F*ck Yeah! I'm The Villain

Enjoy.

The only way

To get what you want

in this world,

Is through

Hard Work.

~Tiana( princess and the frog)

■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■

"What the fuċk! Who did that!?" My face is beet red from anger as I now have a concussion and a sticky piece of wet undėrwėȧr called diapers glued to my bum. To sum it up I look like a drowned rat.

looking around for the culprit my gaze lands on a fat bird with a bucket in its beak. "Sorry Master, but you wouldn't wake up and I just felt that it was appropriate at the time you see. I meant no harm, honestly." Giving him a hard look, my no eyebrows face turns the other way, pretending to be interested in the grass.

"Master pleaseeee, look at meeee. Its not my fault you fainted. Who told you to be so fragile. Come onnnn I apologized already. Pay attention to me." I felt a twitch in my eyebrow and the strand of grasss I was playing with got yanked up from the ground in my spout of fury. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Little bird don't you know how brutal your words are. First he wants my attention, then he insults me and after that goes back to being some type of clingy girlfriend. I am not a Man okay! I'm a baby!

Finally, my last straw is torn out from under me as the little bird begins to peck at my face, trying to illicit a reaction out of me. I must say it worked.

"WHAT!!! What do you want!? Please just leave me alone." The fuse to my top has blown and now I'm like a raging rhino. The only color in my vision being red.

The little bird then stops and gives me a pointed look as if I had just asked the dumbest question in the world.

"Are you slow human? I want you to give me a name dumbass what else?! None of the previous masters have, they just ignored me and went off on their own devices treating me as a hindrance to their social life. Pshhh as if they even had one to begin with." He mumbles off that last part but I manage to catch it.

"Even though you just insulted me I will ignore that and be the bigger person. As for naming you I will see what I can come up with."

His black eyes shine like shattered jewels pieced back together. Filled with hope and excitedness he flaps up and down like he's some kind of kangaroo not even lifting off the ground like a normal bird. Hmph, shameful.

"Hmmm, what about Xiao Bao?" The little bird stops dead in his tracks as his eyes once filled with glee now look heartbroken and teary as if he got dumped. I touch my nose in akwardness. Little bird don't look at this grandma like that. You're making me uncomfortable.

"BISCUIT! Are you trying to humiliate me master. Why would you do this. I've never done anything to hurt you." As he finishes the bump on my head starts to throb and my lips twitch in the irony behind those words.

"Well, I think it's a good name. For one birds eat biscuits and so naming you XiaoBao should be very appropriate." He looks at me with those same watery eyes resembling the night sky and a shiver runs down my spine. I sigh in defeat and think of a new name, my fingers grasping at the invisible hair on my chin as I begin to ponder.

S

uddenly, I'm struck with a good name. "Hey, little bird. What about Baozi, hehe you resemble one down to to the filling." He stares at me in anger as he starts chirping up a storm, saying words even I wouldn't dare to repeat.

"Master please change your mind. I dont wanna be called filled bun I'm not fat. Please master. Don't do this to me." His cries and complaints fill the air but I harden my resolve.

"No can do Baozi. What's done is done. I'm not changing my mind."

Begrudingly he accepts the name with a heavy heart. "Now, can you please take me to the library pavilliom Baozi. As you can see, I'm new to this place."

With resentment, he leads me to the place. We arrive shortly and I stare in awe. It is a two level pagoda with black rims and golden double french doors. As if sensing our arrival they open and what greets me is astonishing. Scrolls and Books and Papers fill the room in a neat and tidy order. The scent of old paper and dusty books resonate in the air and I inhale with delight. Oh how I've missed reading.

Immendiately I pounce on the nearest book, coincedently regarding matters on early cultivation for beginners. Haaaa, It's like we were meant to be. I kiss the hard covered book before opening it. The words are written in some ancient dialect but I can still understand it. As I began reading, Baozi informs me that this is a sacred heavenly manual that is widely saught after on the continent. Only a handful of people have seen it in person, but many know of its existence and benefits. He then starts bragging about how one of his masters obtained it and whatever, but I just tune him out, completely focused on the treasured object before me.

Breathe in slowly and see if u can sense the elemental sprites. They look like tiny, dancing, colorful orbs of light. Once you can see them. Try and drag the orbs to your body which are bigger than than the rest. If they are all the same size then I think you're smart enough to know what that means.

Drag the orbs into your dantian and channel them. You must turn them into qi. At first it might be difficult but try taming them it will make the process easier. Once you channel them, it will feel as there is a raging inferno inside your dantian, but you must persevere it will stop. After a while.

Try and drag the now channeling qi throughout your meridians. There will be a purifying effect and there shouldn't be any pain.

Memories of the night I first tried cultivating popped up and I feel a bit of embarrassment. I guess I did it wrong. But it doesn't matter I'm still a Queen, hehe.

A murky black substance will ooze out from your poores but do not panic that is just the impurities inside your body being expelled. It may smell foul, so beware. After all of the bad chemicals are gone, your body should feel lighter and more free. Congratulations you have passed stages 1-5. The last 2 stages will be tough. It will test your limits and body's endurance so in preparation you should tone your body by reading some martial arts scrolls, trust me, you will benefit.

As I practice the instructions start to breathe in a breathe of fresh air before delving deep into my mind, entering a meditative like state. Everything around me is pitch black, as though I am in space. I cannot help the surge of excitement running through my veins. Bright lights start popping up out of nowhere, twinkling like shimmering stars. Their sizes are gigantic not one bigger than the other and suddenly I'm questioning on how these things are gonna enter my body. The giant orbs were a total of 4 colors all together...gold, black, blue, and red.

Carefully and slowly I concentrate on dragging them towards my body. Instead of coming to me at a snails pace like I exspected they hurdled towards me and I let out a little shreek. One by the thousand they enter my body through my stomach, each absorbtion faster than the last. About 2 minutes later, I feel a bit overwhelmed. Everything is so surreal. Just a 9 months ago I was an orphaned 23 year old ȧduŀt, in college, not knowing what I was going to do in life, and now look at me. I am a baby with parents and a loving older brother along with a fiancè. PLUS I am the villainess (my favirite character might I add) in an otome game. People can only dream of these things happening to them.

I take a look inside my dantian to make sure the orbs are there and I am astounded. It is so big in here. The orbs don't even take up half the space in this vast sea of darkness. By the way I learned how to take a look inside one's dantian by reading the manual. It was the first thing written.

I try to tame the orbs but am confused on how to do so. Maybe I should command them to obey me like the lion tamers. Yeah, that's it.

Breathing in, I take a lung full of breathe before speaking out in a loud voice. "OBEY!" The orbs freeze like a deer caught in head lights and I smile in joy. Now Its time to channel. As if knowing what I was planning, the orbs start to spin in a circle until they're mixed into a thick line with a multitude of colors. It feels as though a dragons fire is heating up my insides as I break out into sweat. So hot!

Thankfully as quickly as it arrives it leaves and I am thankful. I then move the thick line like thread of qi throughout my body in a snake like fashion. My meridians and veins open up happily for it and I can feel a liquid substance seeping out of my poores. The process is long and delicate but in time I have channeled the qi through all 12 meridians. And 36 veins.

When I open my eyes again I am covered in that foul smelling black substance and resist the urge to vomit. Baozi is laying his head down beside me.

"Baozi. Umm, I may need some help." Once Baozi sees I'm awake he uses that moment to criticize me.

"Ewww master. You smell awful. I don't care if you are a baby this is just disgusting. You disgust me master. You need to bathe too. I do not understand how you can be so un hygenic. As a bird it is very important for is to take care of our bodies." Oh please all you do is dip in water and pluck out some feathers, one can hardly call that bathing. Baozi stares at me innocently and I resist the urge to throttle the dumb bird.

Gritting my teeth angrily, "Quick take your master somewhere to wash off this substance." He agrees a little too energetically and I feel as though I have hypertension.

He leads me to the lake I saw previously. "You can bathe here." He says and nestles comfortably in the grass. Staring at me.

"Uhhh....can you look the other way. Like, there is a word called decency you should try it." Baozi gazes at me as though I have grown two heads.

"Hahaha, master you are funny. What's there for me to see. You are a baby with milk behind the ears. You're as flat as a pancake, with stomach rolls. I highly doubt there's anything to look at." Ouch. First of all I am on the BOTTLE now and secondly I am quite proud of these stomach rolls, makes me look intimidating. Hmph.

"Shut up, you steamed bun or I can't promise something won't happen." He closes his mouth. Smart bird.

Guess some animals just have strong tastes.

The water feels almost therapeutic. Its cool form washes over me and I decide to stay in a little bit longer. Soon snoring away.

●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●

Hi everyone. Ummm I dont have a release schedule. I just update randomly whenever I have the chance