Ferocious Dog of Old

Faced with Tao Huainan’s ‘you’ve never liked me’, Chi Ku abruptly frowned after a few seconds and said, “Don’t fuss.” 

Tao Huainan could already predict what his attitude was going to be, so he calmly let out an oh. 

And then, since Chi Ku didn’t notice him after his oh, he added an okay.

–

His older brother could occasionally understand Tao Huainan’s sensitive heart and feelings, but Chi Ku wasn’t on the same road as him at all. He had grown up through sheer brutality, and Tao Huainan’s circular and indirect ways were simply a load of annoyance to him. 

Children from the rural villages weren’t like Chi Ku at all—Chi Ku was an exception, other than running around and being beaten. But normal children from villages also didn’t waste energy worrying whether someone liked them or not; there wasn’t enough time to mess things up and then run to skate on the river. Tao Huainan’s hypersensitivity and pride had been created through being forced to stay at home. His world was too siloed.

Sometimes, Chi Ku really did find him annoying.

Like whenever Tao Huainan tattled on him—Chi Ku honestly couldn’t stand it.

Or whenever he said such nauseating words and made people not know how to respond to him. Whenever that happened, Chi Ku really, truly found him annoying.

But no matter how annoying he found him, it was his own business. When they were heading downstairs after school ended, Tao Huainan was pushed by a 3rd year student, and his arm knocked into the railing on the staircase, letting out an “ah”. Chi Ku reached out and shoved that kid hard enough for him to fall.

Mean kids could be found anywhere, and normal schools were filled with hateful, mean kids. It wasn’t as though schools for blind children didn’t have them. And it was because they were blind—their parents were used to spoiling them—that children in blind schools were even harder to manage once they started making trouble.

The one who pushed Tao Huainan was the naughtiest, most troublesome student in 3rd year. He was already used to acting the way he did, and he would push anyone who stood in his way. They were all blind anyway and couldn’t handle being pushed; many of the children he pushed often started crying after they fell.

But Tao Huainan didn’t cry. He only groped for Chi Ku as he blinked, extremely cautious.

Their class teacher was leading them from the front, and she naturally saw Chi Ku shoving someone. She gave him a look from far away, and yet she didn’t say anything.

That 3rd year student scrambled up from the stairs himself, wailing: “Who pushed me!”

Chi Ku didn’t even turn his head. Their class had almost reached the next floor down.

The class teacher said to the teacher assistant at the end of the line: “Help him down the stairs. Be careful.”

“Who pushed me!” That kid was still yelling. He wasn’t fully blind; he had some residual vision, and he crouched on the staircase, pointing down at them: “Who in your class pushed me! Just you wait!”

Tao Huainan tightened the hand holding onto Chi Ku. Chi Ku didn’t respond at all, and when Tao Huainan almost tripped and fell on the last step, he said to him, “Count the steps.”

Clutching his hand, Tao Huainan finally came back to attention and counted the steps one by one.

–

Because of this, the teacher spoke with Tao Xiaodong for a long time at the school entrance.

Tao Xiaodong had one hand on each child, and he listened as the teacher quietly told him about their situation at school. Other than the pushing just then, there was really nothing much to say about Chi Ku; there was nothing to worry about for both of his boys. The younger brother might be timid, but the older brother was there to take him around—this was very good.

The teacher was a fairly young lady, strict towards her students, and yet she always treated the parents quite nicely.

Smiling, Tao Xiaodong said to her: “You’ve worked hard.” 

“That’s my duty.” The teacher glanced at Chi Ku and said to him, “You can’t do that next time.”

Chi Ku didn’t speak, and Tao Xiaodong rubbed his head. “Why such a big temper?”

At his side, Tao Huainan quickly said: “He pushed me first……. Chi Ku only pushed him because of that.”

Both the teacher and Tao Xiaodong laughed. Tao Xiadong tugged his ear, saying, “That’s not good either.”

After politely speaking a little more with the teacher, Tao Xiaodong led them towards the car. Tao Huainan was worried Chi Ku would get lectured, so he thought carefully before saying to his ge: “My arm really hurts. It got knocked earlier, almost hard enough to echo.” 

Tao Xiaodong rolled up his sleeve, sweeping his eyes over his arm. It really was a bit red.

He wasn’t lying—it actually did hurt quite a bit. Tao Huainan had thin skin and soft flesh, and it would most likely bruise by nightfall. 

Tao Xiaodong flicked Chi Ku’s head and said: “It’s too dangerous to push someone on the stairs, especially when they can’t see. Don’t do that next time.”

Chi Ku didn’t reply, and Tao Huainan spoke again. “Then I should just take it if someone shoves me?”

Tao Xiaodong was suddenly mischievously, evilly amused, and he whispered: “Wait until he’s on flat ground, and then push him. Shove him so hard he somersaults. Then quickly run away.”

He turned on the car. Tao Huainan was stupified by his ge’s words, and even Chi Ku was quite surprised.

Tao Xiaodong looked at their glazed eyes and snorted. “Just because he’s blind. Does he think our family’s children aren’t blind too? Go ahead and bully back whoever bullies you. Don’t be afraid, ge’s here.” 

What he said wasn’t reasonable, but Tao Xiaodong was someone like that to begin with. He entered society by himself around seventeen, eighteen years old and found himself in the tattoo industry before graduating high school. During those years of university, he climbed up by himself in both the tattoo industry and society. 

He wouldn’t do things that offended people, but he definitely wouldn’t allow people to harm him either.

Tao Huainan had said those words because he was originally worried his brother would scold Chi Ku, but now he felt something wasn’t quite right—and yet he also wanted to laugh. 

“You even got caught by your teacher, who had to tell me,” Tao Xiaodong said as he drove. “No one could catch me when I was younger and wanted to beat someone up. Your ge was clever.”

He told the two of them about a bunch of bad things he did in his childhood. He twisted around in his seat during a red light and asked Chi Ku, grinning, “We come from the same piece of land. Be a bit smarter, don’t be stupid. Isn’t it embarrassing to have your teacher complain? I even have to give her a smiling face to look at.”

Tao Huainan had long been tickled into laughter by his brother, and he laughed so hard his little belly heaved. Even Chi Ku couldn’t hold back, and he turned his head to the side, lightly crooking up the corners of his mouth.

“Laugh openly if you want to laugh. Why hide it.” Tao Xiaodong turned back around, hummed two songs and then said to Chi Ku, “You’re acting more and more like an older brother, xiao-gege1.”

Their eyes met in the rearview mirror, and Chi Ku felt a bit uncomfortable; he moved his eyes away.

“It’s easy being the younger brother. No matter what happens, there’s always the older brother to take care of things.” Tao Xiaodong made a noise with his tongue, slightly lifting his chin as he looked at him in the mirror. He teased, “It’s not easy being the older brother, right?” 

Lowering his eyelids, Chi Ku let the top of his head meet the eyes in the mirror.

Tao Huainan was heartless as he sat next to him, laughing like a fool. He said, “I thought you were going to scold him. I was so scared.” 

“What would I scold him for?” Tao Xiaodong turned the steering wheel and said unconventionally, “That’s the temper kids from our village should have: smack back if you’re hit, scream back if you’re yelled at.” 

Tao Huainan said, cackling, “That’s not what you said to me before!”

“You’re not from our village. You’re a city kid.” Tao Xiaodong said, “Besides, you little blind child—who can you hit? You only know how to cry.” 

And then, asking Chi Ku: “Right, Xiao Chi?”

The little smile on Chi Ku’s face couldn’t be held back at all. He wiped his nose with the back of his hand; this was the first time he smiled so widely, and he pivoted his head over, refusing to turn back around.

Tao Huainan pouted—one moment his ge said he wasn’t from their village, and the next moment he was told he only knew how to cry. He slumped over to the side, muttering and squirming around. His head kept bumping into Chi Ku, and he ended up leaning on him entirely.

He forgot the stuff he’d said at school and forgot Chi Ku didn’t like him.

The small fight he’d had with Chi Ku for a while flipped to a new page, just like that.

–

Perhaps Tao Huainan’s weak, fragile glass heart needed Chi Ku’s thick skin to heal it. 

Sometimes Tao Huainan would start to get upset, but Chi Ku would first say something without waiting for him to speak. “Suck your mouth back.” 

Tao Huainan needed to forcefully flatten the mouth he’d just puckered up.

If he still continued chirping around with something to say, Chi Ku would tell him to “stop annoying people”. 

After a while, Tao Huainan’s skin also thickened, and he was no longer so sensitive. Or else Chi Ku would say he was annoying whenever he had something to sulk about.

“Annoying” pretty much was the most common thing Chi Ku said to him.  

Tao Huainan refused to accept it after he’d been called annoying too many times. He stubbornly asked, his little neck stiff, “How am I annoying?”

Chi Ku patted his homework booklet. “Hurry up.”

“My fingertips hurt.” Tao Huainan wasn’t willing to ‘write’—the braille marks wouldn’t press onto the paper unless he pushed hard enough, but his hand would hurt if he put in the effort.

Chi Ku chided him: “You whine so much.”

He was scolded again and was disdained again. Tao Huainan was no longer so defensive. Go ahead and scold him if he wants to, what can he do? 

He jumped off from his chair, groping his way to the sofa to eat some fruit. His older brother was there, chatting on the phone with someone, and he lay his head onto his brother’s legs. Tao Xiaodong ended up covering his eyes.

Tao Huainan softly asked: “Are my eyes moving again?”

Tao Xiaodong continued listening to the person on the phone and said: “It’s fine, they’re not moving anymore.” 

–

Tao Xiaodong and Chi Ku always paid attention to whether his eyeballs were moving. They minded it for a good few months before he was able to stop doing it. Over those few months, other than Tao Huainan’s initial upset feelings in the beginning, he soon got used to having other people mind it. He would even thicken his face and call Chi Ku over during the afternoon nap and before bedtime at night, placing Chi Ku’s hand on his eyes.

“Press down. I’ll know if they move if you press.”

Chi Ku took his hand away. “Tired. I want to sleep.”

Giggling, Tao Huainan used his two hands to catch him, and when he caught him, he put Chi Ku’s hand on his eyes. He coaxed him and negotiated, “Just for a little bit?”

Actually, it was just because he liked how it felt to have his eyes covered. He usually didn’t feel his eyes, so it was only through this way that he could sense them. Being able to feel the warmth of the palm around the skin of his eyes also gave him a sense of security.

Later, when his eyes were fully fixed and no longer randomly moved, he sometimes still wanted to call Chi Ku.

Chi Ku shook the pillow cloth and told him to go to sleep, stop fussing.

Tao Huainan followed the cloth and reached a hand over, grabbing Chi Ku’s hair. Chi Ku immediately jerked his head and squashed his hand under it; Tao Huainan pulled his hand back.

The two of them weren’t behaving, and the two other naughty children on the other side of the room were also awake. After becoming familiar with each other, the children at school were no longer easy to manage. The granny even needed to discipline them every day at night–there were one or two children who became more and more disobedient.

Tao Huainan finally bothered Chi Ku enough that he reached over and pinched his face.

Tao Huainan quietly said, “Ouch, ouch!”

Chi Ku frowned. “Why are you so annoying.”

“Does being annoying mean you can pinch my face?” Tao Huainan protected his cheek, his face filled with disbelief.

Chi Ku flipped over, covering his head with his blanket.

Delicate brat.

–

1 小哥哥, lit. little older brother. It can be just a cute way of referring to another guy who’s younger than you, or it can also mean the younger older brother. I think both work in this!