Ferocious Dog of Old

His grandmother had given him this name. He hadn’t been registered1 when he’d been born, and when the village forced his family to register him when he was four years old, his grandmother thought for half a day before releasing a long, long sigh. “Then, just Chi Ku — he was born to suffer.” 

She had even said a child having a humble name would survive to adulthood easier; likewise, a child who had a humble life wouldn’t be able to afford a proud name.

His humble name truly did help him survive — Chi Ku had been so horribly abused by his father for so many years, and yet he was still alive. 

–

Tao Xiaodong frowned. “Who gave you that name?”

“My gran,” Chi Ku said.

Tao Xiaodong wanted to say something, but he didn’t end up opening his mouth. The child might not understand what his name meant or might not think his name was all that different. Tao Xiaodong flicked his head as he walked past him and said, “Quite artistic.” 

Tao Xiaodong went to the kitchen to make dinner for them, and the two younger boys sat on the sofa. Tao Huainan initially sat there peacefully, but he couldn’t hold it in after a while and said, “Your name really sounds terrible.”

Chi Ku looked at him and didn’t say anything.

Maybe Tao Huainan had forgotten he’d talked so much he talked the boy into running away; he started to chatter to Chi Ku by himself, “My mouth’s turned bitter just by listening. What’s so good about being bitter, it’d be so much better to be called Chi Tian2.” 

He didn’t stop chattering. “Don’t you find it bitter?”

Tao Xiaodong turned his head around to glance outside. He saw Chi Ku sitting there without any expression on his face, and he also couldn’t tell what he was thinking.

–

When the child’s grandmother had clutched at his arm and begged him to bring the child away with him, Tao Xiaodong had no real intention to truly take him away. If he took him, then that would mean he’d agreed to bear a life. Tao Xiaodong no longer had his parents, and he was still carrying his younger brother on his back; he truly didn’t have much energy left over to drag along another child.

The old lady had cried and begged for half a day, saying it would be fine just to give him food to eat.

No matter how much Tao Xiaodong had hardened his heart, it had still been swayed. Let alone the fact Tao family members had always had soft hearts.

The old lady had continued begging as he stayed silent — anyone would’ve been upset by her sorrowful, tearful pleas.

Tao Huainan, sitting in his arms, had one hand wrapped around his neck. He’d pursed his lips, and then shifted his face next to his older brother’s ear, softly and lightly saying, “Ge.”

–

Tao Huainan ate his bowl of dinner by himself, using his own large spoon. It was common for him to scoop around in his bowl for quite some time before bringing only a few grains of rice to his mouth. He should be used to it by now, as he didn’t look annoyed or like he was in any hurry. One hand supported his bowl, and he calmly sent food to his mouth one scoop at a time.

Tao Xiaodong occasionally placed some vegetables in his bowl. Tao Huainan needed so much effort to eat, and yet he didn’t look like he wanted to be fed at all.

Tao Xiaodong had fed him the last few days while they were at their old home — the two brothers had sat at one side as he’d fed Tao Huainan, while Chi Ku had held that big bowl and ate near the wall.

“When are we going to pick up Shi Yeye3, ge?” Tao Huainan asked.

“Aunt Tian’s brought him back to her old home.” Tao Xiaodong grabbed a tissue and wiped a few crumbs from Tao Huainan’s chin. 

“I miss him.” Tao Huainan once again sent food to his mouth, his mouth opened widely to bite onto the spoon. This time, it was a spoonful filled halfway.

“I know.” Tao Xiaodong briefly glanced at the Chi Ku who was only eating rice and gave him some of the other dishes. He then said to Tao Huainan, “Tian Yi-ge4 will bring him back over once they come back.”

Chi Ku actually couldn’t continue eating. He was still feeling uncomfortable, his head still spinning. His injured head had still yet to completely heal. He silently finished his entire bowl of food, and then sat there and watched Tao Huainan eat.

Tao Xiaodong asked him, “Full?”

Chi Ku’s nod looked a bit stiff.

Tao Huainan said, “I’m full too.”

“You hurry up and eat,” Tao Xiaodong scolded. “You’ve only eaten a few bites.”

Tao Huainan quite innocently said, “I can’t help it if I can’t bring it to my mouth. Ge, you feed me?”

Tao Xiaodong rubbed his head, laughing, and yet he still said, “Eat by yourself.”

–

Tao Huainan took half an hour to eat his dinner, and then he ate an orange after he finished. He held out half the orange after he finished peeling it, and when Chi Ku didn’t take it, he took it back and ate the whole thing by himself.

That night, Tao Xiaodong gave both of them a bath. He told the two children to take off their clothes and sit inside the tub. Tao Huainan sat on one end, a small, pale and delicate child, his body still covered in soft flesh; the other child shrank into the other end, not daring to move, bones jutting out from a thin layer of skin. Injuries and scars of all different sizes lay on his skin, and anyone who saw them would unconsciously frown.

Tao Huainan reached out a hand and groped for the body wash sitting on a shelf next to the tub. The body wash was for children, and it smelled sweetly milky — Tao Huainan held a loofah and scrubbed it all over his body. Tao Xiaodong left him alone and went to the cabinet to find a body exfoliator cloth.

Chi Ku didn’t quite dare move, the hot water stinging him from head to foot. He watched as Tao Huainan squished the loofah and rubbed it here and there all over his body, the water gradually filling with foam.

Tao Xiaodong grabbed a washrag, and after soaking it in the water, he placed it on top of Chi Ku’s thin little shoulders that were exposed outside of the water. 

“Just soak for a bit. I’ll scrub you down well after a little while.” Tao Xiaodong poured some water on his body and chuckled. “Look how dirty you are.”

Chi Ku sat in the hot water, his entire body burning and stinging, and yet he didn’t move.

Many times he was like a mute person, looking completely out of place and unharmonised with the environment around him.

Tao Xiaodong scrubbed him down twice, going around the injuries on his body that still looked quite painful. The child really was dirty — a lot of mud flaked off as he scrubbed. Tao Xiaodong started thinking of his own childhood as he cleaned him and said, “I was just like you when I was younger. I never showered when it was winter, and when it was summer I’d soak in the river.”

On the side, Tao Huainan chimed in, “Mom and Dad wouldn’t let you go in the river.”

“I didn’t listen,” Tao Xiaodong laughed out loud. “I wasn’t as obedient as you. Mom and Dad didn’t let me do many things, and I pretty much was hit almost every day.” 

“Dad did say you didn’t listen to him.” Tao Huainan thought of his parents, and then said, head lowered, “Dad said you were a naughty kid.”

“Mm, I was definitely naughty.” Tao Xiaodong laughed again, holding onto one of Chi Ku’s arms and bringing it closer for him so he could reach and scrub Chi Ku’s armpit. Chi Ku wasn’t afraid of being tickled; he was just unused to being scrubbed and was unused to being so close to someone, so he pulled his arm back and tried to shrink away.

“Don’t move,” Tao Xiaodong said to him.

After bathing for over an hour, both of the children’s hands were wrinkled from the water. Tao Huainan stroked his wrinkly fingers on his face and lips after he finished drying down — he enjoyed the different feeling, and he would always play like this for a long time afterwards.

Chi Ku was swathed in a large bath towel, and Tao Xiaodong carried him out and placed him on the sofa. Tao Huainan asked him, “Are your hands wrinkly?”

Chi Ku ignored him. 

Tao Xiaodong brought over a tube of ointment salve and spread it all over Chi Ku’s injuries. As a man, his hand wasn’t very gentle, and the pushing and rubbing against the injuries were actually very painful. But Chi Ku was used to being hurt, so this little bit of pain wasn’t much to him.

“In the future, you need to brush your teeth and wash your face in the morning and at night. You’ll also need to bathe at night.” After putting on the salve, Tao Xiaodong gave him a pair of pyjamas. “You can’t live like a mudskipper5 here. There are different rules for different places.”

Chi Ku nodded, and some snot once again leaked out of his nose. Tao Xiaodong gave him a piece of tissue.

–

That night, Tao Xiaodong slept together with Tao Huainan while Chi Ku slept in his own room. The city was so bright at night — after turning off the lights, the glow of the outside city still passed through the windows, and the yellow lights of the street lamps shined directly in, making everything clear.

Tao Huainan was very talkative, and he kept talking to his older brother about something. Tao Xiaodong patted him twice, telling him to hurry up, close his eyes and sleep.

Tao Huainan asked, “Is Chi Ku asleep?”

“Yes, all children are asleep. You are the last child in this neighbourhood who’s still not asleep at this hour.”

Tao Huainan said, grinning, “What a liar.”

Tao Xiaodong ignored him, so after a little while, Tao Huainan cast his hand around, searching for his brother’s ear, and then played with it by squeezing his earlobe. The little blanket covered his body, and when he was about to drift off, he suddenly remembered to ask, “Can Tian Yi-ge bring Shi Yeye home tomorrow?”

Tao Xiaodong said, “Not tomorrow.”

“Then the day after tomorrow?”

“I’m not sure.”

“Then how about the day after the day after tomorrow?” 

“Stop talking, go to sleep.”

Tao Huainan finally closed his eyes. Children tended to fall asleep quickly, so he was asleep after only a few seconds had passed. His little stomach rose up and down, Tao Huainan sleeping quite deeply.

–

That was how Chi Ku started to live in the city, in the home of the two Tao brothers.

He still spoke very rarely, always keeping silent with a face devoid of any expression.

At the start, Tao Huainan kept looking for things to talk to him about, but he kept ignoring him — so later on, Tao Huainan stopped talking.

Shi Yeye was Tao Huainan’s dog, a very, very old golden retriever. He was born in a litter of ten, and he was the tenth to be born. He used to be called Shi Tou6.

He used to be taken care of by Tian Yi’s grandmother. When she passed away, Tian Yi took care of him until one time Tao Huainan played with him for a long time while he was at Tian Yi’s place — Tian Yi then decided to gift him to Tao Huainan, as a playmate.

Because he was so old, Tao Huainan called him Shi Yeye.

Tao Xiaodong wasn’t at home every day, and sometimes he would come home very late. An auntie would come by when Tao Xiaodong wasn’t at home, and she would cook and wash their clothes for Tao Huainan and Chi Ku. She would also walk the dog.

Tao Huainan would occasionally follow along when she walked the dog. Chi Ku never went with them.

This nanny of theirs didn’t like Chi Ku, and her gaze always held her dislike as she never looked him in the eye. He never was a likeable child — not many people had liked him ever since he was born. All of the children from the Chi family were like that, harshly annoying people just from their looks.

–

Sometimes Tao Xiaodong wouldn’t be home even at night; the auntie would sleep on the sofa in the living room when he wasn’t home. Tao Huainan would sleep with his brother when he was home, and when he wasn’t, Tao Huainan would clutch his little blanket and go to sleep with Chi Ku.

Chi Ku turned over and made some space for him on the bed. The two of them each stayed on their own sides, Chi Ku sticking to the wall and Tao Huainan near the bed’s edge.

Tao Huainan always moved around in his sleep, and one night, he flipped over and flipped directly onto the floor.

Both of the children woke up. Tao Huainan groped all around him in panic; after being startled awake, everything surrounding him was stiffly, icily cold, and since he couldn’t see, he was scared enough to almost start crying.

Chi Ku crawled over and reached out a hand to save him.

Tao Huainan shakily cried out, not knowing what it was — he shifted backwards in fear.

Chi Ku jumped off the bed, and he looked a bit alarmed. He knelt next to Tao Huainan and said, “It’s me.”

Tao Huainan touched his arm, his palm cold from the floor. Chi Ku said again, “You fell on the floor. Get up.”

Holding Chi Ku’s arm, Tao Huainan rose up from the floor, his other hand stretched out to touch all around him. Chi Ku first sat on the bed, tugging at his own arm, and then once he felt the bed, Tao Huainan also gingerly got on.

“How’d I fall?” Tao Huainan asked, pouting. His face was covered by the unhappiness that came after panic, and his voice was still slightly trembling. 

“I don’t know.” Chi Ku had also been frightened. Hearing a loud thud in the middle of sleeping, he’d momentarily thought Chi Zhide had come home, shoving open the door.

The auntie in the living room slept very deeply. The two children had been so noisy, and yet she didn’t hear them at all.

Tao Huainan sat at the edge of the bed for a long time, keeping silent and yet not sleeping. Chi Ku sat with him.

Later, Chi Ku pushed Tao Huainan into the bed, telling him to sleep inside. Tao Huainan crawled in, dragging his blanket and covering himself with it before lying down. He stroked the wall, and also reached out and lightly touched the Chi Ku next to him.

Neither of the two children said anything. They fell into their own dreams with their arms next to each other.

–

1 China requires a household to register the birth of a child. I guess it’s similar to getting a birth certificate in a way, but Chinese people usually hold a household register booklet that lists out all the people in that particular family.
2 The tian used here is 甜, which means sweet.
3 The name in Chinese is 十爷爷 (shi yeye), literally meaning Tenth Grandpa.
4 No family relation here — the ge used in this context refers to one of Tao Xiaodong’s friends. Aunt Tian is Tian Yi’s wife.
5 Not sure why he was compared to a mudskipper! Maybe the whole dirty thing? Or maybe because mudskippers are fishes that can live on land — so possibly a reference to Chi Ku leaving his previous environment to a new one.
6 石头, literally means ‘stone’.