Heart of Darkness

Angelica noticed the way Rayven's eyes changed from when he watched her eat the bread with cheese to when she licked her finger. Just to make sure she picked the chocolate again with her finger and this time she sucked the chocolate away. This thing tasted like heaven and while she was completely taken by the chocolate she was also aware of his hot gaze. It reminded her of when he sucked her finger and with all that had happened after, he seemed to know what to do to make her… she didn't know what the right word would be. But either way, she felt this was unfair. He knew what to do with her but she didn't know what to do with him. She wanted to know what would make him flustered and bothered as well. 

Oh, Angelica stop! She told herself. When faced with unfairness she always became too brave. Like when Rayven called her foolishly brave for the first time. She had indeed been foolishly brave but she couldn't help that side of herself. And then there was her curiosity. Both adding to each other, she just couldn't stop. How would he react? Would he react the same way she did or at least feel what she felt? If he looked at her like that when she sucked her own finger, something would certainly happen if she did the same with his. 

After dipping his finger into the chocolate she gently grabbed his hand. Rayven turned to her with slight confusion in his eyes and that almost made her change her mind. Just like he did with her, she bent the rest of his fingers and as she lifted it to her lips she could see his eyes widen. Putting his finger into her mouth she felt the taste of sweet, warm chocolate. Rayven tensed, his lips parted and she could see how he sucked in a quick breath. His eyes darkened as he watched her pull his finger out of her mouth and when she released his hand he drew it back slowly still surprised. 

"It tastes good," she smiled trying to fill the long silence that followed her action. It was as if he had lost his voice. Speechless, just like she had been. She must have succeeded because she could see the way his Adam's apple rose and fell as he swallowed and then he cleared his throat while avoiding her gaze. 

"Good," his jaw tensed. "You can...um… dip the fruit in the chocolate and eat it." He said getting up. "I will get dressed." 

Angelica watched him as he left the bed to find some clothes. It was nice but also disturbing how everything was ready in this place. She had really thought that she would need to make a quick trip back home whenever she needed clothes but everything was ready. Either Rayven prepared everything before they came here or Lucrezia did something. She wasn't sure what to think of her yet. So far she had to admit to herself that she liked the woman and Rayven didn't seem to mind her even though she was his punisher. 

Taking a piece of fruit she dipped it in the chocolate before eating it, all while watching Rayven get dressed. He grabbed one of those silken fabrics again, that males wore around their hips. Dropping his towel, he wrapped it around himself. He then slid into a matching robe but this time he covered his chest by holding it together with a belt. 

Going to the dresser he began looking for something, impatiently. When he finally found the comb he began to comb his damp hair. His expression changed from flustered and tense to something else as he continued to look at himself in the mirror. 

His face. 

He was now almost completely healed. She wondered what was going through his mind but from his expression, she guessed that it was not something good. Did he want to hurt himself again? 

Angelica crawled out of bed and when she stood up she felt a bit dizzy before things cleared in front of her and she could walk. She went to him and put her hands on his arm and rested her cheek on his back as if giving him a light hug. He dropped the hand in which he held the comb. 

"What is wrong?" 

"Nothing," he replied. 

"Does your face reflect your heart? Have you healed?" she asked him. 

He swiveled around. There was both calmness and sadness in his eyes as he watched her. "I almost forgot about my face." He said it as a bad thing. 

"It is alright," she told him. 

He shook his head. "I can never forget. If I forget, I will become 'him' again." 

Him? Demos? 

"Rayven, you won't…" 

"I will!" he cut her off with such conviction. "I am pride. They say humans are prone to sin, but demons are even more. We all have a weakness and mine is my pride. It is my demon. It is inside of me and if I forget it, it will start calling for me." 

Angelica nodded understandingly. "I… I will remind me. When you become prideful, I will remind you. You don't have to cut your face for that. I am here." She said taking his hand. 

They looked at each other for a long moment and then he wrapped his arms around her. Angelica hugged him back and then he kissed her head. Oh, how she liked this feeling of being held. It was different. Made her feel protected. Safe. She had to go very far back in years to remember what a safe hug felt like. 

"Come," Rayven took her hand and walked her back to bed. After removing the tray and placing it on the bed stand, he tucked them under the blankets and held her in his arms. 

"Do you feel tired or dizzy?" He asked her. 

"A little dizzy," she admitted. 

"I took a lot of blood," he sounded apologetic. "You need to rest and eat well. I will order lunch after you get some rest." 

Order? 

"Do you have servants here?" 

"Ah well, they are not my servants. Just servants. They are not here but it is easy to call them when needed. When I am gone, then it is Lucrezia who does that." 

"What kind of person is she?" Angelica asked curiously. 

Rayven was quiet for a moment. "I cannot adequately describe her. She is complicated, secretive, dark and twisted like most of us. But she has her good sides too."

"Do you think she means well?" 

He was silent and thoughtful again. "Maybe, but I believe her when she says that she is not a friend or a foe. Her actions are very intentional and not always for our sake." 

Angelica only became more curious. What would Lucrezia gain from their redemption? 

"How did you first meet her?" 

"After my mother died, I… I tried to ignore my grief by becoming even more ruthless and in my train of destruction I one day woke up in a cave. I tried to leave but none of my powers worked in the cave. I was stuck and… I would burn. There was an invincible fire that would burn me over and over again and I began to believe I was in hell. I had died and I was paying for my sins. Well, somehow I was in hell. Hell is different for everyone." He explained. 

"After being burned for what felt like an eternity, I was taken to what seemed like heaven. Now that my sins were burned away, I could live in heaven but I realized it was only a way to stop me from getting used to the pain. After relaxing in heaven I would be taken back to hell and the pain would feel worse than before. The last time I visited heaven and the torture of heaven and hell stopped, I met Lucrezia's father. He was the most frightening thing I had ever seen. He introduced his daughter as my punisher. He told me she was a new punisher and I was only her third sin. He told me I was lucky, that his daughter wasn't experienced, so she would experiment to learn. He was… very strange." 

That was disturbing, Angelica thought. 

"I am glad it is over." She whispered mostly to herself. 

"Me too."

"How did you meet the other Lords?" She wondered. 

Angelica could feel him smile now. "I knew Lucrezia was punishing other sins but we never met until the last sin joined. It was surprising because at that time sloth was not a sin that was punished. According to Arch's laws, only actions were punished not inactions. But Skender was brought and we were suddenly supposed to become a group where the Sloth would be our leader. You can only imagine how rebellious we were." He chuckled and Angelica smiled. She could tell it was a good memory for him now. 

"What about you? What happened to your friends? The one you stayed with? And the one at the wedding didn't seem nice." 

Angelica nodded feeling sad at the thought again. 

"I had four friends. We were very close. We used to do everything together and I would feel much less lonely with them. But we grew up and… things changed. We changed. Our friendship changed and I just kept holding on." 

"That is something you do," he added. "When people are bad to you, you have to walk away sometimes."

He was talking about himself. 

"I know, I just…I don't know." She sighed. 

"You cherished the friendship you had and hoped it was still there somehow." He added. 

She nodded in agreement. "I deeply cared for them once. They were the only ones I could talk to." 

"I know," Rayven kissed her hair and drew her closer. "I can tell you that the one at the wedding doesn't hate you. She knows you are a good friend. She is just jealous and insecure. The problem is her, not you." 

"You will make friends one day. Friends who realize how lucky they are to have you." 

Angelica smiled and then closed her eyes. 

One day.. Perhaps.