Hate You, Love You.

''What?''

''He likes you. He has always liked you and I could never compete.''

My mouth gapes open and she continues. ''Why do you think I antagonized you? I knew all along that he liked you and it hurt me because I loved him.'' she whispers. ''I loved him and it hurt me to see that the feeling wasn't mutual. I thought that if I'd stick around, things would change and he'd start loving me back but he never did. I don't know when he started falling for you, but he did.''

''That is-'' I start, but words fail me. ''Wow.''

''It's not all that surprising. You've never noticed how he looks at you? How he steals quick glances at you in the hallway? How he'd watch you and your friends during lunch?'' she observes. ''Are you that oblivious?''

''Um…maybe?'' I did notice all the things she is saying but up until recently, I chose to ignore it. ''I thought he was glaring at me because he hated me or something.''

''I wish he hated you but he doesn't. He has never hated you. He said he did at some point but he was lying.'' She knots her hands together. ''He was using me just as much as I was using him. He used me to get over you and I used him to make you jealous. The only problem was we failed miserably at both.'' she shrugs. ''We weren't in a committed relationship and we knew that, but to the rest of the school, we were the happy couple.''

Suddenly, the pieces are falling in place.

''I've made a lot of mistakes and I'm not proud of it. We almost had a baby, a baby that we didn't even plan for, but I aborted it.'' I feign innocence at her confession. ''What Easton said was true.''

Why is she telling me all this?

She gulps and continues. ''I didn't want that baby to not have a mother and father who loved it unconditionally. I wasn't fit to be a mother, I didn't even want to be a mother and Jason didn't love me. Yes, he said he was going to do all that he could to be there for the baby even if it meant staying with me, but he didn't love me the way I did him. He begged me to keep it, but I didn't listen because I was selfish,'' she admits. ''and I was hurt. But more than that, I was scared of what everyone would think, what my parents would think because they aren't necessarily the most understanding people on the planet. How the hell was I supposed to explain to them that I was having a baby at fifteen?''

She wipes a few stray tears from her eyes with her fingers. ''Sometimes I regret my decision. I still have an ultrasound of the baby. I don't know if it was a boy or a girl, but I still keep it at my bedside table and cry because…I don't even know why. Maybe because my decision was a bit rash.'' She caresses her belly. ''Who knows what could've been if I had that baby.'' Jason said the same thing. ''After the abortion, Jason refused to look at me for months. He refused to pick my calls and answer my texts and I deserved that. I know he still resents me for it. He may say he has forgiven me and that he's over it, but ever since that day, he never looked at me the same again.''

''Maybe he doesn't resent you,'' I say in a bid to reassure her. ''Have you tried talking to him?''

''We don't speak about the incident or the baby. It happened two years ago, but it's still a fresh wound for both of us. Besides, it's just like I said, he still resents me and I don't think it's going away anytime soon.''

I make a mental note to get Jason to talk to Mariah so they can both heal.

Her eyes are full of fresh tears now and I actually feel bad for her. ''Mariah, you don't have to continue if you don't want to.''

She sniffs and shakes her head. ''I want to. I need to get it off my chest.''

Alright.

''We vowed to never speak of what had transpired, but I guess I just spilled the beans.'' Jason spilled the beans first. ''No one knows about it, not even my family. I faked my mum's signature to get the abortion done.'' 

Now that I've heard Mariah's side of the story, I guess I can see where she's coming from. She was young, scared and panicked. That's why she did what she did. I'm not saying I support it because her decision ended up hurting Jason, but I won't judge her for it. It's in the past now.

''Why are you telling me this?''

''Because you win and I loose,'' she jokes. ''In the game of love, you win.''

''I never even realized I was in a competition.'' I admit sincerely.

''Back then, at the club, when you said that I deserved better than Jason, well you were right and I should have listened to you.'' She wipes her eyes with the sleeve of her shirt. ''I was holding on to a sinking ship and wasting my time.''

She sighs dejectedly. ''I guess I'm telling you all this because this is me letting Jason go. I can't change our history together, but after my sob fest,'' she giggles and my lips twitch. ''I'm at peace with the situation. I'm not going to fight him on it and I'm going to let it go like Elsa.''

''I-''

''You don't need to say anything. I just really wanted to make peace and turn over a new leaf. I'm sorry for bullying you and being horrible to you. I'm sick and tired of fighting and being a bitter bitch. Holding on to all this anger and resentment doesn't do anyone much good if I'm being honest. I just want to leave high school with happy memories.''

She sticks her hand out to me. ''Since I'm building bridges, truce?''

''I'm always in support of women making up.'' I shake her hand firmly. ''Truce.''

I feel my phone buzz in my bag. ''Come on. We're late for homeroom.''

''True, but I'll have to change first.'' She looks down at her soaked uniform. ''I always keep a spare one in my locker. Plus Grande would freak out if he sees me like this''

For the first time in forever, Mariah and I both laugh loudly.

I make my way outside first and lean on a nearby wall still trying to wrap my head around everything that just happened. Mariah opened up to me about everything that went down between her and Jason. Mariah and I made peace. 

The most important one is that she said that Jason likes me too.

He. Fucking. Likes. Me. Back.

I do a mini dance in my head before composing myself and making my way to Homeroom. I'm definitely going to get detention because Mr Macker absolutely hates tardiness. 

But at least detention would be worth it.

............….

''Why were you late for Homeroom? I called your phone repeatedly but you weren't picking up.'' Paris asks for like the third time today. The school day is over so I'm heading home first then going to work later in the day.

''I told you that my breakfast enchilatas went down the wrong pipe. You should have seen that toilet because I had a blast.'' She scrunches up her nose in disgust. ''No need to be that vivid.''

''Well, it's true.''

''If you say so.''

I'm a woman of my word. I vowed to Jason and now to Mariah that I'd keep their secret. If I tell Paris that Mariah and I made up, I'll end up saying everything that transpired in the bathroom and that would lead to me breaking my promise. They are both hurting. Mariah regrets her decision and Jason resents her for that decision. Again, it's not that I don't trust Paris to keep a secret, but since they confided in ONLY me, then I'm sealing my mouth with metaphorical ducktape.

''Where are you headed?'' I ask her as we make our way outside with Theo following closely from behind.

''Home. I need to have a serious talk with my dad since he's finally around after all these years,'' she says sarcastically.

''You're growing a pair.''

''I'm growing a pair,'' she says with confidence. ''I'm going to dictate my own way and find my own path, college or not.''

''That's my bitch.''

We both do a high-five. ''But if I don't show up at school tomorrow, tell the police my father did it.''

''Very funny.''

She blows Theo and I a kiss and a wave then walks to her car. I turn to Theo. ''You've been quiet.''

''Should I be concerned you lied to your best friend?'' he asks slyly.

''I didn't lie to her,'' I say in a cool tone. ''I really did take a dump.''

He nods. ''Okay, then. I'll pretend I believe you.''