Healer

Yaba knew only a few things about him. He’s from the ‘Taeryung family’ that everyone knew by name, and he came here almost every other day, but Yaba had never seen him sober and he was also one of the people who were captivated by Cocaine.

Every time Cha Yiseok walked, his shirt and pants drained water. Yaba hid under the mask and peeped at him leisurely. He was tall enough for him to hold his chin up and look at. Water dripped from his hair, which would have been neatly combed during the day. You could stare at his cool relaxed eyes until you get tired of looking at them. He walked over without a glance and looked at the masked Cocaine. Cocaine bowed his head slightly to greet him. Cha Yiseok tried to focus his drugged-stained eyes somehow.

“Hello.”

His voice was damp as if his vocal cords were wet.

“I took a shortcut because I was so happy to see you. What about you?”

“… Yes?”

“I’m asking if it’s nice to see me.”

After a brief silence, Cocaine bit his lower lip and nodded his head. Cha Yiseok slipped his tie back around his neck and raised his hand to Cocaine’s mask. Cocaine reflexively pulled back.

“You’re not allowed to see my face…”

“Ah, that’s right.”

Cha Yiseok removed his hand from the mask. He tilted his torso, observing the barely exposed lips of the Cocaine and the pupils that appeared through the hole in the mask. He looked desperate to see the face below it. At that moment, Sungjae, who was in the crowd, removed the woman on top of him, and got up from his chair. Arriving on stage staggering, he frowned as the light reflected from the mask was dazzling.

“What kind of festival is this again? Who is Cocaine? Raise your hand!”

“Guess.”

Cha Yiseok said. Sungjae glanced at the young man in front of him. “This guy. I just got a feeling about it.” and pointed to the Cocaine.

“I wonder what he looks like?”

When Sungjae placed his hand on the Cocaine mask, Cha Yiseok took it and lowered it down. The movement of his hand seemed to twist his friend’s wrist. “Okay. Okay.” Sungjae looked at the young men with his arms crossed. The people who came to this kind of place were people who had no one to bow their heads to. From their appearance, it was like a peaceful jungle that had already been ranked.

“Then you don’t even know his face yet? It’s surprising that Cha Yiseok falls for a guy he’s never seen before.”

“It’s a different kind of pleasure to just hear the voice and imagine it. What kind of tone you will have when you are drowsy, what kind of sound will you make when you climax.”

Cha Yiseok had a curious expression, but he seemed to enjoy the unknown secrets. Cocaine was already used to it, so he replied without hesitation.

“You said you wanted to be healed, so you came, but if we’re obstructed, we will leave.”

However, the nape of his neck was a little red. Cha Yiseok kept his eyes on Cocaine’s lips under the mask.

“With this kind of fragile skin, even just a little bit of sucking will leave marks. The colour of the lips is similar to the colour of the nipple, hmm…”

It was more like excrement than words. Sweat formed under Cocaine’s earlobe at the indecent words, and Hashish’s fists trembled faintly. Yaba, who had been watching all this from a concealed place, turned away. Sungjae pointed his thumb at his friends over the pool.

“Are you that good at singing? Pick a song and we’ll see how great it is. There are so many wounded souls out there.”

“While you’re at it, take off all your clothes! We’re not uptight people!”

Friends laughed and hooted. The atmosphere of the young men grew cold, but no one expressed dissatisfaction with Gods’1 ridicule.

“Sing anything. We’ll enjoy it well over there.”

Cha Yiseok gently brushed the feathers on the Cocaine’s mask and turned around. His gaze as he turned around collided with Yaba’s. It felt like his black eyes were penetrating the nerves. So it took him a while to get out of the dizziness. Cha Yiseok suddenly stroked his right cheek with his index finger.

“It’s bleeding.”

Yaba looked at him blankly through the hole in the mask, but didn’t move. He would be right that he couldn’t move. If he moved his hand to wipe the blood, the fat of his forearm would shake. He didn’t want his droopy fat being pushed into the palm of his hand to be seen. Seeing the unresponsive Yaba, Cha Yiseok smiled softly. Giha warned them not to be deceived by their kindness. With such a kind face, he said, he was a kind of terrifying cruelty.

The eyes that met Yaba moved away. Yaba took advantage of Cha Yiseok’s back that was turned to him and rubbed his cheek. The white arm warmer was bloody from scratching badly earlier. Sungjae went to his friends’ seats and sat down, and Cha Yiseok joined the group.

As soon as Cha Yiseok sat down, a bewitching woman rubbed one of her breasts. He moved the woman to her side and buried his torso in the back of the sofa. He looked more like laundry than sitting. Cha Yiseok shook his head lightly and said.

“Listen. You’ll see why they were all named after drugs.”

“Hey, why don’t you take your clothes off? Singing isn’t just about listening!”

“Hahaha…”

People were either derisive or indifferent. The young men were trapped on a fantastic stage, and there was the sound of chewing and spitting and ridicule and clinking glasses. At that moment, without any warning, the voice of Cocaine spread like light. It was Rachmaninoff’s Vocalise Op.34 No.14.

AH~~~ AH~~~~~~

It was as elegant as a female soprano, but much more powerful and explosive. Those who were defenseless to the boy soprano, the sound that could never come out of a grown man, stopped their movements. The laughing expressions frozed like a photograph, and the people’s eyes grew wide. It was the faces that were mesmerised by the natural beauty and mysterious technique that surpassed the female vocal range.

The single melody without lyrics was full of life as deep and rich as water. In the low note, he held onto it with a thin voice and gradually raised expectations, but in the high-pitched range, he struck without hesitation as if penetrating the brain. With a range beyond imagination, the audience was so ecstatic that they could not control it. A sound that was too transparent to capture in this decadent room spread.

Cha Yiseok leaned back in his chair, looking at the Cocaine with unfocused eyes. The following repertoire followed. It was Bach, Gounod’s Ave Maria. Yaba liked Cacchini’s Ave Maria more than Gounod’s. Of course, this preference could not be reflected. The young people created harmony with the Cocaine’s lead. The rich voices resonated enough to make the wide space feel cramped.

Ave Maria, gratia plena Dominus tecum Benedicta tu in mulieribus et benedictus fructus ventris tui Jesus.

Mary, full of grace, rejoice. Blessed are you among women, for you are with me, and blessed are you, the son of your womb, Jesus.

Hashish and Cocaine exchanged one syllable each, and then Cocaine took over. Even with the same lyrics, it became a special language through Cocaine. It enveloped the listener like a great mother. As unchanged as the day when Yaba’s soul was first tied up, more beautiful and mysterious than that… The young men created a beautiful chord that made the Cocaine stand out.

Yaba chewed on the lyrics and spat it out. He had no intention of being Cocaine’s accompaniment, but it was also because his voice couldn’t come out because of the fat in his vocal cords. Instead of him, his own, torn scrotum sang hard.

Sancta Maria, Sancta Maria, Maria Ora Pro nobis Nobis peccatoribus Nunc et in hora, in hora mortis nostrae…

Mary, Mary, Mary, pray for us sinners now and at the time of our death…

The sophisticated and magical tone was a song that stole the soul like the siren who seduced sailors in the old days. The audience closed their eyes and stretched their body and mind to the beauty created. Cha Yiseok had his hazy eyes fixed on the Cocaine. Every time Cocaine sang, his chest swelled and a rhythm rode on his trembling shoulders. Even without looking at his face, he would have imagined the supreme beauty with that voice alone.

The chords of the underlings followed. Soon after, Cocaine’s voice stepped up and trampled the chords that were stacked several times. Yaba’s chords were also crushed and hit higher and higher. Yaba stared at the light that was in his field of vision as if possessed. He savoured the light reflected off the giant mirror that was the water.

What are light particles…? Particles of light consist of the darkness of others. Because light only travels forward without refraction or backward, it shines so selfishly. Yaba wanted to pierce his eardrum.

Amen. Amen. Ah…

Cocaine’s voice quietly retreated. A stillness heavier than the sound of singing weighed on the room. Cocaine let out a small sigh. It was because it was difficult to get out being immersed in himself rather than feeling relieved that he finished it safely. Other young men also failed to escape from the world created by Cocaine. All the guests looked like their souls came out of their bodies, and even the topless women covered in mascara shed tears. The friends, who had been stiff in their awkward postures, suddenly shouted.

“Hey, this is killing me! How do you get a voice like this? I think the voice break period (during puberty) is far past!”

“I haven’t been able to breathe since the first verse! Look at the goosebumps… !”

“W-what is this? Your voice sounds just like a flute… !”

The trembling of the hands of the excited women was also seen. Even Sungjae couldn’t break free from the afterglow with an unbelievable expression on his face. In the midst of the chaos, Cha Yiseok did not move. He leaned his torso behind the sofa and sat like a headless corpse. Then his head slowly rose and knelt forward, and he grabbed the wet hair with his fingers. He opened his bitten lip and let out a ‘whew’..

“I came.”

His friends giggled as they threw fruit into his bulging heart. Cha Yiseok alone was serious. Cocaine turned his blushing face to the side. Yaba looked at his bulging trousers and then looked at Cha Yiseok looking at the Cocaine. Expensive suits were so disorganised that the original value could not be guessed. His outer appearance was noble, but that look right now only smelled like something from a fish store on the market floor. Even the occasional laughter was light and fishy like the scales of raw fish. Even so, he couldn’t take his eyes off of this…

Maybe it was because he thought it might be the smell of the sea.