Experimental Log of the Crazy Lich

“Are you free to join me in sword practice? Don’t worry. Generally speaking, I won’t hurt you. Even if I accidentally do, I can afford to pay for your medical fees—uh-huh. If I accidentally hurt you, I’ll pay for your living expenses for the next half a year.”

Diyana 1 looked at me half-jokingly. At first, I was stunned, but seeing her slightly blushing face and her angry yet humiliated expression, I kind of figured out where the problem was.

Experts were very sensitive to other people’s gazes. The hell, was she actually practicing her sword techniques right now… A vagabond with a full beard like myself stared endlessly at the sensitive spots. There was no covering up that fiery stare, as it didn’t fail to miss the base of the thigh, the breasts, and butt. She basically caught me red-handed when staring vulgarly, so she was naturally pissed off.

This really was a misunderstanding. In the past, there were quite a few beautiful dark elves at Sulfar Mountain City, so I was used to looking at pretty women with Adam. We would talk business whilst ogling. This time, I did it out of habit.

Just because nothing happened last time, that didn’t mean nothing would happen now. Previously, we would wear Semigod masks which disconnected us from the world, or it would be a human skull not to attract the attention of “victims”. However, this time, I wasn’t even ten meters away when my gaze fell motionlessly on the subject in front of me as though I was obviously looking to get killed.

The thief over there, Mark, and the barbarian, Mort, gave me a thumbs up. He most probably meant: “How awesome. People know this chick isn’t to be messed with. You sneak glances, and you actually dare not even hide it. You must be a man to stare and smile.”

Alright. I didn’t guess it. That barbarian actually shouted it out loud, and only obediently lowered his head when Diyana shot him a look.

“Don’t worry. It’s just practice. I’ll use the back of the knife.”

I thought about it for a moment, and looked at Diyana who had such an annoyed expression and unforgiving manner as she slowly pulled out her sword. No matter what I said, it seemed like she wanted to show me a lesson. I felt a little helpless, and all I could do was try to find an excuse.

“Actually, I just miss this set of sword techniques a little. This is the Sulfur Mountain City military’s third set of sword techniques, right? I studied it for a while, and wasn’t too bad at it. I had already broken away from the routine path, but I copy other people too much, which bound my own path. It might have not been a good thing.”

“…You can sure brag. The gambler also knows sword techniques? I’ve never seen him grab a sword.”

“I saw him wave the wooden sword a few times, but he practically used it as a club. Tsk, tsk, tsk… he probably ran his mouth to get the girls.”

When those words came out, people looked at me strangely in disbelief. However, Diyana actually looked stunned. She didn’t realize that she would hear something like this here. In the past, the person whom she most respected had also said that to her before.

“Copying is the path every sword technique must take, but everyone has their own path. Diyana, your natural talent with swords is actually better than mine, but you’re not me. My path isn’t suitable for you. I hope that you can think hard about taking your own path.”

Diyana’s face was filled with shock, yet all I did was gently caress my chin and keep my deliberately mysterious smile… Recalling the full beard, it seemed a little like I was wasting my efforts in trying to look cool.

Of course I knew she was using the Sulfur Mountain City military’s third set of sword techniques; after all, we wrote the military training manual for the Sulfur Mountain City. Since the Sulfur Mountain City soldiers needed to learn sword techniques, it’d be impossible for Adam and I, the two best sword saints in the lands, to do nothing for them. The knight’s heavy sword and single-handed sword looked similar, but in actuality, they differed greatly. I personally wrote the sword techniques in the military’s third set of sword techniques.

Since they were using common sword techniques, there naturally wouldn’t be too many highly difficult skills added. Since it was military-grade sword techniques, they naturally were merciless, ruthless, accurate, heavy, killed with one strike, and effortlessly dealt serious damage. Although the sword technique was of high quality, it was like a bison gone berserk when in use, which was why it was also called the bison sword technique.

And to say that Diyana was copying other people wasn’t an empty accusation. They had all been forced to learn the third set of sword techniques, and it also proved unwelcome amongst the local forces; after all, dark elves didn’t respect others based on one’s strength. However, some foolish girl actually painstakingly trained in this set of sword techniques, and eventually the student became the master. She created new moves from the bison sword technique, such as shoulder smashing, elbow hits, kicks, and so on. The ferociously charging bison style evolved into a wild bull style that used the entire body to fight.

But this set of sword skills was only suitable for someone with a naturally high talent like herself. If others were to learn this edited version, the wild bull sword, then its power would fall. But on the other hand, those little moves with little damage were actually really suitable in street fights and to take out drunkards. However, it would also be suitable on the battlefield with her courageous charging fighting style.

“Now it looks like this Diyana is even copying that silly chick’s makeup and hairstyle. Even this silly chick has a loyal follower. How aggravating.”

Alright. With that said, everybody knew that this silly chick was Diana 2. At the thought of how my foolish underling became a legendary hero all of a sudden, I really felt complex inside.

I stroked my chin. Then, for some reason, I was deep in thought when silly cat jumped onto my shoulder.

“Do ya feel like you’re outdated?”

“No. Since Diyana’s copied Diana so much, Diana should be wearing the same armor, right? I’m just imagining what that silly chick would look like after wearing this set of armor. It probably looks great, but it still feels like something’s missing… I’ve suddenly got new inspiration. How about I go find a place and send Adam the new designs?”

“…I suddenly feel like she wasn’t wrong at all in finding you to settle the score. Also, could you restrain yourself a little…”

Silly cat’s complaints were endless. All I could do was smile wryly and helplessly.

“It’s not like I wanted to. Who knew things would be like this when the Seven Deadly Sins returned. It’s probably a good thing for my soul to be complete, but…”

There was no need to finish, as everyone knew that after Hell was constructed, and after the reconstruction of the Seven Infernos, the Seven Sins decided to return to my soul for some reason.

And like someone who let themselves go all of a sudden after suppressing their desires for so long, I probably wouldn’t be able to hold back when I let all my desires loose. With a complete soul, I just really wasn’t used to it.

Having felt the loss of my emotions related to these sins for so long, I admittedly couldn’t quite stand it when it returned to me so suddenly. I lived life like a living corpse without **, but when I had too many thoughts, it was a little hard for one to hold them back. This wild thought which suddenly popped up was most probably just a little bit of trouble.

Of course, I had confidence in keeping it under control. With a complete soul and emotions, it would take me one step further in life, but I was afraid that I still needed some time to completely control my out-of-control emotions. The excuse I just made was clearly a consequent mistake from what happened.

If things had been as before, I would have shamelessly continued talking about ridiculous things and made this duel become forgotten with my antics as I didn’t want to expose my identity. Pure rationality didn’t need to be disturbed by excess emotions.

But now, by pointing out the inadequacies of an almost Sword Saint like this, it’d naturally grab the opponent’s attention. It seemed that I was a little senselessly too egotistical.

*Ack!*

As expected, Diyana still unsheathed her sword, but this time, she looked serious. To be able to point out the strengths and weaknesses in her sword skills in just ten short minutes of practice, I must have been a lot stronger than her.

“Please show me your ways, oh g-great Sword Saint.”

This time, after taking a deep breath, both her hands gripped the sword as she stared directly at her opponent. She was now acting like a person asking an expert for guidance.

Her two hands loosened up as the sword on her right arm was raised to shoulder height. This was the raised hand position of the wild bison sword technique’s killer three strikes. It looked like she would strike with all her might as soon as she attacked.

At this stage, there was no getting out of it. Bystanders had even gathered around to watch us.

I shook my head and eventually got up. It looked like it couldn’t be avoided.

“We’re just messing around. Don’t take it too seriously. I’m really weak right now— aaaah, it hurts! What are you doing, Katerina?!”

I just picked up a wooden stick and was planning to practice with the youngster when my ear started to hurt.

“I’m sorry, dear guest. Please don’t bother with this b*stard. This guy likes to randomly shoot his mouth off, and always tries to scare people off. In reality, he can’t fight. Many adventurers have taught him a lesson in the past.”

Katerina had pink trinkets in her water-blue hair and an energetic expression in her eyes beneath her thin brows that resembled willow tree leaves. The blunt bar hostess wore a majestic, gold-embroidered maid’s costume. Her red apple-like face had a few spots of acne, and sometimes, she would be very animated when she spoke. She completely gave off the feeling that she was bustling with energy. However, in that very moment, this stupid secondary female character actually pinched my ear!

“It hurts! It’s hurts! You brat! What are you doing?!”

“I’m saving you! Idiot! You still haven’t apologized to this great adventurer?! Did you forget how that Dwarven craftsman tossed you out of the bar last month?”

“Ha! I really could have fixed his Iron Horse motorcycle. How could I have known those damn goblins would be such devils. As soon as I opened the lid, it self-detonated on me.”

“Also, that mage found a staff in the ruins, and you actually claimed to be able to identify it, but what happened? You were spewing nonsense and couldn’t identify a thing!”

“I didn’t lie. It was a pink incantation: Tentacle Summoning incantation. That mage was too embarrassed to admit the truth. Katerina, do you believe me or that mage?”

“Of course I believe the mage! I’ve already been screwed over by you quite enough! Whatever legendary ice mage and the strongest sword saint in the land… Because of you, I’ve been laughed at so many times by people. I’d be truly a fool to believe you again!”

But with rhetoric like that, there was no way I could make the angry daughter of the bar owner pity me. She violently pushed my head down and made me bow to Diyana apologetically.

“Apologies, great adventurer. Although this b*stard has a mouth full of nonsense, and is a lazy drunkard and a gambling addict, he’s still a considerably good person. To express our apologies, please accept a complimentary stay at our inn for the next few days.”

But turning her head, she turned out to have a demon’s expression on her face.

“It’s all going on your tab! Stinking drunk! Wash the dishes and don’t even think about slacking off!”

Then, she bowed again to Diyana before turning around and grabbing me by the collar, dragging me out.

“Hey, hey, hey! I can really fight! I’m a Sword Saint! You can’t treat an epic hero like this! I’m really a famous person, a really, really famous person!”

But what a shame, nobody believed the truth. In fact, Katerina, who had naturally god-like strength, ran even quicker in fear of the adventurer getting angry from hearing nonsense like that.

“Haha, what a classic scene that I’ll never get bored of! Good luck, Katerina! Make him wash the boss’ stinky socks!”

“Karo, if you’re an epic hero, then I’m a SemiGod Lich!”

Having been dragged by freakish strength, both my feet created grooves in the ground, while people fell laughing on the empty ground.

“…Did I really get it wrong?”

Diyana shook her head helplessly and put her sword away, thinking that something was a little off.

“Martin, I’m really a legendary hero. Stan, you brat, ya dare laugh at me? Alright! Wait until I recover my strength, I’ll really turn you into liches!”

“Haha! I’ll be waiting for you. I’m so scared! Oh great sword saint Karo! Ah, no! I mean ya majesty, great lich!”

Then, the entire training ground erupted in laughter as though the air filled with joy.

As for me, who was being dragged away, all I could do was shake my head helplessly. Why did other people not believe me every time I told them the truth? And yet, when I was joking around with people to dupe them, everybody fell for it.

But having sensed the increasingly frightening brute force behind me, I hesitated a little. In some sense, I’d stayed at this tavern for over half a year now. This mixed race brat was the main reason for that.

“This brute force has doubled since last month. According to the System’s precise calculations, her strength has reached over thirty, right? How truly frightening. This is no way to go on. Perhaps I have to have a talk with Old Barton.”