Chapter 69. Have you let it go?

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Without hesitation, Yun Hai folded his fingers, and sword qi brushed past him.

The green-faced “Changming” with long fangs was smashed into pieces at once. As the body fell apart, the whole world in front of Yun Hai’s eyes started to crack.

Yun Hai remained expressionless.

He knew that his inner demons were already deeply-rooted like weeds, and no matter how hard he tried to repress them, they would not go away.

He had spent long years alone in the Nine Layers of the Abyss. His heart had always burned with fury, and he did not know why it would ignite or when it would go out. Furthermore, he could not dispel it, get rid of it or quench it. He could only let this seed that would turn into his inner demons burrow deeply and spread its roots, and subsequently cover the mountains and the plains, both flourishing and wild.

Cover the mountains and the plains: everything

This green-faced “Changming” was a perfect illustration of what had happened to him.

In his memories, Jiufang Changming had been reading a bamboo scroll.

Those years were quiet and beautiful, and nothing had started to fall apart yet. His past had certainly been ice-cold, but there were also moments when warmth was flowing through his heart.

And this Jiufang Changming with ferocious features, who had turned his head to him just now, catching him off guard, was his inner demon.

When he had plunged into the Nine Layers of the Abyss, fighting with the demons all around him, demonic qi had started entering his body, and, little by little, he could not control himself anymore. That was why Yun Weisi had started cultivating the Heartless Dao, and Yun Hai, who behaved unscrupulously, had separated from him.

He could no longer distinguish between his original way of thinking and the influence caused by demons.

Until the scene shattered completely, and a voice came from far away, quickly reaching his ears.

Breaking through his deafness and awakening him from ignorance, just like a roar of a lion.

“Concentrate!”

Like an evening drum or a morning bell, it had penetrated his sea of consciousness.

An evening drum or a morning bell: Budd. daily call to decent life

It was shizun.

At first, Yun Hai did not want to call him shizun.

Because he had first met Jiufang Changming on the shore of the Nine Layers of the Abyss, and Jiufang Changming was exceedingly weak back then, full of internal wounds, suffering constantly. Yun Hai knew that he wanted to kill the man, but did not understand why. He had no memories of Changming, let alone the feeling of yearning for an old friend. If Changming had not aroused his interest, his bones would be resting amidst the other bones of the dead.

But later—

When did it start to change?

Yun Hai himself did not remember.

Maybe, after he had been through a lot with Jiufang Changming, Yun Hai had started to feel that this man might have had the qualifications to be his shizun once.

Maybe, as Yun Weisi was recalling his past, and Yun Hai’s memories were gradually fusing with Yun Weisi’s, he felt grateful for their shared past.

As if he used to be Yun Weisi.

This term of address, shizun, had quietly turned from a term of derision into the truth.

Yun Hai slowly calmed down.

Changming screwed his eyes shut tightly. Beads of sweat appeared on the tip of his nose.

He did not expect that healing Yun Hai would trigger the bottleneck in his own cultivation.

In the past, to speed up his cultivation, he had chosen a scripture called the Zhiyu Nianyue.

This scripture could help a person to advance swiftly in their cultivation. The only problem was that once they reached the eighth level, they would encounter the fatal flaw in this scripture. At best, they would be possessed by their inner demons and their cultivation would be wasted; at worst, they would lose their life immediately, and their souls would fly away and scatter.

Most of those who practised the Zhiyu Nianyue Scripture prefered to stop at the eighth level, because they would have already become a master. But this was, without any doubt, not enough for Changming.

Previously, he had chosen it in order to gather strength to protect himself faster, but now, it had turned into a tiger obstructing his way.

Originally, he planned to solve this problem after dealing with Zhou Keyi’s matter. But now, due to repressing Yun Hai’s demonic qi, this crisis had been triggered ahead of time.

The power of the Sifei Sword was immense, but not omnipotent. He had to choose one of two options—either concentrating on his barrier, or helping Yun Hai.

Yun Hai was sitting cross-legged with his eyes closed and meridians open, letting Changming absorb the Sifei Sword’s spiritual powers and redirect them to Yun Hai.

He woke up from the exhausting dream, and was forced to enter a mountain path in a world covered with white snow.

It was not a dream, but Changming’s sea of consciousness.

Yun Hai’s primordial spirit had intruded into Changming’s sea of consciousness in a moment of negligence.

The man who was standing not far away in front of him was not Jiufang Changming’s body, but his primordial spirit.

It was an unfathomable experience.

Yun Hai knew that he existed as his primordial spirit, and that he was in Jiufang Changming’s sea of consciousness.

But the latter had no idea of this intrusion.

Was this Jiufang Changming’s past, or was this an illusion born from his memories?

What will I see here?

Yun Hai was genuinely interested.

The falling snow was getting thicker.

For a primordial spirit that had no senses, there was no difference between frost and heat, but Yun Hai could almost feel the bone-chilling cold assaulting his senses.

He knew this place well.

Yun Hai looked into the distance.

Vague silhouettes of mountain peaks could be discerned amidst the heavy snow. The path near them had almost drowned under the layers of snow. Almost every mountain in the world was like this, and for a short time, Yun Hai could not tell what this place was.

It was familiar, but he could not recall it.

Jiufang Changming had been standing on the precipice for a long time without the slightest movement, looking at the path beneath the cliff.

At first, Yun Hai thought he was cultivating, but this was not the truth.

He seemed to be waiting for someone.

For whom?

Time passed.

It flowed so peacefully now, that it was almost as if it had stopped.

Yun Hai could not endure it, so he stretched his hand out to grab the man’s sleeve.

“Stop waiting.”

His hand went through the sleeve, and his voice vanished into nothingness. Yun Hai received no answer.

An unknown amount of time passed, and the snowfall finally stopped. Vast whiteness was still stretching as far as the eye could see, but their field of vision widened.

Yun Hai was standing next to Jiufang Changming, looking at that path that Jiufang Changming could not take his eyes off from. Then Yun Hai turned his head back, and this feeling of familiarity became even stronger.

This was…

A way that led to the Sacred Mountain Wan!

Jiufang Changming’s white robes were wildly fluttering in the wind, and he seemed as unwavering as a mountain.

Snow had covered his brows, and he looked aloof and lifeless.

He was different from his future self.

After all, this Jiufang Changming still had not experienced that disastrous defeat. He had been born with outstanding qualifications, and, even though he had come from a little sect, he had been a step above others throughout his life, standing out in every regard and never having lost a single battle. The lies and slander of others had never reached his ears, and no matter how badly people thought of him, they behaved submissively in front of the strongest person in the world, letting him have his way.

But there was a trace of determination in his lifeless expression.

Finally, he took a step towards the path leading to the mountain.

Before he turned away, he gave one final gaze to the vast expanse of the white frosty snow.

Yun Hai suddenly realized.

Changming had to keep his promise.

He had to go to the Sacred Mountain Wan, and become one of the guardians of the Liuhe Zhutian Formation.

By that time, Jiufang Changming had noticed many weird things, and chose to turn into a chess piece in order to plunge into the tiger den and find the truth.

He had boasted of his strength, and had not anticipated the end that was waiting for him. He almost lost his life immediately, injured his souls, and lost his culativation.

But he had certain vague doubts pertaining to this dangerous trip.

Before going away, he was waiting for someone.

Waiting for someone who would never come.

He knew that person would not come, but still waited for a long time, up until the last moment.

The person he was waiting for was called Yun Weisi.

Yun Hai felt a dull pain squeezing his chest, as if it had been repeatedly hit with something invisible, breaking him into scattered fragments, and bringing out his other consciousness.

A dim figure appeared in front of Yun Hai.

Yun Weisi, who looked the same as him, was looking right at Yun Hai.

If he had not invaded this sea of consciousness accidentally, Yun Hai would not have known about it, and neither would Yun Weisi.

Yun Weisi and Yun Hai were looking at each other.

Deep in his heart, Yun Hai knew: it was hidden resentment.

He was Yun Weisi’s resentment.

In order to find a trace of Jiufang Changming who had disappeared on the Sacred Mountain Wan and to clear his name, Yun Weisi had pursued justice with no second thoughts, going to the Sacred Mountain Wan. He was willing to abandon his vanity and fame in the secular world, going through every kind of hardship in the Nine Layers of the Abyss, and fighting against demons of every description. Corroded by demonic qi, he had slowly advanced in his cultivation.

Yun Weisi did not remain unwavering the entire time, not at all. Tortured by demonic qi, he doubted Jiufang Changming, and thought that the latter schemed to fake his death to get away from Yun Weisi. He also did not want to waste his time, so he kept slipping and stumbling in the Nine Layers of the Abyss, day after day, but found no traces of Jiufang Changming.

After a long time, that resentment had finally taken control over him. The body of a person cultivating the Heartless Dao had expelled it, and thus Yun Hai appeared.

At this moment, Yun Hai understood the obsession penetrating his bones, and where the thought about killing Jiufang Changming had come from.

He was reluctant to accept his past.

And Yun Weisi was his past.

Originally, he wanted to discard his memories and start anew. Unexpectedly, in the end, he still chose to return, because he could not part with them.

“I let it go,” Yun Hai said.

“I have already lost too much, and I don’t want to stumble again. He has me in his heart, and this is enough for me. No matter what kind of feeling it is in the end, whether it’s a friendship between a master and disciple, the one between daoist partners, or something that goes beyond that, if I can stand next to him every day in the future, I don’t need anything else.”

Yun Weisi said nothing, looking at him calmly.

“Have you let it go?” Yun Hai said again.

Yun Weisi did not reply, but hummed.

Yun Hai laughed.

In the end, he did let it go.

He let go of all the misunderstandings and stubbornness of his convoluted past, and it could be seen from the glance he had cast on Jiufang Changming’s back.

He was looking into the vastness of the snowy mountains, but also into the depth of his spiritual consciousness.

He had reconciled with himself.

…

Xu Jingxian and Xie Chunxi had been fighting for the whole night.

When the moon and the faint stars sank into the bright sky of the daybreak, Xu Jingxian had injured him internally, and made him flee, bearing resentment towards her and having no way to vent his anger.

At first, she wanted to surreptitiously stab him and kill him. After all, that was precisely what a demonic seductress would do.

Wiping out every enemy, cutting weeds and destroying roots.

Cutting weeds and destroying roots: eliminate completely

But Xu Jingxian knew that Changming was connected with Song Nanyan, and Xie Chunxi could be considered a cultivator hired for the use of the Luo emperor now. So, if he died by her hand, the situation would become awkward—thus, she was not in a hurry to kill Mentor Xie. She wanted to discuss things with Changming first, receive a gold medal excusing death penalty, and than start acting.

A gold medal excusing death penalty: something an emperor would give a prominent person for his exploits. Here, it probably means permission or rewards

Just when she was about to enter the door and go in, she was sent back by a formation.

Xu Jingxian exclaimed in surprise.

She recognised Changming’s formations, but this one, consisting of almost transparent golden writings in the air, obviously did not have much power left in it, and was about to disperse. This meant that the spiritual powers of the one who had set it up had almost been depleted, and even their life could be in danger.

But hadn’t he been fine when she started fighting with Xie Chunxi tonight?

Could it be that something unforeseen had happened?

Xu Jingxian did not want Changming to have problems. Although she had the Yangzhen Grass now, and her cultivation had progressed greatly, she still did not have enough strength to wander through the Jianghu, relying only on the now nonexistent Jianxue Clan, with a single spear and horse. If she wanted to have a chance to lead a more comfortable life, she could only cling onto Changming’s thighs.

With a single spear and horse: alone

After these thoughts briefly passed through her mind, she formed a seal with her fingers using one of her hands, and threw out the thin silk with her other hand, easily breaking through the formation. She stormed in, and rushed to Changming’s yard, opening the tightly closed door with force.

The author has something to say:

(tn: these are MXS’s notes for the next chapter, but they answer questions about this one, so I moved them)

Some readers haven’t read through the mental description in the chapter carefully, and say they don’t understand it, so I’ll explain:

1. Regarding the reconciliation: Yun Hai becomes reconciled with himself. It was said pretty clearly that he wanted to kill Changming at first because of Yun Weisi’s obsession and stubbornness. When he “becomes reconciled”, he becomes reconciled with himself.

2. Changming wasn’t actually waiting for Yun Weisi back then, they hadn’t promised to meet each other. He just felt he was going to die soon, so he turned his head back to look at the Human World for the last time, and waited for someone who would never come subconsciously. So he actually did care about Yun Weisi more than about his other disciples. It can’t be said so bluntly in the text, but some meticulous readers have noticed it.