Healer

Two stage costume designers visited in the morning. It was a designer introduced by Kang Giha. Singers were obliged to assemble their handmade outfits once a week, and the designer spit out convoluted explanations of where the fabric came from and how the jewelry was processed, and asked for eye-popping prices. Contrary to the grand description, the fabric and design seemed to come from a nightclub. The eunuch singers complained, but had to buy clothes weeping.

Of course, the choice of clothes was based on Cocaine’s physique, skin tone, and his taste. Cocaine put his head together with the youth and looked through the catalogue. He turned his head involuntarily and made eye contact with Yaba. Yaba naturally looked away, pretending not to see him from the beginning. The eyes that had been clinging for a while were gone. On one side of the living room, young men lined up to take measurements. Bloodstains of methadone still remained on the walls, but, as always, they were saved by a song of Cocaine in their despair. Morphine glanced at the phone the designer was holding and his eyes twinkled.

“Wow, Auntie! How much did you pay for this? Ahh damn~ How long do we have to use outdated phones? Who’s using this old-fashioned thing these days? The internet doesn’t even connect!”

“I know right. It’s embarrassing to take it outside, really…”

The eunuch singers united their voices and complained. For those who are heavily armed with luxury goods and fill the void of their scrotums, the old-fashioned phone was a fatal deficiency. Kang Giha banned the use of the latest phones because of the bad habits of the eunuchs. It was also intended to prevent them from contacting the police station or human rights groups’ sites. The thug shouted loudly.

“What’s wrong? Trying to contact the cops? Be glad your remotes weren’t pressed. You eunuch bastards! Why don’t you shut your mouth and stand in a straight line?!”

The thug smoked a cigarette and spat on the living room floor.

“He’s spitting on the floor and going nuts again. Do you want me to eat all the sputum that bastard spits for the rest of my life? Well, we have to eat all the rice they threw away all out lives.”

Morphine changed the topic while mumbling.

“Did you hear? I’ve heard thugs gossip but not long ago, the boss’s ear hole was pierced by Executive Director Cha. Apparently he shoved a fountain pen into the boss’s ear.”

“Really? Why?”

The eunuchs around them asked with scornful faces.

“I don’t know. Did you know that one day my boss would be like that? Of course, Cocaine fixed it quickly, but serves him right.”

The young people smiled as if they had cleared up a 10-year-old congestion. Morphine spoke.

“Oh yeah! Executive Director Cha also used to go downstairs and then came up right? I can’t even guess because of his good manners. Could it be because of a pretty girl?”

“Surprisingly, such a person had a taste for SM. Cocaine, do you know anything?”

At Heroin’s question, Cocaine burst into laughter.

“I don’t know. I don’t even want to know.”

Eventually, the line got shorter and it was Yaba’s turn. A designer wearing horn-rimmed glasses wrapped a tape measure around Yaba’s waist. She smiled softly and said.

“Red looks good on you, but it’s a shame because Cocaine doesn’t suit a strong color. Aye, have you lost weight again? I told you to eat a lot…”

“Don’t you think you’d rather see the stir-fried pork buried in red pepper paste?”

“What?”

“The fabric you brought and the clothes you made are all cheap. You are the cheapest among them.”

Yaba took off the woman’s horn-rimmed glasses and crushed them with his feet. He also tore the clothes and catalogues that were brought and threw them all in front of the woman’s face that had been found and contemplated. His head felt refreshed as if he had popped Cocaine’s eyeball and ripped his skin off. Yaba quietly walked to the room. Eyes like fallen leaves fell.

“That crazy…”

There was a sullen smile on the lips of the eunuchs who were rebuked.

“You, you bastard, aren’t you coming here?! What the hell is this?!”

The designer wept bitterly as she looked at her broken frames, but no one comforted her.

Yaba ran straight to the bathroom. After showering, he applied his moisturizing cream. As he lifted up his pile of clothes, he found a wad of paper wrapped. On his way to the villa not long ago, Cha Yiseok gave him a cheque for his labor. When he said that everything he had given before was torn, he added the torn amount. Yaba received a lot of kiss-like checks, so he felt good. Although he felt a little mindful in case he looked like he was demanding money after using it up.

Yaba went through his overlapping thigh flesh and put the wad of paper in the gap. He pulled up his underwear and hid his kisses. With every step he took, a wad of his checks was swept into his groin. It felt like Cha Yiseok’s lips were touching, so he felt a rush of heat. It was the safest place to protect from thugs. Because nobody would be interested in an eunuch’s groin.

He wiped the steam from the bathroom mirror with his hands, revealing an ugly face. The faint bruises left look like mold stains. His fingertips touched the oddly ripped corners of his eyes, groped his flat nose, and squeezed the inelastic flesh on his cheeks. If only his eyes were a little bigger, if his nose was a little taller, if he had a slimmer face… Then he scratched his face in the mirror with his nails. After taking a shower, it was time to take his morning pills. Yaba took out a pill from the chest of drawers.

‘One in the morning, two in the evening. Do not overdose.’

Cha Yiseok had told him that while giving him this medicine. He opened the brown case, took a pill and held it up to the light. The dark red color resembled his dry eyes. Or it resembled a dark-colored tongue. The insides of his brain felt mushy. It felt like he was taking the medicine before he even started taking it.

It was the third day after taking the drug Cha Yiseok brought. The first day was just okay. The second day was a problem. The day before yesterday, a pale man appeared. In the meantime, it had occasionally appeared and surprised Yaba, but it was the first time that it appeared as often as it has been these days.

His heart was beating frequently, and he was so nervous that he couldn’t sleep. The flesh hurt like cutting with a knife. He felt nauseous and didn’t want to eat. Cha Yiseok said that Yaba’s body was adapting to the new drug.

Yaba took out a pill, held it lightly with his lips, and then removed it. The medicine he was taking had a slightly salty taste, but this one had a slightly sweet taste. Then whispered the worm that had slept in the inner ear.

New drug? If you believe that straight away, one pill would be less than a lethal dose, so you willingly ate it too. By now, he was probably laughing at you, who had been deceived, right? You know too much. Now, Cha Myunghwan will also be out of breath, and you are no longer useful, so he decided it would be better to get rid of you. You know that better than anyone. Are you going to keep pretending you don’t know?

Blockhead! Blockhead! Blockhead! Blockhead! Blockblockblockblock…

“Shut up! Shut up!”

Slap! Slap! Yaba slapped his ear and shoved a finger into his ear canal to get the bugs out. Crushed worms on his nails were stingy. Yaba threw his medicine case into the trash. He grabbed the pill in his hand as if to crush it.

Call him now and find out! Hurry!

An insect that had half of its body blown away pressed on. Yaba moved around the room like a lizard with a severed tail. He saw the phone on Cocaine’s bed. He would ask Cocaine for Cha Yiseok’s number, but he had no intention of relying on him. You had to acquire things by yourself to truly own it. Yaba quickly pressed the button. He stopped his hand the moment he looked at the list of recent calls. The first name on the list was Cha Yiseok. It was Cocaine. He quickly stole the number and hid it at the bottom of his brain so that it would not be detected and eaten by insects.

Then, Cocaine entered the room. Yaba was so startled that he held onto the number that was about to dissipate in his head. Yaba hid Cocaine’s phone in his pants and laid down on his bed. Cocaine rummaged through his shelves and bag, then straightened his back and asked.

“Have you seen my phone?”

“I haven’t seen it.”

“Where did it go… ?”

Cocaine sighed and stood up. He turned his head and had bizarre eyes. Since yesterday, he had often been looking at Yaba with those eyes. It felt like leeches were crawling on his face. Cocaine suddenly walked to the water purifier. He filled the cup with water and walked over to it and held it out. The water in which poison was poured into this morning. When Yaba didn’t move, Cocaine said.

“Aren’t you going to take medicine?”

Yaba parted his dry lips.

“Never mind.”

“Aren’t you holding it in your hand to take it?”

Yaba then threw the antidepressant that was in his hand on the bed.

“I said no.”

Cocaine said with a smirk.

“Then why don’t you ever drink the water in this room? Even though there is a water purifier right next to you, you always drink only what is in the refrigerator. Does the water purifier contain poison?”

Yaba’s heart shrunk. The thoughts in his head were so tumultuous that it was impossible to determine whether Cocaine was joking or serious.

“Who would poison you?”

As Yaba slowly took the cup, he felt proud of himself for dealing with it calmly. He put the pill that had been lying on the bed into his mouth and swallowed it with water. The poisonous water melted Yaba’s tongue and esophagus and entered his stomach. Sweat pooled down his spine as he struggled to contain the rising nausea. Yaba looked at him, spinning the cleanly emptied cup. Cocaine sighed and sat on the bed across from him. After being silent for a while, he finally opened his mouth.

“I was hesitant whether to continue or not, but I think you should know…”

Yaba held his breath and looked only at his lips. Lips with fine lines opened slightly and then closed repeatedly. The first thing that arrived was Cocaine’s eyes. He said in a hoarse voice.

“I saw… Sejun hyung.”

“Who is that?”

Yaba asked back the unfamiliar name. Cocaine furrowed his brow.

“Are you asking because you don’t know?”

“I don’t know so I’m asking.”

“It’s your brother.”

It was a strange word, like the sound of a tape being stretched. Yaba lifted his gaze from his toes and looked at Cocaine.

“What nonsense? You killed him. Did you dream?”

“I was skeptical at first too. But it really was Sejun hyung. He’s a gardener now…”

“What kind of crazy person would leave their garden to such a guy? And how did you recognize a face you had only seen a few times 10 years ago?”

“Because he looks like you.”

“There are a lot of pig figures like this in the world. Stop talking nonsense and get some rest. Your complexion looks terrible right now.”

“Don’t be sarcastic. It really was Sejun’s older brother. He is the caretaker of the garden in Cha Yiseok’s house.”

“…”

The words seemed to be thrown to the floor out of nowhere. Cocaine always inflicted deep internal wounds with such a courteous face. This was why he yearned for his downfall.

“… Did you go to Yiseok’s parents’ house? Why?”

Cocaine let out a sigh and shrugged it off.

“It doesn’t matter now. Your brother…”

“I asked why you went to his house!”

The conversation they had a while ago flew away cleanly, and only one thing made Yaba’s blood boil. Cocaine faced him with a cold face.

“Cha Yiseok’s mother is ill. So I decided to visit his home on a regular basis for treatment.”

“Did he say it himself? For you to… go to his parents’ home and heal his mother?”

“Yes.”

Cocaine answered without a delay. Yaba grabbed his hand as if squeezing his raw flesh. That was it. He was talking nonsense just to bring that up in the end. The family house and Cha Yiseok’s mother, the villa and Cha Yiseok’s half-brother. The real one in the sun, the fake one in the musty shade. A tribute to Cocaine who saved the family, and a cheap greeting to the clown who performed the play. It was a very straightforward procedure. The body temperature, which had fallen to the floor, did not rise.

“What are you going to do about Sejun hyung?”

Cocaine asked tenaciously. He couldn’t hear anything. Nothing. Yaba raised his cold gaze.

“How many times do I have to tell you? He’s dead. You killed him.”

A shadow fell on Cocaine’s forehead.

“I also resent meeting him in the first place. I made it clear. Whatever happens, don’t blame me.”

Cocaine turned around harshly. At that moment, he staggered and fell to the floor. He gasped for his breath with a white face. Yaba’s heart, which was beating wildly, responded in a different way. Yaba looked at Cocaine who had a bad complexion and bit his fingernails.

“What’s the matter? Are you sick?”

The voice cracking in the air was like a mechanical sound without body temperature.

“It’s just that I’m a little dizzy…”

The unfinished work struggled to get up and sit on the bed. Cocaine broke out in a cold sweat. Now, the time has come for Yaba’s work to be completed. It was a sign that the time to truly love Cocaine was near.

Cocaine, after a long time, went out at Hashish’s call. Yaba ran straight into the bathroom and shoved his finger into his throat. He drained all the water he drank a moment ago. Blood rushed to his head and he felt sick. It was only when he vomited all the poison in his stomach that he was at peace. Yaba threw Cocaine’s phone that was in his pants into the toilet and flushed it. The white cell phone was swept away by the current with a scream. Wouldn’t it be great if Cocaine was sucked into the filth…

Humans were born out of filth. They were formed into a seed-like fetus after a period of continuous asceticism, nurtured by human waste with a disgusting smell. The downfall of Cocaine was a return to true nature.

Suddenly, Yaba’s hand trembled and a cold sweat broke out. His head hurt as if he had been dug up with an awl. Yaba took out the medicine he had thrown in his trash can and ate it. Whether it was his body getting used to a new drug or a poison that killed him slowly… He swallowed the pills without water. He pulled out Cha Yiseok’s number hidden in his head and pressed the buttons on his own phone one by one. The buttons were like squirming eyes. Yaba touched the concise and cool number completed on the screen.

“Yiseok-ah. This drug is weird…”

And he murmured…