Ferocious Dog of Old

The two of them reached an agreement—they temporarily said goodbye to sleeping separately.

That night, Tao Huainan went to take back his old blanket from his brother’s room. It was under his brother’s leg, and when he couldn’t tug it out, he even shoved at his ge’s leg. “Move your leg.”

“Yo, where you going?” Tao Xiaodong eyed him, grinning. “Lie down, it’s time to turn off the lights and sleep.”

Tao Huainan didn’t reply, rolling the blanket into a ball before hugging it in his arms and turning around to slowly walk away.

“What you doing?” Tao Xiaodong deliberately asked, “You’re not sleeping with me anymore?”

Tao Huainan quietly mumbled, “Not sleeping with you anymore.”

Tao Xiaodong lifted up his neck and watched as Tao Huainan returned back to his own room. He then turned off the lights, smiling.

–

They each fell asleep on their own sides of the bed, but when Tao Huainan woke up, his leg was once again on Chi Ku’s belly. One of Chi Ku’s hands was resting on his leg, and he’d yet to wake up.

Tao Huainan flipped over, raising his arm to wrap around Chi Ku. His face almost touched Chi Ku’s arm, and the hot air he breathed out was all puffed against Chi Ku’s arm.

Rubbing his face against the bedsheets, Tao Huainan thought—there was really nothing better than sleeping in his own room.

When Chi Ku opened his eyes, he couldn’t move; Tao Huainan had wrapped himself around him. He’d been like that since young, sleeping messily and everywhere on the bed. Ge had indulged him as a child, and now it was Chi Ku who indulged him. It was as though he couldn’t fall asleep without having his leg on top of someone.

The winter holidays officially started for the two junior high students, and they didn’t need to go to school every day anymore. But Tao Xiaodong was always at his busiest during this period of time—he needed to leave early and return late every day and didn’t have much time to spend with them.

He went over to their room in the morning, and upon seeing Chi Ku awake, he asked, “Are you two staying at home or coming with me?”

Chi Ku glanced at the still sleeping Tao Huainan, and he said, still lying there, “You can go first, ge. If he wants to look for you, I’ll take him over.”

Tao Xiaodong said, “Sure. Keep sleeping.”

–

He didn’t know if this sleep was particularly pleasant or what, but Tao Huainan slept all the way past 9am.

He slept for so long even he himself was a bit dazed. He sat up and didn’t move for a good long while, and neither did he have any reactions to anything; he was completely befuddled from sleep.

Chi Ku got off the bed, Tao Huainan asking in a soft voice, “Where are you going?”

“Bathroom.” Chi Ku left after putting on his slippers.

Tao Huainan followed him off the bed. He couldn’t find his slippers despite going around the entire bed, so he could only walk out with his feet bare.

Chi Ku was cleaning up in the bathroom, and he shifted to the side when he saw Tao Huainan coming in. As he continued brushing his teeth, he used one hand to squeeze toothpaste onto Tao Huainan’s toothbrush. Tao Huainan felt his way over and then placed the brush into his mouth, slowly brushing; he even smiled at Chi Ku, mumbling out a “thank you”.

He’d forgotten their previous small argument over just one sleep, and he was extraordinarily docile whenever he was fuzzy from sleep.

With a towel on top of his head, Chi Ku wanted to leave once he finished washing his face, but he immediately frowned once he turned around and saw Tao Huainan’s bare feet. He toed off his own slippers, kicked them over to Tao Huainan and left to search for slippers, his own feet bare.

Drowsily stepping onto those slippers, Tao Huainan lowered his head to spit out the foam and rinse out his mouth.

–

Sadly, Tao Huainan would only be docile for a short length of time. He remembered the somewhat cold-ish cold war between them once he fully woke up, and he started to once again act awkwardly around Chi Ku.

Chi Ku acted like he always did during a fight: he transcribed exam papers into braille and had Tao Huainan work on a complete set.

Tao Huainan finished an English exam, and as he waited for Chi Ku to check his answers, he suddenly asked, “Don’t you talk on the phone with the academic rep?”

Chi Ku threw him a look; he didn’t answer.

“Do you guys want to see each other?” Rather generously, Tao Huainan said, “If you want to go out, it’s okay for me to stay at home by myself. I won’t carelessly touch things, and I won’t leave the house.”

Chi Ku was marking his paper. Finding him annoying, Chi Ku told him to shut up.

Tao Huainan couldn’t hold it in, and he asked something else, “Why did you find a partner? What’s so good about having one?”

As soon as he talked about this, Chi Ku felt like he was going to get angry. He didn’t want to hear a single word about it—he got annoyed whenever he did.

“I’m going to leave if you say a single word more,” Chi Ku said.

“To look for the academic rep?” Tao Huainan pouted and then said, “Go see her if you want, don’t use me as an excuse. Go and leave, go. I won’t tell ge.”

Chi Ku threw the paper onto the table. He stood up and walked away.

Thinking he was leaving the house, Tao Huainan followed behind Chi Ku’s butt, grumbling, “Then when are you coming back?”

Chi Ku said, “I’m not coming back.” 

Tao Huainan didn’t take him seriously—he could tell Chi Ku was lying as soon as he heard. Tao Huainan asked again, “When are you coming back?”

Chi Ku completely couldn’t bear it anymore, and he stretched out a hand to cover up Tao Huainan’s mouth. “Can you not annoy me.”

–

The more Tao Huainan kept muttering and nagging about it again and again, the less Chi Ku wanted to explain. It was actually overly ridiculous; what kind of brain did he have to have thought of something like that?

They were together for twenty-four hours a day. Chi Ku had merely left his side for those two class periods a day previously, and yet as soon as he turned around, Tao Huainan gave him a mess like this.

There were too many strange thoughts in his head.

Slipping on a coat, Chi Ku took the keys and truly left. Tao Huainan was dazed; he stood in the living room, his entire person dull and lifeless.

–

By the time Chi Ku opened the door and came back, Tao Huainan was sitting straight and upright on the sofa, staring blankly in a direction.

He didn’t speak either at hearing the sound of the door.

Chi Ku tossed his keys onto the shoe cabinet, walking in after changing his shoes. He pushed a large cup of milk tea into Tao Huainan’s arms—it was still hot.

Tao Huainan touched it and didn’t smile. It was rare for him to not smile. 

Chi Ku hung up his coat and said to him, “Continue with your papers after you finish that.”

“You’re not going out to date anymore?” Tao Huainan asked, holding onto the milk tea.

“Bullshit I’m dating.” Chi Ku grabbed the straw and stabbed it into the milk tea Tao Huainan was holding with a pop.

Tao Huainan lowered his head, searching for it. The blind boy couldn’t even accurately find a straw; he needed to open his mouth and move around until he touched it.

Chi Ku watched as his mouth neared the straw, as he properly drank it and as he slowly chewed on the pearls. Tao Huainan was most obedient when he wasn’t talking.

–

He’d finished half of the large cup of milk tea before Tao Huainan frantically realised—Chi Ku actually hadn’t gone out to see his partner just then. He’d deliberately chosen to scare him; he’d only gone out for a short while to buy a cup of milk tea.

Satisfaction exploded in his heart at once—a small child’s happiness was truly too simple.

With his reflexes delayed by one hundred metres, Tao Huainan got up from the sofa with an ‘ah’, and he clambered onto Chi Ku’s back once he found him, his arm going around Chi Ku’s neck. “You went out specifically to buy milk tea for me!”

“I didn’t,” Chi Ku said.

“You did!” Tao Huainan was grinning so very happily. “How are you so good!”

Chi Ku pulled off Tao Huainan’s arm from his neck, but Tao Huainan went to hug him, calling him, “Xiao-ge.”

“Come and take your maths exam. What were you even thinking as you took your English exam?” Chi Ku was frowning. “I really don’t know what’s stuffed inside your head.”

Now that Tao Huainan was in a particularly good mood, he wouldn’t get angry no matter what Chi Ku said. He blithely sat down and prepared to work on his maths paper.

–

The marks of puberty weren’t obvious on Tao Huainan—he wasn’t rebellious, and neither was he argumentative.

His fur had been smoothed out with just a cup of milk tea, and afterwards, it didn’t matter what happened; he smiled through it all, occasionally making some impudent remarks before coaxing the other person with I was wrong.

He was still the same when Tao Xiaodong brought them to his store. He stuck closely to Chi Ku, refusing to move away. It didn’t sound so intimate anymore after calling out “xiao-ge, xiao-ge” so often.

As Tao Xiaodong worked, he heard Tao Huainan speaking honeyed words by the side again, and he chuckled underneath his mask.

Huang-ge was holding a large cup of tea, standing next to him and watching him work. He too laughed and said, “Xiao Nan is too good at coaxing people.”

“He’s being cautious.” Tao Xiaodong said, “He made Chi Ku angry a while back, so now he’s wheedling him back.”

“He still needs to sweet talk?” Huang-ge looked at Tao Huainan and then sighed, saying, “I didn’t think people would be able to get mad at him once he smiled at them.” 

He was both a pale and beautiful child, and a pair of large, unfocused eyes hung on his face. As soon as he smiled, people’s hearts both softened and felt sorry for him.

–

Since it was the winter holidays, he didn’t need to go to school and didn’t need to see that academic rep or other students or whatever. That sense of danger in Tao Huainan’s heart naturally disappeared.

Those continuously winding flickers of emotions had simply been from a young child’s possessiveness.

Gege was his, and Chi Ku was his. Within Tao Huainan’s narrow world, other people could not touch those two. The sense of danger from having someone snatch them away and the sense of loss from them no longer belonging solely to him would inevitably bring about negative emotions.

Now that he wasn’t feeling uncomfortable anymore, he stopped pretending and frankly said to Chi Ku when no one else was around, “I know I’m petty. I’m stingy.”

Chi Ku followed up very naturally, “You’re an annoying brat.”

“You’d get angry too if I started dating someone else.” That was what Tao Huainan had most recently realised—the feelings he and Chi Ku had for each other should be the same, so there would be no way Chi Ku wouldn’t get angry.

Chi Ku said coldly, “You dare?”

“I don’t.” Tao Huainan honestly said, “I’m afraid of you getting angry, you’re hard to coax when you’re angry.”

Chi Ku looked at him. Tao Huainan said, “You’re closer to me than anyone else. That’s a betrayal.”

That word had come out; Chi Ku mutely turned around to the other side.

“It is.” Tao Huainan jerked his chin, repeating it again.

–

Chi Ku was willing to listen now that Tao Huainan was speaking so clearly and nicely, and so he stopped trying to compare tempers with him. He forcefully pinched Tao Huainan’s face and said, “What nonsense are you babbling.”

Tao Huainan twitched his mouth. 

“Has water gone into your brain,” Chi Ku asked him.

“You only know to nag me.” Tao Huainan dropped his eyes. “You’re always fiercest towards me.”

“Can I be fierce to other people?” Coldly and indifferently, Chi Ku said to Tao Huainan, “If you have free time to think about these things, then memorise some more books. Don’t keep thinking about useless things like finding a partner. Who got you to look at rotten things?” 

Tao Huainan blinked, not understanding.

Outside, ge called the two of them out to eat. Chi Ku stood up and reached out a hand. “If you have something to ask, then ask me directly. Don’t mull over it yourself and then stubbornly come at me after your thoughts have flown a couple hundred thousand metres away. See how I yell at you if you try this again.”

Tao Huainan had yet to understand his words when Chi Ku pulled him up. He took Tao Huainan out of the store’s resting area and to the kitchen to eat.

–

There was only one tattoo artist left working in the main lobby once they left for the kitchen.

Chi Ku hadn’t cared when the store entrance was pushed open; he didn’t even turn around as he brought Tao Huainan towards the kitchen.

Tao Huainan had just understood Chi Ku’s words, and he softly asked with some disbelieving joy, “So are you not—”

He had yet to finish speaking when the person at the door interrupted him, calling out “Chi Ku” in astonishment.

–

Both of them turned towards the door. One could see, the other one couldn’t.

The one who could see, almost instantaneously, moved entirely without thinking. He pushed the one who couldn’t see behind himself, his eyes staring at the door. He took a wary step back.