Hidan no Aria Reloaded – Cast Off Table
Chapter 7
Bullet 7: Life is a Game
MAY 15, 2022 ~ FROZZENDETH
“Life is a game!”
I turned around at the sounds of Riko’s voice…
Riko and Hiraga-san, both dressed in only their underwear, held a
board game box together and showed it to everyone.
That everyone though… Aria, Shirayuki, Reki, and Jeanne… were
also only wearing their underwear, though.
If Masters were to find out about a place like this, they will be in full
on corporal punishment mode…
This may be a view that most men would be willing to pay to see,
but for me, it is a spine chilling and terrifying sight. It is like being
next to six blocks of C4 lined up in a row.
I have only got 3 minutes left of Hysteria Wiseman mode, but
when it ends… I immediately go into Hysteria Mode -> Kinji Warrior
against everyone here -> concentrated attack against me -> I die.
This means that this company is not ‘Good’ company, like for
others.
Fuuma, who is looking at Riko and the others beside me, is also
wearing a loincloth on the lower half of her body. She is only wearing
a blouse on her upper body.
An undressing game tournament, Cast-Off table, this final game is
a one-on-one battle between Fuuma and me.
Fuuma though was originally a passerby I snuck into this
tournament, the so-called henchman.
So, with Fuuma being an ally, I was going to make her take off her
blouse as quickly as possible to win this game, but my formula for
victory was overturned just now.
(In terms of clothing Fuuma only looked safe to me…!)
Fuuma had just told me something that has thrown my brain into a
frenzy.
She is not wearing that piece of fabric that women must wear over
their chests after they start developing their typical sexual
characteristics, the you know… a bra! It seems that Fuuma does not
wear bras!
In other words, below Fuuma’s blouse is just skin, bare skin.
(I cannot have you take off your blouse if you are naked under it…!)
Even the Wiseman in me would have a nosebleed and fall over if I
were to be struck by such a devastating attack. And even if I, a mere
foolish human, applied the saying that “sexual stimulation caused by
a younger person is half as powerful”, I would still easily enter
hysteria mode if I saw Fuuma’s bare chest.
(But… But..!)
There are less than 3 minutes left of Wiseman. Whatever the next
game is, there is no way to get out of this room alive without
undressing Fuuma.
My Wiseman is getting weaker, and now I have begun thinking
with typos in my head. My foolish Hysteria mode must have
manipulated the blood flow to my brain.
(-I am nearing my limit!)
Riko and all of the other girls came back to me, who was currently
secretly panicking…
“Toyama-kun! This is the next game! It is ‘The Game of Life’! Ayaya
used to play this game with her big brother and her brothers at the
factory when I was a little girl!”
And the board game that little Hiraga-san showed me…
(‘The Game of Life’…!)
The Game of Life is a long running game series.
A turn based board game that includes a deposit/withdrawal
element depending on the life events that are written on stopped
frames. Winning or losing is determined by the amount of money you
have at the end. It is a simple game with little strategy that even a
toddler could play.
“This is the last round and it would be a neat way to close out the
game by trying our luck at something that has nothing to do with
technology! Kufufu~.”
And when Riko winked at me, I…
(…finished…)
I realized that I was completely trapped.
This game, if everyone participates, is not something that can be
finished in 3 minutes…
In other words, for all intents and purposes, Wiseman will end
during this game.
A simultaneous uprising by fools, a hysteria revolution, will take
place in my body soon.
(…but!)
Article 10 of the Butei Charter! Butei Never Give Up! I cannot
forget this!
I look down upon the Game of Life board being spread out on the
fluffy carpet, desperate to find a way through this.
There must be something. There must be some way. First, I must
observe this game.
As I grit my teeth and look at the board, the fool with me
manipulated my eye movements on his own and glances around.
I looked at Hiraga’s tiny bottom as she squatted down to take out a
wad of toys. I saw her little bottom facing towards me and the girl’s
underwear with a bear print on the back that wrapped her shapely
bottom.
My eyes met with the eyes of the printed bear with the word
“KUMA” written on it.
(Me, what are you making me look at…!? No, no, no!)
Glance~
As I turned away from Hiraga-san, my eye muscles twitched and
were manipulated by my foolish self again, and this time…
Jeanne’s silvery white underwear catches my eye as she reads
the game’s instructions.
The thin cloth, which starts below her well-shaped navel, has a
delicate lace design that makes her milkywhite skin seem almost
transparent, and the lace is so fine it can only be described as
fragile.
That cloth is so… thing…! It is nearly see through! Is that even
underwear!
Do high school girls who live overseas wear such things? I am
glad I’m Japanese.
(No, no, no! I need to search for a way out, it is the only way to
survive! We have to find it Kinji!)
The moment I averted my faze under my goggles, again, the fool
interfered!
Reki sitting in her plain white underwear, taking a car-shaped
playing piece out of a box…
Due to how she is sitting, from here I can see her soft thighs,
which is a nice view.
…Not! It is not a nice view!
First of all, the slender thighs leading from both of her erect and
aligned knees have perfect lines, as if she were a living doll, without
a single bruise or blemish…
From this angle, the base of the thighs on either side are also in
full view.
Like this, I am reminded that Reki is 100% a girl and I can see all
of her right now.
The area of her white cotton underwear is curvilinear in shape,
squeezed from both sides by her hip joints, due to the nature of her
sitting in a gymnastic pose.
The vividness of the plump female body parts may attract my mind
with… unusual power due to the contrast in my mind between robot
Reki and the Reki sitting before me in her underwear.
The safety myth that had fooled the public at Butei High for many
years, the “Reki is not feminine” myth collapsed masterfully, and
once again the Wiseman in me lost another battle.
(That’s why~! Don’t go to the lower half of my body, don’t pinpoint
there!)
The only way to survive is to explore and find a way out! And as I
look away from Reki… Riko is next.
“Kya Ha~! I feel like a millionaire!”
Riko, who is known by some of the boys as “Loli with big breasts”-
with her charming and innocent face is being smacked around by
Aria with a wad of cash, who is scattering wads of money for the
game in the air.
That sounded painful.
Her breasts, which are the size of a small melon and have deep
cleavage that does not match her face, swayed with an impressive
swell.
The golden underwear covering her breasts is adorned with lace
that is very much in the girlish tastes.
Her breasts are like a giant pudding, deliciously decorated with
custard cream.
Oversized Pudding-A-La Mode.
(-You aren’t! I have to keep Hysteria-La Mode in check…!)
Run away!
It’s…! Why does the fool keep controlling my eyes! Now, it is
Shirayuki this time!
Shirayuki, who is currently picking up the bills scattered by Riko
and Aria, is in a crawl pose…
Her twin breasts, clearly E-cup in size, are currently falling towards
the earth based on Newton’s law of universal gravitation… damn it!
They dropped and swayed. Was Newton’s apple really that stupidly
big? That would have been a small watermelon instead!
The silky black underwear that gently wraps those watermelon
cups is a shiny frabric that should you touch it you would want to
touch it forever.
Shirayuki, who was wearing silk underwear that cost no less than
10,000 yen for the top and bottom, turned to me on all fours holding
a 10,000 yen bill…
Both breasts, held down to her by her bra shaped like the letter ω,
swung like a pendulum.
Now it was Foucault’s pendulum or Holstein’s law.
(W, Wa, Wai, Wait Kinji…!)
Her breasts were entirely covered by a full cup bra, which was a
blessing in surprise. Despite that though, this situation is no less
unfortunate for me.
A-, a woman with dangerous weapons like that…! And I now
usually live with…!
“Let’s see, the $100,000 bill is at…”
Shirayuki turned on the spot, shaking her massive breasts, and
this time, her well shaped hips were shaking too…
(S-, So big…! And here’s…!)
The female body is naturally structurally more firm in the buttocks
body than the male body. The female body structurally larger in the
pelvic area as unlike the male body the female body is designed to
be able to give birth.
However, Shirayuki’s black silk panties, which are also made of
thin silk and stick to her moist behind, are too tight and squeeze her
buttocks, making them look soft and fluffy. Her snow-white thighs
have a sense of being soft enough to squish by merely touching
them. This is unmistakably a dreadnought level lower body.
I think her entire body is made up of marshmallows, Shirayuki that
is.
I finally understand how Hotogi priestesses have had so many
children for generations. If they all look like these they can have as
many healthy children as they want, and raise them. With breasts
that big they can make as much milk as a dairy cow.
(How… how soft it looks…!)
As if to show the softness of Shirayuki’s body, the side part of her
underwear, which is as thin as a string, the underwear itself is not
very tight but the string is slightly digging into the skin of her waist.
No, I realized it now…
Everywhere on you your underwear is biting slightly into your
milky-white colored soft skin…!
The straps on the shoulders and back, and the black cloth itself
is… hanging… oh, hey, hey…!
Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey! Heyyyyyyy! Stop crawling!
Oh, there is that shape…! Because of the gravity, while I cannot
see it I can imagine it…!
(…geh, I am nearing my limit…!)
My eyes, being told what to do by a fool, the next thing I see is…
“Come one Kinji! Don’t just stand there like a scarecrow! Help us!”
She put her hands on her hips right in front of me, and bared her
canine teeth with a “Gah!”. Miss Kanzaki H. Aria.
She was currently wearing nothing but her underwear.
Height: 142cm. Weight (according to Riko’s data): 34kg.
Three sizes, the bust appears to be 70… but is actually 65 due to
the use of a pull-up bra, and the waist and hips are 50 and 67 in the
form of a squid belly, which is common among girls. (TL Note: This
confused the hell out of me. A squid belly is basically like an
hourglass shape small bulge on a young girls tummy, has to do with
organ placement, kind of looks like a squid’s main body and is
considered a cute body type typical with younger/shorter girls. Idk,
blame the Japanese, I’m just a translator. If you want a pic just
Google イカ腹 and look in Google images or pixiv, note it is nsfw.)
Aria boasts a brave figure that would be acceptable to be a sixth
grader, or a first grader in Junior high, or if someone were to guess
higher it will not be any higher than around the third grade. (TL Note:
Idk how education works in Japan, so I am assuming that sixth
grader is like end of primary and 1st and 3rd are referring to middle
school.)
Aria approaches me with her well-shaped pink eyebrows.
(Chi, don’t get too close, don’t get up close!)
I cannot control the movements of my eyes with my will anymore!
I nodded my head and replied with “Oh, sorry”.
While nodding my head I looked over Aria’s entire body, from top
to bottom.
Mainly the parts that would please the fool’s bloodstream army.
It is easy to imagine her as a child, or perhaps her face has just
not changed much since then. Her face however is so cute that it
was even featured on the cover of a magazine in Italy.
Cute. No matter how many times I see it, whenever I see it, it is
cute.
Contrary to her Guinness World Record level ferocity, she is cute.
This girl. Just her face and her appearance.
And – it’s not just her face that’s cute, but her breasts as well.
Both breasts, which are modest as if in inverse proportion to their
host’s behavior, are the smallest of the seven girls here. Even more
so than Hiraga-san.
Her so-called small breasts…
She is concerned about this, and wears a bra that pulls her A-cup
up with a built-in wire… But even so, it is the way of the world that
what is not there will neither come close nor rise. The underwear
has a gap between the skin and the fabric, but only the fabric is in
the shape of a B-cup, which is a sad state of affairs.
…ga!
That’s even worse.
The difference between our height, between me and Aria, is more
than 25 centimetres.
Between the reality of the A cup and the ideal of the B cup, I can
see between the two…!
But here God sided with the Wiseman instead of the fool. (TL
Note: Sobbing, crying even.)
Between the cloth and the skin was a shadow cast by my head.
Moreover, my ordinary eyesight could not instantly confirm the
details. Thank you God!
Now, after that, my gaze moved from her breasts to her abdomen
and then to her waist – and what I saw was a small waist hidden by
her panties.
The smallness of her waist, in fact, stirs up a feeling of no return.
The curve of her waist, which is less than that of Shirayuki, who is
almost a complete woman, but Aria is clearly girlish. It makes me
feel her primness as a woman, which delighted the fool in me.
And then, the main dish – poisonous for the Wiseman and the
main dish for the fool – the bottom, Aria’s underwear.
Like her bra, the kid-like panties with a white background with a
little printed playing card pattern on it…
Aria, of course, put her finger in the strap! With a snap, she
adjusted the slightly disordered panties.
In other words, the natural fact that the panties and bra are
removable is reaffirmed in my brain.
The character for ‘taking off’ and ‘putting on’ is made up of two
parts: ‘脱ぐ’ and ‘着る’.
Now she is wearing it. Or rather, right now she is. (TL Note: this
was difficult to translate, it and the next one might be wrongly
translated, I think it included a pun.)
But if I take it off, she is not wearing it…
–tsu–
When you stand so defencelessly on your knees, it’s easy to
imagine you’re not wearing it…!
“Come on! You should help me put together the stock certificates
and life insurance policies!”
And, holding up her index finger and raising her red-camellia eyes
to look at me, Aria… is this what her body looks like under her
clothes…? Due to the power of the fool though, she is starting to look
naked?!
Why am I picturing Aria naked here?! I am a misogynist!
(I mean… hey?!)
Three minutes have already passed while I’ve been glancing at
the girls! Look at your watch!
Sa-, sage! My Wiseman! Please respond!
… no response. I have just been reported that he died in war. He
had died an honorable death.
Instead, I responded to myself…
(“Thou… shalt lust for power…?”)
Wh-, what the hell?
What’s that voice? Where is it coming from?
(“… thou… shalt lust for power…?)
A voice like a frightening beast – like the voice of Lord Vlad (after
transformation), whom I once fought in Yokohama – was heard in my
brain as if he were making a friendly appearance here.
I Kind of understand… but this is…
The commander of the army of fools, who controls my hysteria
mode. It’s the voice of the foolish playboy…!
(“I don’t want it, I don’t want it, for today only I don’t need it!”)
In my brain I rejected the outstreched hand of the playboy that
appeared, which appeared in the shape of Vlad.
(“…thou… shalt lust for power…?”)
(“Is that all you know how to say?!”)
(“I know everything about you.”)
(“Then listen to me! I told you I don’t want it!”)
(“Then, why not semi-hysteria mode.”) (TL Note: This would not
translate well, had to improvise based on previous and next
sentence.)
(“What? Semi?”)
(“Ihuayulu ‘amahisu’ da.”) (TL Note: Not sure why this is happening
but suddenly nothing translates here. Might be old Japanese?)
Amahisu…? You mean that as in halfway between Hysteria and
normal? Like halfway between firmness and softness?
(“I am not leaving without doing my job.”)
(“You are a workaholic, you…”)
I’m sweating profusely in my brain and in real life as I talk to my
inner vlad.
(“If you say ‘I accept’, you will be forced to leave your normal hysteria
mode and I will leave.”)
(“Okay, Okay, then I accept! Go home!”)
(“I have heard your wish.”)
(“Go home right now!”)
-Oh God-
I finally… that blood flow in my body, pulsing.
I can see it clearly. This blood is flowing into my core, the middle
and true center of my body.
But as… Brain Vlad said, sweetly…
This hysteria mode is reduced to about half of the normal level of
hysteria mode.
Thanks to my desperate resistance after the death of the
Wiseman, plus the negotiation with Vlad’s residual thoughts, which I
defeated rather easily despite him being the number two of IU…
This is nothing more than the sweet spot for Hysteria mode, aka
Half Hysteria, indeed.
“-!”
At that moment, something flashed inside me.
My brother said “when people are cornered, they come up with
new tricks” … that was apparently true.
“-move Aria!”
I don’t retreat from the circle of girls – rather, I make a suicide
attack on the circle.
Then, pushing Jeanne and Hiraga-san out of the way, I was on all
fours alongside Shirayuki, and looked at the game board… with
countless player characters on it through my goggles.
Good Luck… Good Luck me…! NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE!
IMPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING! (TL Note: all caps are in English in the
original.)
(Especially for me, who is in hysteria mode, albeit half of it…!)
I and half-standing for a moment. Then I turn my face to the
ceiling, mumbling and reciting what was written on the panel:… da,
no. This is not good enough.
Half standing, I fold my arms again, and stare at the board.
“Ki-, Kin-chan…!?”
Crawling on her knees and her back stretched out before me,
Shirayuki, who was posing as if she were crawling, was blushing
profusely for some reason, but…
“Out of the way Shirayuki! You will get in trouble if you don’t move!”
Gah! I yelled through my teeth like Aria. All the girls backed away
from me at the sight of my ferocity. Okay, now I can see the whole
picture better!
“Um… Ki-Kun…? I am going to start explaining the game, okay…?”
“Shut up! You’re on your own! I’m on the verge of life and death
here!”
I was already prepared for the girls to be suspicious of me, but I
just…
I must use this small amount of time I have before everyone is
forced to sit around the board and get on with the game.
Damn. Why do the lines on the letters on the squares face
vertically and vertically? Is it because multiple people are supposed
to sit around the board? Right now I hate that design…!
Moreover, this “Game of Life”… most of the squares have text that
is clearly not original. The squares have stickers pasted on them with
Riko’s idiotic writing.
While Riko explains to all the girls that we will be playing my
normal rules…
I stare at the board as I circle it, or I look up and try to recite it back
to myself, trying to consolidate it in my memory. I try to remember
the information but the strain on my brain is too much, and I begin
breathing hard.
(Damn… If I was in full Hysteria Mode, I could remember everything
in an instant…!)
Yes. What I am trying to do…
The strategy here is to play this “Game of Life” with your eyes
closed, like playing blindfold chess.
I have to memorize the contents of all the squares for the game,
utilizing the fact that my goggles cover my eyes, and then play with
my eyes closed, relying only on my memory and hoping now it is
better than usual right now due to hysteria mode…!
If I play like that I won’t have to see any more of those girls in their
horrible underwear.
If I don’t look I wont enter full hysteria mode.
In other words, this is my last stand against an inner army of fools.
Namely, a submarine operation.
I will dive into the darkness like a submarine and cut off enemy
supply ships of any visual information!
“…Yes, then it’s time to get it started!”
“…tsu…!”
All right. It’s okay. You may begin now.
I have… almost memorized… all of it!
I have already pushed my brain to its limit for memory size, and I
have become a submarine in both body and soul…
“Main tank draws…! Dive!”
I shouted and closed my eyes for the last time at the sight of the
girls backing away from me even more than before.
I sent a final code to Fuuma by scratching my head, shaking my
head, sniffling my nose, and belching.
“Ki… Kinji, let’s get you to a hospital. You are delirious.”
“Even if Kin-chan is sick… I will be with you all the time and take care
of you.”
“Ki-kun, the rule book says ‘no sick days’… so, sorry.”
“…”
“Toyama, you are weak under pressure. If you go mad at stress of
this level, you will never be able to stand on the battlefield.”
“Ayayaya… this is the domain of Ambulance, not Amdo…”
“Master, you must be careful. I will give you some pills to keep your
mind off of the game.”
While the seven girls (one of whom apparently had no voice) was
worried about me to their cores, I…
“… give me my character piece.”
A challenge. For this final game, a game as long as life, I shall be
a submarine.
From the content of the girls’ earlier conversation, it was
immediately clear that apparently this “Game of Life” would also be
contested in a team competition, which included the losers.
My team is me, Aria, Shirayuki, and Riko. The colors of the
character piece are blue, pink, white, and yellow, respectively.
The Fuuma team is Fuuma, Reki, Jeanne, and Hiraga. Black,
Yellow-green, light blue, and brown, also respectively.
These car-shaped character pieces are advanced by roulette, but
only Reki, who can produce whatever number she desires, is turned
by Fuuma on behalf of her.
Then the game begins, with everyone receiving a $3000 handout
of in game money.
I tried to insert the light blue pin that Shirayuki gave me to
represent a male (probably) into the first of several holes in the car-
shaped panel, but…
“Oh, Kin-chan… put it in properly? It’s higher, it’s not… that hole.”
Geh.
I’ve already screwed up.
Is this what it’s like to be semi-hysterized? I mean, I learned the
board, but I did not memorize the character pieces.
“I-, I’m sorry. It has been a little while, so I just made a mistake.”
I will get through this by cheating and lying my way through.
And since I am first, I will spin the roulette wheel from memory.
Okay, there it is.
“Kufufuu~. Ki-kun, your fingers are shaking. Are you nervous? How
cute~!”
While being called cute by the adorable Riko, I turn the roulette
wheel with a twisting motion.
Kakakakakakakakaka rikarkarkari, kari, kari… kari.
The prongs of the roulette repeatedly hit the stick, a lilting sound,
and… semi-hysteria confirmed the sound 14 times.
The initial position was ’10’, so 4 squares. (TL Note: This does not
mean Kinji moved 14 times as he heard the sound 14 times, the
needle for the roulette started at 10, went 14 tiles, and then stopped
on 4.)
The squares are designed with folds and intricate wave designs, 1,
2, 3, 4… okay. Here is the character piece. And 4 squares ahead is…
(“I was able to land on a money square. So, i’m getting $2000.”)
While reciting this… I confirm that I got it right and ensure I don’t
stumble while speaking. (TL Note: This part translates weird, I think
Kinji is reciting in his head which words to say that best fit the
situation but it doesn’t work too well in English. Basically, he is trying
to sound natural, not surprised, etc.)
When I stuck out my hand to received the money…
“Toyama-kun, why are you reaching out to Ayaya? You can take the
money yourself.”
Hiraga-san made a disgruntled “Buuu” sound. (TL Note: think of
the sound effect when girls in anime stick out their tongue and pull
down their lower eyelid.)
You are the one who started this whole thing by making these
goggles that broke way too easily…!
I am blind right now, I cannot get the money myself.
But since that is not truly the case…
“The square says ‘get’ not ‘take’. Furthermore, the enemy team
should hand the other side money so that tricky players do not get
extra money.”
I argued about this for a bit, and eventually my notion passed, and
Reki, the man (?), gave me the money without saying a word.
(My first card, huh…)
My first card was to deliver a handgun to my dad at the DA’s
office, an actual memory of mine.
My parents made me do it on the theory that they wouldn’t think
the kid was a courier, but now that I think about it, it was a terrible
task. Also, in reality, I didn’t get $2000, it was $50 for a reward.
Next is Aria, kurikurikurikuri….
” ‘You have no friends at school, spend recess pretending to sleep,
pay $1000′ … What is this?”
That would be Riko’s original stickers.
I mean, it would be true wouldn’t it? Aria’s ferocity seems innate.
And your voice just now was dark, as if it had dug up trauma.
kurikurikurikuri…
” ‘For taking care of your sisters, helping with housework, and
studying properly, you are a very good child. You get $2000′, this is
for Kin-chan. I made up for Aria’s losses!”
Shirayuki said, with the last bit said while looking at Aria,
kurikurikuri…
” ‘While your parents are travelling around the world for work, I act
arrogantly to my servants in the mansion. After that, I will soon gain
a good personality. I must pay $1000.’ …. ah…”
Riko’s voice is also very dark.
This is… something of a heavenly intervention for each of them to
stop at something that reminds them of their childhood.
I am pretty sure that is what it said in each of the panels, as I
recall.
” ‘My household is poor. I wanted a dress-up doll for my birthday, but
I got a clay figurine made from mud in the garden.’… that… that is…”
” ‘The first toy I ever received was a real sniper rifle.’ “
” ‘I have been aware of my beauty since I could first remember it. I
also don’t like children.’ I… I…”
” ‘In my families all-mal factory, everyone loves me like a butterfly
loves flowers’ … it’s okay…!”
Somehow, each of the enemies also managed to land on a
realistic square, this time at least.
And everyone is either traumatized or happy as they remember
these little parts of their life. This is just a casual game. It has to be.
With this process, the character pieces of the cars move forward
throughout our student years.
The squares where everyone is and their money is memorized
and rememorized every step of the way by my semi-hysterized brain.
” ‘The girls in the class are looking at me and whispering. Go back 1
square.’ I… I’m sure they…”
“What do you mean you are sure, Kinji? Whatever, I’m next. ‘The
girls in the class are looking at me and whispering. Go back one
square’ …”
Me and Aria stopped at the same square, and in this case, my car
was rear-ended.
Aria, who doesn’t have a car insurance card, pays me $5000, but
we are on the same team so it doesn’t affect our overall money.
But… both me and Aria actually got whispered about by girls a lot
at our school.
For me, it was mainly female-related scandals. Aria is popular with
some of the boys, so I was cynical before.
The air between me and Aria is heavy.
I am getting tired of this game.
” ‘I was elected student body president and I am highly trusted by
those around me, I am everyone’s model student admired by
everyone.’ The end of the sentence is kind of weird, but it’s a nice
card. Aha.”
” ‘I am popular in my class, energetic and mischievous, popular with
both the boys and girls as well as a school idol.’ Kyaha~n! Riko fits
the bill perfectly!”
Shirayuki and Riko seem to be living their real lives in the game as
well.
But you girls… I guess they did not read the square completely
intentionally, as both have the sentence similar to “… the front face of
you” attached to the end of the message. I know this because I
memorized it. (TL Note: in Japanese it makes more sense. Basically,
that sentence implies that the characteristics before are just 1 side of
Riko and Shirayuki.)
” ‘The first time I went to school, I had a crush on a senior student,
but I was too clumsy and nervous to say anything and graduated.’
ah… that… that is the message…”
” ‘On the first day of class, one of the students was isolated from the
rest of the class.’ “
” ‘You’re beautiful, but why do all the girls confess to you?’… ku…
why is this… really…!”
” ‘My brother beat up a boy with a spanner at a folk dance when he
looked happy to have held my hand’… ah-, this actually happened!”
The messages are said to describe events that are close to each
person’s reality.
People are either happy or sad when they land on these tiles,
depending on if the message is accurate or not. The more we land
on, the harder this gets. I cannot wait for both this game and my
school days to be over.
kurikurikuri… kurikurikuri… The sound of the spinning roulette
continues.
Each of the cars entered their college years.
“I… ‘I want to go back to square one. But I guess I cannot go
backwards, time only moves forward so I move forward one square.'”
What happened to me?
“My… or, ‘my supposed boyfriend is not very nice to me, so I threaten
him with a gun and force him to do a lot of things for me. The
relationship steps up, but I have to pay $1,000 for the bullets’…”
“Well, I… ‘ I fired a machine gun in a lovers quarrel. The evidence
was skillfully hidden and destroyed, but I will have to pay $1,000 in
expenses’… that’s a weird claim, I would never do such a thing.”
Both Aria and Shirayuki landed on an accurate square that
represents them both.
I feel sorry for these girls’ future boyfriends.
No number of lives will be enough for their partners.
“Riko-rins turn! Yay! ‘I snatched the boy I had my eye on since
highschool from the side while two love rivals were fighting. It is a
perfect example of the benefits of fishing for a boyfriend! The
relationship between the two lovers makes you advance three
squares!’ Kufufufu~!”
So, while Aria and Shirayuki were fighting over a boy, Riko
managed to take him.
This is exactly like a love drama. There are usually no machine
guns in love dramas though.
“… ‘I secretly develop a relationship with the man with the pretense
that we were going to be friends as our apartments are next door.
Move 4 squares forward.’ …”
Reki is back in sniper mode and she is making some
foreshadowing moves in the unfolding drama of these college days.
“A certain person… ‘I work part-time, but I get fired a lot because of
my weird way of talking. But I got paid $500 for my work that I did.’
…. I… I am sorry….”
“I am next. ‘I was working part-time at a maid cafe, and was scouted
as a member of an idol group. I get $5, 000 for the contract.’ I see. I
didn’t know there was such a thing.”
” ‘I develop a beautiful girl robot. I am going to win an international
competition!’ I am going to win an international competition?!”
Huh… Something like that too could happen in real life.
Fuuma has already been fired from her call center job for her
weird way of speaking…
If Jeanne were to cool off in the future and were to work part time
at a maid-cafe… Well, she would be very popular.
Lastly, Hiraga-san was actually developing a humanoid robot. She
was going to make ‘Aya 2.0’, which will look exactly like her, down to
the smallest detail. I went to Amdo the other day and saw that so far
only the arms are complete, and I was so taken aback by their
realism that I thought it was a pair of severed arms on a desk.
As the cars moved forward with such thoughts in my mind, the car-
shaped figures entered the zone where each person – although there
were some variations- would encounter the crossroads that decides
his or her future life.
I’m first, and I stop before a square that is three dimensional, a…
small mountain.
“… ‘lost in the course of life, rest a turn’…”
Suddenly, I am stuck. At this critical time in my life.
I don’t like the idea that this could be real.
“I… ‘I am going to be a Butei. If I like it, I’ll take the Butei profession
card and advance three squares’ … Of course I like it!”
And Aria begins her career as a Butei with sass.
“I’m… ‘I’m going to be a teacher. If I like it, I will take the profession
card and advance five squares’… Teacher, huh? Yes. I will do my
best!”
“Riko, hai~! ‘I will become a phantom thief!’ Because! Naru naru u~!”
(TL Note: not sure what the ending means, might be her mimicking a
theme song?)
And then you would be hounded by Aria, the Butei.
I mean, I would not be happy that you became a phantom thief.
“It is my turn… ah. Sorry master for the collision. ‘I am lost on my
path, so I take a break’. I see and I am sorry…”
Fuuma pays me $5, 000 and is pinching herself in real life.
I don’t like this. Both me and my war sister are late to entering the
real world.
In my brain, I imagine a scene where this actually happens in the
future, and a 20 year old Fuuma who cannot afford to pay rent… she
comes crying to my room with tears in her eyes, carrying a furoshiki
wrapping cloth on her back.
And I, who am a little over 20 years old, has no choice but to let
her stay with me because of our relationship as master and student,
both of us in a state of not doing anything, drifting through life.
We are both poor, so we sipped cup noodles and had nothing to
do so we went and picked up an original NES from the local dump
and spend the day playing Mario, TwinBee, SECROSS, etc. In the
age of the PS5, we would play on our NES wearing a T-Shirt and
shorts and Fuuma wearing a jersey.
… this is too realistic.
“I am… ‘becoming a rancher’…”
Reki blurts that out and I internally blow up.
It would be a good job for Reki.
I can easily imagine a picture of Reki in a straw hat, silently
looking upon a mute sheep.
“I have stopped at a good square. ‘I become an actress’. An actress
is a woman of distinction, and is a suitable profession for me. If I like
it, I can take the profession card… I see. I have the freedom of
choice.”
Jeanne, who has a high-paying job, speaks through her nose.
Well… actually, Jeanne is the type of beauty that would be fine in a
movie or something.
Her acting skills are great, such as when she was pretending to be
Shirayuki in the underground warehouse.
But it is not a good idea for someone on the enemy team to earn
so much money.
“I know your family is one of those, you know, the ones that are
destined to live in the shadows of history and all that. I don’t see why
you would accept such a prominent job.”
And, side note…
“The world would not forgive itself for leaving such a good actor in
the shadows of history.”
Jeanne replied in a crisp voice, making a spectacular debut on the
silver screen.
“Ayayaya! Ayaya got ‘I am going to start a business and become
president of the company’-!”
Wow. This seems to be realistic too. Hiraga-san is commercial
minded.
But that company will just be a weapons manufacturer, right? Or
maybe it will be a company that develops beautiful robot girls?
Both of those companies will make money for Hiraga-san, but I
think the public impact will be quite negative.
Not to mention the weapons, but even if the robots were to say
something like “I will be your maid!”, should a guy like Muto buy one,
he might have her help him with something else.
Finally, it is my turn again, so, kurikurikuri…
“… geh… ‘Become a Butei’…”
I don’t like it. I don’t like it at all. It is the last thing I want to do. I
don’t want to do this.
But…
“If I don’t do this, I will never get a job… so, I can’t… help it…”
I had no choice but to take an occupation card from Shirayuki, who
says “Good luck with your job” and I reluctantly start my unusual life.
After that, Fuuma had overrun the employment tiles with all her
might and entered the life of a ‘freelancer’. She had been working
part-time jobs earlier. It’s a life full of hardships for you too, isn’t it?
In the meantime, the clock ticked on, and when I got out into the
real world, the only thing that stopped me was…
“Geh. I am getting married.”
“What is with the ‘geh’ Kinji? That is not good. You should celebrate.”
“It is not right if I don’t get married at the same time too, Kin-chan!”
“Don’t yell in my ear Shirayuki! Then why don’t you stop her next
time!”
I talked with Aria and Shirayuki, and received some congratulatory
money from everyone…
Shirayuki handed me a pink pin (which symbolized a woman) that
she had removed from her car for some reason, saying “Please
make me happy” and inserted it into my car.
(Marriage, huh? I hate it already when I come home and find a
woman there every day…)
I thought this was fiction, but sadly I am still in a similar situation.
After that, Shirayuki turned the roulette wheel with tremendous
force… and stopped at the marriage square herself. And, for some
reason, she took the light blue pin from my car and put it in her car.
I told her to return the pin back as it is mine, but Shirayuki hugged
it and said “No! No!”, so we had no choice but to continue the game
with the pin replenished by Reki.
Then, Shirayuki went to…
“Oh, I gave birth!” This was the first born. “I gave birth again, Kin-
chan!” This was the second born. “This time, it was twin girls!” which
was the third and fourth. Then the 5th. 6th. 7th. Shirayuki stopped at
the birth squares and has filled the entire car, all in this era of rapidly
falling birth rates.
And the next square I stopped at was…
” ‘Japanese law changes. Polygamy is now legal, so I married a
second wife’…”
… what a hellhole Japan has become.
“Kin… chan…?”
…uh…?
Even with my eyes closed, I can see the dark aura starting to
emanate from Shirayuki.
“Shirayuki, it is a game. It is not a prediction that will actually
happen. I mean, Riko, you should have thought a little before you
wrote these stickers! What is with these stickers?! They are
unethical!”
I reluctantly insert another pink pin into the car while making
complaints.
Terrifying…
I then stopped, again, at the marriage square… and the next thing
I knew, the car was full of women.
And for some reason, around that time, Aria and Riko were also
giving birth. They were not as proficient as Shirayuki, but even Reki,
Jeanne, Hiraga, and even Fuuma were having kids.
Hey, hey, what is going on guys?!
I would now continue going on with my life, trembling with an
inexpressible sense of anxiety.
In the end, the “Game of Life” ended normally without any major
cheating.
The winner was Riko, who boldly took the ‘Biggest Gamble of Her
Life’ and won an insane amount of money. The winner overall was
my team.
“Banzai~! Banzai~! Winner~! Riko, you are a millionaire~!
Bazaaaaaaaai!”
Yes!
And Riko began scattering wads of bills in the air.
“I am going to do it again! Even if it will be a pain to clean up!”
Aria, who felt no debt to me despite covering her debt she accrued
in the game, is holding her…? I heard Riko say “Hie?!” from a low
position.
Oh, she put Riko in a piledriver position.
That is one of Aria’s specialties. I get hit with it all the time.
Since this is a common scene in martial arts (except usually both
parties are not only wearing a bra and panties), I was able to ignore
the dull “gosu~” sound effect…
I breathe a sigh of relief.
(All games… are finished… I… survived Cast-Off… Table…)
Hysteria Wiseman Mode. My goggles malfunction. Aria’s royal
straight flush. Shirayuki’s awesome body. Reki’s Tenwa. Jeanne’s… I
forget the name of the technique, but it was some kind of ball
disappearing technique. Riko and Hiraga’s Himetetsu technique. My
henchman Fuuma.
… and finally, the war between the Wiseman and the Fool inside of
me.
A lot has happened at the Cast-Off table, but… now it is over.
I am going home alive today, back to the boyss third dormitory.
“What is wrong with you, Fuuma? You seem to be sweating
uncontrollably…”
“Ninnin-chan, you are sweating like a baby!”
“N-… no… it is… nothing…”
Ah. That is right.
This was not the time to be reminiscing in my emotions at the end
of this war.
The losing Fuuma… She now has to take off her blouse but is not
wearing anything underneath it.
I have to leave as fast as I can. Even though my eyes are closed
under my goggles, depending on the reactions of the girls upon
seeing Fuuma’s breasts in person… Vlad could appear in my mind
again.
“So that concludes the Cast-Off table, and yes, I have won.”
I quickly get up, turn my back to the group, and begin walking
quickly towards the door.
“Ehh, Ki-kun. You leave as soon as you are done, typically guys do
that when they hate the people they are with you know? Why don’t
you stay and watch Ninnin-chan take off the last piece of her
clothing. You can see the motion of her taking off her blouse even
with those goggles, cant you? It would be better to watch, wouldn’t
it?”
Riko, who it appears has quickly revived, called to my back.
“If you think about it, it will be a great deal for you. I have already
won the tournament, so there is no reason for me to be here. Let’s
go home. Hey, Fuuma. Stop sweating in your loincloth and tell
everyone what is going on. They might give you a break.”
And so when I opened the door and grabbed the doorknob…
“…wait a minute, Kinji.”
My master Aria’s voice was heard.
“I thought something was… suspicious… ever since billiards…”
Her voice is trembling with… yes… anger…
“You just said loincloth. That is Japanese underwear that Fuuma
wears… How did you see it with your goggles on, huh?”
“…!”
My fingers, gripping the doorknob, also begin to tremble.
“W-… Well, that’s…”
Ok, relax Kinji. We are only one door and one step away from
survival.
I am not going to die in a place like this…!
“EHH?! So Riko’s striped panties were visible to Ki-Kun too?! Ki-kun
etchi! Etchi sketchy etchi!”
Riko was shouting out crazy things and I got so irritated that I took
it out on her.
“Shut up! You are not even wearing striped panties!”
… and then… I noticed…
That was just a word trick by Riko.
She lied to me on purpose as bait…
“If the goggles are working, how do you know the shape and pattern
of a girls underwear! Kinji!”
“Eeee, Ki, Kin-chan…?”
“So you can see it all after all… Kushishishi…”
“…”
“Toyama… You are a…!”
“When did you turn it off?!”
“Ma, Master?!”
… I have… been exposed… totally…!
“It is all Hiraga’s fault, the goggles broke! I did not turn them off!
They are broken!”
I take off my goggles and throw them on the floor.
“He blamed it on Ayaya! Bleeeeeeeeee!”
“Kinji you…! You always blame everything on someone else! You are
the worst!”
“Oh, yoshi, yoshi, Ayaya, keep crying into Riko’s chest~”
I-, I cannot even put the blame on Hiraga-san…!”
Click. ka-chink. shhhh.
I cannot turn my back due to hysteria mode, but… I can hear the
sounds of a governor pistol, a Dragunov sniper rifle, and an
unsheathing Durandal ready to execute me.
Kuh~… but you girls… look at this position.
My hand is already on the doorknob. I can easily and quickly leave
this place.
The plan is this. distract them with some kind of intimidation, and
then I can use my semi-hysteria athleticism to get out of here. Then,
while the girls are getting dressed, I escape from the women’s
dormitory.
Now all I have to do is run for it. I will run to Okinotori Island. I am
good at running anyways, I should be fine.
.. I win.
That is right. I am way ahead of you girls.
Because at the Cast-Off table…
(The winner is supposed to be the “most outstanding Butei”!
So when I suddenly yelled “Ahhhhh!” and tried to open the door…
…pinpon…
The intercom rang.
“”””””””…!””””””””
Everyone, including me, turned blue at this.
“Hey! Mine Riko! You again! Someone reported hearing an
explosion!”
“Are you doing something illegal again!”
This… this voice is…!
Ranbyou sensei and Tsuzuri!
The explosion…
(Is that it…?! The jet cue that Hiraga-san used in billiards…!)
That was a billiard cue that used gunpowder for drive power and
made a hell of a noise.
Because it did not sound like a normal gunshot, a student in the
neighbourhood probably called Masters. Riko, who is usually doing
bad things like that, has been blamed for it it would seem.
Gosu~! I can hear the sound of the front door being kicked down.
We are being invaded! The teachers of Masters are invading us!
Gatagata~! I can hear the sound of girls and a few children moving
around behind me, but I cannot turn around. There is nothing I can
do now.
“Help us sensei! It was Toyama-kun! He did something terrible to
us!”
Riko!
“Kinji! Remember that later!”
Aria! I heard her voice from the ceiling, right?
And then… bam!
I was blown away by the door, which was kicked down by
Ranbyou sensei and Tsuzuri sensei and… I crashed into the wall!
After hitting the wall, my body began rolling on the ground as if in a
washing machine, and I… rolled into a pile of Aria’s knee socks,
Shirayuki’s blouse, Riko’s skirt, etc.
“Wait sensei’s…! This may look illegal, BUT, there were legal
circumstances that caused this to happen…!”
When I was in a crawling position, I raised my face to look at the
teachers with Jeanne’s molded bra on my head looking like cat ears.
“To, To, To, Toyama…! Ho~…! Looks like you are all done now, aren’t
you?!”
Ranbyo and Tsuzuri are shaking with rage.
I, with a bare upper body, look at the sensei’s in a posture on my
knees.
“Yes, I have finished seven times, but we were all just playing…” (TL
Note: So, basically, this sounds weird, but essentially put the earlier
sentence is asking if Kinji is done whatever he is doing, and this one
is confirming he IS done, but the way he words it is like usual Kinji
and invites misinterpretation.)
“Hooo… 7 different girls’ clothing… 7 people is a lot, huh, Toyama?”
Tsuzuri counts the different skirts in the room and reachs in her
jacket. Now she is cocking a pitch-black Glock.
And then, pahhhh, she blew out some cigarette smoke.
“… you are the enemy of all women, completely. You just said ‘play’.”
(TL Note: note this is Ranbyou speaking.)
“I guess he is. But it is a big deal to take on seven girls at once. If a
young man is that energetic and hot, we might as well make him our
pet dog before we kill him, right?” (TL Note: no mistakes here, just
kinky.)
“Idiot! He should be shot on sight!”
Jaki. Ranbyou with a trembling hand pulled out the world’s largest
pistol, the M500.
Hey… HEY! The charges I am hearing are far more serious than
what was done in the Cast-Off table, and the punishment far greater
than anything the Cast-Off table had to offer!
“Hey, wait a minute! Hey, you girls, explain what happened here!”
I had no choice but to look around…
All of the girls had disappeared suddenly… Aria is hiding in the
ceiling, and the emergency exit door that Riko had run through was
swinging and, oh, it just closed and locked automatically.
(Oh, I’m…)
The Cast-Off table winner was supposedly the best Butei out of
the 8.
But no matter how strong they are… the demon teachers at Butei
High School are in a completely different class…!
The only way I can win is by going into complete Hysteria Mode
but.. all the potential detonators that were in the room just a few
minutes ago are gone.
Moreover, the two opponents in front of me are both young
women. Their personalities are more vicious than Aria’s, but their
faces are beautiful. If I hysterized, I would say or do something that
would make this Gorilla and Junky woman think “Oh he is cool” or
“oh he is cute” and things could just go from bad to worse.
I would rather deal with two teachers by escaping than entering
Hysteria mode and fighting.
“…Tsu…”
I am already prepared to be shot, and so I put Shirayuki’s white
bulletproof blouse over my head with shaking hands.
Except for the chest it is very tight, but… yes! The sleeves fit!
“…UAAAAAAAA!”
Dressed as a sailor in a sailor suit but my original pants, I ran to
the window…
“Stop! Don’t run away Toyama!”
…DOMUUUUUUUU!
Ranbyou’s M5000 bullet that made a cannon-like sound hit me on
my back, and I was blown away by the impact and broke through the
window, jumping out into the air.
Then, I used the hook belt wire that was left on my pants to land
on the balcony downstairs…
And to end it all, a girl who was watering flowers on the veranda
on the lower floor is now screaming at the man in the sailor suit that
has fallen from the upper floor, cutting the wire, and then re-diving
towards the roadside trees below.
I think during the fall.
I won’t at the Cast-Off table, but my victory was fleeting.
A new game of battles is beginning, one that was not anticipated
and will continue.
That’s how life is. So, first of all…
(Today it will be Masters, tomorrow it will be Aria and the girls…)
I have to run, run more, win, and keep defending myself!
…from here on out, the battle is not to protect my clothes, but my
life!
Gunshot For The Next!!!
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