Fantasy Farm

translator: baumkuchen  editor: ellabells

After the meal, they said their goodbyes, and returned to their respective homes. 

Lu Qingjiu took a shower, then sat himself down in front of the computer to play some games. As he played, he suddenly thought of something, and opened up a search browser and entered two words, “Wen-yao”. Following that, he then saw that this type of fish had been recorded in the Classic of Mountains and Seas. Often classified as a ray, it has the shape of a carp, a fish body yet with the wings of a bird; an ash-grey body yet a white head with a red beak. It frequents the West Seas, has the voice of a luan. They taste sour and sweet, and eating them can cure the crazed. Seeing them is a sign of a good harvest.

The approximate meaning was that this bird looked similar to a ray, and sounded similar to a luan. It had a sweet and sour taste, and eating it could cure insanity.

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After reading this passage, Lu Qingjiu fell silent, then recalled the taste of the fish with pickled vegetables he just ate, and felt that this Classic of Mountains and Seas was really accurate.

Speaking of the Classic of Mountains and Seas, Lu Qingjiu vaguely remembered that there seemed to be many interesting creatures recorded in it. After a moment of consideration, he directly bought one online, planning to find some time to read it.

Having eaten too much that night, exhaustion crept up on him quickly. Since Lu Qingjiu had come to Shuifu village, he no longer knew how to spell the word insomnia. He was falling asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow every day.

That night was no exception. Lu Qingjiu laid down on the bed, covering his stomach with a small blanket. The weather was becoming hotter and hotter. In two days, he would be able to spread out a woven mat.  He closed his eyes and drifted off amidst the chirping of insects.

But in the middle of the night, the originally deep asleep Lu Qingjiu heard someone’s shrill screech. When he groggily awoke from his dream, his first reaction was, hadn’t Zhang Chuyang already grown hair? Why did he start shouting again?!

However, when he woke up fully and listened closer, he found that this screech wasn’t Zhang Chuyang’s, rather, it was an incredibly unfamiliar voice. 

“Who is it? Who’s outside?!” Still in his pajamas, Lu Qingjiu rushed into the courtyard.

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The bright moon hanging in the sky was obscured by heavy clouds. Lu Qingjiu could only vaguely make out what seemed to be two people lying in his courtyard. The entrance to his home was wide open, as if it was broken by someone from outside. Alarmed, Lu Qingjiu immediately realised that burglars had entered his home. He grabbed a nearby stick, which was one of the sticks remaining from when he built the grape trellis, and shouted, “Who’s there!”

However, the two men lay motionless in the courtyard. Lu Qingjiu didn’t dare to get closer, turning and going to the nearby corridor and turning on the lights in the courtyard.

The lightbulbs shone brightly, illuminating the entire courtyard, allowing Lu Qingjiu to finally see what exactly was going on. 

He saw two young men laying on the ground of his courtyard, their faces covered with blood, their mouths letting out weak moans. Nearby, there were actually two daggers stained with fresh blood which were probably brought by them.

Even though Lu Qingjiu didn’t know what had happened, his first reaction was to call the police. On the phone, after the policeman heard about the situation, he said that they’d immediately come over, and asked Lu Qingjiu to first check on the two men. If necessary, he should help them call an ambulance in advance.

Lu Qingjiu agreed. He hung up and, wooden stick in hand, carefully made his way over to the two men. He noticed that the two men were covered in densely packed little holes,  as if they’d been pecked by something. The two of them were already half-unconscious from the pain, groaning non-stop from where they collapsed.

Lu Qingjiu’s gaze swept the courtyard. Noticing some blood on the ground, he followed the trail, stopping before the entrance to his chicken coop. 

The chicks were usually very obedient, when it rained or got dark, without the need for anyone to herd them, they would obediently run into the chicken coop themselves. Hence, the door to the chicken coop was never locked, letting the chicks move around by themselves.

Lu Qingjiu opened the door to the coop and saw blood streaked everywhere in the coop. But that wasn’t the important point. The important point was that almost every chicken was covered in blood. At first, Lu Qingjiu had thought that they were hurt, but upon catching one and checking it, he found that these chickens were all in high spirits, not at all like they’d been hurt. Then, was the blood on their bodies all from the wounds of those two thieves? Upon thinking of this, Lu Qingjiu slowly turned to look at the two people still on the ground and moaning in pain.

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At some point, Bai Yuehu was also disturbed from his sleep. He was leaning lazily against the doorframe, watching the ruckus in the courtyard.

Lu Qingjiu said, “Good evening.” 

“Good evening,” Bai Yuehu replied softly.

Lu Qingjiu knew he definitely knew exactly what had happened. So he slowly made his way to Bai Yuehu’s side, pointing at the two fallen, unable to get up men and said, “I’ve already called the police. Those two aren’t in life-threatening danger right?”

Bai Yuehu shook his head.

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Lu Qingjiu said, “It couldn’t have been…” 

Before he could hesitantly get out even half of his sentence, Bai Yuehu nodded, completely serious, “It’s exactly as you imagined.”

Lu Qingjiu, “…” Holy shit, it was really the chickens?!

“So those aren’t even chickens?” Lu Qingjiu asked, “What are they?”

Bai Yuehu replied, “Edible.” 

Lu Qingjiu, “…”

Right, in Bai Yuehu’s eyes, the world could be split into two categories: edible, and inedible…

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Lu Qingjiu thought for a moment, then asked, “Then, do they taste good?”

Bai Yuehu said, “Very good.” As he spoke the two words “very good”, his eyes curved slightly, clearly in a very good mood, possibly because he’d thought of the taste of those chickens. 

Since the people in the courtyard weren’t in danger of losing their lives, Lu Qingjiu couldn’t be bothered to call an ambulance for them. He picked up a damp towel, walked over to the chicken coop, and began cleaning the blood off the chickens. As he did so, he asked Bai Yuehu, “They won’t peck me, right?”

“They won’t,” Bai Yuehu said, “They recognise their master.”

Lu Qingjiu asked, “Are they sentient?”

Bai Yuehu answered decisively, “No.” 

Lu Qingjiu, “…”

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Bai Yuehu said, “They’re really not. They’re only good for being delicious.”

Lu Qingjiu didn’t quite know whether to laugh or cry. However, the chicken in his hands was indeed obedient, showing no intention of pecking him. As he wiped them clean, he asked, “Can I beat these chickens in a fight?”

Bai Yuehu replied, “Oh…” 

Lu Qingjiu turned back and gave him a look, “What does that ‘oh’ of yours mean?”

Bai Yuehu said, “I was calculating the respective fighting capabilities of you and the chicken.” He fell silent once more, before saying, “Ten against one.”

Lu Qingjiu was pleasantly surprised, “I can beat ten?”

Bai Yuehu, “Ten of you can beat one.” 

Lu Qingjiu, “…”

Seeing that Lu Qingjiu’s expression was off, Bai Yuehu added, “Don’t worry, when the time comes to eat them, I’ll handle the killing.”

Thanks so much for your hard work. Mister Lu, who watched the entire process, would like to express that he was very hurt. But seeing the two thieves writhing in incredible pain in the courtyard, but without any mortal wounds, he decided that it’d still be best if he didn’t try to test his chickens’ fighting power.

At about 4am, the police arrived. The first thing they saw were the two thieves, who were almost unconscious from pain, and Lu Qingjiu, who was sitting in the courtyard, taking a nap. 

“Hey, Lu Qingjiu,” The police officer who’d arrived was someone familiar. It was the Hu Shu who came to investigate the female corpse in Lu Qingjiu’s inner courtyard from last time. He said, “Why is it you again.”

Lu Qingjiu said, “How could I know I’d be so unlucky. These two broke the lock on my gate and planned on coming in and robbing the place.”

“Then how did they get those wounds?” Hu Shu asked.

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“How would I know?” Lu Qingjiu replied, “By the time I came out, they were already on the ground. If you don’t believe me, you can ask them.” 

The two people were barely conscious from the pain. They weren’t able to answer the police’s questions at all. But after seeing their faces, Hu Shu found that these two were actually fugitives from the city. A week ago, they were charged for a murder-robbery and currently wanted for their crimes by the entire city. Who knew they would run into Lu Qingjiu’s home. On closer thought, it might have been that Lu Qingjiu attracted their attention when buying meat in town that morning.

“Alright, I’ll take these people away first,” Hu Shu said, “Remember to come by the station to give a statement.”

“Why do I have to come by and give another statement? I don’t know anything,” Lu Qingjiu felt utterly helpless.

“That can’t be right,” Hu Shu said, “They have so many wounds on their body and there’s only you in this courtyard. If it wasn’t you, who did it? Are you going to say it was your chickens?” He casually pointed at the chicken coop by the side of the courtyard. 

Lu Qingjiu, “…” F*ck, it really was done by his chickens. But he couldn’t say that, if he did, no one would believe him. So in the end, he could only look at Hu Shu with a gaze filled with bitterness.

Hu Shu trembled at the look in Lu Qingjiu’s eyes. He said, “Don’t stare at me like that. Even though I know you may be innocent, we still have to follow proper procedures.”

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“Fine,” Lu Qingjiu gave in.

“Right,” Before Hu Shu brought the two men away, he asked in a small voice, “There hasn’t been any more problems with the well in your inner courtyard, right?” 

Lu Qingjiu said, “Oh… No… probably?”

Hu Shu, “Why do you say that so hesitantly?”

Lu Qingjiu said, “I can’t say for sure whether or not what happened today was caused by the thing in that well, no?”

Hu Shu trembled. He asked, “Are you being serious?” 

Lu Qingjiu just blinked, neither confirming nor denying anything. He felt as if Hu Shu wanted to say something else, but was incredibly hesitant, as if trying to figure something out.

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Silence fell between the two. In the end, Hu Shu wasn’t able to hold it in and asked, “Are you good at dealing with these kinds of matters?”

Lu Qingjiu asked, “What kind of matters?”

Hu Shu said, “Those kinds of supernatural events.” 

Lu Qingjiu said, “No, that was my first time dealing with that kind of thing too.”

With eyes full of doubt, Hu Shu asked, “Really?”

Lu Qingjiu nodded earnestly.

Seeing that Lu Qingjiu had no plans on opening up, Hu Shu’s mouth opened, but in the end, he said nothing, simply turning and leaving. As he watched him go, Lu Qingjiu felt as if he still had a lot he wanted to say, but for some reason, wasn’t able to say it. However, that had nothing to do with him. Lu Qingjiu looked over at his chicken coop and sighed. The blood on his chickens bodies hadn’t been completely wiped clean yet. He should probably get back to wiping them again with a towel, or else the whole courtyard would probably be covered in blood the next morning.