Healer

“He has been weird lately. He keeps looking for Cocaine.”

Cha Myunghwan’s wife said softly.

“When Mr. Cocaine was singing, I couldn’t even come close and I got kicked out just now. Since Mr. Cocaine came, I think he’s been losing weight and his anxiety has gotten worse…”

Chairman Cha, Cha Myunghwan’s wife, and Dr. Yang were seated at a table in front of an arched fireplace. Dr. Yang said as he set the teacup down.

“It is a symptom of anxiety that any terminal cancer patient has. Because they’re uncertain of what’s going to happen.”

Chairman Cha opened his mouth as he watched the red flames rising.

“No, she is right. I was watching Myunghwan these days because he was like a guy who was possessed. He was already in a sensitive state before, but he’s getting distracted by the healer or whatever coming and leaving. It was a mistake to bring the scammer here in the first place to fix cancer cells that have metastasized to an organ by just singing.”

Dr. Yang said while raising his silver-rimmed glasses.

“I think it would be better to just let him listen. These days, Mr. Cha… he only seems delighted on the day the healer comes. He needs something to look forward to in the meantime, so even in terms of psychological stability…”

“Perhaps… Did Mr. Cocaine make his condition worse?”

Cha Myunghwan’s wife asked with a gloomy face. Dr. Yang replied.

“As I said before, it is not because of the healer that the condition of CEO Cha is getting worse. He will go to Seoul soon for a thorough examination, but you should prepare yourself a little.”

In her despair, the woman covered her face and sobbed. Chairman Cha, who kept his mouth shut, said.

“What about Executive Director Cha?”

“He just went back with Mr. Cocaine.”

Cha Myunghwan’s wife cried and barely answered. Chairman Cha stared at the empty garage. Yiseok was a guy whose true intentions were unknown since childhood. He thought that even when he was studying abroad, he wasted his years on drugs, and it would be the same when he joined the company. However, Yiseok received the attention of the board of directors for his aggressive management policy. Relatively, it was inevitable to worry about Myunghwan falling behind. After that, for some reason, Yiseok returned to his original playboy form.

Perhaps because of the environment they grew up in, the styles of the two brothers were different. If Myunghwan was the type that relied on logic, Yiseok won with his intuition. From his appearance to personality, Yiseok resembled his grandfather more than his father himself. His father, who had no mercy on his family for success…

Chairman Cha called the secretary.

“Investigate that healer again. Yes, I’ve already looked through the documents that Executive Director Cha brought. This is a separate investigation. Don’t let it get into his ears.”

And he added,

“I wonder what Executive Director Cha is doing these days.”

———

It was late afternoon when Cocaine arrived at Cha Yiseok’s home. Hashish sometimes accompanied him as a harmonizer when he went on business trips, but he wanted to go alone for today. He left the cold Hashish behind and left the dormitory. His head and legs were heavy. When he returned from work a few days ago, Yaba was the first to come back. Cocaine didn’t bring it up anymore. Yaba, too, usually wouldn’t talk, but since he was the type to detonate bombs all at once, he didn’t say much. After Yaba came back, he fiddled with the brown case Cocaine had never seen before.

An old gentleman with a handsome beard came to meet him in front of a front door in a residential area. The old gentleman looked like a school principal who had retired from his teaching career. Looking at Cocaine in a feather mask, he was preoccupied with managing his expression. The only masks Cocaine had matched the interior and lighting of Paradiso and he was wearing the most modest thing he had now. The attire was also chosen to give a neat impression. The old gentleman relaxed his stiff face and led him inside.

“The madame is very sensitive right now, so don’t provoke her. She drank too much and she’s been forgetful lately, so don’t be startled.”

“Yes.”

As soon as he entered the main gate, he was overwhelmed by the majestic mansion that combined a modern yet classical style. The garden, which seemed to have moved the pond and forest entirely, gave off a dry air like a desert compared to the atmosphere. As he followed the old gentleman, stepping on large stepping stones, a young man stood out from the far corner of the garden. The man whose back could only be seen was absorbed in caring for the tree. At the call of the old gentleman who had gone ahead, Cocaine hastened his steps. He passed the living room and stopped in front of the second floor door. The old gentleman knocked quietly.

“Madame. It’s me. Are you sleeping?”

“What.”

A slurred voice was heard from beyond the door.

“The young man that Director Cha mentioned has come.”

The old gentleman waited a moment and then opened the door. As he entered, the strong smell of alcohol pierced his nostrils. The room, about 66 square meters in size, was guarded by classic furniture, and a famous painting that even non-natives could recognize hung on the wall. In the middle, a middle-aged woman in her pajamas was lying on the bed. The bottle of wine lying on her bed and the red liquid flowing inside were like blood shed. She stared blankly at the ceiling before turning her attention to the visitor.

Cocaine bowed. He was so nervous that his hands were sweating. It felt strange that that person was the mother of Executive Director Cha.

“Call me if you need me, madame.”

The old gentleman left, and Cha Yiseok’s mother watched the unfamiliar visitor. Cocaine was silent again. It must have been ridiculous as he stiffened from the back of his neck to his waist.

“Hello. My name is Cocaine. You may have heard…”

“I didn’t expect a man would come. I conceded because my Yiseok said all I had to do was listen to the song without asking or arguing… Why is my son acting like a filial son all of a sudden? He always ignores me while pretending to give in on the surface. I don’t like it all. Well, enough. Stop wasting time and take off your clothes.”

“Yes?”

Cocaine asked, stunned. Cha Yiseok’s mother stretched her arms out. Through her silk pajamas, her breasts were exposed.

“You didn’t know your job was to serve women? I like the mask, but the clothes are boring.”

“Um…”

“Do it once or go back.”

Her tone was as straightforward as her gestures. Although she had been gnawed by alcohol for many years, she had a bewitching atmosphere that attracted the attention of many men. The image that did not fit the title of the hostess of the Taeryung family reminded everyone that she was Cha Yiseok’s mother. Cocaine looked down. It’s normal for him to feel shame at times like this, but for some reason he smiled.

“As you may have heard, I am a healer who heals diseases through singing.”

“I had never heard of singing to cure alcoholics. I’m not an alcoholic either. But no one believes me…”

Cha Yiseok’s mother suddenly became depressed. She said incessantly as if she needed a conversation partner more than a healer. He quietly listened to her complaints, but Cocaine was more enthusiastic than ever. Maybe he wanted to vicariously satisfy Executive Director Cha’s headache that he had not fixed.

“You may not believe it, but just trust me and listen to my songs comfortably. Just think of it as having the radio on.”

“I hate songs. I don’t understand people who pay money to listen to it.”

“Yes. Right…”

Cocaine finally laughed. The middle-aged madame, who strangely sprinkled that decadent beauty, was cute. Cocaine’s eyes wandered through a well-lit room and came to the woman whom light could not reach. Because he was alone, this room was too large. With a voice originating from this imperfect body, the notes were tightly gathered to comfort the soul trapped in darkness over there. He started singing “Pie Jesu”.

Pie Jesu, Pie Jesu, Pie Jesu, Pie Jesu,

Merciful Jesus, Merciful Jesus…

Qui tollis peccata mundi Dona eis requiem, Dona eis requiem.

Lord, who forgives the sins of the world, give them rest. Give them rest…

The moment he let out the first verse, her eyes fluttered in the air. Then they fell on Cocaine. Violent emotions swirled in her puffy eyes. Anger, thirst, obsession, boredom, lethargy, and old emotions poured out all at once. A simple yet reverent hymn resounded deeply in an unfamiliar and barren space. Caressing distorted emotions, she listened to the story of corruption from the bottom of her chest.

This song is soft, but it has a surprisingly high range, so the intensity and amplitude are strong. So, while easing up people who have been suffering from mental illness for a long time, it also had a healing effect. The gentle curves vibrated the air and permeated the patient’s eardrums. Her hypnotized expression turned into a peaceful world. Compared to the lethargic body, the intense consciousness gradually relaxed. Cocaine slowly entered her pain, controlling the intensity of his sound waves.

Angus Dei, Angus Dei, Angus Dei, Angus Dei…

Lamb of God, Lamb of God…

Qui tollis peccata mundi Dona eis requiem, ona eis requiem…

The Lord who forgives the sins of the world. Give them rest. Give them rest…

Qui tollis peccata mundi Dona eis requiem, ona eis requiem…

The Lord who forgives the sins of the world. Give them rest. Give them rest…

A soft tone permeated the transparent beam of light. There was a smell of fresh grass from somewhere. The wind might have brought it. Cocaine took her hand and walked along the forest path, enjoying the feeling of treading on mud barefoot. The tears welling up in her eyes gleamed with the gentle sunlight. There were moments when both the singer and the listener became one. Like right now.

As he reached the high register, it flew flexibly as if flapping its wings. To the man’s mother, to wash away the soul troubled by everyday life, and gently seep into the dulled senses…

Suddenly, through the sound of singing, he felt the sound of the door opening vaguely, and quickly approaching from behind. It was because of the discomfort of the air touching the skin, not the ears. It was the moment when the smell of earth and wood came over. Someone hugged Cocaine from behind. Particles of light on his clothes scatter like butterfly dust in a passionate movement.

The trembling of the man reached Cocaine’s back, and an unidentified moisture ran down the nape of his neck. The man who buried his nose in the nape of Cocaine then raised his head. A tear-stained face filled his vision. His mind went blank when the grown man he saw for the first time shed tears as if it wasn’t enough to hug him. The man’s facial features were both unfamiliar yet familiar. Where had he seen it, where… For a moment, Cocaine stopped him breathing. His field of vision staggered. The dark eyes of the man crying without shame were those of a child. It was a longing that transcended time and space. He muttered in a slightly slurred voice.

“I miss… you. I missed you1…”

No, please sing… Please do it again…

The unstoppable tinnitus prevented us from breaking out of the stalemate between reality and memory. Just like that day, the same look in the eyes that asked him to sing to him back in the day,

Like the nightmare of that day…