Hail the King

Without needing any more words, the two entered the court and started to battle.

The dense noise of the tennis ball hitting the rackets sounded in the spacious back palace, just like the sand rapidly leaving an hourglass.

This university student’s tennis skill was excellent! Even though Fei was a member of the tennis team in his school, he was no match for this young man after not practicing for years. They played three matches, and Fei lost all of them.

Since the king controlled and restricted his strength, he was sweating perfused and became exhausted after playing tennis for a while.

Now, Fei was lying down on the court and breathing heavily.

The university student took out two glasses of water from somewhere and handed one to Fei.

“Are you Pope Entus, the 1,000-year-old saint whom other orcs talk about?” Fei finally asked this question after finishing the glass of water.

“Hehe, it is me.”

This university student looked extremely young, and he was bright and open. He looked just like a pure and naïve big boy.

However, when this young man spoke, he had a ‘dirty’ smile on his face. At that moment, Fei sensed an illusion and felt like everything was a dream, and the person sitting on the ground to the opposite of him was one of his ‘dirty’ dormmates in his university.

“I’m surprised that I can see these things in here,” Fei sighed and said, “Let’s get back to the topic. How did you come here?”

“Hahaha! Don’t get sentimental first, and don’t ask too many questions. I can’t tell you much at the moment. To make sure that you are the person who I’m waiting for, you must first respond to my phrases correct according to the agreement from 1,000 years ago,” Entus laughed out loud.

From what this young man had said, Fei picked up some sensitive and hidden messages.

“Listen up carefully, these are some important and golden antithetical couplets. Only the person who I’m waiting for will know it. Hehe.” Entus didn’t have the aura and the presence of the pope of the orcs, and his smile got even ‘dirtier.’ He said loudly, “The first one! In terms of adult videos, you’ve got to first recommend Japanese and Korean ones. You got to respond, quick! Quick! Quick!”

“Puff!” Fei spat out all the water in his mouth and coughed non-stop. After a while of being at a loss for words, he responded, “Of course you have to check out Mutou Ran.”

[TL Note: These are all famous internet poems in China, and almost every young man knows about them.]

“Hahaha! Great! You sure didn’t disappoint me. Listen up! Here is the second one. If you don’t know about Mutou Ran…”

Fei replied, “Watching all adult videos is a waste of time.”

Entus said, “Even if you know about Mutou Ran…”

Fei replied, “Not watching adult videos is also a waste of time.”

Entus said, “It is very natural to watch adult videos.”

Fei replied, “You don’t need to know about Mutou Ran.”

Entus said, “I don’t know about Mutou Ran.”

Fei replied, “Didn’t you just live 100 years for nothing?”

Entus said, “I only got to know about Mutou Ran today.”

Fei replied, “You need to borrow 500 more years from Heaven.”

…

The two each said a sentence after the other, and they spoke in correspondence with the original poem.

After they were done, they stared at each other in a daze. A while passed by, and they cried and cheered before hugging each other. They were so warm toward each other that it looked like they were long-lost blood-related brothers who were seeing each other for the first time today.

“Homie, it has been 1,000 years! I finally met a real living human! I have been living with these orcs forever! Do you know how hard I had it?” Entus cried and almost wiped a handful of snot onto Fei’s body.

“Yeah! In this world, there are full of savage barbarians! Without computers, Weibo (similar to facebook), QQ (similar to Whatsapp), and adult videos, life here is like Hell!” Fei replied to Entus.

“Sob, sob, sob. You got it good! You became a king right after coming here! I need to become a conman and pretend to be a holy pope! It is even harder than passing CET-4 and CET-6! It is f*cked up!” Entus said.

[TL Note: CET stands of College English Test. In China, many students have a hard time passing this and couldn’t graduate.]

“What do you know? I somehow took over the body of an idiot! I almost got killed by someone from the beginning…” Fei replied.

“Sob, sob, sob. Can you let go of me? Your arms are hugging me too tight. It hurts!” With tears on his face, Entus struggled for dear life.

Fei was at a loss for words again.