orcs!?"

"Me!? No, of course not!"

But my cave do... ;p

"I see, well that's good, I heard eating them will cause all kind of bed effects."

"Poisoning?"

"No, fever and diarrhea."

Ugh...

"Good to know... so, Bia, what about the things I asked you?"

"Most are still being made, others didn't even start. Sorry."

"No problem, I just wanted a shirt..."

"Oh! If that's what you want, I got one for you!"

"Hey! That's my shirt!"

"But it was too big for you, I don't have time to fix it, just give this one to him and I will make you a new one when we got time."

"But it's not any shirt, it's THAT shirt!"

"Jack!, your answer?"

"Sigh.... all right...."

"All right my ****! What the heck is this shirt!?"

"A lover's shirt, never seem one before?"

"Sure did, but you are not supposed to give them away! How am I supposed to go around wearing a shirt saying "I love Bia."?!?"

"So you hate me?"

"No, I don't hate you but I'm still quite a distance from loving you as well, and you already got a boyfriend!"

"That's not a problem, you just got his permission."

"No way, no way. Just imagine! Let's say I go and use it, my shirt will say I love Bia, yours will say, I love Jack, and finally Jack will not have a shirt, meaning, either he loves nobody or is too shy to admit he loves me!"

"Pfff!? I what!?"

"You love me! Think about it! All those lover's shirts are base on a continuous loop where the lover is the target of the other's love. So, if I target Bia, Bia targets you, the only possible end for this cycle is you targeting me! No way! Give it up! I didn't protect my chastity for so many years just to be targeted by a man!"

Seeing the pale face of Jack and my indignation, Bia couldn't hold back her laughs any longer, letting it all out to the point of shedding tears.

After that all the joke fell apart, I couldn't keep my acting up and started laughing as well while Jack face turned bright red from a myriad of emotions he was feeling all at the same time.

A few minutes later all my objectives were complete and it was time for me to go.

"Well, my job here is done, I will be returning now. Bye bye"

"Cya, Plate. Take care!"

"..."

As soon as I left the house, I started hearing the two bickering again.

Well, well, they got a lot to catch up. ;p

It seems like Bia still didn't give up on using me to cause jealousy on her boyfriend... as long as the bomb doesn't explode in my hands, I don't mind playing for a bit as well.

Now, time to go back to the Dungeon. Considering the influx of refugees, I will need to at least make a few more rooms inside, as I can't let them camp in my entrance forever.