How to be a good mortal father to your demon kids

dear diary,

as you can see I am coping very well with this situation.

Most men would have already gone insane, but I am not that weak!

All I need to handle this is a proper mindset and a positive attitude.

So what if I have been thrown into the dungeons of hell?

So what if I can hear the screams of evil people being tortured by demons and incubi?

So what if Lucifer thinks he's my father in law?

The dungeons of hell are not so bad, sure the screaming souls of tortured sinners can be a bit scary but after thirty minutes you kind of get used to it and Lucifer was kind enough to give me a dungeon to sleep in, its bigger than my house so I guess I should say thank you?!

I will meet my eggs in the afternoon and with any luck, they will not eat me when they hatch.

I am a very skinny man, it would not be a proper meal, it would not be good for any of us.

Yes, I have accepted my fate as their father mostly because I do not want to be murdered by Minos, who I recently found out to be a minotaur.

a man-eating cow-man.

Lucifers brother...

I suddenly regret eating all those hamburgers,

I should have shaved my head and lived as a monk, eating nothing but tofu and drinking green tea, then I wouldn't be in this situation.

Yu Yang, you said you were on the pill!

you know, this really wasn't how I saw my life going,

I thought I'd finish school, get a job get a cat and live out the rest of my days playing Hoverwatch, but I guess life doesn't work how you think it will.

Still, I am rather excited, let's call it a scientific curiosity, I am after all the first man to be a father of demons so I really want to see what they look like will they be seven girls or seven boys? or a random mix of the two?

either way, I don't mind.

I will be a good father.

I'll take them to parks we'll get a cat, I'll teach them how to be manly! wait they might be girls...I'll teach them how to beat up boys! That'll be awesome my own little army of Ladies and young masters! I'll look so cool buying groceries I'll be a good father, no I'll be the greatest dad ever!

I haven't even come up with names or maybe they already have names, I think I need a manual I don't even know what they eat.

I hope it's not human flesh.

Or human souls.

I guess I can handle if they wanna suck blood as long as it's not mine...