EMPEROR AND I

LUO MENG

HOUGONG

Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a season, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. The marks pain leave are too often scars.

As a child, the only touch that Luo Meng ever received was pain. The emotion he was familiar with was angst; loneliness being his best friend

It was while working under the emperor, crown prince at the time, that he discovered the possibility of  having touch not associated with pain. But however that still did not mean he was comfortable to have someone near him or touch him. His wounds were too deep and wide that it would probably take him a lifetime to heal.

Any woman near him, he hated. Woman was part of the identity that made up the person who abused him. She was a torture to him. She was mean. She was ruthless.

She would go for days without feeding him, clothing him or be any kind of provider she was meant to be; on top of that she would beat him mercilessly.

His childhood was not the kindest and as a result, he lost his vision. It was the kind of blindness that possessed the soul, that every woman could not be different but was a replica of the woman who abused him. Even the woman who lay in his hands at present looked like her, the abuser.

He was thinking of tearing her apart into pieces. It would feel good to shred her and watch her pain mirror the pain his eyes bore years ago.

"Follow me," the palace maid directed him into one of the bedchambers he was to lay her. In the palace there were women everywhere and he hated that too.

He was led into a large bedchamber that smelt of a woman. Women everywhere, they were out to get him. Moreover, he could barely make out much as it was dark.

Were they conspiring against him?

He breathed in deeply to calm himself. When he started to tremble, it was a sign that he was losing his sanity and letting the emotions of his past control him.

"Our Grand Consort Shu loves Li Lian, that she sleeps in the same bedchamber with her mistress." The maid behind him tried to make conversation.

He didn't respond. He was barely a talker himself.

Sensing the awkwardness, the maid added, "Lay her down on the mattress while I go get a lamp."

If only she knew the war inside his mind, he doubted that she would leave him behind with a helpless maiden in his hands. He traipsed to what he made out to be a mattress. Slowly hunkering down, he carefully lay her.

If not for her, he would have self-control for His Majesty's sake, concerning the interest he held for her even though he was not aware of it. That is what made the emperor and him suitable companions. They both battled demons of their own.

He felt the warm touch of her body leave him, making him to almost reach out to her again. He kind of craved it somehow, touch that did not have pain accompanying it.


Then could he have it? Just a little, just a little bit more. He came into contact with her, grazing her hand.

She moved slightly.

"Luo Meng..." she muttered.

He flinched away, surprised by the sound of his name on her lips.

"Luo Meng... Don't you remember me?" Her voice was soft that it lulled the inside of him to still. He did not know why she assumed that he knew her.

"Our time at the Borderlands? Your promise to marry me? Do you... not remember?"

Luo Meng caught his breath in shock. "What does my lady mean?"

"Luo Meng..."

"My lady?" He spoke respectfully because with the information she possessed, his life was about to change.

"Don't you remember your Elora?"

"Elo... Elora?"

He could not believe it. In front of him was the emperor's beloved.

'After all this time, here she is.'

They had searched far and beyond for her yet she was always there, right before them.

"I'm your Elora, Luo Meng. Your Elora." And with that she slipped back into unconsciousness.

He let her because what he knew was adequate enough to prove his faithfulness to the emperor. The heavens were with him. For so long he had lived in guilt, but not anymore. Because he had found Elora.
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