Feelings in a Dream

-Chapter 5-

He buried his head in her neck for a while, then he raised his hands and wrapped them round her face. His hands were so big that her cheeks were cupped in one swoop. Then, their eyes met. Lizen’s heart was beating fast. Why does he look like an adult at the age of 17?

“Lizen.”

His face slowly approached her’s. She couldn’t move, as if she were nailed down. She could even feel the touch of his warm breath on her skin. A pleasant wind blew in the field, and Kaiden’s lips brushed on her forehead very slowly.

Feeling his lips pressed against her forehead, she closed her eyes. Upon receiving his adoring kiss, as he seemed to treat her as if she were the most precious thing in the world, her entire body felt sluggish and she wrapped her hands tighter around his back.

[Rinnng! Wake up! Wake up!]

Lizen jumped out of bed and sat down. For a brief moment, she was confused between reality and dream and blinked blankly. She bit her lips and held her head with both hands. Kaiden appeared in her dream again. It was definitely mentioned that the elixir only had a one-time effect.

“…Did… Did Kaiden just show up in my dreams? My memory of last night is so clear…”

Was it just a dream? It’s probably just a dream, right? She struggled to get up, forcing herself to overcome the overwhelming sense of foreshadowing.

The first time she met Daniel was when she was 13. Ruella, her aunt who worked at the Bureau of Herbology, was in charge of the Herbology education of the young royals. The Royal Family has to be wary of drug poisoning, so the young royals were educated about drugs and elixirs from an early age. The children whom Ruella was teaching at the palace were the same age as Lizen. Ruella once dressed Lizen up fancifully and took her to the Royal Palace.

Contrary to Ashé’s slightly coquettish attitude, Daniel has been kind ever since he first met Lizen, who was a little timid. Lizen quickly fell head over heels for the prince with blonde hair and blue eyes wearing luxurious clothes, like in a fairytale. Once, when she fell while walking in the garden, Daniel even helped her up. Since then, while attending school, Lizen became bored of the other boys her age. After all, a kind prince with blond hair and blue eyes, who’s the same age as her and wears luxurious clothes, lives in the Royal Palace!

After that memory, Lizen met Daniel and Ashé for the first time when they were 17 years old at the Royal Academy. As she became close to Ashé, she naturally bumped into Daniel. The prince, who used to seem distant when they were kids, now wore the same uniform as her and took the same classes. He was called ‘Prince’ regularly, but there was a regulation to address him by name and treat him like other classmates as long as he attended school with them.

“H-How… Your Highness…”

Seventeen-year-old Daniel smiled and closed the distance between his face and the hesitant Lizen.

“Daniel. Da. Ni. El.”

“Uh uh…”

“Hurry up and say it.”

Lizen rolled her eyes and replied with a smile.

“Daniel, let’s get along well.”

“Alright, Lizen.”

Daniel stroked her brown hair once and ran away, saying he was playing basketball with his friends. Looking at Daniel’s back, Lizen knew that her unrequited love had begun. The prince, whom she had admired from a young age as she found him different from other boys, was now her classmate. How could she possibly not fall head over heels for him? Either way, students from both Royal High School and Royal College were prohibited from dating unconditionally. So, there was no room for such thoughts, but when she saw Daniel, her heart fluttered. It’s been five years since then. For five years, she had liked him without anyone else knowing. It was inevitable for her eyes and heart to fall in his direction.

But in recent days, she often thought about Kaiden, because he kept appearing in her dreams. Next to her, as she was walking quietly while thinking of her dream the previous night, Ashé suddenly gasped and stopped walking.

“Oh no! I forgot to turn in my law assignment.”

They were on their way to the dining hall.

“Hurry up and go. I’ll save you a seat at the dining hall. Give me your bag, too. Come back quickly.”

“Thanks! I’ll be back soon”.

Ashé took out a file, left her bag with Lizen and ran like an arrow, disappearing into the end of the hallway. Lizen began trudging towards the dining hall with two bags in hand. All day long, she’d been busy thinking about why she’d dreamed of Kaiden. Was it really just a meaningless dream? As she was heading towards the dining hall, someone suddenly grabbed Ashé’s bag.

“…Huh?”

“Isn’t this Ashé’s bag?””

Her face seemed to be turning red. It was Daniel. He grinned as he picked up Ashe’s bag. His white and elegant face smiled brightly.

“I’ll carry it since it’s heavy. Are you going to the dining hall?”

“Yup.”

Behind him, Kaiden stood with an indifferent face. She replied, trying not to look at Kaiden’s face as much as possible.

“Ashé went to turn in her homework. She’ll arrive at the dining hall soon.”

“Then, let’s go together. We’re on our way there, too.”

“Should we? There’ll be a lot of people at the dining hall today. They said today’s dessert is apple pudding and five types at that!”

When Lizen stretched her fingers and spoke in an excited voice, Daniel laughed. She gazed at Daniel’s smile as if she were possessed, and smiled to herself. All this while, Kaiden was observing her reddened face.

“Then, shouldn’t we run there? If we want to eat all five types of apple pudding, then we should probably leave early.”

“It’s okay! Ashé’s going to be late too anyways.”

“Then go stand in line with Kaiden first.”

Daniel said sweetly.

“I’ll go buy the meal tickets.”

Lizen looked at his back for a long time. If one has unrequited love, they’d often look at the back of their crush’s head. Looking at the back is the only way to not get caught. One can repeatedly see it until one starts to miss it. He was friendly to everyone and nice to Lizen. Being a prince, she assumed that he’d have an overbearing attitude. However, he was a person who was considerate of others.

In fact, Lizen had already purchased a large number of meal tickets a month ago, but she was planning to keep the meal tickets Daniel bought for her by exchanging them slightly. She looked at the floor alone and smiled without realising it, as her mind seemed to fly away with the absence of the weight of Ashé’s bag.

“…It would be better if you gave up.”

A low voice was heard. It was Kaiden. Kaiden must’ve had the same dream, but he looked calmer than her.

“W-What?”

“He’s going to get married next year.”

“W-W-Wha-What are you talking about?”

“If you’re not stupid, you should know.”

Lizen swallowed dry saliva. Kaiden continued in a sullen tone.

“Make up your mind. It will only hurt your feelings.”

Lizen shot glares at him. She indeed likes Daniel, and she also knows that he has a fiancee. This is why she didn’t tell her best friend Ashé either. Kaiden sighed as he saw Lizen’s expression. The embarrassing dream no longer came to mind. That’s because the weight of reality was incomparably heavy.

“That guy has a fiancee, and since he has no interest in the throne, he won’t take a lover either.”

“…I know.”

“If you know, then give up. He’s not a guy worth loving to the point your eyes turn inside out.”

“What do you mean give up? It’s not like I was going to try anything. Daniel doesn’t even like me anyways.”

“Then what are you going to do?”

“What do you mean? I’m going to do nothing.”

Seeing Kaiden’s confused expression, Lizen quickly replied in frustration.

“What can I do when I just like him? What can I do when my heart doesn’t want to give up? I just like him. It’s not wrong to keep these feelings to myself. I won’t do things to burden Daniel or become greedy. I’m just- I’m just going to treasure these feelings that’s all.

“…Just treasure them?”

I’m fortunate enough to develop feelings for someone. I’m satisfied by just spending my school years with Daniel. After graduation, when he disappears from my sight, we’ll eventually grow apart, and I’ll like other people too. Until then, I will remember and embrace this unrequited love. It’s my personal feelings, it doesn’t concern Daniel, so don’t worry.”

Kaiden was about to say something but shut his mouth when he saw Ashé running towards them. Seeing Lizen listening to Ashé’s story, who was recounting how she barely made the deadline for her assignment, he was just thinking about how he couldn’t understand it. You’re just going to treasure those feelings? It’s your own business? Daniel’s personal feelings don’t matter? If you like him, of course, you’d want to be with him. If you can’t do that due to circumstances, wouldn’t it be better to just give up?

However, if it’s Lizen, Lizen Hakart, who works hard in everything, she could have a crush like that. An unrequited love where she never shows her feelings to the other person and does her best in the shadows.

From afar, Daniel approached with a bright smile.

“Lizen, you’re going to the library again today?”

After school, Ashé said while organising her bag in the classroom, that she, Ashé, the Royal Princess, will not take the general exam because she will not be assigned to a department, so Lizen would almost always remain alone and study in the library.

“Take it easy. I’m going to let loose once I’m the top scorer.”

“After next week, I’ll play harder than anyone else. You’ll see.”

“I met Professor Saphael on my way to turn in my assignment earlier. The professor looked very disappointed.”

Saphael was a researcher at the Bureau of Herbology and a Professor of Herbology at the Royal College of Magic.

“Not one out of the top five people who received A+ in their Herbology grades wants to become herbologists. They were flustered because this was the first time such an incident happened.”