Heart of Darkness
Chapter 37 - 32
Angelica had no chance of escaping. In the basement, there was only one small window, through which sunlight came in. But even if she could escape, what would she actually do?
Her father was right when he laughed at her threat. It would be dangerous and foolish to go to the King to expose her own father, that is, if she even could bring herself to do that. How could she be the cause of her father's death and for what purpose? To be a woman alone in this world?
Without a man, there was almost nothing she could do. Especially if she exposed her father as a traitor. Her world would crumble.
There was also no guarantee that the King would believe her and suspicion alone could lead to her execution. It was also not rare for a King to execute the traitor with his family members, especially the males to eliminate any threat of them wanting revenge in the future.
She could put her brother in danger even if she didn't think that Skender was that kind of King. She wouldn't gamble with her brother's life.
The only way out she could think of was to escape with her brother, but where could she go? Would she even be able to reach her destination as a young woman traveling alone?
Whatever solution she thought of, there seemed to be an obstacle. Angelica cursed herself. She should have gotten married when she had the chance. She would have been able to protect herself and her brother.
The only thing that could save her now was if by some miracle her father decided to change his mind but she had no high hopes.
Now she could only wait and see what fate had in store for her.
Food was slipped into the basement, once while she was asleep and the second time she didn't get any food, because she ran to the door when she heard it open.
Thomas closed it again. "Go to the back of the room My Lady or you won't get any food." He said.
She had refused and tried to convince him to release her, but he only got annoyed and left. She wasn't hungry, anyway. Her stomach was hurting and her heart was feeling heavy. Even though she had spent two nights and one day in the basement, it felt like forever.
Angelica knew that she only had to wait a little more. William would figure out that something was wrong and save her. But before that could happen Thomas came in the morning and opened the door to the basement. He stood at the entry with sunken shoulders and teary eyes.
Angelica's heart dropped to her stomach. Oh Lord, please let this be a nightmare, but she was fully awake.
Getting up from the dirty mattress on the basement floor she slowly walked to the door. She looked at Thomas, feeling her eyes burn with tears and a large lump in her throat.
"What...what happened?" She asked.
"I… I am… sorry for your loss, My lady."
"No. No, no." She took a step back but Thomas kept his head down.
"No!" She called and rushed out of the basement. She ran upstairs and when she came to the hall, her handmaiden Eva was crying while hugging her brother and their two kitchen maids were crying as well.
Angelica felt an icy coldness crawl up her body from her fingertips. Her body was slowly freezing. She couldn't move or think. She just stood there, and she didn't know for how long. Eva came to hug her. Angelica could see her lips moving but she couldn't hear what she was saying.
Then she saw her brother's accepting gaze and realized that William knew all along. He knew their father would die. His most frightening nightmares that he only told her about in vague detail was about their father's death.
All the behavior of not caring about his disappearance was only to protect himself from the coming heartache. Her heart broke into a million pieces at the realization.
The next few hours in her life were blurry. She kept crying silent tears while everyone spoke of burial and her father's dead body. Angelica felt sick. She felt like she was going to faint soon when her brother came and put his hand on hers.
"It is going to be alright." He said.
That was when she burst into tears and cried loudly. William hugged her and stroked her back. It should have been the opposite but Angelica couldn't contain herself.
After a long crying session, she had an extreme headache. It felt like someone was hammering in her head.
"My Lady, you should get dressed for the funeral. We are going to the church." Eva said.
Church? What was her father's dead body doing in a church? As a traitor, he was not worthy of a proper funeral.
She wiped her tears and looked over at Thomas. "I need to speak to you." She said standing up. She headed toward the parlor and he followed her. "What is happening?" She whispered when they got away from others.
"The King found your father before he could attack the castle and killed him."
Angelica felt a knot in her stomach and her head spun but she tried to focus.
"Then what is my father's body doing in church?"
"I am confused too. It seems like the King didn't expose him as…" he stopped.
"A traitor." Angelica finished his sentence.
Her legs felt weak.
What was the King's plan? Why would he allow the man who tried to kill him to get away and have a proper funeral?
"We should give your father a proper burial before anything changes. I don't know what His Majesty is planning."
Angelica reached for the table beside her to hold herself and nodded.
The world was rushing in front of her eyes, and Angelica couldn't keep up. Eva helped her get dressed for the funeral but she wasn't ready to leave yet. She wouldn't be able to make it.
Eva told her to sit down and take a moment. Angelica sat down and breathed in and out for a while. When she thought she could walk again without her head spinning, they left for her father's funeral.
Everyone was draped in black, even her father's corpse. He didn't look dead. To her, he only seemed to be asleep. Candles were lit around where he lay in the coffin but Angelica could see no light.
A few people who knew her father came by to give their condolences and her friends came as well.
Here friends were shocked by the sudden change of events. Most of them had fathers who were soldiers, so they somehow expected that there was a chance of their father not coming back alive when they went to war but this was unexpected.
Everyone wondered what had happened and all Angelica could say was that a few soldiers had found her father dead and delivered his corpse to their home. That was what Thomas and the other's had told her. Those soldiers were at the funeral and promised to find her father's killer.
What would they do if they found him? He was the King.
Did the King keep it a secret because of her? She remembered their conversations, especially the last one when he said their fate would end badly. Was this what he meant? Did he know all along and waited for the right moment to kill her father?
It had to be.
That was why he denied her. She understood everything now, but it didn't make it any less confusing.
Angelica had to endure the rest of the day until her father was buried. It was the longest day of her life and she was cold and empty when she returned home.
Without changing her clothes she lay down on her bed curled up. Eva came and put fire in the hearth and lit a few candles but that didn't make her feel less cold.
"Eva."
"Yes, My Lady."
"Did you know that I was locked?"
"Yes, My Lady." She looked down at her hands. "They told me you misbehaved. I know you didn't and I don't know why your father locked you in."
"I want you to leave." Angelica said.
"My Lady,"
"Leave." Angelica repeated calmly.
She still felt empty inside, but the anger was slowly building up and Thomas was still here. She didn't want to take out her anger on Eva.
Eva left the room with her head down. Angelica felt the tears stream down her face. She shivered from the cold and wished her mother was here to hug her. But both her parents were buried. They were dead.
Angelica heard her brother sneak into the room. He crawled up on her bed and she could feel him lie down. He remained silent for some time and she remained turned away.
William must have hated their father even more when he found out that she got locked away. She already saw how he ignored Thomas during the day and gave him hard glares.
She should have been the one angry and the one to console him but she was the one crying. She truly failed.
She failed her brother, and she failed to fulfill her mother's last wish of keeping their family together.
Her brother spoke at last. "I see a long dark road ahead but there is a source of light at the end." He said. "Everything will be alright at the end."
Angelica turned around to face him. "Why didn't you tell me?" She asked.
"I didn't want you to lose hope. You said we should always have hope for the better. You should have hope for the better." He said.
Angelica wasn't sure about having hope anymore.
"Is this why you wanted me to get married?" She asked.
All the hard training her brother had been doing and all the talk about wanting to protect her and wanting her to get married wasn't only about the monsters. She should have listened. She should have tried harder. They would have been protected now.
"I want you to be safe." He said. "But I also want you to be happy."
Angelica reached for her brother and stroked his hair. She wasn't sure about happy, but she would make sure they were safe.
Her father was right when he laughed at her threat. It would be dangerous and foolish to go to the King to expose her own father, that is, if she even could bring herself to do that. How could she be the cause of her father's death and for what purpose? To be a woman alone in this world?
Without a man, there was almost nothing she could do. Especially if she exposed her father as a traitor. Her world would crumble.
There was also no guarantee that the King would believe her and suspicion alone could lead to her execution. It was also not rare for a King to execute the traitor with his family members, especially the males to eliminate any threat of them wanting revenge in the future.
She could put her brother in danger even if she didn't think that Skender was that kind of King. She wouldn't gamble with her brother's life.
The only way out she could think of was to escape with her brother, but where could she go? Would she even be able to reach her destination as a young woman traveling alone?
Whatever solution she thought of, there seemed to be an obstacle. Angelica cursed herself. She should have gotten married when she had the chance. She would have been able to protect herself and her brother.
The only thing that could save her now was if by some miracle her father decided to change his mind but she had no high hopes.
Now she could only wait and see what fate had in store for her.
Food was slipped into the basement, once while she was asleep and the second time she didn't get any food, because she ran to the door when she heard it open.
Thomas closed it again. "Go to the back of the room My Lady or you won't get any food." He said.
She had refused and tried to convince him to release her, but he only got annoyed and left. She wasn't hungry, anyway. Her stomach was hurting and her heart was feeling heavy. Even though she had spent two nights and one day in the basement, it felt like forever.
Angelica knew that she only had to wait a little more. William would figure out that something was wrong and save her. But before that could happen Thomas came in the morning and opened the door to the basement. He stood at the entry with sunken shoulders and teary eyes.
Angelica's heart dropped to her stomach. Oh Lord, please let this be a nightmare, but she was fully awake.
Getting up from the dirty mattress on the basement floor she slowly walked to the door. She looked at Thomas, feeling her eyes burn with tears and a large lump in her throat.
"What...what happened?" She asked.
"I… I am… sorry for your loss, My lady."
"No. No, no." She took a step back but Thomas kept his head down.
"No!" She called and rushed out of the basement. She ran upstairs and when she came to the hall, her handmaiden Eva was crying while hugging her brother and their two kitchen maids were crying as well.
Angelica felt an icy coldness crawl up her body from her fingertips. Her body was slowly freezing. She couldn't move or think. She just stood there, and she didn't know for how long. Eva came to hug her. Angelica could see her lips moving but she couldn't hear what she was saying.
Then she saw her brother's accepting gaze and realized that William knew all along. He knew their father would die. His most frightening nightmares that he only told her about in vague detail was about their father's death.
All the behavior of not caring about his disappearance was only to protect himself from the coming heartache. Her heart broke into a million pieces at the realization.
The next few hours in her life were blurry. She kept crying silent tears while everyone spoke of burial and her father's dead body. Angelica felt sick. She felt like she was going to faint soon when her brother came and put his hand on hers.
"It is going to be alright." He said.
That was when she burst into tears and cried loudly. William hugged her and stroked her back. It should have been the opposite but Angelica couldn't contain herself.
After a long crying session, she had an extreme headache. It felt like someone was hammering in her head.
"My Lady, you should get dressed for the funeral. We are going to the church." Eva said.
Church? What was her father's dead body doing in a church? As a traitor, he was not worthy of a proper funeral.
She wiped her tears and looked over at Thomas. "I need to speak to you." She said standing up. She headed toward the parlor and he followed her. "What is happening?" She whispered when they got away from others.
"The King found your father before he could attack the castle and killed him."
Angelica felt a knot in her stomach and her head spun but she tried to focus.
"Then what is my father's body doing in church?"
"I am confused too. It seems like the King didn't expose him as…" he stopped.
"A traitor." Angelica finished his sentence.
Her legs felt weak.
What was the King's plan? Why would he allow the man who tried to kill him to get away and have a proper funeral?
"We should give your father a proper burial before anything changes. I don't know what His Majesty is planning."
Angelica reached for the table beside her to hold herself and nodded.
The world was rushing in front of her eyes, and Angelica couldn't keep up. Eva helped her get dressed for the funeral but she wasn't ready to leave yet. She wouldn't be able to make it.
Eva told her to sit down and take a moment. Angelica sat down and breathed in and out for a while. When she thought she could walk again without her head spinning, they left for her father's funeral.
Everyone was draped in black, even her father's corpse. He didn't look dead. To her, he only seemed to be asleep. Candles were lit around where he lay in the coffin but Angelica could see no light.
A few people who knew her father came by to give their condolences and her friends came as well.
Here friends were shocked by the sudden change of events. Most of them had fathers who were soldiers, so they somehow expected that there was a chance of their father not coming back alive when they went to war but this was unexpected.
Everyone wondered what had happened and all Angelica could say was that a few soldiers had found her father dead and delivered his corpse to their home. That was what Thomas and the other's had told her. Those soldiers were at the funeral and promised to find her father's killer.
What would they do if they found him? He was the King.
Did the King keep it a secret because of her? She remembered their conversations, especially the last one when he said their fate would end badly. Was this what he meant? Did he know all along and waited for the right moment to kill her father?
It had to be.
That was why he denied her. She understood everything now, but it didn't make it any less confusing.
Angelica had to endure the rest of the day until her father was buried. It was the longest day of her life and she was cold and empty when she returned home.
Without changing her clothes she lay down on her bed curled up. Eva came and put fire in the hearth and lit a few candles but that didn't make her feel less cold.
"Eva."
"Yes, My Lady."
"Did you know that I was locked?"
"Yes, My Lady." She looked down at her hands. "They told me you misbehaved. I know you didn't and I don't know why your father locked you in."
"I want you to leave." Angelica said.
"My Lady,"
"Leave." Angelica repeated calmly.
She still felt empty inside, but the anger was slowly building up and Thomas was still here. She didn't want to take out her anger on Eva.
Eva left the room with her head down. Angelica felt the tears stream down her face. She shivered from the cold and wished her mother was here to hug her. But both her parents were buried. They were dead.
Angelica heard her brother sneak into the room. He crawled up on her bed and she could feel him lie down. He remained silent for some time and she remained turned away.
William must have hated their father even more when he found out that she got locked away. She already saw how he ignored Thomas during the day and gave him hard glares.
She should have been the one angry and the one to console him but she was the one crying. She truly failed.
She failed her brother, and she failed to fulfill her mother's last wish of keeping their family together.
Her brother spoke at last. "I see a long dark road ahead but there is a source of light at the end." He said. "Everything will be alright at the end."
Angelica turned around to face him. "Why didn't you tell me?" She asked.
"I didn't want you to lose hope. You said we should always have hope for the better. You should have hope for the better." He said.
Angelica wasn't sure about having hope anymore.
"Is this why you wanted me to get married?" She asked.
All the hard training her brother had been doing and all the talk about wanting to protect her and wanting her to get married wasn't only about the monsters. She should have listened. She should have tried harder. They would have been protected now.
"I want you to be safe." He said. "But I also want you to be happy."
Angelica reached for her brother and stroked his hair. She wasn't sure about happy, but she would make sure they were safe.
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