Forbidden To Be Tempted

"Then what for?" Cheng Suran asked.

Su Wenjing remained speechless for a moment.

On the night when she went back that day, she suffered from insomnia and only fell asleep at dawn. She also had a long dream, dreaming that a little baby was crying in her arms. She couldn't calm down for a long time until she woke up. In the past few days, she seriously thought about whether she should take this opportunity to find Cheng Suran, and she also thought about why.

A sense of unwillingness, or an obsession, or, a little guilt?

"In fact, we don't really need to meet or recognize each other. It's been so many years; you have your life, I have mine. We're both doing fine separately. It's enough. We don't need to carry a relationship or disturb each other. That would be awkward," Cheng Suran said slowly, each word carefully chosen, unnervingly calm.

She was like a numb messenger, without any fluctuations in her eyes. She said she was doing fine.

Upon hearing this, Su Wenjing suddenly felt relieved, as if a weight had been lifted off her chest. She asked again, "What are you up to now? Maybe there's something I could help with. If we're not meant to be mother and daughter, being friends is still possible. Shall we exchange contact information?" She reached into her bag to take out a business card.

At that moment, Cheng Suran felt tempted. She considered her career, and her company, realizing that one could never have too many connections. But to do so would mean disrupting her existing life order, and she'd have to spend a long time untangling herself from emotional sensitivities.

She didn't want to feel that pain again.

"No need."

Cheng Suran smiled, gentle and courteous: "I think it's more appropriate for us to be strangers."

....

Source: https://www.jjwxc.net/onebook.php?novelid=4738582

This translation is originally posted on

love4baihe.blogspot.com

please read it there. and check out other stories too 

It was raining lightly.

It is cold in the late autumn night, and there are large and small puddles on the ground, like countless mirrors, reflecting the cold white light from the street lamps. This place is secluded with few people, and it is like a different world from the busy and congested urban area.

Sitting in the car, Jiang Yu ate the last pumpkin pie unhurriedly, looked down at the empty lunch box, and felt a little unfulfilled. These snacks were made by Ranran, and she had intended to eat them sparingly, but she couldn't resist—

And just like that, she finished them all.

She didn't know when the next time would be.

She wiped her mouth and hands, drank some water, covered the lunch box and put it back in the paper bag, and glanced at the restaurant door. Just in time, Cheng Suran came out.

The waiter held an umbrella for her and escorted her all the way to the car, Jiang Yu hurriedly opened the door. A gust of cold wind rushed in, Cheng Suran got into the car, without saying a word, and fastened her seat belt on her own.

"How did it go?" Jiang Yu asked with concern.

Cheng Suran seemed lost in thought. She turned her face, her gaze somewhat distant. "What?"

"That Ms. Su... Did you know her before?"

"Oh, a fellow villager."

She smiled lightly and turned back.

Jiang Yu felt something was wrong with her, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it. Just as she was about to ask, Cheng Suran urged, "Let's go. I want to go back and rest."

"Okay."

She had to swallow her words.

As the car left the restaurant's vicinity, the rain grew heavier. Countless tiny water droplets splattered against the window, blurring the view of the street outside. The red, blue, and yellow lights mixed into a muddled mess.

Cheng Suran leaned her head against the car window, looking at the wet street outside, one light after another passed through her eyes, but nothing remained.

Her eyes were like empty pools of stagnant water.

Entering the urban area during the peak evening rush hour, they encountered starts and stops due to heavy traffic.

The green light at a crossroads was brief, and just as they were about to reach the intersection, it started blinking, turning from yellow to red. Jiang Yu had to slow down and stop in the second position, waiting for a lengthy two or three minutes.

The rain continued to fall, the car remained stuck, and the heater blew air that made breathing difficult.

Jiang Yu turned on the player casually.

The music that hadn't finished playing last time resumed, ending after about half a minute and automatically transitioning to the next song. The slow guitar intro flowed gently, profoundly, and warmly, with a familiar melody.

"...Tuck it at the tip of your hair, hold it in my heart, accompanying you as you grow up... It's as if I've never left your side..."

A clear female voice echoed in their ears.

Cheng Suran's eyes welled up, her vision blurred, feeling warm liquid sliding down her cheeks.

The turbulent emotions were rampaging in her heart, like a roaring beast, trying to crush and devour her. She took a deep breath, bit her lips tightly, and swallowed the sobs.

Halfway through the music, the green light finally came on.

Jiang Yu hurried through the intersection.

There are still three kilometers away from Marina Bay. This eight-lane road is spacious. She was about to step on the accelerator to speed up, but during the gap between the music changing, the car suddenly became quiet. She heard a slight gasp beside her...

"Ranran?"

Cheng Suran was huddled in her seat, her head tilted, and motionless.

The light and shadows from the street lamps illuminated her, her body trembling uncontrollably as if she was desperately holding something back.

Jiang Yu's heart sank and she gripped the steering wheel tightly. Parking is not allowed on this road, and there is a large shopping mall on the right at the intersection not far ahead. She slowly changed lanes and drove the car into the basement of the shopping mall.

There were a lot of empty berths, Jiang Yu found a corner to park, got out of the car in a hurry, and went around to the other side.

The music stopped abruptly.

"Ranran..."

The passenger door suddenly opened, and Cheng Suran nearly fell out. Her mind snapped back to reality, and Jiang Yu quickly reached out to catch her. "What's wrong? Are you feeling unwell?"

The interior light turned on, casting a warm yellow glow that was slightly harsh on the eyes. She felt like a clown exposed under the sun, with nowhere to hide. She was flustered and panicked, like a child struggling to avoid something, turning her face away.

Even so, Jiang Yu still saw her red eyes and tear stains on her face.

Her bad premonition was indeed accurate.

Jiang Yu's heart ached, but experience told her that she couldn't rush things right now. She didn't press for answers. Instead, she held Cheng Suran quietly, one hand gently stroking her hair. "It's okay, Ranran. If you're hungry, eat; if you're tired, sleep; if you're feeling bad, cry. Nothing is embarrassing about it."

"Even if you don't trust others, you can trust me, your elder sister."

The woman in her arms trembled even more.

Jiang Yu hugged her even tighter and lowered her head to kiss the broken hair on her temple.

Suddenly, Cheng Suran tilted her head and buried her face into Jiang Yu's arms, choked up, and said, "She...she is my mother..."

"What? Your mother?"

"Mm."

In an instant, Jiang Yu understood everything.

She still remembers that a few years ago, when Ranran was injured on Lingbai Mountain to save her, she stayed in the hospital for more than half a month. She asked her why she didn't tell her parents, and why didn't she go back home; it turned out she also has a broken family.

"She told me today..." Cheng Suran took a breath and said everything in one go.

The grievances that have been held in her heart for more than ten years were like flash floods.

She thought she had grown up and thought she wouldn't care, but the moment she heard the lyrics, she remembered a lot. Those sadness, bitterness, and grievances have been deeply buried in her heart and never dissipated.

It was like downing a bottle of strong wine, with a delayed impact that gradually hit harder. It was like being injected with an ineffective painkiller, where the pain multiplied and spread.

"In the Cheng family, I am a burden, in the Su family, I am a mistake... No one wants me." Cheng Suran lay in Jiang Yu's arms, tightly clutching her clothes with both hands, repeating the last sentence over and over again.

No one wants her.

In the empty and quiet parking lot, the weeping sobs were magnified, and the sharp words pierced deeply into Jiang Yu's heart like a thorn.

Jiang Yu's eyes turned red.

She is the same, no one wants her, she is a "stray child" who has been wandering mentally since she was a child. Even when she grew up, and can love herself and give herself a home, there is always a fragile child in her heart, who will feel uneasy and doubt everyone because of trivial emotional triggers.

"Ranran…"

With tears in her eyes, Jiang Yu rubbed her hair with her cheek, "It's not like that, those people are not worthy of being by your side, they are not worthy to be remembered, they don't deserve that privilege.

Every word of her comforting reassurance seemed to reach deep within Cheng Suran's heart.

As if going back to a few years ago, the night before they returned to Jiangcheng from Lingzhou, when they talked about their family, Jiang Yu's words were still engraved in her heart - don't look back, keep going.

How could there be a person in this world who understood her so well?

"Mm, I know...I know...go forward and don't look back." Cheng Suran gritted her teeth sorely.

Jiang Yu closed her eyes and wept silently.

If only she had been more cautious, more meticulous, and thoroughly investigated Su Wenjing's background and identity. If she had, she would never have allowed the two to meet, and she wouldn't have hurt Ranran. She bore an inescapable responsibility for tonight's events.

Cheng Suran's emotions came and went quickly, and after a while, her tears dried up. She calmed down slowly, pulled away from Jiang Yu's embrace, and looked around, only to realize that this place was a parking lot.

"Ranran?"

"I'm fine, come in quickly, it's cold outside."

She shook Jiang Yu's hand, raised her head, and vaguely saw tears on her face by the light, "Were you... crying?"

Jiang Yu didn't answer, turned around and closed the passenger door, walked around to the other side, and got into the car, but she just sat with her head bowed and didn't intend to leave.

The temperature in the car gradually rose again.

There was an eerie silence...

Cheng Suran thought that her negative energy had affected her, and was about to say something, but Jiang Yu spoke before her: "I'm sorry."

"?"

"It's because I wasn't cautious enough and careless. I shouldn't have agreed to her meeting with you. Without me, these things wouldn't happen today." She raised her head and looked at Cheng Suran with guilt.

If she hadn't invited Ranran to the trade fair out of selfishness, Su Wenjing would not have seen and recognized Ranran, let alone all the following things.

She is the culprit for all this.

"But it's not entirely a bad thing for me." Cheng Suran smiled at her sideways.

"I'm actually relieved that Su Wenjing ran away. At least it proves she's not someone who passively accepts things, she knows when to cut her losses. If she didn't run, if she kept enduring that kind of life, I would have had a weak, indecisive, habitually helpless mother. I would have become her negativity receptacle, her garbage collector, living a lifetime in pessimism...

That will be another form of nightmare.

"Moreover, this meeting also made me understand that my language talent is probably inherited from her. She can speak three foreign languages, has studied abroad, and has an IQ and appearance. I'm probably a bit like her in many ways."

"Fortunately, I'm not like my father, not like the Cheng family."

The light illuminated her eyes.

"You see, God still cares for me very much. I am luckier than many people. The noble person I met when I was six years old helped me indirectly when I was twenty. But at the same time, God is also fair and always makes me suffer a little bit. That's all right, or else I might get adrift and stumble into a big mess.

She showed a relieved smile, stretched out her hand to Jiang Yu, and spread her palm.

"It's not because of you, it's fate's choice."

There seemed to be little flames dancing in those eyes.

Jiang Yu looked at her, and gently held her hand, "I should thank you..."

"Why thank me?"

Her lips moved, but she didn't answer.

These words also reminded her to a large extent that she is a bit lucky compared to most people. She cannot choose her past family, but she can control her future life. The ancients said that good and bad depend on each other, God is fair, and as long as she does what she should do, everything will be arranged by itself.

"Will she bother you?"

"Huh?"

"After not contacting you for over a decade, suddenly recognizing you today, I'm worried..." Jiang Yu extended her other hand, enclosing Cheng Suran's hand in her palm.

The warm touch flowed on their skin, like an intense electric current, Cheng Suran trembled, wanting to pull away, but at this moment, she was a little greedy for this warmth.

"She won't. I told her that from now on, we can only be strangers. I don't want any contact with her, and I don't want to be disturbed by her."

"That's good." Jiang Yu heaved a sigh of relief.

Cheng Suran asked again: "Did you tell her what kind of food I like to eat?"

Jiang Yu's eyes had already told her the answer.

Yes.

"The last time you and Miss Wen invited me to dinner, I paid attention when she was ordering food at the hotel. You said you didn't like waffles, but you didn't say you didn't like pudding, so..."

Cheng Suran let out a soft "Oh" and avoided her gaze, a little turbulence arose in her heart.

She took her hand back.

Losing that piece of warmth, her heart felt empty.

....

Jiang Yu sent Cheng Suran to the gate of the community and watched her go in. She didn't look away until the figure disappeared around the corner.

The rain has stopped.

Dark low clouds obscured the moonlight.

Jiang Yu didn't leave immediately, but took out her mobile phone, opened WeChat, found the chat box between her and Su Wenjing, and clicked in.

She wants to say something.

[Miss Su, Cheng Suran has already told me about your relationship with her. As a friend who cares about her physical and mental health, I hope you will not bother her in the future.] 

She quickly typed out a whole sentence, read it carefully, and always felt that something was inappropriate.

The relationship between her and Ranran wasn't close enough for her to meddle in this matter. Considering her surface identity, it would be even more inappropriate to inquire...

After thinking it over, Jiang Yu deleted this message.