Dungeon Farming: Reborn as a Dungeon Lord, cultivating life inside a cave.

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I don't think I need to warn you guys again as you should have already understood by this point that orcs are orcs and will do what orcs do, including ****. That does not mean I agree with such act in any way, I'm just describing them as the orcs they are.

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After a long and boring speech made by our God's Chosen Hero, the party had finally started and I, one of the 4 orc commanders whose job had been reduced to the Hero's babysitter, I mean, bodyguard, could finally take a bit of time to enjoy myself with some fresh slaves and a barrel of beer.

I looked at all those cages and damn, it seems like we got really lucky with this last raid! I mean, we killed more than half the city and still got to capture hundreds of slaves!

I stole a beer mug from the table, the victim stared at me for a second but as soon as he recognized me his face went pale and with a forced smile he congratulated me and asked to enjoy myself.

"Tsk, coward, of course I will enjoy myself even if you don't tell me!"

Drinking the whole mug in a single motion, I threw it back at him and kept walking.

"Well now, that hit the spot! Now let's choose a cute one!"

Going from cage to cage, I stared at the young girls looking for one who hadn't been broken yet...

None here... none there... fuck! am I so late as to not find a single one?

After the tenth or so cage I finally found one.

"Great! I will take this one!"

"Sorry sir, this one has already been reserved by the esteemed General York."

"Then tell pussy York that General Raul with be thanking his gift!"

"But sir I-"

I grabbed him by the neck and lifted him on the air.

"You what?"

The idiot twitched right and left as he held my arm and tried to breath in vain.

I leisurely counted the seconds watching his expression changing from panic to despair.

"25,26,27,28,29.... and 30! OK, that's enough? Or you want some more?"

Letting go of the merchant, I asked him as he coughed again and again due to the lack of air.

"As you wish, my lord! Whatever you say!"

Saying so he opened the cage and grabbed the girl, pulling her out.

The girl trembled looking to the sides for a way to escape but it was completely impossible as there were orcs everywhere, so she gave up running and started hitting me with her handcuffed hands.

"Let me go! Monster! Rapist! Demon!"

Of course such weak hits weren't able to even tickle me.

"Hahahaha! Rejoice girl! You shall be eaten by the Mighty Raul!"

Grabbing her waist and pulling her over my shoulder while ignoring her protests, I laughed an start walking toward one of the empty houses when I heard the shout.

"Raul!!!"

"Oh, fuck! Can't you give me a break even during the party!?"

Luckily the origin of the shout was not far, so I just left the girl on the ground and stepped forward to see what the big baby wanted now.

"The second target escaped! Grab 8 squads and go after it!"

What the heck does a princess escaping has to do with me!?

Grab 8 squads!? Where the hell am I supposed to find a single squad who is not drunk in this place, let alone 8!?

And why does it have to be ME who has to clean up after those idiots mistake!? If you are so worried about the damn princess, go after her yourself!

Of course I'm not stupid enough to say any of that out loud, so all I could answer was:

"Yes my lord!"

And retreat again before he could ask anything else.

"Fuck! Why am I so unlucky!?"

I asked the elf girl due to lack of anyone else to answer.

"It must be your Karma!"

She answered, ridiculing me.

Well, it's not like I was expecting any answer, so I ignore it and put her back on my shoulder. After all the trouble I had to get one, I wouldn't let her go so easily!

Now, where can I find 8 squads?

I walked through the city right and left looking for people.

One, two, three, four....

Fuck that shit! If I can't find it, I will just these guys to find it for me!

"You four! State your name!"

"Runik!"

"Reik!"

"Roik"

"Ralik"

"All right Rik brothers, I got a mission for you! If you do this mission right, I will promote you to squad leader!"

"""Yes, sir!"""

"Each of you bring me 7 orcs who are NOT completely drunk! You got 1 hour! Go!"

"""Yes, sir!"""

The elf girl on my shoulder suddenly asked:

"Ha! Serves you right! They will never be able to find 7 orcs in the middle of this place!"

"Girl, now that's not my problem anymore, why should I care!?"

"Won't you get punish if you can't find them?"

"No! THEY will be punished and I will simply find another ones to take their place."

"You are really the worst!"

"Hahahaha! Praise me more! Maybe I will even keep you alive to entertain me!"

"Really?"

"No! Now let's have some fun!"

.

..

...

One hour later, the Rik brothers came back, each bringing another 7 people along.

By the look of it, it shouldn't be much of a problem...All right, this will do.

"Good, my name is Raul and you have been chosen for a special mission requested by the God's Chosen himself! Now, you have one hour to get your weapon and armor ready and meet me in the East Gates! Understood!?"

"""Yes, sir!"""

"Then, go!"

While the 32 people dispersed to all directions, I, myself, went to the Shaman's tent to ask for directions.

"Commander Raul requests to enter!"

"Come in! Lord Raul, what can we do to you?"

The one to greet me is not one of the Great Shamans, not even an official Shaman, but just one of their apprentices. But that's good enough as the information will be the same anyway.

"The God's chosen ordered me to take over the second target's capture. I need the Intel on where the fuck is she now and everything else you know."

"Understood! One moment please... Here you go!"

Saying so he gave me a pile of paper with a box on top.

"What the hell do you want me to do with these papers!? Do I look like a pussy scholar to you!?"

"N-no sir! Of course not!"

"Then stop wasting my time and tell me everything!"

Anxiously, the apprentice grabs the paper back and spend a few seconds searching through them.

"Are you not ready yet?"

"Yes sir, here you go."

Taking out a single page from all the pile, he shows me a picture of a young elven girl.

"T-this is the s-second target! She was seem crossing the mountain."

Then the young orc took out some panties from the box.

"A-a-and this should have her smell."

I take the panties and giving a deep sniff...

"Hmm....Smells good! I can't wait to taste her!"

"B-But sir! She needs to be taken back alive! For the ceremony..."

"Shut up! I know! But it won't be a problem if it's just a taste right?"

"As long as you don't kill her...."

"Perfect!!!"

Saying so, I exit the place while spinning the princess panties on my finger.

.

..

...

Arriving at the East Gate, I see all 32 orcs are already waiting for me.

"Great! You are all here! Now listen, maggots! Our mission is simple! To track down and capture the run away princess! The sooner we finish it, the sooner we can join the party!"

Unfortunately by the time we finish this, the party will be over, but they don't need to know that yet...

"So, let's stop wasting time and go! Forward! March!"

Following the smell, we climbed up the mountain and everything was fine until half way up when the smell divided to two paths.

"Damn elves! Making a mess on their tracks to make our life harder!"

Without much alternatives I decided to send two scouts to each side and wait their answer.

.

..

...

One came back saying the smell was leading to a pitfall trap, and his partner discovered it in the worst possible way. And the other two came back, saying the other path lead to a cliff and they didn't dare to proceed.

It seemed like the two paths were fake, so I ordered them to search for a third path.

And, 15 minutes later, we found it!

And it also lead to another trap!!!

Fucking long eared cowards!!!!

.

...

Two days passed since we departed and on this night we finally reached the other side of the mountain.

Because of the night rain, most of the smell was washed away, making our search even more difficult.

Following the trail we finally found a cave exhaling the smell of elves...

"Damn stupid elves! After all this time they stayed in a nearby cave instead of running away! Well, that's even better to us! It seems like tonight we will have a lot of fun! Scouts!"

"""Yes, sir!"""

"Go ahead and report me anything you find!"

"""Yes, sir!"""

...

5 minutes...

10 minutes...

15 minutes...

1 fucking hour...

"Where the hell are those scouts!? Can't they do anything right!? Forget it! Let's go all together and finish this already!"

...

We entered the cave slowly, keeping out guards up.

After walking for some minutes, we reached a big hall full of pillars and some strange statues.

"Boss, I think something here is wrong..."

"Shut up! Keep moving!"

Kicking the cowards who were slowing down, we kept proceeding.

Following the smell, we entered a cave on the end of the hall and proceeded through the corridor.

Suddenly I smelled some traces of blood.

"Wait! Look there!"

On the floor there were three scout robes and weapons dirtied in blood, an unlit torch and no sign of the corpses.

"What the hell is going on here?"

"Boss, I dont feel really well..."

"Shut up and keep moving!"

Suddenly I saw something shine in front of me as the body of the guy I just kicked was separated in two.

Slash!

"What the hell!? Guillotine!!!!"

The blade slowly rose after having finished it's job.

"You! Go below there and stop it with you ax!"

"Sir, I don't feel well..."

"Stop being a pussy and go!"

Bang! Swish!

"Ahh!!! Boss! Help me!!!"

As soon as the guillotine was stopped, lances grew from the floor and impaled the orc warrior.

Seeing the sight I started feeling a headache and a bit of nausea.

"Damn, you, stop those lances and you stop the guillotine!"

The orcs fearfully worked together to stop the trap.

Bang!Bang!Bang!Bang!Bang!

"Great! You four keep in position and the rest of you, keep moving!"

I watched as they passed the trap and took another five steps when suddenly...

Slash!

"Fuck! Another one!!! Those coward bastards! I will make them pay for this!!!"

The headache and nausea got stronger and stronger and my body started to feel weak.

I looked back and saw my troops start falling to the ground.

"Something is wrong...Wait, it cant be!"

Long eared cowards! You dare to poison us!!!

Fast! I need to get out of here!!!

As fast as I could, I started heading to the exit but suddenly my legs failed me and I fell on the ground bringing down with me the last torchlight.

And then...

all that was left...

was darkness...