Ferocious Dog of Old

Tao Xiaodong didn’t come back until midday, having needed to have a meal with all the old neighbours who’d helped out after the ashes were laid to rest. He brought the two of them some food as well, and as soon as he entered the house, he asked Tao Huainan, “Do you need to pee?”

Tao Huainan didn’t speak, looking across in the direction of the wall without seeing a single thing.

Just like the last few days, Tao Xiaodong gave the other small boy some food. When the aluminium dish was stretched out, that boy silently looked at the dish in his hand for a while and didn’t take it. 

He didn’t lift either his face or his head, and Tao Xiaodong didn’t have any intention to mind him. He placed the dish onto the cabinet near him and said, “Eat it yourself.”

The child placed his two hands behind his back and leaned against the wall, shifting. He didn’t eat. 

Tao Xiaodong picked up Tao Huainan, heading to the outside room for him to pee into the dirty bucket, and fed him once they came back.

There was no sound coming from the direction of the wall, nothing that sounded like food was being eaten. Tao Huainan had eaten only half his meal when he said he was full — Tao Xiaodong wiped his mouth for him and told him to take a nap.

He was about to head outside with the half-eaten bowl of food when Tao Huainan called out, “Ge.”

Tao Xiaodong turned around to look at him. “What’s wrong?”

Tao Huainan patted the side next to him. “I’m not full yet, I’ll keep eating it later when I’m hungry.”

“Why eat it when it’s cold?”

Tao Huainan hemmed and hawed, “Just leave it here… I’ll eat it later.” 

There was no way Tao Xiaodong would let him eat it, but he still didn’t take the food and pour it out. He placed it by Tao Huainan’s side and went out to wash his face.

Tao Xiaodong hadn’t had a good sleep the last few days, having needed to watch over outside at night, so he was running very low on sleep. He could finally relax a bit after his parents’ ashes were finally placed into the ground, and he very quickly fell asleep after he came back.

Hearing his brother’s soft snores, Tao Huainan knew he was very tired.

He beckoned in the direction of the wall and softly said, “Come here.”

Tao Huainan blinked his pair of large eyes when he didn’t hear any noise. He faced that direction and asked, “Are you there?”

He heard the sound of the cotton shoes only after a little while, the sound stopping in front of him. Tao Huainan sat there and leaned his upper body slightly forward, as if he was having a private conversation. “Eat my food.”

He’d peed in someone else’s food bowl, so that person could no longer eat. Tao Huainan pushed at his own food bowl to make up for it. “It hasn’t gone cold yet.”

The boy looked at the blind boy as he sat on top of the heated bed and then stared at the bowl. He was still only a seven or eight year old child, so he grabbed Tao Huainan’s spoon and finished off the food in a few bites.

Tao Huainan no longer felt staying together with the boy in the same house was as awkward as before.

Tao Xiaodong later noticed the two children would occasionally speak a few words to each other — standing not too far away and yet not too close, they would talk about a few things children would say to each other. 

Long pieces of icicles hung outside the window, melting a bit under the sun and falling once they could no longer hold themselves up. One fell onto the windowsill, and another knocked onto the window pane as it broke.

The abrupt sound of something knocking into the window glass shocked the unguarded Tao Huainan. Whenever he was afraid, he would always subconsciously open his mouth and widen his eyes into large circles.

Tao Xiaodong was outside the room speaking to someone about the old house, and he lifted the curtain to look inside and was about to head in to pick him up when he heard Tao Huainan softly ask, “What was that?”

That small boy heard his question, looked at him and said, leaning against the wall, “Ice.”

Tao Huainan had never seen such a thing before, and he’d long forgotten how it looked even if he’d seen it when he was younger before going blind. He thought someone was throwing ice at the window and sat there, a bit nervous.

After a little while, Tao Huainan softly asked again, “What ice?”

The boy was resting on his hands as he leaned against the wall and didn’t speak for a long while. Perhaps he didn’t know how to describe what ice was to a blind person. He stood there against the wall and then turned his head, lifted the curtain and ran out.

Tao Huainan moved his face towards the direction of outside, looking a little blank.

Tao Xiaodong saw that small child run outside before opening the door and running back in after a few minutes. He carried a long, long icicle piece. 

The old uncle choked and yelled out, “What are you doing! Don’t you touch Xiao Nan!”

The boy didn’t even look at him, running inside and throwing the icicle onto the heated bed. He pulled his arm away and rubbed his hand against his sleeve.

Tao Huainan blinked and asked, “What’s that?”

Without any expression on his face, that boy said, “Touch it yourself.”

So Tao Huainan reached out a hand and carefully shifted it across the heated bed, a bit shocked when he finally reached the icicle. His fingertips initially flinched back, but then he touched it again.

It was cold and slippery.

Tao Huainan grinned. “Ice?”

“Izecle1,” the boy calmly replied, sniffling as he spoke.

It didn’t feel as country-bumpkin when a small child spoke his own local dialect — the country accent only made him feel a bit more innocent. Tao Huainan copied him, stretching his vowels and accents and said, “Izecle.” 

He cracked up by himself after saying it out loud and repeated it once again.

He hadn’t seen many things, so he found even the smallest toy new and exciting. His hand froze as he kept touching it, and since there was no way ice could last on a heated bed, the icicle soon started to melt and spread everywhere.

Tao Huainan shifted over, not letting himself also get damp.

He put the long piece of ice in his hand and lightly poked his finger with the pointed side. The icicle was already no longer sharp, and it only left the impression of being a bit slippery.

Tao Huainan played by himself for a little while. Whenever his hand felt too cold, he’d place it onto the heated bed and take it away once it was warm again.

He happily played with this little toy and took the initiative to chat with the other little friend. He asked, “Why does your dad hit you?”

The boy twisted his head away and said he didn’t know.

Tao Huainan asked again, “Why don’t you run?”

No one wanted to bother with him, and he didn’t really care despite not hearing a response. He kept playing and remembered what he was talking about earlier, opening his mouth to ask once again, “Then why don’t you run?”

Maybe he was being too annoying, making the boy not want to stay with him. The boy soundlessly turned and ran off.

He didn’t come back after running off this time. He still hadn’t come back by the time the icicle in Tao Huainan’s hand fully melted away.

The two brothers were leaving the next morning. Tao Xiaodong didn’t sell the old house, asking their uncle to live there. That night, as Tao Xiaodong packed away their things, Tao Huainan sat by the side with his little blanket and peeled some melon seeds.

He didn’t eat the melon seeds after he finished peeling; he peeled them only for fun, the shells gathered together in a small pile. Tao Huainan occasionally tilted his ear towards the direction of the window and would continue peeling the seeds after not hearing anything.

Tao Xiaodong looked at him and asked, “Are you waiting for the Chi boy?”

Tao Huainan asked, “Why’d he run?”

Tao Xiaodong laughed. “You annoyed him with your words. Why shouldn’t he run if he didn’t want to hear them?”

Tao Huainan said, “Ah.”

The blind child very rarely spoke to other people, his world very small. The scope of his life was very narrow because he couldn’t see — he still had yet to start school despite being eight years old. There was no way for him to go to school by himself.

Other children his age all seemed to have lots of friends. He didn’t. People always feared the unknown as well as anything different from themselves, and children were especially fearful, instinctively afraid of the Tao Huainan who needed to grope his way around. 

Other than his brother and his brother’s friends, Tao Huainan’s little world contained only a large dog. He always talked to the dog, but because only he could speak, he had very little experience in talking with others.

Tao Huainan pressed his lips together and pushed the melon seed shells over to his brother, silently thinking: I don’t think I was annoying.

Because of those two careless questions, chatting without really understanding, Tao Huainan didn’t see that boy again by the time he left.

Before they left, he asked his brother, “Are we locking the door after we go?”

Tao Xiaodong said, “Second uncle will use the house now. It’s up to him whether or not he locks it.”

Tao Huainan asked again, “Then can he come back again? If his dad’s hitting him again.”

Tao Xiaodong didn’t answer that question as he cleaned up some final things, one hand lifting up Tao Huainan and the other hand carrying their luggage. They left the house and got into the car.

Even though they’d stayed together for so many days, Tao Huainan had no chance to say goodbye before they drove away.

The country road was covered by a layer of solid ice, the road too slippery for the car to drive quickly. It felt like it was snowing outside, and Tao Huainan was able to hear the tiny noises of the wind hitting into the car window.

There had been two urns filled with ashes sitting in their car when they’d first returned to this place. There was nothing left when they left. 

The car jolted quite badly on the country roads, and Tao Huainan clenched his two hands on the safety belt pulled over his body. His head was facing the direction of the car window, and he didn’t know what it looked like outside.

Everything should be white. It snowed very heavily here.

The car wasn’t sealed well enough, and Tao Huainan was a bit cold. He snuggled against the back of his seat, and after glancing at him, his brother told him to take a nap if he was sleepy.

Children always found it easy to fall asleep in the car. Tao Huainan yawned and nodded.

They left the village further and further behind — his mom, dad and brother had once lived there for many years. Now, his parents had returned.

Tao Huainan closed his eyes, occasionally waking up before falling back asleep. He fell deeply asleep in the midst of the left and right swaying of the bumpy road.

He slept heavily for a long time, until he was shocked awake by the sound of the door closing. He wasn’t quite awake yet, but he could feel the car was no longer moving.

“Ge?”

His brother wasn’t in the car.

The utter quiet around him wasn’t enough to really make Tao Huainan nervous. He closed his eyes and leaned back against his seat once again, pointing his ear to listen for any noises outside. He peacefully waited for his brother to come back.

He didn’t wait for long — his brother very quickly returned.

The car door was pulled open, and a shrill cry he’d heard before followed its way in. 

She spoke in a dialect, words coming quickly, and Tao Huainan could only understand that she was crying. He didn’t know what she was saying. Tao Huainan shrunk into his seat like a trembling quail.

His brother returned back into the driver seat, Tao Huainan reaching out a hand to touch him. He heard the old lady behind him tearfully beg, “Please save him! Tao’s little boy, please save him!”

Tao Huainan understood this time.

He even heard his brother respond, “Don’t keep hugging him, put him on the floor and let him lie on his back.”

The old lady wasn’t really able to move such a large boy. Tao Huainan heard the muffled sound of something knocking downwards, and then the old lady wailed, “He’s still shaking! So much blood!!!”

She kept crying, her sobs sometimes loud and sometimes soft, her curses mingled with despair.

The faint smell of blood started to spread throughout the car. Tao Huainan didn’t move, blinking his unseeing eyes and looking ahead with an empty gaze.

Later, his brother stopped the car in front of a county hospital and opened the back door to lift something up. He locked the door and told Tao Huainan to wait in the car.

Tao Huainan nodded, listening as his brother’s footsteps quickly moved away. He could also hear the disordered footsteps and panicked crying of the old lady.

The car once again returned to a peaceful quiet, but the diffused smell of blood stayed in the air.

Tao Huainan sat stiffly and slightly trembled. He was a bit afraid.

He’d heard that old lady’s cries before. She was the Chi boy’s grandmother.

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1 This is a poor attempt at making ‘icicle’ sound country-bumpkin. Icicle in Mandarin is 冰挂 (binggua), whereas this particular dialect/accent says 冰溜子 (bingliuzi).