Heart of Darkness

Angelica woke up after a nightmare. She had a dream about going to her wedding in a white dress and someone spilling a drink on it. Everyone then laughed at her. She could still hear their laughter after she woke up. 

After a knock on her door, Sarah walked inside. "Good morning, My Lady. I thought you would be asleep and came to wake you up." She smiled. 

"Good morning," Angelica replied. 

"It is your wedding day." Sarah smiled excitedly. 

Right. 

She should have been excited on her wedding day but she wasn't. It wasn't as if she was getting married to the man she loved and looked forward to building a future with. The only thing that excited her about the future was her brother. Truly, she would not go through all of this if it wasn't for him. 

"Where is William?" Angelica asked. 

"He is having breakfast, My Lady. I already gave him the clothes you bought for him." 

"Thank you." 

Sarah helped her bathe and get clean while telling her about the wedding plans and in which order things would happen. She took extra care of her, taking her time with scrubbing her body and washing her hair. Angelica had already begun to worry and feel strange things in her stomach. If she survived this day and night then she could survive the rest. 

When Sarah was done taking care of her body and hair, it was time to choose a dress for her wedding. Usually, brides wore the best dress they owned and if they had a white or a blue dress, colors that represented purity, then it was preferred they wore those dresses. 

Lately, more and more brides, as if to flaunt their purity wore white or blue even if it weren't the best dress that they owned. Clearly flaunting purity was better than flaunting your dress. The upper and middle-class ladies who could afford to buy a new dress made sure that they bought it in one of those colors and those of lower-class tried their best to at least own one for their wedding. 

Angelica wasn't pure in people's eyes. If she showed up in a white dress, it would mean she was pretending to be or that she wanted to be. It was the opposite. This whole experience made her hate the whole thing with purity. 

Sarah went to the large chest with new clothes that Lord Rayven had bought her to find an appropriate dress. Instinctively she also chose one of those colors. She held up a light blue one. 

"This looks so beautiful, My Lady. It also matches your eyes." She smiled. 

"Give me something else that is not white or blue."

"Oh…" Sarah said as if realizing the purity thing. "Of course." She then hurried to smile again before going back to look for another dress. 

After looking for a while, Angelica finally decided to wear a red dress decorated with white lace around the neckline and at the end of the sleeves. She paired it with diamond earrings and a diamond bracelet. Sarah put her hair up in a beautiful bun and decorated it with diamond pins before working on her face. In the end, she sprayed some perfume on her. 

Her eyes sparkled. "You look so beautiful, My Lady." She exhaled taking a step back to look at her. 

Angelica felt her stomach turn. She was done. Already! 

"Thank you." She said feeling a bit sick. 

She was good at preparing herself mentally. Why hadn't she done that? She regretted it now. 

She was marrying a man, sometimes kind, other times rude, mean and ill-mannered. Those things didn't bother her as much as the dead look in his eyes and the strange things he did and said sometimes. 

Why did he agree to marry her? What were the benefits for him? Those questions bothered her more than ever now. 

If she couldn't touch him and he wanted her to stay on her side of the castle after the marriage, then it wasn't the usual benefits of getting married. 

Her stomach hurt again and the warning signals she sometimes felt when something wasn't right, went off. Something about this marriage wasn't right. 

Lord Rayven might not have lied to her, but he wasn't telling her the whole truth either. This castle, her future home, and her future husband held dark secrets. Ones she would find out too late. 

Angelica didn't know how she made her way through the halls finally coming to the main hall where Lord Rayven was waiting. He was turned away. As if sensing her presence he turned around without her saying anything. 

His eyes narrowed and darkened upon seeing her. Was that a look of disapproval? Well, she wasn't the kind of bride anyone would expect. She wasn't a badge of honor or a bride to flaunt. 

"The carriage is waiting outside… and your brother." He said. 

His voice sounded strained. 

He turned around and walked away and she followed him. When she walked outside she found two decorated carriages waiting outside and her brother dressed in the clothes she bought for him.

She smiled. Oh, her brother would break hearts when he grew up. He was already so handsome. 

He came up to her with a smile. "You look beautiful, Angelica." His voice was thick with emotion. 

Angelica tried not to tear up. "Thank you." 

She knew she wouldn't be able to hold her tears when the time came for her brother to leave. 

Simu stood near the carriage, a confused look on his face. She had seen his frustration and the many questions in his eyes during the last few days after he found out that she would get married to Lord Rayven. She couldn't blame him for the confusion as she herself didn't understand why someone would agree to marry her. 

Angelica looked around and at the sky before she could get into the carriage. It wasn't a gloomy day. There were a few clouds, but she could still see the blue sky and the sun peeking out from behind a cloud. It was as if it shied away from watching her get married. 

She dismissed the thought and got into the carriage. One step up and her hand tried to find something to hold onto when Lord Rayven suddenly took her hand to help her climb. She looked at him but he refused to meet her gaze as he helped her get inside. 

He climbed in after her and sat across from her before Simu closed the door. Angelica already felt suffocated and the corset of her dress didn't help at all. Her stomach made another turn when the wheels of the carriage started to roll. 

Forcing back whatever she was feeling she looked up at Lord Rayven. He was watching the road through the window, his hair softly getting whipped back by the wind. He wore a dark blue velvet coat with a white shirt and a grey vest underneath paired with grey trousers and black boots. He had a different aura when he was well dressed. He seemed more civilized and approachable yet cunning. 

Even though he was just watching the road his face seemed tense, especially his jaw. He didn't move an inch and she would even think that he wasn't breathing. His eyes seemed darker than usual and his lips were pressed into a thin line. One of his arms rested on the window but his hand held the rim in a hard grip. 

Was he alright? 

"You seem to be close with Lord Quintus?" She said trying to start a conversation to ignore the questions in her mind. 

"Somehow." He replied without looking at her. 

"Are many people coming to the wedding?" 

"Probably." He said. 

Angelica felt a stab in the stomach. Despite trying to remain strong, her hand instinctively went to her stomach. 

"Are you alright?"

She turned to him and found him staring directly at her this time. To think that he looked concerned, she must be dreaming. 

Angelica tried her best to keep her voice steady. "Yes, My Lord." 

He searched her eyes with his gaze, as if not believing her which made her heart race. "I know fear when I see it." His voice was calm unlike his eyes, but his face relaxed. It was almost as if he became satisfied that she was finally scared of him. 

"It is not you I am scared of." She said. 

"Then what?" He pried. 

She was scared of people. Well, he was one of them so perhaps she was scared of him too. She was suddenly scared of everything. She just wanted to go back to the castle, lock herself in that room and never come out again. 

Her fingers became cold and she rubbed her hands together. Suddenly Lord Rayven reached his hand out. She looked at his palm surprised, not knowing what to do. What was that supposed to mean? 

She reached her hand out to place it in his, as that was the only way she could interpret his gesture but then she remembered the no-touching rule and decided to withdraw her hand. Before she could he caught it in his. 

Her hand felt small in his large one. His fingers were warm as they enveloped hers and his palm strangely smooth for a warrior's hand. It was as if he had never held a sword or been in a fight before. 

"Just for today… I will behave as you wish." He spoke softly.

As she wished?

"Do you wish not to get married?" He asked.

"I… I do want to." She stuttered. 

"Then what are you scared of?" 

Everything and nothing. 

"I don't know." She whispered looking down.

Her lips became dry as she felt his gaze never leave her face as if trying to find out the truth. His hold around her hand tightened. 

"Angelica." 

Angelica looked at him at once, completely taken by surprise. It was the first time he said her name and the way he said it… as if pleading, calling, drawing her to him made her stop breathing. 

"I know you to be brave." He said. 

Foolishly brave. That was what he had said. 

"Tell me…" His voice was deep and compelling. 

"I am scared, My Lord." She admitted. "People…"

"People…" he cut her off. "Will be… jealous of your beauty. And they will envy me because you will be mine." 

Angelica's lips parted but she couldn't speak. She just gazed into his obsidian eyes. Who was this man?