44

When the full dress rehearsal finished, the stage was emptied – the stage that was still filled with fake blood because of the last scene that involved a shooting.

After Khalil made sure that there were only him together with another entity in the auditorium, Khalil turned on the light for the audience floor. Gibbs was seen sitting in the middle of the auditorium while still looking confused. Khalil walked to him.

“What’s this, Ray?” Gibbs asked.

Ray… a name that Khalil had stopped using ever since he converted into a Muslim. He didn’t really have to change his name even if he changed his religion to Islam, but he wanted to run away from that name. The name that reminded him of the only survivor of the incident that reaped the life of his three friends – Gibbs, Troll and KJ.

And Ray chose the name Khalil – to make it similar to Gibran (it was supposed to be Kahlil, but the National Registration Department officer misspelled it). Gibran – the only person that Ray/Khalil loved in his life.

And now, Gibran stood in front of Khalil – too bad not as a living being.

“Ray, you said that the story is about us,” said Gibbs.

“Right,” replied Khalil.

“But…”

“Why do you think that you and Fara are no longer intimate like usual? Not just intimate… you can’t even hold her hand, right?” said Khalil.

“That’s because she’s the one…”

“She’s not a ghost, Gibbs. She… came back to the school to be with you. She works here. As a counsellor,” explained Khalil.

Gibbs was silent.

“It’s 2021, Gibbs. Not 2011.”

Looking at the Gibbs who was still speechless, Khalil continued, “The talisman that she wore… she took it from your hand when you died in the ambulance. I was there. She wore it to remember you. You know that Fara, even if she wore it, it wouldn’t have any effect. She could still see…”

Khalil didn’t have the heart to say the word ‘ghost’. His tongue was still heavy to admit, even though he knew that his task was to make Gibbs realise.

Suddenly, the auditorium door smashed open. But nobody came in.

“How could you do this, Ray…”

The voice came from a corner of the auditorium. KJ’s figure was seen standing in the middle of the auditorium while looking at Gibbs and Khalil.

“How could you do this to me?” said KJ again, this time he was directly next to Khalil.

Khalil was frozen shocked. He was scared of KJ’s appearance, especially since the door-less room incident. He knew that it was KJ who did that.

But KJ did nothing. Instead, he moved to the nearest chair and sat. Wrong, not sit. He slammed his body on the chair; like someone at the end of the day. As if he was tired looking at this. And when he spoke, his voice sounded sad…

“What did I even ask of you, Ray? Ever since we became friends, have I ever asked you for anything? Never, right?”

Khalil’s chest choked hearing KJ’s voice. Even when he was alive, KJ had never softened his voice like this. The prankster KJ who was styled like K-Pop celebrities who had never taken anything seriously – he suddenly sounded this sad.

Maybe our souls change once it leaves the body. The soul would no longer have to think about the body’s problems… so we would be more focused on feelings?

On sadness? Anger?

“You too could bear it to do that to me, right?” Khalil asked again. He remembered KJ’s anger that night – he had the heart to replay the tragedy that Khalil had been trying to forget.

Khalil sighed. “You said that you can do what I can’t – fine. But I never thought of all things, you would…”

“Whoa, whoa… slow down. What are you talking about, Ray? I didn’t do anything?” KJ denied vehemently.

Khalil stared at KJ deeply. It didn’t seem like he was lying. Seems like he’s earnestly monkeying – like during their youth.

“You’re the one who trapped me in the room, right?” Khalil questioned… wrong – Khalil accused.

“Which room?”

“My room!” Khalil suddenly lost his patience.

“Why would I trap you in your room?”

“So that you can force me to watch you guys being shot again! Tell me is that’s not damnable!” mocked Khalil. In his life, he had never even scolded an enemy like that. Not to mention a friend.

KJ was silent. “Certainly that’s damnable. But it wasn’t me who did it so my conscience is free of guilt.”

Khalil was stunned at KJ’s casual answer.

KJ stared at Khalil and then let out a small laugh. “You’ve been away from me for far too long, Ray. You’ve forgotten how I am. You seriously I’d do something like that? Me?”

Khalil simply looked at KJ with a gaze that said, “It’s possible.”

KJ smiled, embarrassed. “Okay, fine. I’m a prankster. I would do that to others. But you’re one of my best friends. Why would I do that?”

Khalil was silent.

KJ shook his head. “Demmit, I can’t even smoke now. It’s been a long time since last did. Getting one would be nice in a shitty situation like this, right Gibbs?” commented KJ casually, Greeting Gibbs at the same time.

Gibbs! Because of being too busy with the appearance of KJ, Khalil actually forgot about Gibbs.

“I don’t smoke,” said Gibbs.

“I forgot! I’m already old. But I still look seventeen huh? Is this what they call forever young?” replied KJ with a small laugh at his tasteless joke.

KJ looked at Khalil who was still silent and wasn’t giving any response to KJ’s attitude. KJ looked at Gibbs.

“You okay?” the question was for Gibbs.

Gibbs released a long sigh. He moved to KJ and sat next to him.

Strange. This whole situation is too strange, thought Khalil. But for some reason, he felt calm. It’s been a long time since he was this calm. People say that we became calm in a familiar situation. And Khalil was familiar with his situation – chatting with his best friends. Especially in this auditorium – the place he felt most comfortable at.

“I’m probably fine. I’ve already known about it after all,” replied Gibbs. The sentence that was supposed to be the revelation was mentioned so casually by Gibbs – that it made the shocked Khalil curious.

“You knew?”

KJ and Gibbs turned to Gibbs at the same time.

“Sit down. Aren’t you tired?” invited KJ.

Khalil didn’t sit and instead stood while leaning back, facing KJ and Gibbs. Observing their faces that did not decay with time.

“You knew?” Khalil repeated to Gibbs.

“Ever since you reappeared, I started… remembering. Remembering what happened,” replied Gibbs.

“Shit, that’s not pretty,” KJ interjected. “When I first remembered, it wasn’t a nice experience.”

“Damn. You didn’t even tell me!” replied Gibbs.

“You can’t handle it. Just look at what happened recently – you became nervous!”

“Still, you should tell me. Poor Ray. He had to do this all just to tell me. Too much effort,” said Gibbs.

KJ pouted, “You sure are backing your sweetheart.”

I’m talking with my two ghost friends about their lives as ghosts. Nonchalantly at that. Like talking about which girl to be made a meal. Like the old times. Okay.

That thought appeared in Khalil’s head for a while. After that, he felt calm and comfortable again.

Strange, Khalil himself can’t explain it – but he wasn’t even a bit stressed at this situation.

Khalil lit a cigarette – not because of stress. But because of habit. For he felt that’s the most natural thing to do every time he chatted with his friends.

“Show-off,” said KJ while observing Khalil smoking.

“I can’t smoke but you can trap me?” replied Khalil. His sentence started becoming like the old Ray’s again. An artist’s sentence.

“Look! He keeps saying that I trapped him in a room! The hell?” KJ was dissatisfied.

“What about this trapping thing?” Gibbs was the one who asked.

Khalil was silent. “If it’s not you, then who?”

Gibbs looked at KJ, KJ looked at Gibbs.

“There are many things in this world that can persecute you, Ray. But I’m sure as hell it’s not your best friends,” said Gibbs.

Khalil was silent. Guilt suddenly enveloped his heart and he felt disgusted. Disgusted because he doubted his own friends.

“I won’t blame you if you’re paranoid. It’s normal. Doubting people you are for is normal when you become sensitive to certain things about them. I too doubted you when I thought Jeremy was you – because if this asshole! With his genius theory!” said Gibbs while slapping KJ’s shoulder.

KJ smiled abashedly again. “Desperate times call for desperate measures, dude. I was worried! If you choose to depart like Troll did.”

KJ suddenly fell silent. He moved his gaze towards somewhere else – wanting to hide his gloomy face. “I miss Troll. Why did he go? This place… us… is it not enough to him?”

“Maybe he’s afraid of being lonely. His roommate’s not there,” Gibbs tried making an excuse, then looked at Khalil.

“Tch, he can just stay in our room. No problem!”

“That’s enough. It’s his decision. Just let it go,” advised Gibbs.

“It’s easy for you to say. You have a girlfriend that came here to accompany you. Who do I even have…”

“Heh. Who told you to not settle down when you were still alive?” teased Gibbs.

“You know, your pigginess, from when you’re still alive and even after you died, is still the same,” replied KJ.

Gibbs laughed and Khalil followed along.

Do you know that feeling? When having a thick blanket when the weather was cold because of the heavy rain outside? The comfortable feeling that needed no explanation?

That’s how Khalil felt right now.

“Just look – because of my girlfriend, Ray here came back. If not, we can’t even see him again,” added Gibbs.

“Ray already forgot about us,” said KJ.

“It’s not like that…”

“Then why did you never come?” KJ interjected. “Even when you came, you did it to wake Gibbs. Well, you only care for him after all.”

I don’t know whether to laugh or to beat him up. Just like old times.

“How could I know that you’re still here, idiot?” replied Khalil with a small laugh… followed by a formation of a pool of tears.

“How would you know if you don’t come?” replied KJ.

Gibbs smiled. “Give him a break, will you?”

KJ raised his hands as a sign of surrendering. Gibbs looked at Khalil while smiling – the smile that became Khalil’s craze during his teens. Nothing changed.

“Why didn’t you move on? Why didn’t you follow Troll?”

The answer playing in Khalil’s mind finally came out, along with a cloud of smoke.

“We could ask you the same thing,” said Gibbs.

“You’re saying…?”

“Why didn’t you move on? Why do you still feel guilty about what happened while you weren’t the one who killed us?” asked Gibbs clearly.

Khalil was silent.

“You asked who trapped you in the room, right?” Gibbs said again. “I think you did it to yourself. You’re burdened with your guilt. To the point that your mind became your worst enemy.”

“Dang! Just because your girlfriend is a psychologist!” teased KJ.

Gibbs shrugged like he was bragging. But behind his bravado, Khalil, and only Khalil – saw the sadness within him. The sadness of not being able to finish school and continue on with his life. The life that Khalil knew, Gibbs already had them planned in his head. Getting a wife, a family a job – Gibbs who once upon a time wanted to become a family man, a dream he never dared tell his friends for fear of being mocked.

But Khalil knew. Khalil could easily understand Gibbs. And automatically, the problem to Khalil’s question was easily solved.

“What about you? Until when do you plan to stay here?” Khalil moved to KJ.

KJ scratched is head like a kid who didn’t know how to answer a question. “I don’t know. This is my territory. I’m at my peak here. I can prank people supernaturally. That’s awesome you know?”

Khalil laughed while shaking his head.

Gibbs looked at Khalil with a stale smile while saying, “You too should make the best choice for yourself, okay Ray?”

Khalil threw the cigarette butt to the floor and stomped it. “Choice? What choice do I have? Having life doesn’t mean I can just live.”

“Don’t be too artistic now,” teased KJ. “You’re living fine from what I can see. You’ve become a director, a scriptwriter for films now.”

Khalil just smiled bitterly.

Gibbs sighed. “What I would give to be in your place, Ray. You can keep on living.”

“Without you guys, what’s the point?”

Gibbs smiled mischievously. “Then bring us with you too.”