Heartburn

"...Why?" Looking at her blankly, I could hardly believe my eyes, and even unconsciously clasped the place where I just fell with my hand-the sharp pain taught me that I could no longer deceive myself.

The person in front of me wearing the crown of Emperor Dawu is not my emperor sister, but the lover I have been thinking about and worrying about.

If I could be firmly convinced of the relationship between the two of us before, then at this moment, reality cruelly gave me a slap, taught me to be speechless, and made all the confidence I had built up in an instant. Collapsed.

Why are you here?

Why are you wearing the emperor's phoenix robe?

why……

And what I want to know most is-why lie to me?

She looked at me without saying a word, suddenly picked me up, put me gently on the bed, lifted my sleeve and looked at it, frowned and said, "I have a bruise, I need medicine." Then he had to stand up.

This way of changing the subject was really blunt. I was so angry that I grabbed the hem of her clothes and held on tightly without letting go: "Stop! Speak clearly before leaving!"

"Don't worry, I won't go," she wrapped my hand, shook her head, and said softly, "You let go first, and I will ask someone to bring medicine over, behave." The tone was pampered, as if I was an unreasonable troublemaker child.

Under her soft-spoken persuasion, I habitually obeyed and slowly let go of my hand... The next moment I felt like: Why did I teach her to take the initiative again, it seemed that I was deliberately making trouble What is wrong with her?

"Don't worry about it, you go! Go!" Throwing away her hand, turning around angrily, lifted the quilt, and just wrapped herself in it regardless of how naive this move was.

I'm not in the mood to listen to any explanations, I just want to be alone.

"Jane Xin..." She tentatively pulled my quilt, let go of her hand angrily when she didn't move, sighed, and finally left.

The door closed sounded, and I lay down quietly for a while, until I was sure that I was the only one left in the room, and then I kicked off the quilt and lay on my back, gasping for breath.

With more and more gentle breathing, teardrops overflowed into the eye sockets uncontrollably, one, two... and finally connected in a string, silently dripping across the cheeks, and leaning into the pillow towel.

I don’t want to cry out in front of her, reveal my fragility, or teach her how much her deception has caused me. I don’t even want to face her when I am anxious, for fear of losing my mind. Can't help but say something that hurts people and says something that can't be undone.

Maybe I just don't want to admit it: Even if I know she has deceived me and used me, I still can't help it; just imagine the picture of being separated from her, and I can't breathe in heartache.

Is this love?

I never knew it would be such a pain to love someone.

Even when she was unrequited in love with her, she was not sure where this relationship should go. Looking forward to a ray of light in the dark pursuit, the kind of sweetness that occasionally revealed in the sadness seemed to be able to obtain endless courage from it.

But after she gave me a real response, this unknown mood quietly passed away and turned into a struggle for gains and losses. Even the kiss I longed for for a long time seemed to be caught in the uneasiness of a mirage.

In fact, deep in my heart, I also had a hunch and doubt: Does she like me?

What does she like about me?

Is she really willing to be with me?

Too much uncertainty, not to mention, I don't want to mention anything or even think about it deeply-does she love me?

I used to naively thought that as long as I love her, even if she doesn't respond now, one day she will be moved by my sincerity-sincere is the best thing to do.

But I have forgotten that people are always greedy, and when I get a little bit, I can’t help asking for more; or I deliberately overlooked a possibility: if she is not willing to give me this one that comes into her heart at all Opportunity, what should I do?

You can never wake up a person who pretends to sleep, and you can never impress a person who is acting.

Her purposeful approach to me is deceit; her purposeful use of me is betrayal.

Thinking about it now, the memories of her getting along with me resurfaced in my mind. Are all those looking back and turning, those cheering and laughing, all fake?

Secretly weeping, sleepless all night.

"His Royal Highness, do you want to have breakfast?" I couldn't close my eyes, couldn't sleep, and the next day, the palace attendant knocked on the door early in the morning.

Without waiting for my response for a long while, the palace attendant retreated consciously.

I was lying on the bed, unkempt, without dripping water, but I didn't even want to turn around, thinking about the scene when I was with Jiang Zhuo, trying to find evidence that she was sincere to me.

However, what emerged was a scene of suspicious points that I had overlooked.

The assassin who assassinated Kuang Xiqing was killed by her first.

Fu Yun went missing inexplicably in Chong's Mansion.

B-6 who treats her respectfully.

...

Those suspicious spearheads were all directed at Jiang Zhuo, directed at unruly plots and ambitious. After being linked together, it seemed to prove that her every move was conspiring to seize position, including the imaginary and conspiracy with me, but she was gradually A **** to realize the plan.

I have never been her goal, it's just a stepping stone that she gave up after reaching the goal.

She didn't love me in the past, she doesn't love me now, and she will never fall in love with me in the future... This is my deepest pain and the most embarrassing fact.

"His Royal Highness, it's too late, can you get up for dinner?" The palace attendant knocked on the door carefully and asked in a low voice.

——It turned out that it was already afternoon, no wonder after the stomach screamed earlier, there was no movement, probably too hungry.

I woke up in the morning and spent the whole morning in the bed room in a daze. It was not as decadent as me anymore.

"Your Highness, Your Highness?" The attendant waited patiently for a while, but when he saw that I was silent, he knocked on the door again.

I didn't know where the anger came from, so I picked up a pillow beside me and threw it at the door.

"Bang——" After a muffled sound, the maid begged for forgiveness: "Your Majesty forgive your sins! Your Highness forgive your sins..." He withdrew in a panic.

I don't want to talk, I don't want to get up, I don't want to do anything.

I don't even want to think anymore.

But I can’t sleep, and I don’t want to sleep—because when I close my eyes, I think of her gazing softly into my eyes, and then in an instant it turned into a cold gaze like ice and snow, faintly swept across me , Indifferent even to look at it more.

Every time I think about it, my heart hurts again.

In the evening, I still didn't want to move.

The maid serving the meal knocked on the door reluctantly, and seemed determined not to wake me up. Unbearable, I cleared my dry and dumb throat, and tried to yell out a syllable: "Go away."

Outside the door seemed to be taken aback, and finally died down.

Although I knew I shouldn't be angry with others, but I couldn't control the irritability in my heart-I didn't know who I was tossing my body like this.

Could it be vaguely hope that that person will feel distressed?

... Will she?

Smiled self-deprecatingly, I'm afraid it won't.

I stared at the ornamentation on the top of the bed for a long time, the sky gradually darkened, my vision became a bit blurred, and the empty hunger in my belly changed from the initial empty hunger to the pain of twitching—I pressed He couldn't help but curled up with his stomach.

"Squeak--" I turned my head angrily to see which brave palace attendant dared to come in without permission, but I was facing a pair of silent eyes.

A pair of eyes that taught me that I was so sad that I wanted to cry just by looking at each other.

"Why refuse to eat?" She stared into my eyes and asked bluntly.

The questioning tone taught me that the grievances in my heart were rushing out, as if to burst my chest apart.

He picked up the quilt and covered his head, buried him like an ostrich, unwilling to see anyone.

Thinking that my non-violent and uncooperative attitude of refusal would make her retreat, just like last night, she took the initiative to leave. Who would have listened with bated breath, did not hear her retreating footsteps and the sound of closing the door, and asked vaguely that she ordered her attendants to lift. Something went in.

He deliberately poked his head out to take a look, but didn't want to lose face, "heh hehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"

After finally hearing the sound of closing the door, I was about to lift the quilt, but when Jiang Zhuo's voice sounded from a very close place, he seemed to stand on the side of the bed: "Don't cover it, come out."

——You tell me to come out, am I going to come out?

It's not as you intended.

Stubbornly tightening the quilt again, I secretly struggled, not caring that the person who was uncomfortable was myself.

There was no movement outside the quilt for a while.

She compromised?

Don't you want to persuade me for a while... Just as I was muttering to myself, my waist was suddenly attacked, and suddenly, I started to subconsciously exclaimed.

And this one was just the beginning. Before I recovered from the sudden attack, the series of touches hit my chest, ribs, waist and abdomen through the quilt, teaching me to kick it and block my sight. The quilt that imprisoned the action, rolled left and right to avoid.

——Kuang Xihan's physique is sensitive and he is very ticklish. Just like this, poking lightly on the body is no less than the top ten tortures.

While hiding from Jiang Zhuo's poke point, I laughed out of control, humiliated and angry in my heart, smiling and laughing but couldn't help crying, this crying and laughing, rolling and screaming, it was extremely embarrassing.

After a while, when I almost collapsed on the bed, even when the eyes staring at her were soft and without a trace of lethality, the polite initiator Shi Shiran stopped and brushed off my forehead thoughtfully. With broken hair, asked softly: "Are you tired? May I take you to wash?"