Hoshi wo Taguru Pt. 11

Once the date changed, Natsuko left. After her came several more customers, and Subaru would introduce himself to each of them. Subaru felt relieved that no one besides Natsuko knew about him. 

When the final tipsy customer declared, “I’m going home and going to bed,” around 3am, Tokizawa decided that it was time to close up. Subaru nodded and started to help clean up. Subaru had only seen it for a day, but he thought that it was a good bar with a lot of good patrons.

After they left and locked up, Subaru asked, “How long does it take to walk back to your place?” Tokiawa then replied that it was about 40 minutes.

“Okay, let’s walk back then.” Subaru decided.

“Huh, but it’s cold. Is it really okay?”

“No, it’s not okay but I thought that I really wanted to try walking back. But if you really aren’t up for it, then we don’t have to, since it’s cold.”

“I’m okay,” Tokizawa answered, “But if midway, you don’t want to walk anymore then we can call a taxi.”

“Okay.”

The two walked side by side as they walked away from the shining neon lights of the city. It was very bustling during the afternoon, but as expected, there were no cars or lights at this time. It was very quiet.

Apparently, in Hokkaido, it was the coldest in January, between midnight and early morning. Subaru trudged along the snow with his thick coat zipped all the way up.

“Subaru, are you cold?”

“Of course I am. But I also think this is good to do in Hokkaido too. Sorry for making you do this with me though, you’re probably cold too.”

“Sometimes I walk home too when I’m by myself so I’m used to it,” Tokizawa, who had a red nose, laughed. Unlike Subaru, who was holding his shoulders from the cold, Tokizawa just smoothly walked on the snow covered road. Even though Tokizawa only lived in Hokkaido for a few years, he looked like someone who has spent their whole life here.

Subaru looked away from Tokizawa to look at the sky. “Aww, I can’t see any stars.”

It was the same as when he left the bar. Thick clouds, without a single visible star.

“Hm? Oh yeah, that’s very common this time of the year.”

Drawn to Subaru’s words, Tokizawa also looked up at the sky. He stated it so nonchalantly, but Subaru’s eyes widened in shock.

“What? Not just today?”

“Hmm, yeah I think winter…is generally cloudy.”

Subaru thought that today just happened to be bad weather. He looked up at the smoky clouds once more and sighed.

Subaru thought that because it was winter, the air would clear up, and he’d be able to see a lot of stars.

“Heck.. so even if I go to an observatory then I may not be able to see them either,” spoke Subaru defeatedly. He muttered that he had been looking forward to seeing Hokkaido’s starry sky.

“But it’s really amazing when there’s clear skies.”

“Really? Well then I hope that it clears up at least once while I’m here.”

Tokizawa rubbed his hands to fight off the numbing feeling in his hands as he said, “I hope so too,” he agreed.

“… I want to go with you.” Tokizawa muttered those few words a little bit later.

Tokizawa said those words so quietly, but Subaru ended up hearing them. It was indeed too quiet. Subaru read in a book somewhere that the snow absorbed sounds. It was true after all, he thought. It was even quieter now that there were no more taxis in the street. It was past peak taxi time.

“Where to?”
“Huh…. Oh uh, the observatory.” Tokizawa stuttered.

Tokizawa thought that he hadn’t been heard, so he made a slightly panicked face before answering. Subaru thought it was a rather anticlimactic response, so he said, “that’s it? I did intend to invite you too. I thought I’d align it with your day off…. So uh, when is your set day off?”

“I don’t have set days off. Actually I’ve never taken a day off,” Tokizawa said straightforwardly. But Subaru was shocked and looked up at Tokizawa.

“Seriously!?”
“Yeah.”

“It’s been six years since you opened your bar, right? And since then, you haven’t taken a single day off?” Subaru asked quickly but Tokizawa just replied with a nod and a “Yeah.”

On rainy days, windy days, snowy days, even when it’s thundering or when it’s very hot or very cold. Even when sick.

Tokizawa said it very nonchalantly, but to Subaru, it wasn’t something that could be considered amazing.

“…Ah, actually I have once. Yesterday, I opened the bar, but I closed it soon after,” Tokizawa said in a rather embarrassed tone after remembering.

“Ahh but you did end up opening, even if it was for a short time. So why? Is it like your policy or something? If you don’t have a day off then you can’t do errands and such right? What do you do when you catch a cold?”

“I don’t really have anything super important to do, and if I did, then I can just do them in the afternoon since I’m free during that time. I don’t really have any problems with my health, and I don’t catch colds.” Tokizawa stopped talking for a bit, and then continued even though it looked hard for him to speak. “It’s not really so much of a policy, but I thought that if you ever came here, then I’d have to be open every day… I don’t know what I would do if you came when I wasn’t around… it was an unreasonable thought but I couldn’t stop myself from doing it.”

“I see,” Subaru said in an attempt to give a reply that didn’t show shock or amazement.

Subaru remembered that Tokizawa said that he kept wishing for Subaru to come to the bar.

At the time, Subaru denied it, but it seemed like it was actually true. After all, it was way too crazy. Perhaps some mysterious power was moving something along. At any rate, maybe because he was such an alien that if he did have that power, it wouldn’t be strange at all.

Subaru had been absentmindedly looking up at Tokizawa’s face when Tokizawa tilted his head with an anxious expression.

“Are you shocked?” Tokizawa asked.

“Not really shocked, but more so I find it kind of funny.”

“That’s good.”

“It wasn’t a compliment.”

“….Sorry.”

“It’s fine. But I think it’s best if you take a break from now on. At the very least, while I’m here,” Subaru said, but right after felt that it might have been too presumptuous of him. But since he already said it, there was no taking it back.

The person Subaru was talking to was Tokizawa after all, so even if it might have been wrong to say, Subaru had the feeling that Tokizawa would never see him as presumptuous. Just as Subaru thought that, he was filled with self-loathing.

Where did the arrogant display of confidence even come from?

Subaru’s internal conflict went unnoticed by Tokizawa, who in fact didn’t question what Subaru said and instead laughed.

“Yeah… but I think I’ll still end up opening the bar every day. It’s always been like that.”

“So I guess it has become something of a policy?”

“I guess it has,” Tokizawa laughed and nodded.

In no time at all, they had arrived to Tokizawa’s apartment building.

After a week of being Hokkaido, Subaru was now familiar with the area around Tokizawa’s apartment building and Tokizawa’s bar.

Subaru was not helping out at the bar everyday. In fact, three days prior, he went to Otaru to do some sightseeing. And both yesterday and the day before, he walked around the city.

Subaru actually had every intention to help out at the bar, but Tokizawa told him, “You came all the way here so you should do some sightseeing.” But written all over his face was, I’ll be troubled if I end up feeling nervous about you coming to see me at the bar. So, Subaru pretended not to notice, and when he simply replied, “Got it,” Tokizawa looked extremely relieved. 

And since the time Subaru spent travelling eventually grew, Tokizawa just told him the code to the auto lock door to his place, as well as letting Subaru borrow a spare key.

Tokizawa would return home before the sun came up. He would go to sleep without eating, and in the morning he would eat the breakfast that Subaru had prepared. For the past week, the two have spent their time doing their own thing.

As usual, Subaru would start making breakfast preparations before Tokizawa woke up. If Tokizawa was awake earlier, then he would just stand there, next to Subaru with a stiff face. Subaru would not be able to make more complicated meals.

“I wonder what I should do today?”

Subaru thought this to himself after he and Tokizawa finished breakfast once again. He headed to the living room with a guidebook and absentmindedly started flipping through the pages.

There were many pages marked with sticky notes, all of them being places Subaru wanted to visit. However, they were far from Sapporo. And they weren’t places that could be seen all in one day. So it would’ve been better to spend the night while traveling. So Subaru decided on the spot that instead of going around Sapporo for the third day in a row, he would just take it easy and help out at the bar tonight.

Just as Subaru closed the guidebook, Tokizawa returned to the living room after having finished washing the dishes. Even though Subaru said that he would also do it, Tokizawa insisted he could at least wash the dishes and refused to budge on that.

Tokizawa saw the guidebook in Subaru’s hand.

“Where will you go today?” Tokizawa asked while tilting his head.

“I’m not going anywhere. I’ll just relax, and then help out tonight.”

“Oh…O-okay.”

“Hey, it kind of hurts if you really hate me coming with you.”
“I don’t hate it!” Tokizawa yelled in denial as he vigorously shook his head.

“I know, I know. It’s that you get nervous. I was joking.”
“Um, I really do just want you to enjoy sightseeing here.”

“Yeah, I know. Thanks.” Subaru thanked him gently.

Tokizawa’s face relaxed and nodded. “I have to do some shopping so you can come by later.”

“Okay.”

Subaru, who had just remembered he had to do some laundry, stood up and unintentionally glanced out the window. He realized he had gotten used to the tileless scenery, the look of square or triangular shapes that made the roofs.The reality that he was in Hokkaido slowly surged inside him, along with the feeling of uneasiness about what he was going to do after this. The sky was filled with the heavy shade of gray clouds. It didn’t look like Subaru would be able to see the stars tonight either.