Fake Boy

Chapter 1 – Prologue

Li Mingzhu’s mother became a mistress unknowingly.

When she was pregnant with Li Mingzhu, the legal wife came to her and slapped her face twice, only then did she realize she was a mistress.

Li Mingzhu’s father was a good orator, when in university he was the number one member of the debate team.

Li Mingzhu’s mother got deceived.

She got slapped twice, got beaten and got kicked out of home.

Li Mingzhu’s mother still hadn’t come to herself, ‘I was ordinarily dating, we were even on the verge of getting married, how come I became a mistress?’

Except for making Li Mingzhu’s mother’s face swollen for several days, these two slaps also ruined Li Mingzhu’s childhood.

Her mother had weak mental endurance.

She was a woman from the countryside but was born with a beautiful face. She was a bimbo. She hardly knew how to read, and was tricked into bed by Li Mingzhu’s father.

The short-sighted woman initially was awaiting Li Mingzhu’s birth, hoping she was a boy so that she could elevate her status through her son.

Unfortunately, Li Mingzhu didn’t live up to her expectation, she was born without that piece of flesh: she was a girl.

Just like that Li MIngzhu’s mother became insane.

But before going crazy, she worked as a prostitute for a while, completely giving up on herself.

In such an environment, Li Mingzhu struggled to grow from one foot to two feet and from two feet to be able to walk on the ground.

It was a miracle that she was able to grow to six-seven years old without dying.

Everyone thought she was a miracle, not only did she not die, but she was still stubbornly alive like a green bristlegrass that couldn’t be stepped to death.

Her mother didn’t cook for her, so she had to go to the vegetable market to pick up rotten leaves to eat. She would boil them in a pot and eat them while glaring at her mother fiercely.

Li Mingzhu’s mother had gone entirely insane. Once, she wasn’t tied up and went crazy on the street, she made an electric car break her leg. The driver had to compensate Li Mingzhu’s mother 3,500 yuan.

Her crazy mother’s leg was exchanged only for 3,500 yuan.

She lived in an alley, the neighbour would occasionally pity her, and often talked about her saying, “Oh, Li Ming… Li Ming’s mother is really a sinner…”

Li Mingzhu would expressionlessly chew on the rotten cabbage leaves she had picked up, biting bitterly and hatefully. After hearing it many times, she didn’t know whether that old thing with half his foot in the coffin was scolding her mother or her[1].

Li Mingzhu put the 3,500 yuan aside. At the age of seven-eight, she learned some truths from the TV of the landlord who lived on the opposite door.

Some were useful truths and some were utter bullshit.

But at such a young age, Li Mingzhu firmly remembered what the landlord used to say when bragging about his son every day, “My son got into so-and-so university, he earns so-and-so much money a year, he lives in a so-and-so big house.”

Although Li Mingzhu couldn’t understand why the landlord still lived in a small shabby house when his son lived in such a big house.

She looked back at her mother, she was paralyzed on the bed and was cursing at her calling her a little bastard. She understood what the landlord’s son had in mind.

At that moment, Li Mingzhu understood that studying can make a lot of money.

Make a lot of money, live in a big house, eat well, wear new clothes and hire a nanny to take care of her half-dead mother.

Li Mingzhu yearned for this very much. At the age of seven, with 3,500 yuan in her hand, she found a state primary school for herself and signed up for it.

When the teacher asked her where her parents were, she just said that they went to the toilet, so she should do the registration first.

State primary schools in H City were flocked by many people since they provided education to the children of the migrant farmers who came to the city for work, and the teachers were first-class, first-class lacking.

Li Mingzhu had inherited from her father, she was a natural orator. When lying her expression remained unchanged, cool as a cucumber, and she fooled the teachers around and around.

She took her ID card and household registration book which had her gender as male and registered her name.

Li Mingzhu’s mother scolded her for being unfilial, a bastard, a dog. She had money but wouldn’t buy meat for her mother, instead, she went to attend a fucking bitchy school.

Li Mingzhu picked up a stick from outside, the stick was as thick as her wrist, and with it, she hit the head of the bed. Every time her mother opened her mouth to scold her, she would hit the bed with the stick, carefully avoiding her mother’s body, Li Mingzhu hit the thick quilt as a threat.

Li Mingzhu’s expression was gloomy and cold, nothing like the expression a child should have. 

“Try saying it once more.”

Li MIngzhu’s mother didn’t dare speak again, she shut up.

She used that stick to threaten her mother.

But Li Mingzhu’s real thoughts were, ‘My mother is right, I have a bitch mother, so there’s nothing wrong with me attending a bitch mother school[2].’

She intimidated her old mother with the wooden stick, but at night she would cook for her, wait on her to poop and pee, and do the laundry and cooking for her.

For twelve hours a day, her expression would be very cold and she would have a bad temper. She didn’t look like a girl.

Occasionally, when she got soft-hearted, she would sit on the head of her mother’s bed and reason with her crazy mother.

She generally talked about three things.

One, she wanted to study.

Two, only by studying could she earn money.

Three, before she earned a lot of money, her mother couldn’t die.

It’s not known whether Li Mingzhu’s crazy mother understood her reasoning or not. She had been crazy for so many years, but still held on and didn’t die.

Li Mingzhu’s childhood passed by threatening her mother with a stick, going to the dark backyard of the breakfast shop to wash dishes, picking up some rotten leaves in the vegetable market to subsidize the family and managing to survive.

She used the same red scarf[3] for six years, the red colour was washed into white, the blood-red of the revolutionary martyrs got washed away. She finally entered junior high school.

For the past six years, Li Mingzhu has been wearing men’s clothing, she never went to the toilet at school, her hair was always shaved into a flattop, and she sat uprightly in the classroom: pretending to be a man.

In the first half of her life, other than keeping herself from starving to death, the second most important thing was to pretend to be a man.

But no matter how talented and eloquent Li Mingzhu was, she couldn’t fool the police.

Her ID card was changed to male by her crazy mother. She didn’t know how her mother did it back then, but at this time, she definitely couldn’t do it.

Li Mingzhu couldn’t change society, she could only change herself. Fortunately, pretending to be a man wasn’t a complicated thing. She just needed to study hard, don’t talk and have a cold face every day. No one wanted to be her friend.

She didn’t need friends, she just wanted to eat a full meal in a society where everyone eats and drinks well.

This wish finally came true when she finished junior high school.

When Li Mingzhu finished junior high school, her grades were outstanding and she was ranked among the best. She was directly recommended to a top high school, with tuition fees completely free.

At this time, she expanded her business and found a new way to earn money: pretending to be a college student and giving remedial lessons to others.

Li Mingzhu was very talented at lying.

She had a gloomy face at school, but she actually developed a lot of business in private: for example, helping with homework, helping with cheating in exams, everything could be done as long there was money.

A good student like Li Mingzhu was very trusted by the teachers, they would never believe that she would help others to cheat. Li Mingzhu took advantage of this to help everyone cheat.

A real disappointment to the teacher’s faith.

However, Li Mingzhu gradually became proficient in the business despite the continuous disappointment and intermittent guilt.

Others wrote one homework during the summer vacation, while she wrote twenty. It wasn’t for free, divided into upper, middle and lower quality, it was charged a different price.

At this time, Li Mingzhu developed a skill that could be called a human printer: that is, three ballpoint pens tied together and writing side by side.

When she was doing this not-so-glamorous job, her mad mother would make a big fuss, so noisy that she couldn’t work with peace of mind.

On one hand, Li Mingzhu was very refined like a scholar and wrote in the exercise book: ‘Filial piety has three, great respect for parents, second is no humiliation, and next is support… It means that filial piety can be divided into three levels: the highest level is respect for parents in speech, behaviour and heart, secondly, don’t beat, scold, and insult your parents, be kind to them…’[A/N].

On the other hand, she held a stick and hit her mother, as usual hitting the quilt while roaring: “Shut up!”

Her mother shut up.

So Li Mingzhu dared to beat her mother with a stick and also dared to pretend to be a college student.

This is how she met Erpao[4].

Erpao had a big mouth and his voice was even louder. Every day, he would go around with a brick to look for someone to show off his prowess. Once he came to Li Mingzhu’s door, Li Mingzhu used the stick she hit her mother with to whip Erpao until he cried for his father and called for his mother[5], the screams went on for three days. Since then Erpao became his little brother.

Erpao’s older brother was a certificate maker, he had a small shop at the entrance of the alley making certificates. He could make any kind of certificate, his expertise was making fake certificates: this last one wasn’t easily known, Erpao only told Li Mingzhu because of their solid friendship.

Li Mingzhu was a trustworthy person, her mouth was tight-lipped, and this was also one of the things Erpao admired her for.

Her fake university student card was also made by Erpao’s brother, more or less.

There is a reason for saying more or less. Erpao’s brother didn’t make this fake university student card for Li Mingzhu. No matter how frenzy his brother was, he wouldn’t make Li Mingzhu a university student card, Li Mingzhu had just graduated from junior high school!

Therefore, this student card was stolen by Erpao, while his brother was out playing mahjong.

For this, he had to pay a heavy price. Li Mingzhu bumped her fist with him and said, “Good friend.”

Erpao got badly beaten, his nose bruised and face swollen, but worriedly said, “Li Ming’er, this Qinhua University student card, can you really do it? I’m afraid.”

Li Mingzhu’s name on her ID was Li Ming.

Li Mingzhu held the fake student card and furrowed her brows, “If it’s not a well-known university no one will want you.”

Erpao was very worried for her, a junior high graduate pretending to be a student of Qinhua University, it was very risky and very difficult.

But Li Mingzhu was very audacious and bold, how can someone floating on the rivers and lakes[6] be afraid of this.

Whenever Li Mingzhu thought back at it, she couldn’t understand what junior high students’ heads were made of, maybe reinforced concrete. Her head at that time must have been made of reinforced concrete.

She went to apply for a job with that fake Qinhua University diploma.

When people asked her how come she looked like a child, Li Mingzhu eloquently, speaking with fervour and assurance, talked from astronomy and geography to biology and science, coaxing the parents to the point they couldn’t differentiate the four directions.

“I just look young, auntie, don’t look at me, my mother at her age she’s still mistaken for a college student! Just the other day while walking on the streets!”

She just lied without thinking and even a lie detector couldn’t detect it.

Li Mingzhu’s lips were so powerful that, when flying up and down, could bring the dead to life. With such smoothness that some people really believed her nonsense.

Just like this, she received her first job through deception. Li Mingzhu knew her limits, she definitely couldn’t tutor a third-year high schooler, but tutoring a first-year or a junior-high student was no big problem.

If she didn’t get recommended, she would certainly be number one in the high school entrance examination in Z province.

Li Mingzhu’s brain was just so good.

A person, who had a very good brain and got a job too smoothly, once the money got in his hand, he was bound to pay something.

Li Mingzhu read a text when he was a child called ‘Sai Weng lost his horse, how can one know if it’s not a blessing’[7].

She didn’t know whether her future will be more fortunate or more miserable.

But that summer, following the old woman she had coaxed, Li Mingzhu gave remedial lessons for her inept grandson who was about to take his senior high school entrance exam.

The grandson’s name was Lu Yao.

Meeting Lu Yao in her life, she didn’t know whether it was more of a blessing or more of a misfortune.

Only one thing was certain, Li Mingzhu, who had been heartless for half her life, before that, would never understand what it was like to love someone with her life.

Notes

A/N: From the ‘Book of Rites’, also known as ‘Liji’. 

1. ‘His mother’ is also a curse word, so the phrase ‘Li Ming’s mother is really a sinner’ could also be interpreted as ‘that fucking Li Ming is really a sinner’. 

2. Same as before, it literally means ‘bitch mother’, but could also be interpreted as ‘fucking bitch’. 

3. In China the red scarf is a must-wear for primary school students, it represents China’s national flag, which is dyed red by the blood of the revolutionary martyrs. 

4. ‘Erpao’ literally means ‘second artillery’, used to call someone stupid, here is used as a nickname. 

5. ‘Cried for his father and called for his mother’ is an idiom meaning yell inordinately. 

6. ‘Rivers and lakes’ (jianghu) has many interpretations, here it refers to Li Mingzhu’s business, i.e. having never been caught doing his business he became so bold to the point that he wasn’t afraid of pretending to be a university student. 

7. ‘Sai Weng lost his horse’ is a story about a man that whenever some misfortune happened to him, something good would follow, and when something good happened a misfortune would occur.