Chapter 9 - Messenger

After thinking about those words over and over again, I finally realized what had caused my heart to race and laughed. Even if I tried to cover it up, what was pushing my heart was rage.

***

The rage swallowed me bit by bit. It was like a rock that dropped where my love was, which rippled like water and spread. Soon, those countless shallow ripples transformed into a huge storm. 

‘Am I a fool or what? Why should I only think good things about that a*sh*le?’

After that realization, everything cleared up quickly. I decided on my direction from now on and smiled. Marina, quit being a saint. That’s what Elise does. No, she wasn’t a fool like me as she acted like a saint strictly for her profit. 

Honestly speaking, Kyles was just as bad as Elise. Why should I paint him in a good light? Why? I’m done with him, so why should I be doing that and cry over it? Marina, oh Marina. Stop trying to be a good girl and unleash your rage.

Who gave that b*stard the clothes that he was wearing? Who made the duvet and pillow that b*stard was sleeping on? Who bought the tea, the teacup, and the book he was reading? More importantly, who organized the important information to remember before his exam? It was you, Marina von Harrant, you idiot!

‘You hope for the best? Like hell you would! Be honest!’

I had to accept my true feelings because of the accusations that rang through my mind. Yes, I want him to fall into the depths of an abyss and feel the agony that I felt. I want him to lose everything that I had helped him to achieve and be miserable. Not only that, but I also want him to regret dumping me even if there’s no chance I’ll take him back.

Marina, don’t you ever grow soft. Don’t ever forget the shame and anger of today. That b*stard was a traitor for standing by the very enemy who laughed at me and looked down on me.

Memories of love? No, no. Those memories are all from the past and have no meaning left to them. Unless the relationship is ongoing, there’s no meaning to them anymore. They’re just like an image you get when you look at a bright light and close your eyes that will fade in a second. They’re that meaningless.

I hate him! He betrayed me, so he is my enemy too. It’s not a bad thing to hate a traitor. To hell with a ‘Goodbye!’ F*** off, Kyles!

There’s another person I need to get revenge on, the culprit behind all of this, Elise von Schuteiner. She’s a target that I repeatedly promised to get revenge on. Elise, I couldn’t understand you. You came to attack me first when I never harmed you and started a fight. All I did was ignore the fight that you were trying to start. I did it because I didn’t want to lose the few things that I had. Your cheesy bullying was endurable when I had people by my side. That’s why I ignored it.

But no, it will be different now. You’ve already taken one of my most precious things, so I will stop ignoring you for that. From now on, I will take on every one of those petty tricks that you try to do. Elise von Schuteiner, I accept that you are my enemy. I’ll make you desperately regret attacking me.

I won’t forgive either of you. You two had a good time making fun of me? Just watch. I’ll hurt and make you suffer more than the times you’ve deceived me, and I will show you how well I’ve lived. Like my dream, I’ll become a government official at the center. I’ll become so powerful that you two won’t even try to touch me.

Then, I’ll scoff and belittle Kyles, who will regret his actions as he watches me. Not only that, I’ll get back at Elise, who bullied, looked down, and stomped me to the ground. The reason why I didn’t retaliate all those times was because of that a*sh*le. Now that I’m no longer with Kyles, nothing is holding me back.

After promising to get revenge for myself, my mind seemed to have cleared up and organized. The world that felt like it was spinning had stopped. Although time had felt long and infinite, the carriage continued to run, and now we had arrived at our estate. 

Through the window, there was a familiar mansion that looked so small from afar. It was the mansion of count Harrant, my home, looking larger as we got closer. Soon, the carriage began to slow down. I realized it was going to stop, so I wiped away my tears. Ugh, my makeup must have been ruined. Fortunately, I could still smile, so it was alright. Even if… it was a bitter one.

“Marina, let’s get off. I fixed myself back into my gorgeous self at Rey’s words as he opened the door of the carriage. Then he added, “Hey, wipe your nose. It’s disgusting.”

Couldn’t he have said that nicer? Although he’s my knight, he talks like a douche! “Give me a handkerchief.”

I showed my hand, to which Rey sighed and handed over a handkerchief. I took it and blew my nose with it. Once or twice of it made my nose feel fresh. My nose was all clogged, so it was difficult to breathe. I didn’t think I would feel the necessity of Rey’s presence during a situation like this.

Disgusted, Rey responded, “Ugh, don’t give it back. You keep it. It’s nasty.”

‘Hah, do you really think I’ll dump it? This is a good quality cloth, so I’ll wash it and use it again.’ I then asked, “Daisy? Can you wash this?”

Daisy frowned and hesitantly took the handkerchief I gave her. Normally, I wouldn’t think too much about her actions as she was always true to herself, but today I was angry. It seemed that even she was looking down on me, so I added, “Give me back if you don’t want it. I’ll tell the head maid.”

“I’m sorry, my lady.”