Falling For Amelia Manning

Taking in the smell of fresh-cut grass, sunblock, and the occasional sweaty player, Phoebe stood with her fists on her hips at the edge of the playing field. The bright sun cast over the ones gearing up on the sidelines and when the sound of a whistle brought her brain back to reality, Phoebe caught up with the other students getting ready for the tryout.

Plopping her bag down, she pulled on her guards and then socks before the cleats she just bought as she listened to the head varsity coach shout the schedule.

"Listen up!" Everyone's attention was off their gear and on the woman with the clipboard in her hand.

"All returning players need to group up by their old teams, any new blood needs to line up on the side," she pointed to the sidelines just by the goals being set up. "Varsity players from last year will go first, good luck!" With a broad smile, the coach blew her whistle again and the lesser players watched as the varsity members from last year gathered on the pitch.

Phoebe, having been the same height for most of her teenage years, watched as giants among her flocked to the center field with their crosses. The sound of the grass being picked at from their cleats was the only thing she could hear once her eyes settled on the girl in the middle of the huddle. She was taller than most, and she wore the uniform well, as if it were made for her, but Phoebe couldn't bring herself to think anything more of her. Not even the sun making her honey-blonde hair shine could make Phoebe like her or even stand to look at her for more than a few minutes. The hate that boiled inside her reached a point of no return and she found herself not being able to tear her eyes away.

"Damn, you've got it bad," a voice from her left spoke to her, finally breaking her eye contact with the horrible Amelia Manning who was getting the varsity team hyped up.

"Bad? What are you talking about?" Phoebe asked with a face filled with concern for the girl next to her who seemed to think her former unbroken gaze was a leer of affection and not insurmountable hate.

"Never mind," the girl ducked away, and Phoebe failed to notice the flush of her face as she scurried in the opposite direction. Forgetting about whatever that was, she slipped on her gloves before grabbing up her Crosse and finding a place to watch from the sidelines.

The varsity played out their scrimmage, the coach yelled a few things she wasn't paying attention to, but her head jolted up when she heard the words 'two empty spots' out of the couch's mouth. She had a shot at getting on the varsity team and the thought of it made her heart pound. Once the break whistle sounded for the former A team members to gather on the pitch, she jumped and dropped the water bottle barely hanging in her hand. Forgetting about the bottle, she looked around the field and saw that she had more time on her hands than anticipated. Making sure her cleats were tied, she set off around the track with a few others and warmed up.

As Phoebe picked up the pace, she tried to tell herself she wasn't doing this for anyone but herself. She wanted to be on the varsity team, she wanted the bruises and tired muscles and little glory that came from being on the team – well B team – and she wasn't going to let her lack of confidence slow her down this year. Refocusing on the track, she pushed herself a little harder and caught up with a few other runners in her class. Ones that were waiting for the former members of A team to finish so the main try-outs would start. The couch had told them B team didn't need to scrimmage before since they were all alternates anyway. The real try-outs would be a full scrimmage with a mixed team on the field.

As her adrenaline-pumped she barely noticed her legs starting to burn, telling her to push through when a much larger figure pushed their way through the runners to the front of the heard.

"Phoebe, nice to see you actually in motion and not sitting on the grass. Ready to make B team again?" Amelia's taunting didn't go unnoticed by the rest of the runners or by Phoebe, but she didn't respond either. It wasn't that she didn't have a good come back, even if she didn't, it was more because her chest started to tighten as she rounded her second mile. Slowing down, she cooled down to a light jog before heading to the field where the couch blew her whistle again. Ignoring the look from Amelia she was still receiving, she brushed her off and joined everyone in the center.

The sound of panting and the smell of sweat was thick in the air around the gathering. She listened to the coach as she listed the names for the first line up full scrimmage. When she heard her name, Phoebe tried to take in deeper breaths to slow her breathing down before grabbing her Crosse and hitting the field. Once the break was called, she dashed over for her things.

"Did you hear?" The voice of Amelia spoke up behind her and Phoebe tried not to choke on the water she had just inhaled on the sidelines. Swallowing, she turned around and acted as if she didn't know what Amelia was talking about.

"Hear what?" She played along.

"B team is getting canceled this year. There will still be alternates but they won't have a full team anymore. You either have to make A team or somehow pull a miracle out of your ass and make it with the big girls on varsity." Phoebe's heart began to race again as she stared into Amelia's pointed blue eyes. She didn't want to believe what she was saying but something was nagging her at the back of her mind. She suddenly remembered an email her mother got this summer about the team being canceled. Maybe she pushed it out of her mind too hard because it seemed like news to her.

"You must be scared, Amelia, coming over here to try and crush my dreams. You must be scared of sharing varsity with me." Gaining more confidence, she stared down the biggest thing in her way and tried to take her down, brick by brick. "That's rich. You would have to make a wish on a falling start to even play at my level, let alone think you could beat me. Get a clue, Edan, you won't even be good enough for A team." With that, she turned and left Phoebe standing by her bag, wishing for more than just better skills.

Closing her eyes, rolling her shoulders, and finding her center, Phoebe readied herself for the pitch. Once the whistle blew, she ran out to the center with her Crosse and found her defensive position.

She couldn't pinpoint when she fell in love with it. The sound the ball hitting the goal net, the smell of dirt, grass, and uniform pads. The absolute feeling of freedom when she ran back and forth or maybe it was the almost euphoric triumph of being a part of something that mattered to her and only her. Anyway, she put it, there was no turning her back on this game, this sport. When she scanned the pitch, she saw the same hunger in everyone else's eyes.

"Edan, Manning, center up!" The coach yelled and with a jolt of confusion, Phoebe jogged to the center of the field to meet up with Amelia who shared her expression. "The two of you will be the attackers for this scrimmage, show me what you've got." With a cheeky grin and the blare of a whistle, the coach ran off the field before the game started. Gripping her Crosse tight in her hands, Phoebe looked over at Amelia who seemed to want to be anywhere but here.

"Still scared I'm going to beat you?" Phoebe spoke up with a power she didn't know she had and watched Amelia's eyes go from soft and confused to pointed and deadly in a matter of seconds. "Beat me, and I will run naked in the streets." With her harshly directed words, Phoebe couldn't help the blush of embarrassment that rose to her cheeks that she hoped Amelia didn't see before she turned around and jogged back to her side.

Taking in an even deeper breath, Phoebe turned and readied herself.

"You've got this, just use the hate you have for her and channel it into the game," she pumped herself up just as the starting whistle blew and her cleats dug into the grass. All she remembers seeing in front of her was Amelia barreling toward her with the ball in her net before things got a little fuzzy after.

With the crushing weight of the scrimmage results on her shoulders, Phoebe headed to James' car to see if she was ready to head home. Luckily for her, James was already there and stashing something in her trunk. With the look of despair and the smell of defeat all over her, James didn't have to ask how things went.

"I would say there's always next year, but we're seniors and that seems too hallmark to say."

"An alternate for the A team, like how is that even a spot? Why did she have to get rid of the B team?" Phoebe complained as they drove away from the school with barely any traffic holding them back. "Maybe it was a budget issue?" James suggested but Phoebe didn't want to hear her. Forgetting herself, she turned from the window to James in a quick sweep.

"How did your try-outs go?" She asked with a hint of hope that she hadn't made it. A quick thought about how her attitude towards cheerleaders might be the reason for all the negative karma on her end was quickly dashed away when James started talking.

"It didn't seem to be my year either, maybe in college," she told her with her voice laced in a sadness Phoebe understood completely.

The drive was silent with unshared thoughts and it wasn't until James dropped Phoebe off that she realized what she had done. She lied to her best friend. Currently, in her trunk sat a pair of pompoms that only members of the varsity cheer squad receive after making the team. She hid them from Phoebe because she knew that even if they had agreed that Phoebe still wouldn't be cool with her being on the squad.

Pulling up in the driveway of her house, she sat in the car for a second before venturing in to tell her father the good news.

It wasn't like Phoebe was unsupportive. She's been supportive about everything in her life, even down to the name she chose for herself because of a crush she had in fifth grade that disappeared when she realized it was only his name and hair, she liked about him. Phoebe has always been more supportive than anyone else in her life, aside from her father and Mrs. Edan. The three of them replaced the rejection of her mother when she came out and replaced the hole in her heart when her mother screamed at the top of her lungs that she didn't give birth to a girl. That she didn't have a daughter.

So why was she so hell-bent on not supporting her in this? And why did James believe that she had to keep it a secret? They needed to have another talk, she told herself. Maybe if Phoebe's mother was in on it, it would help. Forgetting she was still sitting in her car; she unbuckled from the seat and grabbed the door handle.

Wiping the tears, she hadn't realized fell down her cheeks, she hurried out of her car and grabbed her secrets from the trunk before heading into the house for the night.