Forbidden To Be Tempted

Walking out of the clinic, the slightly hot night wind blows head-on, and the two walked to the car without saying a word. Suddenly, Cheng Suran let go of Jiang Yu's hand: "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't insist on having crabs."

The corners of her eyes were a little red.

Jiang Yu let out a sigh of relief, smiled, and brushed away the wind-blown hair on her forehead: "I wanted to give you a surprise."

"It's quite a surprise." Cheng Suran said through gritted teeth.

This person doesn't know how anxious she was when she couldn't find her. It was because she had selfishly invited her friend without permission. It had caused some discomfort for Jiang Yu. She clearly knew Jiang Yu's feelings, yet she wanted to prove something, but what exactly she was unsatisfied with and what she was fighting for remained unclear.

Apart from making herself and Jiang Yu uncomfortable, it had no meaningful purpose.

"Are you angry with me?" Jiang Yu took her hand and held it in her palm.

The itchy, rough touch of the gauze against her skin is like thousands of small bugs gnawing on it, flowing from her fingertips to the bottom of her heart. At this moment, Cheng Suran let go of her obsession, she shook her head lightly: "No. You kindly caught crabs for me to eat, why should I be angry, I was just..."

Just worried about you.

She still couldn't get the words out of her mouth, so she could only look at Jiang Yu like this.

Jiang Yu seemed to understand the look in her eyes. In an instant, her thoughts became eager and restless. "As long as it's something you say, I'll keep it in my heart. Your wishes are mine to fulfill to the best of my ability."

"Because...seeing you happy makes me happy too."

She held Cheng Suran's hand tightly.

The surroundings were quiet, hidden in a corner behind towering trees, unnoticed by anyone. Only the warm breeze carried the voice into her ears, rippling in her heart.

Cheng Suran snorted and turned her head away, but a slight smile tugged at the corner of her mouth.

"Actually..." Her voice trembled a little.

"When I couldn't find you just now, I thought we were going to miss each other again."

As she spoke, she blinked rapidly, swallowing down the bittersweet warmth. Turning back, the deep black of her eyes still held a glistening sheen.

Jiang Yu held her tightly. "That won't happen."

"Just like these past few months, every time I couldn't find you, I thought there was no possibility between us. But when you appear in front of me, I feel at ease. This time, we won't miss each other again..."

Cheng Suran hummed lightly and buried her face in the crook of her neck.

The evening wind made the leaves rustle while they hugged each other. Time seemed to stand still, as their senses automatically blocked out everything else, leaving only the sound of their deep breaths.

—gulu

Cheng Suran's stomach growled.

"..."

Jiang Yu suppressed a smile and patted the back of the person in her arms. "Let's go, we'll have a barbecue. They should have already started."

They barbecued on the beach for over two hours. Cheng Suran kept in mind that Jiang Yu had injured her hand and couldn't handle things easily. From start to finish, she didn't let her touch the food, instead, she prepared them and gave them to her, completely forgetting that Jiang Yu still had one uninjured hand.

She cared for Jiang Yu but neglected herself.

Wen Ruoxian noticed everything, didn't say anything, and placed the grilled food in Cheng Suran's bowl first, afraid that she might go hungry.

Undercurrents surge in the joyful atmosphere, and everyone has secret thoughts.

Amidst the merriment, only she couldn't savor the food.

....

It was already late at night when they got back to the homestay.

Pei Chutong indulged once tonight, ate a lot, and drank a lot, her drunken footsteps were unsteady, while Ruan Mu supported her and quickly led her into the room.

Only three people were left outside the room.

"How will you take a shower? Do you need me to help..." Cheng Suran looked at Jiang Yu's bandaged hand, but her words suddenly faltered halfway.

Wen Ruoxian raised her head abruptly.

The dim light under the eaves of the corridor shone over, reflecting her slightly pale face. Jiang Yu glanced at her and smiled at Cheng Suran: "It's okay, I can do it myself, you guys go to bed early."

Cheng Suran didn't think too much and just nodded slightly.

"Good night."

Seeing Jiang Yu enter the room, she reluctantly looked away, took out the room card, swiped it to open the door to her room, and stepped ahead of Wen Ruoxian.

She put down her bag and sat down on the sofa.

"Ruoxian, take a shower first, I want to rest for a while." She raised her head and closed her eyes.

"Okay."

Wen Ruoxian glanced at her for a moment, then took off the light long-sleeved jacket she was wearing and placed it on the table. The weather on the island was hot, and she had sweated quite a bit during the afternoon. She needed to do some laundry later.

She grabbed her pajamas and headed into the bathroom.

Cheng Suran remained slumped on the sofa for a while, listening to the sound of water splashing onto the tiled floor like her own heartbeat. She took slow, deep breaths again and again.

She got up and walked to the table, took out her mobile phone from her bag, replied to the WeChat messages one by one, and sent Jiang Yu another one:

[Good night.]

Jiang Yu replied in seconds: [Good night.]

Followed by a cute smiley emoji.

Satisfied, Cheng Suran put down her phone, remembering that she still had laundry to do, so she picked up the laundry basket.

There were two pieces of clothing on the table. One was the outfit she had worn when she left Jiang City, which she had changed out of upon arrival. The other... was the thin sun-shielding outer shirt that Wen Ruoxian had been wearing. She tossed her own clothes into the basket and casually grabbed Wen Ruoxian's jacket, glancing towards the bathroom.

"Ruoxian—" She knocked on the glass door.

"Do you want to wash the clothes you just took off? I'll put them in the basket with mine and wash them together later."

Wen Ruoxian replied: "Okay."

Cheng Suran was about to put the jacket into the basket when she suddenly remembered something. Muttering to herself, "There's nothing in the pockets, right?" She reached into the left pocket, felt around, and found it empty. Then, she reached into the right pocket and felt a square piece of cardboard.

She didn't pay much attention to it, taking it out and placing it casually on the table. However, her gaze inadvertently flickered over it...

It's a palm-sized photo.

A woman wearing a light green dress stood in front of an old, artistic building. Her long hair was flowing, her smile was radiant, and two faint dimples appeared on her cheeks.

Cheng Suran was startled.

Isn't that her?

During the summer two years ago, she and Ruoxian had traveled to Italy, leaving traces of their laughter everywhere they went. Ruoxian had taken many photos of her and compiled them into a commemorative album. This was just one of those photos.

Why would this particular photo be tucked into the pocket by itself? Cheng Suran tightly held onto the photo, flipping it over, and found that there were words written on the back.

[Für dich wein' und schrei und lach und leb ich...] (1)

"?"

It seemed to be in German.

She opened a translation app, captured the phrase, and after a few seconds, the Chinese translation appeared: 'My joy, anger, sorrow, and happiness are all for you'

Cheng Suran took a sharp breath.

In an instant, like frames from a replaying movie, scenes flashed before her eyes. The thick sketchbook, Ruoxian's anxious gaze, her stubborn insistence at the airport, and today's urgent responses...

[I have someone I like.]

[Who?]

[She's not here, and...she doesn't like me.]

[Ah, that's a pity.]

With the mid-autumn night dialogue echoing in her ears, Cheng Suran's face turned pale, as if her throat was strangled by a pair of invisible hands, she couldn't breathe and lost all senses.

The sound of running water stopped at some point.

After a while, the bathroom door opened, and Wen Ruoxian came out while wiping her hair: "Ranran, I've finished washing, you..."

She froze.

Cheng Suran turned her face slowly and stiffly, meeting her gaze.

The bath towel slipped to the floor.

Seeing the photo clenched in Cheng Suran's hand, Wen Ruoxian's complexion changed abruptly. A sense of chaos filled her deep eyes. The usually gentle and composed person quickly stepped forward, taking the photo away from her and holding it tightly in her hand. "Why did you—"

Her tone seemed reproachful, but more than that, it was filled with panic.

"Sorry…"

Cheng Suran snapped back to reality, feeling a bit lost. "I didn't mean to invade your privacy. I was just worried about finding something in the pockets when doing laundry, and I didn't want it to get wet."

"Oh, it's okay, I don't mean to blame you."

After all, she is also a person with rich experience. Wen Ruoxian quickly regained her composure, smiled at her, turned around to get her bag, and was about to stuff the photo into it.

"Ruoxian..." Cheng Suran called her softly.

"Why do you carry my picture with you?"

Wen Ruoxian smiled nonchalantly: "Because I think this shot is very beautiful."

"But there are words on the back."

"..."

Cheng Suran took two steps forward: "I checked, it means 'My joy, anger, sorrow, and happiness are all for you'

"..."

A long silence, as if the mute button had been pressed.

The light flowed like water, gently enveloping their shadows. Wen Ruoxian stood there stiffly, her smile frozen at the corner of her lips. After a while, she explained in a low voice, "It's a line from a song."

"Why did you write the lyrics on the back of my photo?

"..."

An ambiguous lyrics.

There was no need to ask further, Cheng Suran thought. She stared at Wen Ruoxian's face without turning away, taking a deep breath. "Ruoxian, on the night of the Mid-Autumn Festival, you said there was someone you liked, and that person was..."

"It's you."

Wen Ruoxian slowly raised her head.

The photo was crumpled in her hands, her gaze held an unprecedented sense of sorrow, as if she was on the verge of plummeting into an abyss in the next moment. And she, willingly, generously, was ready to go.

Finally—

Cheng Suran was struck by lightning.

Her conjecture was verified. Even though she was mentally prepared, she still couldn't believe it when she heard Ruoxian say it.

Looking back on all those years of their interactions, she realized that there had been signs all along.

Ruoxian remembered casual remarks she had made, she would leave her family behind and travel thousands of miles to be by her side during holidays, she knew all her little habits and preferences. She always smiled when she saw her, and often blushed in front of her, and while she was usually serious and reserved at work, she never lost her temper in her presence.

Her gaze upon her was like a blazing fire, yet she carefully avoided intimate gestures.

When she was happy, Ruoxian was happy; when she was sad, Ruoxian was sad. Ruoxian's joys and sorrows were like a kite, with the string in her hand.

But she regarded all these as pure friendship.

From childhood to adulthood, Cheng Suran had almost no close friends. She didn't like to approach others proactively, and she didn't like others to approach her too enthusiastically. She had never had a serious relationship but only knew the feeling of liking someone secretly, and this liking used to be a thorn in her heart.

She had thought that friendship was like this—close friends could be like family. She didn't even know what true love looked like; she had believed it was just the way she had been a few years ago. But now she realized how much Wen Ruoxian resembled her when she had a crush on Jiang Yu.

Why didn't she notice it sooner?

What should she do? Tell Ruoxian that she has someone she likes? Will they never be friends again? How will they get along and face each other in the future? Did confessing mean losing this friend forever?

The floor-to-ceiling windows of the balcony are open, allowing the humid night breeze to gently enter the room, swaying the curtains. The faint laughter of the late returning tourist could be heard from outside.

"Really?" Cheng Suran asked again with a trembling voice.

"Mm."

A hint of despair appeared in Wen Ruoxian's eyes, followed by a resigned calmness.

She's done for.

She was going to lose Ranran.

In the past, there had only been her by Cheng Suran's side.

She is the one who understands Ranran the most, she is the closest to Ranran, and she is the one who talks to Ranran all the time. Over time, she had an illusion that they have an "understanding" with each other, but they have no so-called status.

She once thought that instead of taking the risk of piercing that layer of window paper, it would be better to maintain this state forever. They accompany each other, grow together, and grow old together.

But Jiang Yu's appearance completely messed her up.

Jiang Yu knew Ranran earlier than her and was superior to her in terms of personal aura and social status. The most terrible thing was that she found that Ranran looked completely different in front of Jiang Yu.

It was a kind of crazy infatuation and admiration, a heart-fluttering state where she seemed to be falling in love but had to restrain herself.

She could no longer lie to herself. Anxiety forced her to lose her mind, and before she could think clearly, she recklessly got involved, making Ranran unhappy and embarrassing herself.

"I developed many copies of the photos, and I carry it with me every day. Seeing the photo is like seeing you."

"What about the sketches?"

"I draw them whenever I have free time. In my heart, you look beautiful at any moment."

"When... when did it start?"

"I don't know either. Maybe it started from the point when I started wanting to see you every day, from the moments we shared countless things and endless conversations, from the time I wanted to completely occupy your private moments..."

Wen Ruoxian smiled wryly.

The backlog of affection in her heart poured out like a flood, but she felt relaxed. The matter had come to this point, and it was futile to conceal it. The nerves that had been tense for days were overwhelmed and finally broke. Before losing everything completely, it was better to have a heartfelt conversation.

However, every uttered word felt like digging into her own heart, it hurt so much. The two looked at each other quietly across the bed.

Under the shadow of the lamp, that face turned gray and bloodless, like a fragile piece of paper, and the flames in those eyes had been extinguished, leaving a chaotic pool of stagnant water.

Cheng Suran was like a puppet, her lips opening and closing, but she couldn't say anything.

Until Wen Ruoxian called out her intimate nickname—

"Ranran."

"Do you like Jiang Yu?"

Author's Note:

PS: (1) The lyrics on the back of the photo are from "Fur Dich "