Heart of Darkness

( Red-haired, blue-eyed

Today this beauty became my bride

I took her home where I used to hide 

But now she might sleep by my side )

"Don't leave." Angelica hummed. 

Rayven remained seated next to her and watched her sleep peacefully. She lay curled, with her head resting on her hands above the pillow and a few hair strands falling over her face. That hair that always made his hands itch. 

Unable to stop himself, he removed the hair from her face and tucked it behind her ear. Then his fingers itched, even more, to touch her face, to feel her skin beneath his fingertips, but he stopped himself and pulled his hand away. 

At least her face he shouldn't touch, yet today he had kissed her.. He had prepared himself the night before but no amount of preparation could prepare him for that kiss. Only the touch of her lips made the blood in his veins flow again as if he had a heart beating in his chest. His cold body became inflamed and the taste of her mouth caused hunger to rise within him. This time it wasn't his claws that wanted to come out, but his gums that itched. His fangs forcefully pierced their way out as the demon in him approved of making this woman his. 

When fangs got involved, it was bad. Really bad. It was the first step toward mating and as soon as his demon sensed that this woman approved of being mated to him, then it would become almost impossible to resist. But he didn't have to worry about that. This woman would never want his fangs anywhere near her throat. 

He looked at her red dress on the floor. She had chosen this color on this specific day of all days to torture him even more. Red appealed to demons and triggered their senses. Her wearing red did more than just trigger his senses. He couldn't even manage to avoid her scent because he needed to breathe to stay calm. He had so badly wanted to not see that dress on her anymore that he ended up sounding like the men she met in the brothel. 

His intent was never to remind her of those days. He hadn't even meant to touch her. The only reason he brought her to his room was that her brother was here. To leave her alone on her wedding night wouldn't look good. And now here he was reading a book for her until she fell asleep.

What was he doing?

How hard could it be to say no? It was the guilt but doing these things would make him no better person. 

He stood up from his seat and went to the dresser. Despite the darkness, he could see his reflection clearly in the mirror, see the scars on his face that were fading away. He already itched to scar himself again, even more than before. Why was he not happy that he would finally be able to be rid of this curse, to be free of this punishment?

He shook his head remembering the wedding vows. They were like two heavyweights on his shoulder, like a pressure on his chest making him unable to breathe. Nothing had been more difficult than saying 'I do' and after that, he felt sick. That feeling still remained and those words still echoed in his mind reminding him of the kind of person he was. 

The worst kind even in Angelica's eyes. She just didn't know that he was Demos and he was still preying on the week. He was taking advantage of her situation knowing that she didn't have much choice. 

Be her protector and defender? He laughed cynically. What was the point of protecting her from others when he was the one to cause the most damage?

Saying 'I do' was the worst thing he had done in a long time. He should have stopped at the carriage when things didn't go as he hoped. A part of him had hoped for Angelica to change her mind, to relieve him of his guilt but she didn't. And he was too stubborn to stop. Damn him. He deserved this curse more than ever now. 

Allowing his claws to come out, he cut across his cheek. He exhaled satisfied and watched the blood seep down. Why was he doing this when he fought so hard to get his face back? He should run to Lucrezia instead of doing this. 

Just one more, he told himself and caused another wound on his face but it became two and then three before he could fully stop. 

He needed a drink or he might end up scarring more than his face. Leaving Angelica behind he went to find some liquor before getting back to the room. He sat in a chair near the window and began drinking his guilt and frustration away while Angelica slept in his bed. 

He looked outside and wondered how many shades lurked in the shadows. Shades could not enter demons' homes unless invited so they would wait for an opportunity when Angelica went outside. 

Rayven had been putting off thinking about this problem. Procrastination should be Skender's thing but unlike the other Lords, he wasn't only punished for one sin. Pride was the root of all the other sins so he was punished for all sins. There was no sin he didn't commit. He was the worst of them. 

After drinking until midnight, his body couldn't take it anymore. Everything became a blur. 

***********

Angelica woke to the sound of raindrops slamming against the window. She rubbed her eyes and looked outside. The sky was covered with dark clouds and the rain fell heavily. It was the kind of day where she liked to remain in bed a little more and spend most of her day reading. 

Now that she thought of reading she remembered Lord Rayven's voice as he read for her last night. She sighed. She wanted him to read for her again. 

Strangely he was obedient last night. She thought he would go back to his cold self as soon as they returned home but he listened to her. She only had to show him that she was sad. 

'The slave makes the master' she remembered Lucrezia's words. The woman was telling her she had the power. Could it be that she did? She would have to test this theory. 

Yawning she turned in bed just to find Lord Rayven sleeping next to her. Startled a gasp left her lips. Oh, Lord! She didn't expect this. 

Once she calmed down she looked over at him. He lay on his back wearing no shirt and having no blanket on. Angelica's cheeks flushed and she tried not to look but still, her eyes followed the muscles on his arms and the veins that reached down to his hand which rested on his abdomen. Swallowing she stared at his toned stomach and chest. 

Oh no, Angelica. Don't look again. But she did. She admired his body one more time before feeling like she was invading his privacy. Was she? 

Feeling flustered she looked at his face. 

What had he done again? There were fresh scars on his face. 

Pushing herself up on an elbow she loomed over him. The scars were fresh but not so fresh that they looked like they were inflicted last night. It was a strange thing. 

Curious she slowly reached for his face and traced a scar with her finger. The scars looked deep and she always wondered if they reached into his mouth. 

She stared at his lips and then remembered the kiss. Her cheeks burned and she felt funny things in her chest and stomach. She had to decide whether it was a good thing or a bad thing. 

Well, it couldn't be bad. It would be better if she liked it in case he did it again. 

Again? 

Her heart skipped a beat. Would she really like it then? If he told her to undress again while he watched then she knew she would like nothing about him. 

Suddenly he opened his eyes while she was still touching his face. Angelica froze while staring into his obsidian eyes instead of pulling her hand away. 

He stared into her eyes for a long moment before his gaze slowly traveled down to her lips. Angelica held her breath feeling her heartbeat accelerate. Her gaze fell on his lips too as they parted and then pressed into a thin line before he pushed her away. 

Angelica fell back with a gasp and he got out of bed with a groan. "I told you not to touch me."