Ferocious Dog of Old

It felt like his entire person had changed just because his voice had changed. Tao Huainan fussed over Chi Ku’s voice for a good while, disliking and disdaining his voice everyday. Sometimes Chi Ku would be speaking, and Tao Huainan would shrink his neck away; Chi Ku would ask what was wrong, and Tao Huainan would say softly, your voice sounds awful.

Chi Ku was so annoyed he didn’t want to bother with him anymore.

The annoying brat was annoying because of this: if you responded to him, he’d grumble and say you sounded unpleasant. If you didn’t respond to him, then he’d rush over and coax xiao-ge here and xiao-ge there. 

Later, even Tao Xiaodong couldn’t watch what was happening anymore and told him to stop fussing.

–

Tao Xiaodong met up with his friends and also brought along the two younger ones, finding a place over the weekend to have fun.

Tao Huainan had grown up by now. He was already in junior high and couldn’t let his brothers take turns carrying him. Tian Yi-ge and Xia Yuan-ge still doted on him though, keeping him next to them whenever they saw him. They’d ask about all sorts of random things.

Xia Yuan-ge was a business owner and was particularly extravagant. He’d always stuff money into Tao Huainan’s pockets.

Holding down his pockets, Tao Huainan wanted to run away, and when he couldn’t escape, he called out for his older brother. Tao Xiaodong had been a bit too far away and didn’t know what they were doing, but he still yelled to Xia Yuan, “Don’t be a dick, don’t bother my brother.”

“You—” Xia Yuan didn’t know what to say. “When have I ever bothered Xiao Nan.”

Tao Xiaodong came over. “What are you guys doing?”

“Xia Yuan-ge keeps pushing money into my pockets,” Tao Huainan said, laughing.

“And here I thought it was something serious.” Tao Xiaodong didn’t think it was anything worth worrying over. “Isn’t it good to be given money? Let him give you all he wants.”

So Tao Huainan smiled as he pulled open his pockets, letting Xia Yuan-ge give him money.

After accepting the money, Tao Huainan immediately turned around and scooped out the money to give Chi Ku. Chi Ku took it very naturally and shoved it into his own pockets.

“This is too funny.” Xia Yuan joked, “You’d rather take my money and give it to an ugly kid?”

“His money’s all with Chi Ku.” Tao Xiaodong was already used to it. “He doesn’t handle his own things, Chi Ku carries all of his stuff for him.”

“Not bad.” Xia Yuan looked at Chi Ku and scrutinised him for a bit before saying, “He won’t be so ugly once he grows up.”

Tao Xiaodong laughed, scolding, “You bastard, who’re you calling ugly.”

–

He never felt comfortable whilst in public, but in front of this group of older brothers, Tao Huainan had nothing to feel uncomfortable about. They were all older brothers who’d watched him grow up.

He was also able to completely relax when eating. Chi Ku told him what dishes were on the table, and he got Chi Ku to get him whatever he wanted to eat.

He loved eating sweet things too much, constantly asking for the dishes that were sweet. Every time the lazy Susan rotated to them1, Chi Ku would grab a bunch and stock up his bowl.

As they ate, the idle conversation in the room turned towards the two of them. The bunch of older brothers, all around thirty years old, watched the two boys. They’d sometimes get a bit melancholy as they drank, and they started to think of themselves when they were their age.

Xia Yuan said, “I heard the ugly child’s voice crack. He’s starting to grow up.”

“I’m going to kick you if you call him ugly again.” Tao Xiaodong glanced at him. “Who can be uglier than you? Tian Yi and I didn’t even want to walk next to you during university. Aren’t you the least bit self-aware.”

“I was still going through puberty, I was still growing,” Xia Yuan shamelessly boasted.

“Please.” Tian Yi couldn’t keep listening. “If you were still going through puberty, then you’ll still be going through puberty when you’re eighty.”

–

As a child, Chi Ku had been ugly and had looked country-bumpkin, and so Xia Yuan had kept calling him the ugly child. Tao Huainan hadn’t thought much of that nickname in the past; it was fine as long as his voice wasn’t unpleasant to listen to.

It wasn’t like that anymore.

“Ugly-ge2,” Tao Huainan softly called him.

Chi Ku frowned. “What?”

Tao Huainan simply wanted to be annoying, and he called him that again as he smiled.

Chi Ku froze for two seconds; he decided to not acknowledge him.

After Tao Huainan stopped looking for trouble, he still asked Chi Ku to get food for him, even saying he wanted the fish he just had. Chi Ku pretended to not hear him and ate his own food.

“Xiao-ge, I still want fish.”

“There’s none left.” Chi Ku didn’t even lift his head.

“There is there is there is.” 

Chi Ku ignored him for a bit before getting him a piece. Tao Huainan was happy and satisfied after putting it in his mouth, and so he started looking for trouble again. He opened his mouth and said, “Thank you, Ugly-ge.” 

Chi Ku looked at him and then moved his chair away. There was half a metre in between them, and no matter how Tao Huainan called, he didn’t respond.

After eating dinner, the older brothers still wanted to socialise for a bit longer. The two of them were to go home first.

Tao Huainan held onto Chi Ku’s hand as they were going down the stairs, turning back into that soft and meek little child—except he was no longer as obedient.

–

Tao Huainan frequently bothered people like that on purpose, but they were all jokes done privately at home. He could say whatever he wanted, but other people weren’t allowed to run their mouths.

Chi Ku didn’t have many friends at school, and neither did Tao Huainan. But because of Tao Huainan’s bad eyes, there were some kindhearted classmates who would ask after him, and after some time had passed, he had some classmates he could be considered familiar with. 

Two boys not quite good at studying sat behind them. They kept speaking like hooligans, and Tao Huainan didn’t really like them.

That morning, Chi Ku went to the front of the classroom to clean the blackboard as it was his day on duty today. Tao Huainan sat in his seat and drank a carton of milk. The two boys behind him came back from outside, and perhaps they found the space too tight; a leg forcefully knocked into a desk and slid it forward to hit Tao Huainan.

The desk bumped into Tao Huainan, and the milk in his hand spurted out and splashed over his body.

He frowned, and the two boys behind him chuckled as they apologised, saying, “Oops, sorry.”

Chi Ku turned back around, glancing in their direction.

One of the boys said to the other, “Hey, he’s looking at you.”

“Looking to see how handsome I am?” The other boy’s laughter was very annoying. “I don’t mind him looking at me if that means he could get a bit better-looking.” 

“You should respect the number one in our class,” the one on the left deliberately said.

The one on the right sneered, saying, “Smart people are all nerds.” 

–

Tao Huainan’s ears were so sensitive he heard every single word.

When the two of them occasionally joked about him, Tao Huainan didn’t care—he was used to it. But they weren’t allowed to talk about Chi Ku; the first two from the bottom taunting the actual first: wasn’t that just asking for a beating?

Tao Huainan turned his head around and said, “Nerds are better than idiots.” 

Perhaps they hadn’t thought he would hear them, and perhaps they hadn’t thought the usually silent blind boy would suddenly speak—the two of them were somewhat stunned, not saying anything.

Chi Ku didn’t know what happened, only knowing that Tao Huainan’s clothes had gotten dirty. He came back and took off his uniform coat for him to wear, but Tao Huainan shook his head. He said, “I can just wear this. The smell of milk is quite nice.”

He’d pretty much been bathed in milk while growing up; the smell of milk was all too familiar. 

–

At first, Chi Ku hadn’t thought much of what had happened, only sensing something was wrong after half the morning had passed.

The kid was too listless; his face had been scrunched up all morning, and he wasn’t happy no matter what he did.

“What’s wrong?” Chi Ku asked as they came back from the morning group exercises.

Tao Huainan still got angry whenever he thought about it. Over two hours had passed, but still his temper had yet to subside. He didn’t want to talk about it when Chi Ku asked and leaned his head against Chi Ku’s body; he only remembered Chi Ku didn’t let him do so after he’d already leaned over.

Chi Ku reminded him, “Level Three.”

Tao Huainan sat up, nodding as he said, “I remember.”

“Seriously, what happened?” Chi Ku turned his face over to him. “Did I annoy you?”

“No.” Tao Huainan immediately said, “Idiots annoyed me.”

–

In the case of something like this, Tao Huainan was extremely petty.

He wasn’t too happy the entire day, constantly grumbling. He finally couldn’t hold back anymore once they’d gotten home and started to let out the anger and vexation in his heart as he sat cross-legged on a chair. Every other word out of his mouth was ‘idiot’.

Only then did Chi Ku understand what he’d been angry about all day. Seeing Tao Huainan’s knit eyebrows and continuously running mouth, he gave a rare laugh. “Are you bored? Why take it so seriously.”

“How could I not take it seriously?” Tao Huainan’s drawn eyebrows had still yet to relax. “They’re just jealous, jealous that you tested first. People who test first are all geniuses, only smart people can test first. Idiots end up first from the bottom.”

“That’s enough.” Chi Ku flicked his head and handed him his pyjamas. “Change your clothes.”

–

Chi Ku hadn’t been born with a friendly face, and since he also didn’t like to talk, he didn’t have many classmates who liked him after so many years of schooling. It was fine if they didn’t like him, and Tao Huainan didn’t care as long as he didn’t hear—but he wouldn’t allow any bad words if he heard.

For the next few days, Tao Huainan felt particularly annoyed because of what’d happened. Sometimes when the two boys behind him were sleeping especially deeply, Tao Huainan would violently shove his chair back and smack into their desks with a bang.

Originally he was someone who didn’t tend to remember grievances for long, but he remembered this matter for a while. He had a special position in class: the class teacher took care of him extraordinarily well, and so he was privileged. Who could handle annoying him? Even later, when the two boys behind him started to find him annoying, they couldn’t do anything to him; they had no way of arguing with a blind person.

–

Actually, compared to their classes in elementary school, this class in junior high was much better. Chi Ku had often fought back then; this class teacher was strict, the students serious and the atmosphere in class was not bad.

Kind girls would treat Tao Huainan with sympathy and pity, often giving him snacks. After a while had passed, they even started to talk more often with Chi Ku and sometimes would come over to ask some questions.

Tao Huainan leaned against the heater and comfortably drank his milk, listening as Chi Ku explained a question to Li Xue.

It should be Li Xue. In any case, it wasn’t Zheng Xue.

Chi Ku didn’t really explain much, only discussing the answer while sketching out the process on a piece of paper.

“Thank you.” The girl gave him a reserved sound of gratitude and returned back to her own seat.

After finishing his carton of milk, Tao Huainan threw the carton into the trash bag he’d hung next to himself. He groped around in his desk for his own lesson book, and he’d just placed it onto his desk when he heard another girl come to talk to Chi Ku.

She sounded like one of the student committee members. Her voice was relatively weak, and the sound of her voice remained quite soft; she sounded like a very gentle and quiet girl just from her voice.

Tao Huainan actually quite liked her voice. People with pleasant-sounding voices were so likeable.

She hadn’t come to ask questions—she’d come to borrow Chi Ku’s notes. But Chi Ku didn’t take notes; he wasn’t used to taking notes about those things.

“I don’t have any,” Chi Ku replied without any expression on his face.

“Ah…” The young girl was too bashful, feeling a bit embarrassed after being rejected. She softly said, “Okay.”

–

Tao Huainan eased over after she left and said, smiling, “Xiao-ge, you’re getting popular now.”

Chi Ku picked off a small piece of fluff on his face. “You’re not going to hurry and memorise your lessons?”

“I can’t, there’s too much.” Tao Huainan pulled out a packet of cookies from his desk.

Chi Ku directly grabbed them away from him, not letting him eat—if he had both milk and cookies, then he wouldn’t be able to eat lunch.

Tao Huainan didn’t get angry. If he won’t let him eat, then so be it.

The little blind boy at this point in time still had the young, immature thoughts of a child. Puberty was originally meant to be the age of the awakening of feelings, yet the foolish boy only knew to eat and drink every day. Girls surrounded him one after another, but he thought they’d come to ask about him as a disabled person. His heart was as hard and unfeeling as a brick.

–

1 Not sure if this is worth a footnote, but usually in Chinese culture, the younger generations aren’t allowed to spin the lazy Susan until the older generation is done. Of course, if the dish you want to eat ends up in front of you without you needing to spin it, go for it!
2 ‘Ugly’ is also one character here: 丑 (chǒu).