Experimental Log of the Crazy Lich

Nobody expected for Roland’s army to appear to settle down here after arriving in the Dragon World.

They built houses, planted crops and constructed tall walls more than ten meters high. Iron buildings went up everywhere, and they had even built mage towers and biology experimental laboratories. It was obvious they were here to stay.

As for their agreement with the dragons?

“We agreed to slow down the rate at which the Titan Giants’ seal broke, didn’t we? I’ve already established a new Earth Elemental God, which is helping balance the Elemental Tide in the Dragon World. Doesn’t that mean I’ve done my job? I didn’t even ask you for any payment yet. As for the next step, completely sealing the Titan Giants… do you think that they’ll obediently allow us to strengthen the seal on them? At the very least, we need to have the ability to defend ourselves. Let’s not even mention the Titan Giants’ true bodies. Even their few incarnations running around outside can easily kill us all.”

That was the excuse I intended to give the dragons’ messenger. As for whether or not the dragons believed me? Who cared? This world never belonged to them in the first place. Could they really do anything about me?

Alright then, with this logic, I did sound a bit like a bastard. But sometimes bastard logic would be the most effective. When negotiating with dragons, only the most powerful would have the upper hand.

“You’re thinking too much into things. The dragons won’t care if you build some houses here. They could care less about the activities of short-lived species like humans. Even if there’s a dragon who’s bored enough to care, with how a typical dragon views time, that dragon would probably remember this matter after a three-hundred-year nap. And…”

However, when Evelyn arrived, she told me that things were quite different from what I thought.

“…Is it really that ridiculous? And?”

“And Fourth Sister is doing her best to cover things for you. The dragons think you’re working hard to balance the four elements, so why would they come looking for you? Oh, right, since you’ve already accomplished part of the task, you can speak up now and ask for payment.”

This was a true ally. Even if I didn’t say anything, she was thinking about and working for my benefits.

But one week later, a dragon still ended up descending from the sky. When I looked closer, I saw a familiar figure on the dragon’s back.

“Hey there, isn’t this my good old friend and classmate Kaid? What made you come over here to find me? Could it be that—”

“Haha! You still remember your task? It’s exactly ‘could it be that!'”

He played with his beard, enjoying playing at being an elder. His clean and puffy snow-white beard made me really want to pull on it.

“—could it be that you came all the way to another plane to return the money you owe me? You’re truly such a nice person!”

“I’m not here to return your money! No, wait, I don’t owe you money to begin with! Can you stop reusing this old joke! Are you not tired of it yet? Because you bring up this topic every time, all my disciples keep guessing how much money I owe you! Besides, you were clearly the one who owed me money!”

“Tsk—you actually remembered.”

“Ahhh! You really did do it on purpose! Thankfully, I spent a huge amount of money, hiring an illusion magic grandmaster to cast Memory Recovery on myself!”

“Paha! You actually did such a thing? It must have been fun to have someone else messing around in your head. I’ve heard that Memory Recovery is a nine-circle advanced spell that will place a tremendous burden on your body, with possible side effects, such as causing multiple personalities. Are you still the same snot-nosed brat from before? Hmm? I think I might have misremembered. You were a bedwetting brat?”

“Snot-nosed? Bedwetting? I—I—I’m going to kill you!”

From a certain standpoint, it was amusing to anger the white-bearded old man, especially since he was clearly younger than me but always loved to play at being the elder. If I didn’t prank him, wouldn’t I seem to be lacking liveliness, like an old artifact?

“Hmph, I’m still quite young. Go ahead and tell me, young Kaid. What are you here to talk to me about? Don’t even think about asking to borrow money from me. It will only hurt relationships between friends to talk about money.”

*Huff* *Huff*

Kaid’s veins were bulging as he went on a rampage. He randomly swung his staff at me in a way with which he probably couldn’t even kill a fly. After he finished his rampage, he could only lower his head and pant for breath, treating his mage staff as a walking staff.

“Besides, I’m clearly of the warrior job class… and pure mage like you wants to try me in physical melee combat? If you die just like this, due to a shortage of breath, I’d feel quite bad about it. Yep, I’d feel bad for about a minute.”

Kaid brought out a dark green potion and gulped it down. He then rubbed his heart for quite a while before he glared at me and spoke again.

“…You bastard, you want me to die of anger that badly?! Forget it, you’ve always been like this. No wonder everyone always tells me not to take anything you say seriously. Let’s get to the real issue now. You should know what I’m here for.”

I picked my nose with my index finger and then lightly flicked the booger away…

“I don’t know.”

“…Do you still have some sort of grudge against me? Will you ever mature? You were the one who first told everyone that I’m a pervert who likes little girls. Why else would I tell everyone about how you proposed marriage to Amelia in public? I was telling the truth, wasn’t I?”

“Hmph—you think I don’t know how you described things? You clearly said that Amelia is unconscious due to receiving too much shock, and that she keeps muttering my name in her unconsciousness. Then, you said that I didn’t care about her at all, that I came to the Cloud Tower only to enjoy myself. The end result was that my female students who called me ‘Teacher’ on the first day started looking at me like I was a pervert on the very next day. My little newfound luck with women disappeared!”

“…You really are holding a grudge against me for this. Are you a little boy? You’re so old already and still enjoy pretending to be young? You’re complaining to an old virgin like me about how you don’t have any luck with women!? You… you… you’re utterly shameless!”

Judging from the visibly palpitating veins on Kaid’s forehead, if I teased him anymore, he would die of blood clotting. And so I finally started taking things a bit more seriously.

Of course I knew what he was here for. I knew it the instant I saw him arrive. The Truth Symposium probably had objections to me slacking off for such a long time. And I could also guess why they had such objections. Either Bardi reported to them about me, or the dragons did, or the Truth Overseers with objections to me did.

Yet since my old friend was the one sent here to remind me to do my work, that meant things weren’t so bad. Sending a friend to meet me was another type of political consideration.

“I get it, I’ll work faster about the issue of the dragons…”

“That’s not what I’m here for. I’m here because of a change in the situation related to your other job.”

“My other job?”

“…You really did forget it. Your other job, the Mage Country Ambassador to the Bardi Empire. Right now, Bardi is having major problems. They lost their battles in both the east and the south. Halent lost his campaign against the remnant of the Holy Army vanguard, and the princes also lost Nightrain City to the undead. The Truth Symposium ordered me to immediately relay you this message to you, and they’re requesting you to act as soon as possible after you meet with the dragons. It would be best if the dragons can come out and salvage the situation! Bardi can’t be allowed to collapse just like this.”

“Jinxer…”

[You’re a mega jinxer. Your System is considering whether or not to give you a new customized title: “Ship destroying demon.”]

“What does this have to do with ships!?”

[This title has a description attached to it: “I’m not Pele, I’ve supported so many ships! I believe that you can win!]

Harloys’ snide comment and my System’s gloating simultaneously sounded in my ears. But I didn’t have the time to care about their comments as this was truly a huge problem.

I slowly paced around on a high iron platform in the experimental laboratory, a place from where I could observe all the newest developments in the laboratory. Kaid was prattled on behind me, but I was more bothered by my own thoughts than him at the moment.

According to the secret agreement I had with Orloss, Bardi absolutely couldn’t lose and shouldn’t have lost to begin with. If Bardi’s situation became unstable, my secret agreement with him would become worthless. My plan would also become impossible to develop.

I now had to come to Bardi’s rescue. The undead were still fine, as they would lack the determination to press forth with all-out attacks as long as an Undead Emperor hadn’t yet descended. The Wood Spirits would also be slowing them down from behind. Plus, the Bardi citizens had high morale and plenty of elite troops. Counterattacking and pushing the undead back might be difficult, but retreating and holding the line of defense at another location should still be possible.

As for the eastern front, with my understanding of the Holy Church, this unexpected win they obtained would sink the Holy Church into a religious fervor. Continuing their attack on the heretical Bardi Empire would be a definite. And neither Orloss nor myself even considered the possibility that Halent would lose to the remaining Holy Army vanguard.

“…Even if Halent suddenly became an idiot, his army had ten Ancient Dragons and two leaders from the Dragon World. How could he lose?”

But the fact was that he lost. Since I didn’t have any specific information on that combat report, it was impossible for me to know the reason. Yet I would have to do something to save things. There was a problem, though…

“I really can’t leave right now!”

“What’s even more important here?”

“Look below you…”

The iron platform we were on was above a volcanic area. Under the platform was a massive skeleton. Each bone was already far larger than an ordinary giant. All we could see was a tiny portion of this skeleton. Many of my subordinates were wearing protective clothing, busy at work on this skeleton.

“What is that!!?”

“An ancient Tiger God. This is the greatest harvest we received here. This is the ancestor of the Eternal Thunder tribe that they worship. Just a single rib bone is more than thirty meters long. In its entirety, it must have been an incredible super monster. Also, from the information I obtained through certain channels, this Tiger God’s true identity was probably a Titan Giant’s pet from long ago. In fact, it’s highly likely that it was the pet of Yins, the fourth-ranked Titan Giant. I met Yins back at Oak Town.”

“…Are you digging up its skeleton? While an ancient divine beast’s skeleton is indeed valuable research material, couldn’t you just leave this task to your subordinates and deal with the more serious affairs that need your attention at Dragon City?”

“…Have you ever heard of an undead mage being able to pause an undead summoning experiment in the middle? I’ve already begun the undead summoning, so it’ll be a waste of top-quality resources if I stop right now!”

“You’re reviving such a creature? You’re crazy!”

“Ha! Did you just learn that?”