31

If it was up to him, Gibbs didn’t want to go to the lakeside, as that’s where he last saw Deepa – at least what he thought was Deepa. Never would he have guessed that it was a ghost. Thinking about it again gave him the shivers. In his life, he had never thought of encountering a ghost. He’s not saying that he didn’t believe in these things… but, he can’t really explain it. He just never thought something like that would happen to him.

His mistake that night was that he left Fara’s talisman when he went to see Deepa. If not, there’s no way that Deepa would be able to materialise herself in front of him. Again, Gibbs didn’t really believe in talismans, but since it had proven useful for a few occasions, it was hard for him to reject it.

Gibbs went to the lakeside that night to calm his mind. One more habit of Gibbs known only to Ray – it’s easier for him to feel calm at places with water. Lake, river, sea. The problem was that there’s no sea near CGTSS and there’s no way he would go to a river this late at night.

Gibbs remembered what KJ said. The more he thought about it, the more logical it became. Ray never did ask to become a part of their group. He inadvertently joined them after Gibbs saved him from a bullying. Gibbs was already friends with KJ and Troll at that time.

Perhaps Ray was originally affected by peer pressure, but when he became more mature, he wanted to be independent – and didn’t really agree with how the group worked. Maybe Ray had a secret of himself.

Ah, but it can’t be that he’s hiding it from me?

But… even Gibbs had hidden something from Ray when he first started going out with Fara. It’s not impossible for Ray to be hiding something.

When thinking from that angle, it felt like everyone was hiding something. KJ, Troll… maybe even Fara?

Gibbs sighed. This was problematic. Gibbs’ paranoid brain had shifted to gear 3. Could he be planning to live his whole life like this? Being suspicious of everybody around him?

Thus, to kill off that feeling of curiosity, Gibbs decided to open his eyes and ears. He must stay alerted. Maybe he would find what he wanted.

Recess time that was usually spent with Fara was changed to patrolling around Ray’s class. Gibbs wanted to invite Ray to hang out… or even directly rendezvous at Bintang Coffee Shop. He thought of inviting KJ too but it’s impossible to ride a bike with three people. Ever since Troll was gone, they had a little problem with transportation. KJ wasn’t close enough to coach Fakhri to borrow his bike. But still, KJ never complained about not being able to fly. It’s weird. He used to do so almost every day when they found out that Fara became the SL – afraid that he can no longer fly.

Gibbs passed by Ray’s class. He could see Ray from afar, sitting alone. You lied, KJ. He’s depressed even in class.

Just as he was about to enter the class from the back door, he saw a male student talking to Ray from the front door.

“Woi, teacher wants to see ya!” yelled the student.

Who’s this? I’ve never seen him before. Must be a junior. How dare a junior yell at a senior like that.

Gibbs watched from a distance. Ray got closer to the guy, exchanging some information – and then he walked out – not realising that Gibbs was right behind him.

The teacher that wants to see him… I bet he’s going to admonish Ray.

It’s not the first time that this happened. Because of his active involvement in drama, there were some teachers who tried to slow-talk him to stage something “with moral”. So lame! What’s more, the rumours of Ray being bisexual had reached some teachers’ ears. This made them lecture him and telling him the story of the Prophet Lot’s people. What’s funny was that after the teacher finished telling the story spiritedly, Ray finally spoke… “You do know that I’m a non-Muslim, right?”

The teacher was speechless. “What’s your full name?” the teacher finally asked.

“Raymond de Silva.”

Ray told about how the teacher’s face turned beet-red – while he was narrating the story, KJ was already laughing like someone who didn’t have enough oxygen to breathe, while Troll let out his giant’s laugh. Gibbs who had heard of the story earlier simply smiled – it was normal for him to hear stories from Ray earlier than the others.

Because of his embarrassment, the teacher started blabbering nonsense. For no reason, the Malay special privilege came out. The teacher said that previously, CGTSS was opened only for Malays, it’s easier then – more organized, more moralistic. Ray stood in silence, too lazy to bother. That’s just how Ray was – if he felt that the dialogue wasn’t on his level of intellect, he wouldn’t care about it. If it was the mischievous Gibbs, he would heat things up. If not, how come Old Lan would get a heart attack every time he spoke to Gibbs?

Gibbs tailed Ray. He purposely didn’t let Ray know of his presence – he wanted to spy on Ray’s movements. Just as he was about to distance himself a bit (Gibbs learned from a film that the optimum method in spying was “one car behind”… but was he even using a car now? No, right?), Gibbs saw Ray suddenly being pulled behind a block.

Shit! Sofil!

And for the nth time, Gibbs rushed to save Ray.

“Ray is in a hospital?”

If the question was voiced like he was even a little bit concerned, Gibbs wouldn’t be so angry. But KJ sounded sceptical like he didn’t believe what was told!

“Duh! He’s in the hospital!”

“Sofil beat him up?”

“Then what else?”

“And you beat him up back?”

Gibbs snorted. “I know that in this group, Troll is the one usually doing the beating. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t beat people up.”

“No. That’s not what I meant…”

KJ was silent, pondering.

He’s doing a sudden deliberation now?

“Hoi! Do you even get what I’m saying? Ray’s in the hospital.”

“But he wasn’t beaten up, right?”

“No. He just fainted.”

KJ made a small laugh. “That guy sure is fainting a lot lately…”

Is that… a joke? Am I supposed to laugh? Is it funny?!

KJ realised that Gibbs was eyeing him like he was about to eat him, so KJ immediately changed his facial expression, making it serious. “It’s fine if he just fainted. He’ll be discharged in a short while.”

“Don’t tell me we’ll just wait for him here? Let’s go visit him!”

KJ sighed again. A sigh of an elementary school teacher who was facing with his student who had an understanding problem, Gibbs. “Gibbs, think about it. You said that you beat Sofil up, right?”

“Ye!”

“Sofil… is in the hospital too, right?”

“So what?”

“The hospital must be filled with teachers now. If Sofil said that you’re the one who beat him up, won’t things become problematic?”

Gibbs was silent. “Ah! If that Sofil mentions me, I’d still get it sooner or later, right?”

“Even so, don’t make trouble at the hospital. If anything, let’s just solve it here. It’s logical, right?” said KJ.

Gibbs sighed while sitting on his bed. KJ sat facing him with a smile. “What happened to the cool Gibbs, man? You’re keep being anxious for no reason lately,” commented KJ nonchalantly.

Gibbs was quiet.

“Gibbs, you gotta take it easy. Don’t let yourself go mad because of Ray. It’s not worth it.”

“Not worth it? Ray is…”

“Our friend! Yes! God, I get it! But if he doesn’t want to be our friend anymore, what can you do? Force him? Grow up, Gibbs!”

Gibbs felt like getting up and let KJ have a taste of his knuckle sandwich. His fighting spirit was still there – it’s a waste to just let it leave like that. But if Gibbs did that, what could he even prove? He’d just indirectly prove that he’s acting childishly like what KJ said.

“All I’m saying is, Gibb… you can still enjoy your time here. But you gotta learn to let go of certain things. Among them might be Ray…”

And again, Gibbs went out of the room without a word.