Heart of Darkness

"William! Where have you been?" Angelica asked when her brother entered the room. 

He closed the door behind him and began to remove his jacket. "I went to meet His Majesty." He said. 

His Majesty? 

"Why?" She asked him sitting at the corner of the bed and watching him. 

"I wanted to talk to him about my future in court." 

"In court? William…" 

"I know." He cut her off. "But you are marrying a Lord who is close to the King. If he stays in court despite his marriage to you, I don't think me entering court will be a problem." 

Angelica sighed. She knew this marriage would bring many good things for her but she was glad it brought at least one good thing for her brother as well. 

"What did His Majesty say?" 

"He has nothing against it if I go through all the trials to get into court." 

"You have to be thirteen to start the trials and I believe it takes many years," Angelica said. 

"It usually takes three years. That is the youngest age at which someone has entered the court in Kraghorn. I plan to enter when I am fourteen." Her brother said with determination clear in his tone. 

Fourteen in court? That must be frightening amongst all those powerful men but her brother didn't seem fazed. She was worried about him even if he was much smarter than all those men. 

"Do you really have to rush it?" she asked. 

He looked at her and smiled. "There is no rush. It is fun to challenge myself." 

Angelica knew her brother too well to know that he was trying to lighten things to make her worry less. But she wasn't worried about his capability. She was worried about all the people that would envy him and therefore try to bring him down. 

"I thought you wanted to be a knight. Now you seem very determined to enter the court." She said. 

"There is no way to become a knight sooner, but becoming a courtier can happen much faster. There aren't many laws around it since the trials are very difficult, so normally people become courtiers when they are truly ready." 

Angelica nodded. That still didn't explain the sudden change and her brother could see it in her gaze. 

"In court, I can have more influence." He said at last. 

"Come." She told him and then gave him a hug. She knew why he wanted to have influence. Things have been hard, unfair, and frustrating. "I am sure you will have a good influence on many people one day. I can see the future too." 

He chuckled and pulled back to look at her. "You are still worried." He told her. 

"Well, I just don't want His Majesty to get the wrong idea since you are eager to enter court." 

"Don't worry. He is not the enemy." Her brother assured her. 

The enemy? She didn't expect that word. It was like her brother was saying there was an enemy somewhere. 

"I am hungry." William hurried to say when he saw the questioning look in her eyes. 

There was something he wasn't telling her.

They went to the dining hall, where Sarah had served lunch. When they were seated William looked around and then probably remembered what she had told him. Lord Rayven preferred to be alone. Since her brother came back, she could see a look of dissatisfaction on his face. 

"I am sorry you have to endure this." He whispered.

"Endure what?" She asked even though she understood what he meant. He didn't seem very happy about her marriage but he knew she had to do it. "I am alright and content here." 

He nodded with a faint smile and began to eat. 

Angelica was just happy to have William around. They spent time talking, reading, and just doing some work in the garden. They dusted off the library even though she knew Lord Rayven would get upset but since he hadn't said anything about the garden, perhaps he was being nicer before the marriage. She should take advantage of that. 

"So how are Lord Quintus and Lord Valos?" She asked wanting to know about the other Lords. 

She still sensed that the Lords were different and somehow the difference connected them together. The King included. 

"Lord Quintus is funny and Lord Valos is… caring." He shrugged. 

"Did you figure out what is different about them?" 

Her brother suddenly froze and turned to her with eyes wide. "You will know… when the time comes. I can't tell you." 

She didn't like that look on his face. It was a look of fear and worry. 

"What is it William? No secrets." She said. 

"I really can't tell you. I am not the one to tell you. He should tell you." 

"Lord Rayven?" 

"Yes. He probably will." He said with a frown but his eyes darted as if unsure of what he said. 

Then looking disturbed he went back to dig the ground so they could plant new seeds. 

What was going on that she didn't know? As if worrying about the marriage wasn't enough. She still had to ask Lord Rayven what was expected of her as a wife and how they were going to live after the marriage? 

Her heart began to race and she felt pain in her stomach. This was very stressful and she didn't even know yet how the wedding would be. Where would they get married? She had a lot to ask. 

At night when her brother went to sleep, she went to see Lord Rayven knowing he would be sitting in his favorite place and watching the fire. 

She went and sat in front of him without asking this time and he turned to look at her with hooded eyes. He was intoxicated again and held a goblet in his hand. What was making him drink these days? 

"You haven't slept yet…" He spoke his voice not as hard as usual. It was like the previous time he was intoxicated. 

Softer, huskier and… sadder? 

"Is something wrong, My Lord?" She asked concerned. 

He closed his eyes then opened them again. "Your brother doesn't like me." He said.

"Is that a bad thing?" 

He always looked for ways to make people dislike him. 

He chuckled. "You are sharp just like him. I guess it shouldn't be a bad thing for me." 

"It is more about me than you. My brother loves me very much." She told him. She wondered if he would understand but he would have to know unconditional love to understand. One where you put the other before you. One where you are happy for the other person, wish good things for them without wanting anything in return. 

He nodded with eyes red as if he was about to cry. "He does indeed." 

"My Lord? " She felt like she had to ask before he left her behind again. "Where will we get married?" 

He tilted his head back with a groan and then let it fall as if he was exhausted. This caused his hair to fall over his face. It made him look frightening in the dim light. 

"We will get married in Lord Quintus's mansion." 

"What about going to church?" 

"No church. A pastor will be at Lord Quintus's home." 

She nodded. It wasn't obligatory to go to church but since he was a Lord, she thought he would want to do it that way. 

"After the marriage…" She looked down at her hands and rubbed them together nervously. "What… what do you… expect from me?" 

It felt like her heart would jump out of her chest. 

He lifted his head with his mouth slightly open and let out a breath. It was almost as if he was exhausted and tried to catch his breath between her questions. 

"What do I expect from you?" He repeated tilting his head to one side and watching her through the hair that fell over his face. "The normal things a husband expects from his wife. Do you need details?" 

Her eyes widened. Details? Definitely not! 

She cleared her throat. "No. I was just asking… since you like things differently." 

Did he really want her to do all the things a wife should do? Would this mean he would want her near him? Well, he was talking to her tonight even though she wasn't sure if it was him or the alcohol. 

"You will know what I like and dislike in time." He told her then took a sip of what she suspected to be wine. 

Angelica just nodded not knowing what else to say. It was her heart that was loud this time. 

"Why did you become quiet?" He asked after a while. 

Her eyes darted unsure of what he meant. "Well, I have nothing more to ask or say, My Lord." 

"Then read for me." He said surprising her. 

He had a book tucked on his left side that he pulled out and handed over. Angelica took the book from him, still not sure what was going on. He wanted her to read for him? 

It had to be the alcohol. 

Angelica opened the book and began reading from the first page. Lord Rayven leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes, like a child listening to a story before going to sleep. It reminded her of her brother. 

She read the story for him feeling a bit nervous at first but eventually, she became sleepy and looked up from the book. Lord Rayven was still leaning his head back and his eyes were closed. 

Did he fall asleep?

She waited to see if he would react to the fact that she had stopped reading but there was no reaction. 

"My Lord?" She called carefully. 

He shot his eyes open and leaned forward. Looking tired his eyes searched the room. "Ah, it is still night." He muttered as if anything in the hall could indicate that. 

The windows were covered with heavy curtains that blocked any light out. There was no way he could know whether it was day or night if he had fallen asleep. 

He ran his fingers through this hair to push it back and sighed. He seemed to have a hard time keeping his eyes open as he stood up.

Instinctively Angelica reached for him when his legs wobbled, to prevent him from falling. He looked at where she had grabbed his arm but said nothing. 

"I'll help you to your room." She said but he kept stumbling so she put his arm around her shoulders and her arm around his waist. 

Oh, Lord. He was heavy. 

They wouldn't make it since his room was upstairs and when she came to the first step up, she just knew they couldn't walk up the stairs stumbling back and forth as they did. But Lord Rayven took a step forward and she felt a strong wind in her hair before she found herself in a dark chamber, with large windows where moonlight entered. 

Wait! What just happened? How did she get…

Before she could finish the thought, Lord Rayven stumbled forward to his bed and fell down with his arm still around her shoulders. A gasp left her mouth as she fell down on the bed with him. 

Angelica froze in shock when she found herself lying close next to him. She tried to get up but he held her down. "Be still." He said with eyes closed. Angelica became still. 

In the quietness, she could hear her heartbeat. She could feel the heaviness of his arm around her and the light touch of his hand on her back. 

She tried not to breathe, as she found her face close to his chest. He smelled of wood, wine, and something else. Something masculine. 

How did she get into this situation? How did she even get into his room? They were going upstairs and then…

No. It couldn't be possible. She had to be mistaken. 

But she was so sure. She had felt it, felt like she traveled through space. 

She bit her lip. That sounded absurd. 

Suddenly Lord Rayven stirred and drew her even closer to him. Angelica felt the air leave her lungs when she found herself pressed against his body. This had to be a dream. Travelling through space and sleeping in Lord Rayven's arms. 

She carefully removed herself from his hold and sat up. Oh, this wasn't a dream. What was happening then? She began to feel frightened. 

Was this castle truly cursed? Did it contain magic? Perhaps she went through some invincible magic door that took her here? 

Angelica chuckled nervously. Who was reading too many stories now? 

She looked back at Lord Rayven where he was sleeping. Was this perhaps his doing? Was that what was different about him? Was he a wizard? She lightly slapped herself. There was no such thing. 

Then what was this? She was losing her mind. She kept repeating the scene where they were in front of the steps to see if she had missed anything and she didn't. 

Suddenly something flew across the room and her heart leaped to her throat. Her eyes widened and she straightened her ears looking for whatever she saw. 

Slowly she crawled backward in bed when she saw what looked like a bat hanging from the roof. Without moving her head her eyes moved around and she thought that she saw several of them in the room. She stopped breathing. She was surrounded by bats. 

Suddenly one of them opened its wings and Angelica shrieked and fell back in bed, covering her head with her arms. She heard the fluttering of wings in the room and she shut her eyes tightly. 

"Lord Rayven!" She called with a trembling voice without looking up. She then nudged him with her elbow but still no answer from him. 

Angelica kept her eyes shut, praying for the bats to disappear. But how? Both the windows and the door were closed. Without opening her eyes, she moved closer to Lord Rayven as if that would help her. Even though she knew bats didn't hurt people, she was still very much afraid. 

What kind of night was this? She kept lying still, afraid that any movement would attract the bats. 

"William." She now called in silence. 

******

Rayven opened his eyes overcome by a strange sensation. It wasn't the daylight that peeked through the window or the fact that his head throbbed in pain. It was a sweet scent that filled his nostrils and the sound of soft breathing and a calm heartbeat. For a moment he thought he got his heart back and panicked but when he tried to bring his hand to his chest, it was prevented by a firm hold. 

Turning to his left, he found Angelica sleeping next to him. She was curled up and held onto his arm as if she was afraid he would disappear. Rayven stiffened and then stared at her, puzzled. 

What… was this?

He looked up at the ceiling again trying to recall what happened but his mind refused to cooperate. He should stop drinking. 

Feeling anger take over him, Rayven jerked his hand out of her hold and sat up not caring if she woke up. But perhaps he should have cared because she woke up immediately with a loud shriek, startling him. 

Hastily she sat up and searched the room looking scared before her gaze fell on him. Her eyes widened even more when she saw him. 

She cleared her throat then breathed. "There .... there were bats here?" She stuttered as her eyes searched every corner of the room again. 

She was scared of bats, but she could sleep next to him? 

"And…?" He raised a brow. 

"And…" She swallowed then looked at him. "That's why I couldn't leave. They were everywhere." She said motioning with her hands. 

Rayven watched her with curiosity. The only times he had seen her scared was when he truly frightened her. Once when she saw him with his newly scarred face and the other time when he wanted to take her heart. Even then, was she this scared? 

"You couldn't leave because of bats?" 

She opened her mouth to say something then seemed to change her mind. "My Lord. Everyone is scared of something." She defended herself. 

He looked into her frightened blue eyes before his gaze wandered elsewhere unwillingly. Rayven shut his eyes to block out what he was seeing and cursed quietly. 

This woman had just been in his bed, sleeping next to him. She was lucky he fell into a deep slumber. 

"Listen!" He said, opening his eyes and staring deeply into hers. "It is men you should fear. Not bats!"

Could she annoy him more? 

As if taking his hint, she slowly stepped out of his bed and adjusted her dress. Rayven had to hold his breath because her scent was more intoxicating than the wine he had been drinking last night. 

Leave! He wanted to yell so he could finally breathe and relax. How was he going to survive staying in the same house as this woman? 

"My Lord, do I repulse you?" 

What? 

He was confused for a moment, then realized he had moved far out the bed, away from her. 

Repulsed? He wanted to laugh. 

She would wish he was repulsed if she knew what was going through his mind. What the demon that he was wanted. 

He clenched his hands into fists, trying to fight the stronger part of himself. The part of him that was a demon, usually asleep but fully awake when around this woman. 

"Is it because I am a pr…"

"Quiet!" He yelled. "Don't say it!" 

He rushed out of bed and looked at her feeling his blood burn his veins. "You will become my wife and that is what you will be. Nothing else!" 

It became dead quiet as she just stared at him and he back at her. "I wish becoming your wife would make those names disappear, but it won't, My Lord. People will only stop saying it aloud, but you will get those stares and hear those whispers. You will be reminded every day of what your wife is." 

Rayven clenched his jaw. This was his fate. Even his soon-to-be wife was part of his punishment. Humiliation. He was doomed to be humiliated. 

'You are a coward', Skender's voice echoed in his mind. 

"I don't need to be reminded. I know you.." He said.