Ex-boyfriend

　Xu Yue always felt apprehensive.

　　Even though he couldn’t tell what exactly was wrong, he just felt that the Chu Yi who returned had an inexplicable aura of wickedness all over him[1].

　　Anyway, he didn’t go to C City. He simply rested at home for two days. Those two days, Chu Yi stuck to him like glue, with a saccharine look. Xu Yue, with great difficulty, managed to call Zhou Xu and asked about the Christmas Day reunion.

　“It went well.” Zhou Xu said, “It’s a pity you didn’t come.”

　“Oh…”

　　Xu Yue had to find some excuse to explain his absence.

　　He faintly felt that something should have happened, but in fact everything was calm as a millpond[2]. Time flew quickly. New Year’s Day was right after Christmas. Su Yanwen returned from C City only after the New Year’s Day holiday.

　　Before his return to the company office, he asked Xu Yue out for coffee.

　　Obviously, Xu Yue did not refuse.

　　Su Yanwen was travel-worn, dragging a suitcase with one hand. His face could not conceal to hide how haggard he was.

　　Xu Yue saw him and couldn’t help asking, “Why did it take so long for you to return?”

　　Su Yanwen ordered two cups of coffee and said, “I was burned out from all that work. Took a break by the way.”

　“I heard that you handled things well in the factory.”

　　Su Yanwen laughed self-deprecatingly. “All credit to your Mr. Chu[3].”

　　Then he said, “A’Yue, I plan to move back into my previous residence.”

　　Xu Yue was startled. “Why are you moving again?”

　“Don’t pretend to be stupid.  You know the reason.” The coffee was served.  Su Yanwen took a sip and frowned slightly. “I thought I had a chance. Now I know that, from the start, I never stood any.”

　　Xu Yue could only say, “Sorry.”

　“No need to apologize.” Su Yanwen laughed. “You just don’t love me. What’s there to be sorry about?”

　　Although he was dejected, he exhibited unwavering poise in his demeanour.

　　After Xu Yue finished his coffee, he bid goodbye to Su Yanwen and walked out. He saw the traffic lights on the other side of the road. He walked into the endless stream of people, feeling unspeakable melancholy.

 If only the person he met first was Su Yanwen…

　　At that time, his phone rang. Xu Yue picked it up and heard Chu Yi ask, “A’Yue, I made reservation at a restaurant. Let’s have a dinner together?”

　“…Ok.”

　　After hanging up the phone, he thought, there are no ifs and buts. Su Yanwen is his soulmate[4] and friend. But Chu Yi… Just hearing that person’s voice makes his heart throb vividly.

　　His heart was held in Chu Yi’s hands.

　　Since there was nothing important scheduled for that afternoon, Xu Yue wrapped up and left work earlier than usual. It was a rare day void of traffic jam. Yet, when he arrived at the restaurant, he found Chu Yi already waiting in his seat.

　　Xu Yue walked over and discovered that Chu Yi had cut his hair. With his bangs cropped short, his pair of alluring eyes[5] were in full view. He wore a plain suit[6]. The clothing was formfitting. It clung to his slender waist, as though reluctant to let go.

　　Xu Yue couldn’t help taking another look before he asked, “How come you are in formal clothes today?”

　“Looking for a job… I just finished the interview.”

　“You?” Xu Yue was surprised, “Isn’t the company your dad’s[7]?”

　“How can I possibly manage a company[8]?” Chu Yi had burst into a peal of laughter before he turned his gaze to Xu Yue and spoke. “I have to find a decent job so that I can earn enough to support my family.”

　　It was obvious what he meant with those words. Xu Yue avoided his gaze by bowing his head to skim through the menu. He replied, “I’m afraid it’s not easy to find a job that suits you.”

　“Where there’s a will, there’s a way[9]. A’Yue, I want to live a good life with you.”

　　When he said that, Xu Yue inevitably remembered the past. That was, once upon a time, his reverie which later proved to be an unattainable pipedream. He said vaguely, “Too early to say that. Did the interview go well?”

　“Just by my looks, can the interview be unsuccessful?”

　“Did you audition to be a movie star?”

　　Chu Yi tee-heed, “You’ll know in time.”

The two enjoyed an uninterrupted meal to their heart’s content.

　　Xu Yue went to the washroom halfway and when he returned, Chu Yi was no longer in his seat. He felt up his body but did not find his mobile phone. His eyes swept across and finally landed on his phone which turned out to have been left at the table. He didn’t think too much, just picked it up and pressed the power button. After entering the password, he smoothly slid into the home screen. That’s when he was stunned.

　　It was not his phone!

　　Xu Yue was about to look through the address book when a fair and slender hand stretched out from behind him and gently took hold of his hand, “Xu TongXue[10], you have the wrong phone.”

　　He turned his head and saw Chu Yi toying with a phone of the same model as his. He said, “Yours fell down.”

　　Xu Yue went over and took the proffered phone. Just a look and he knew he had mistaken. Chu Yi used the same model as him, albeit more worn-down and older looking than his own.

　　Xu Yue handed the phone back and asked, “Your password is the same as mine?”

　　Chu Yi raised his eyebrows and asked, “Why? Can’t I use my birthday as password?”

　“It’s too easy to crack.”

　“I just like it.”

　　Chu Yi, while speaking, opened his phone and inspected it. Once reassured, he pocketed it.

　　Xu Yue’s heart raced suddenly and he blurted out, “Is there something on your phone that I can’t see?”

　　Chu Yi’s expression froze for a moment but then he smiled. “Of course not.”

　　He pushed his phone over and said, “You are welcome to check at any time.”

　　Xue Yu obviously did not look through Chu Yi’s phone, only pushed it back, and said, “Let’s eat.”

　　It was late by the time they were done with their meal. Chu Yi took a shower as soon as they were home and then climbed into Xu Yue’s bed.

　　Xu Yue did not refuse him this time.

　　The moon outside the window was big and round, enough to be dizzying.

　　Chu Yi’s sweat dripped onto Xu Yue’s chest, as he counted the days with his fingers, “A’Yue, it’s going to be Chinese New Year[11] in half a month.”

　　This year’s Spring Festival was early, falling right after New Year’s Day.

　　Chu Yi asked, “How are you planning to celebrate (the Spring Festival)?”

　　How exactly to celebrate?

　　Xu Yue did not give it much thought. He said, “I’ll go home to celebrate, like everyone else.”

　　Chu Yi suddenly raised his head. “How can you do that? Won’t you take me home to see your parents?”

　　Xu Yue was taken aback.

　　When he was young and artless, it was not that the thought never occurred to him. But then…

　　Later, he realized how ridiculous his thoughts were.

　　There was sufficient heating in the room. Xu Yue, who was held in Chu Yi’s embrace, suddenly felt that it was stifling[12]. He surreptitiously withdrew and said, “Enough wool-gathering[13]. Go back to your own home and celebrate well.”

　　Chu Yi embraced him tighter and said, “Why?”

　“If I take you home, how would I introduce you to my parents?”

Chu Yi kissed Xu Yue’s chin and his voice turned viscous. “Just tell them that… I’m your boyfriend.”

[1] Literally ‘head to toe’.

[2] Literally, ‘as calm as water’

[3] Literally ‘young master Chu’

[4] Super sidenote: Kun Yi Wei Lou wrote ‘知己’ ‘zhī jǐ’ which means ‘bosom friend, confidant, etc’. Fans of the Untamed 《陳情令》may remember this term from the Bǎifèng Shān night-hunt scene in episode 25.

Crazily enough, I kept remembering Chu Yuanjiang, his Junzi (Ou Jianjun) and Lin Ye from 「欧俊呈」Ou Jun Cheng’s 《基友难当》’Friends With Benefit’. That story is very different from this one but the fact that Ou Jianjun’s whole career was built with Chu Yuanjiang as focus akin to Su Yanwen’s career built with Xu Yue and Fu Mingjie was truly too wistful. Ignoring all (even ambiguous) romances, such companionship inspires envy in me. Career-building with a beloved in mind, often with the object of such affection none the wiser, is one of the most sentimental things I have come across.

[5] Literally ‘peach blossom eyes’ – considered one of the most attractive eye shapes as per Chinese beauty standards. Known to be as dewy and bewitching as their namesake. For example:

[6] Alternate translation will be ‘white Western-style clothing’.

[7] Literally: Isn’t your father the founder of the company?

[8] That he is not capable/fit for managerial roles.

[9] Kun Yi Wei Lou wrote ‘只要有心，肯定找得到的’ ‘zhǐ yào yǒu xīn, kěn dìng zhǎo dé dào de’ which means ‘As long as one has the heart, one can definitely find it.’.

[10] Classmate Xue

[11] Chinese New Year, also called Lunar New Year, annual 15-day festival in China and Chinese communities around the world that begins with the new moon that occurs sometime between January 21 and February 20 according to Western calendars. Festivities last until the following full moon (Encyclopaedia Britannica | Chinese New Year). It is called Spring Festival春节 chūn jié.

[12] Kun Yi Wei Lou wrote ‘闷热’ ‘mēn rè’ which means ‘sultry; muggy; stifling hot’.  

[13] To indulgence in aimless thought or dreamy imagining. Kun Yi Wei Lou wrote ‘异想天开’ ‘yì xiǎng tiān kāi’ which means ‘to imagine the wildest thing; to indulge in fantasy’.