Gardenia Of Blooming D.e.s.i.r.e

"Why did you leave the duchy? Why did you leave me back then?"

Ramuja jolted and lowered his head. His Adam's apple bobbed over and over, but no sound ever came from his mouth. Aster waited patiently, his eyes were sharp and piercing, and the golden circle in his eyes slowly shrinking.

Silence engulfed the air. Aster tapped the floor with his boots slowly, "You're not going to answer?" he asked coldly.

Ramuja stayed silence. He opened his mouth, but decided to close it again.

"If you're not going to answer, I'll assume that you leave because you're disappointed in me," Aster said. His golden circle disappeared, and his pupils turned pure black.

Ramuja raised his head immediately, he stared into Aster's eyes, but realized that something was wrong with his Young Lord's eyes.

'It's similar to Grand Duchess' eyes when staring at me...' Those eyes looked beautiful, but their pure dark pupils could make the strongest man tremble in fear.

Ramuja collected his courage and interrupted.

"Y--Young Lord, this servant was never disappointed with Young Lord, this servant dared not to...

"Then give me a reason why did you leave me back then."

"Because..." Ramuja trembled, "Because this servant didn't have any choice, Young Lord..."

"What do you mean?"

"This servant was..." Ramuja bit his lower lip while lowering his face, so Aster couldn't see his expression, "This servant was given two choices by Grand Duchess, whether to follow you or to be stationed far away."

Aster had premonition that, what his mother said back then was true, his shoulder drooped, "Why did you choose to be stationed far away? You could... live comfortably with me in Golden Palace." Aster asked weakly.

Yes, he lied. There was no way that Ramuja could live peacefully in golden palace with him. But his servant shouldn't have known about this, in fact, no one knew about his humiliation except his family, golden family, and few servants and guards. He should have the image of high and mighty Young Lord in front of Ramuja.

Unless...

"Did my mother threaten you?!" Aster raised his voice suddenly, which made Ramuja trembled.

"N--No! Grand Duchess off--offered generous compensation for this servant, Young Lord!" Ramuja stammered. He prostrated in front of Aster with his face deeply planted to the ground.

"Why? We are separated for so long..." Aster's voice sounded hoarse, as he was about to cry, "Am I that unreliable? Are you disappointed with me when I allowed my mother to punish you gravely? Is that the reason?"

Ramuja's body trembled, "Young Lord, this servant does not lie. I am never disappointed to be Young Lord's servant."

"Then answer me clearly!" Aster roared.

"This servant... this servant was indeed scared, Young Lord." Ramuja answered, "This servant didn't want to burden you in your study there, this servant is also a coward, this servant didn't want to get hurt there, since Young Lord... Young lord is..." Ramuja choked the last words, "... nothing... compared to Crown Prince and Golden Family."

Aster's heart shattered when Ramuja said that. His pride that he tried to maintain just after they met suddenly crumbled.

'So, even him knew about my uselessness already...'

Aster closed his eyes and inhaled as much air as he could, "At least, you're honest."

"Y--Young Lord, please punish this servant! This servant deserves death for abandoning Young Lord! This-- slave is ungrateful!"

"I will not punish you," Aster replied flat.

'No matter what, I will never punish you.'

Aster stood from his seat and trailing back to his tower. Ramuja followed him and the grim silence enveloped the air. Ramuja followed Aster until they were in front of Aster's room. The door was unguarded, because Aster had instructed the usual guards to rest after long party last night.

Aster stopped in front of his door and said, "Your duty for today ends here."

"Does Young Lord need me to help you--"

"I order you to leave."

"T--then, for the next morning walk, does Young Lord need this slave to attend?"

"Your duty stays the same. I have something to do, leave now." Aster opened the door and closed it slowly.

Aster locked the door. He rushed to the bathroom and washed his red eyes. He was about to cry when he heard Ramuja called him a 'nothing'. But to shed tears in front of his servant would only worsen the situation. He didn't want to look weaker than he already was, in front of his servant.

When Aster left the bathroom, Jain was already standing near the balcony. He lowered his head, "Good Morning, Young Lord."

Aster leered at him, "Of course, you had been following us since the very beginning."

Jain nodded.

"It's embarrassing right, to have a master who couldn't protect himself?" Aster sneered despairingly.

"Me and Irion never have such thought about Young Lord. Young Lord could survive in Golden Palace, even scheming. It already proves that Young Lord is capable," Jain walked closer and kneeled, "Besides, if Young Lord couldn't do anything, this servant, Jain Tellah, will devoutly protect you."

Aster's mood lifted up. He softly patted Jain's head, "You really know how to compliment. Well, since you are now my official butler, bring me my paper and quill pen. I have few letters to write."

'Since you think that I'm weak, I will prove to you that I'm worthy. And you should never feel afraid under my rule.'

***

Grand Duchess woke up early. She drank her morning tea while waiting for the report to come. When she tapped the floor twice, a shadow guard appeared in front of her.

"What is your report?" Grand Duchess asked calmly.

"Reporting to Her Majesty, Young Lord and that slave was walking around the garden until it looked like they had a fight. Young Lord looked agitated and ended the morning walk earlier."

Grand Duchess' lips curled up. This was according to her expectation, the impact should be enough to stimulate her son.

"You can leave now."

The shadow guard excused himself and disappeared. Grand Duchess' smile turned into a smirk, she might need more stimulation later if Aster started to indulge in his hopeless antics.

'It seems that slave really has significant impact to my son, using him as a stimulation is beneficial.'

'Well, at least what I did yesterday was the right thing before that slave could poison my dear son's mind.'

Grand Duchess' smirk dissipated, she stared at the rim of her cup, "I'm sorry I have to make you cry, my dear son. But I wont let that slave ruin you. I will protect you."

'And this political atmosphere, my son, you have to make your move before someone suppresses you.'