How to Avoid Debut

༺ How To Avoid Debut – 26 ༻

 

  “Bro, are you okay from being grabbed by the collar?”

 

  Jun, who had been quietly watching from the corner as if he was really surprised, ran over to me. Although he didn’t directly participate in the hidden camera, Jun who had come in to watch seemed unaware that it would go this far and kept feeling my neck.

 

  “He didn’t grab me that hard.”

 

  “Still, I didn’t know he would get so angry.”

 

  “Usually, um…”

 

  Gaon also seemed quite flustered by the recent scene, trailing off ambiguously. Hwiyoung was sweeping up the remains of the firecracker he had set off, and only Yejun kept laughing. When I hit his arm at the sight of him unable to stop laughing like he was watching a funny variety show, he finally raised his head.

 

  “Why?”

 

  “What’s so funny?”

 

  “Well, he’s been holding back a lot. I think he tried to control himself as much as possible because there are people watching, but he might be breaking something right about now.”

 

  I imagine it might be his cell phone. Imagining the latest model cell phone that Kim Seongwon held in his hand every day flying harshly, I shook my head because it was so horrifying.

 

  I did think he seemed angry from the beginning, but I didn’t know he would show such an emotional reaction. I rubbed my neck for no reason, recalling the back of Kim Seongwon who turned pale and walked out. “Was this filmed?” The harshly asked voice continued to echo in my head.

 

  In the main shooting that soon started, there were neither Jigu nor Kim Seongwon. Jigu didn’t come at all, and Kim Seongwon disappeared somewhere. I couldn’t ask my uncle because there were eyes watching, but it seemed like he probably requested a complete edit and went home.

 

  He seemed very angry, but he wouldn’t hit me with a beam on my way home, would he? No, I’m innocent, right? Feeling an inexplicable chill, I gently rubbed my neck with my hand.

 

  “Wow, Blue Marble… I haven’t played this since elementary school.”

 

  The rule was that people who wanted to could form teams and pick games, and surprisingly, Yejun, who had jumped up right away, brought Blue Marble. Yejun, who had dropped the Blue Marble game with a thud on the table where a camera was placed in the center, made a V sign at the camera and smiled.

 

  I had no choice but to sit on the chair since this was the only place with people who I knew somewhat. The people at the table next to us were happily sticking in poles to drop a monkey. I didn’t like the game itself, but if I were to play, I would have preferred that one, and I was secretly disappointed.

 

  “Team games are fun.”

 

  “But there are five of us?”

 

  So, let’s leave one person out. Immediately, a rock-paper-scissors game began. The loser was left out. And I became the honored one.

 

  Quietly cursing the clenched fist I’d held out, I picked up the white airplane token, intending to pick at least the prettiest piece. Jun high-fived Yejun, saying that he and I had always gotten along well, and Gaon shook Hwiyoung randomly, who looked thoughtless, saying, “Let’s do well.” And I clapped my two hands together by myself.

 

  “We’ll roll the dice first.”

 

  In the worst-case scenario, I even lost in rock-paper-scissors to decide the order, and my airplane token was placed last. The game went smoothly, but my mind kept wandering elsewhere. I was scolded to focus after missing the timing to throw because I kept staring at empty space.

 

  “Bro, are you not having fun?”

 

  “It’s totally fun.”

 

  “Are you upset about being left alone?”

 

  “No.”

 

  Jun jokingly spoke with a relatively serious expression, and I also felt unnecessarily bothered, so in the end, I let go of my stray thoughts and grabbed the dice. And at the same time, Jigu stepped into the set.

 

  I thought he wouldn’t come, but seeing Jigu repeatedly saying “I’m sorry” with an unfazed expression, I slowly fixed my gaze back onto the game board.

 

  The rest of the people also seemed surprised at Jigu’s arrival and all stopped the game, their gazes gathering in the same place. In response to these burdensome reactions, Jigu came rushing over to us with his head lowered.

 

  “Why are you just arriving now? Because of you, your team leader has been playing alone.”

 

  With a beaming smile, Yejun snatched the dice from my hand and smoothly passed it to Jigu. Jun, who had been sitting still, swiftly got up, brought an empty chair from the next table, and Jigu bowed his head and slowly sat down.

 

  Then, with an unconcerned expression, he threw the dice. The dice, rolling with a refreshing sound, stopped showing the high number of 11, and the white airplane instantly ascended to the lead.

 

  Throughout the game, Jigu’s face had a strange expression that was hard to read, seeming both bright and dark, so I also threw the dice while being mindful. Quite gloomily, every time I threw the dice, the airplane landed on the opponent’s land, and due to this, the thickness of the bills piled up in front of us was getting thinner.

 

  Even though I was blatantly saying “I’m a bomb!” and ruining the game, Jigu silently rolled the dice. Perhaps that’s how he skillfully avoided and built buildings, it felt like he alone was reviving the game I had ruined.

 

  “Did you put some talisman on your hand?”

 

  “Every single line is our land, but you never step on it.”

 

  Thanks to Jigu’s luck in avoiding other’s lands almost to the point of cheating, protests poured in from the other team. Among them, Jun even suggested a rule-breaking solution, saying, “Only Hahyun should throw!”

 

  However, in the end, my misfortune overturned our airplane, and due to heading towards an exorbitantly expensive hotel, we were the first to go bankrupt.

 

  “…Hey, I’m sorry.”

 

  “No, it’s not an important game.”

 

  I apologized because it was awkward without any word, but Jigu responded with a face that suggested it was less of a big deal than I thought. It was the first time I heard his voice today. After that, the number of times Jigu opened his mouth was astonishingly few.

 

  To say he was lost for words was an understatement; we played a whopping three rounds of Blue Marble, and during that long time, the only words Jigu said were “Ah.” and “Ahh.” The same Jigu, who alternately uttered exclamations and sighs, voiced another “Ahh.” when the final round ended with Yejun and Jun’s victory.

 

  “2 to 1 to 0. Hahyun, you’re really bad, you couldn’t win a single round with such a weapon.”

 

  “I was born with a problem in my hand.”

 

  “Looking at you throwing the dice, it seems so.”

 

  We exchanged this bland conversation for a moment, then immediately began to clean up the board. The other teams also seemed to be almost finished with their games, and it seemed like the PD was waiting for the right timing to proceed with the hidden camera.

 

  Because the person at that table farthest away just got led by a staff member into the next room. And on the other side, one participant with a serious face was leading another participant by the hand. It felt like something was about to start, but our team was the very picture of peace.

 

  “Just have fun freely.”

 

  “Yes.”

 

  It seems like they’re about to start filming the hidden camera. The staff, who had turned off all the cameras and given us the mission to have fun freely, seemed busy.

 

  Even as people disappeared one by one discreetly, everyone seemed uninterested as they were busy having fun, and none of us were called.

 

  They said they would focus on the top-ranking participants, but they’re not calling even though there are only single-digit people left.

 

  Perhaps the fact that we were not filming relaxed everyone’s tension, everyone was having fun comfortably. Most people were playing games on their phones, and at the next table, they were once again trying to make a monkey fall.

 

  “Jun-ah, didn’t you guys do a hidden camera earlier?”

 

  At that time, an unnamed participant approached our table where we had been sitting quietly. The words that came out of the mouth of the man who naturally draped his arm around Jun’s neck were about the topic that had been confusing my head since earlier.

 

  We definitely did it only amongst ourselves inside the practice room, so how did the other participants know? My eyes, which had been moving left and right, became fixed on Jun. In the meantime, two more unknown participants had come.

 

  “It was totally brutal, you grabbed him by the collar?”

 

  “Huh?”

 

  “Everyone knows. A passing participant saw it. Kim Seongwon was extremely pissed when he left.”

 

  “It was awesome. He made the atmosphere intense and then left by himself.”

 

  Who conducted such a hidden camera! A man imitating Kim Seongwon stomped his feet dramatically. He was really reckless. In that brief moment, I had no idea that a rumor like this had already spread among the participants.

 

  The three men who quickly gathered didn’t seem to have friendly feelings toward Kim Seongwon, as they chuckled with furrowed brows.

 

  “If that gets out, his personality is going to explode. He’s always subtly been ignoring others.”

 

  “Really?”

 

  “Yes, blatantly. It’s refreshing. Because he’s exactly the type of protagonist in such a script.”

 

  “There’s even a video of it. A passerby filmed it through the door gap. Want to see it?”

 

  The words that came from the mouth of the man who was uncomfortably close to Jun gave me a great shock. When the heck did he film that? While I was stupidly gaping, the man opened his gallery and started searching for the video.

 

  I wondered how many enemies Kim Seongwon had made while filming this program, as scattered participants began to gather. Listening to the insults coming from all around, I reaffirmed that indeed, one’s conduct should be upright.

 

  I wondered how much I had unintentionally scratched others’ feelings, the combined sounds seemed like they could even build a building.

 

  Even though it was conducted secretly before the shooting started, the space was so cramped that the rumor seems to have already spread everywhere. While I was staring blankly at the air, many conversations were exchanged among the participants.

 

  “Did he really grab him?”

 

  “I recognized him from the moment I subtly pointed at Jaeyoung.”

 

  Like the false rumors of Jigu, the testimonies of the participants alone were enough to cause a character controversy. Watching people start to cut in and belittle him as if it was a good thing, I felt strangely.

 

  So, the shooting of the behind-the-scenes video ended in a tumultuous atmosphere. In the end, not a single person from our table participated in the hidden camera shooting, and the participants joked that the hidden camera targeting Kim Seongwon was the most fun today.

 

  Listening to their voices, I tied my sneaker laces again, intending to go home as quickly as possible.

 

  “Senior, just a moment.”

 

  Despite my hands continually slipping, I was tying my shoelaces tightly when Jigu, who had been crouching on the floor, met my eyes. His eyes seemed to have something to say, so I momentarily stopped my hands. Leaving the half-tied shoelaces as they were and lifting myself up, Jigu sat on the chair next to him, as if he had been waiting. He had his head lowered again, as if he had no intention of having a face-to-face conversation.

 

  “I just watched the hidden camera video…”

 

  “Oh, you did?”

 

  “Are you okay?”

 

  As soon as he lifted his deeply bowed head, I saw a worried expression on his face. Jigu’s question, asked with slightly bitten lips, looked quite serious, so I just nodded up and down.

 

  “They just grabbed my collar. I wasn’t hurt.”

 

  “I know that guy can’t really handle such things, but I didn’t think it would go that far.”

 

  I watched his hands moving aimlessly in mid-air, and wanted to reach out and grab them. I wondered if I, who was grabbed by the collar for no reason, looked quite pitiful, as Jigu’s eyes were heavy. So I thought I should change the subject.

 

  “By the way, you came to shoot today”

 

  Even though I abruptly changed the subject, Jigu didn’t drag the previous question back and instead responded to what I said.

 

  “I decided to do it…so.”

 

  “I see.”

 

  “I ran away once, but I don’t want to run away a second time.”

 

  Jigu’s expression as he made his firm resolution seemed more serious than anyone else in the world, so I had no choice but to swallow any trivial consolation and push it back down my throat.

 

  What kind of thoughts did he have overnight to become so strong? No, was he always like this and I just didn’t know? Maybe I was the only one treating him as a kid who can’t do anything.

 

  I was burying myself in deep thoughts when Jigu suddenly laughed. His facial muscles seemed too soft to force a smile, which was a bit surprising. I wondered if my facial expression amused him, or if he had heard my inner thoughts.

 

  “Thanks for the lemonade yesterday. It was a big comfort.”

 

  “No problem.”

 

  Since I couldn’t make a big deal out of the buy-one-get-one-free lemonade, I hastily shook my head. The fact that he was comforted by a simple beverage and thanked me for it strangely made my throat choke up. Thus, I carefully placed my hand on the nape of his neck that was revealed as he lowered his head.

 

  “Good you came.”

 

  As soon as my hand touched him, I felt him shiver. Only then did I realize how crude and impolite it was to place my cold hand on his warm skin. I slowly took my hand away and started retying the scattered shoelaces as if nothing happened.

 

  Both of us did not want to continue the conversation, so the silence continued. Despite the noisy sound of the staff still organizing things, it felt incredibly quiet.

 

  “I’ll go ahead.”

 

  “Oh, okay. Take care.”

 

  Jigu, who broke the silence first, picked up his phone without hesitation and left the set. There was no reason for me to stay here either, so I was about to leave but decided to wait a bit longer.

 

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